PWC comfortable rich lifestyle compaired to NRP

January 26, 2012

Myself and my ex partner cohabited for 11 years we had 2 children and a house in both our names,mortgage was £40.000 which we both paid at the time.After 11 years my ex left the family home and started a new life with his now wife.

I was working part time and had to give up my job to look after my children at home and had to claim income support. My ex made child maintenance payments for the 11 years but as I was claiming income support the money was paid to the state and not to me. He legally didnt have to pay the mortgage and didnt give me one penny to bring up our children.

The house at the time was dropping to bits around us while he was very comfortably living in a 4 bed brand new detatched house. I had to stay on income support as my housing benefit paid the mortgage and I had no childcare help to return to work full time. However, 4 years ago I met my now husband and have been married for 2 years now,as the house was in my ex’s name too I was unable to buy him out as I was unemployed I had to sell the house (£56.000 valuation at time of seperation) the house sold for £110.00 with a mortgage of (£40.000) after costs we were left with £32.000 EACH all because I could not remove his name or claim off the house legally.

My share paid off my debts and contributed towards starting a fresh with my husband,his share was pocket money.My son lived with his dad when he started secondary school as the local school was excellent for children with ASD’s, and last year I was lucky enough to finally gain full time employment.

My ex had worked for 20 years with the same company and had ‘climbed the ladder’ considerably, company car, etc. His wife also works. They enjoyed a lovely home, foreign holidays etc. I myself live in a 1 bed council flat with my husband earning £7 per hour,no car,no foreign holidays and no savings,scrapping by each month,husband earns less than me working full time too,we were hoping to privately rent a 2 bed house so my son could have his own room. My ex has recently taken his 20 year redundancy, nice payoff!!!

All I want to say is I do believe people should pay for the upbringing of their children but it should be done FAIRLY and both parents lifestyles should be taken into account…


  • Brian says:

    Yes, agree don’t we all. But its one thing asking the other parent NRP to help financially bring up the child. WHAT? about the mother who refuses contact! who uses the child as a pawn? yeah there is NO amount of money going to financially compensate a NRP for that lost. Makes me sick women do that.

    However most NRPs struggle because the system is one sided towards the PWC or mother in most cases. They use this as a gift new “lifestyle” imagine getting £400+ a month + benefits and living with a partner with an income.

    I understand what you mean 100% just wish it was different. the CSA dioes no work it is purely a cash cow for the Govt.

    Both sides need to be assessed.


  • TT says:

    I hate women who wont let THEIR children see THEIR father unless they pay…..and this is a woman talking. Obviously thinking of her pocket instead of the happiness and wellbeing of her children.

    My ex told me he didnt want any financial help when my son went to live with him (I was unemployed at the time anyway) as he has a very comfortable lifestyle etc. ( he earns at least 3 times as much as me) but everytime we had a spat he would say ‘you dont want to upset me, you will regret it’ ….. long story short I upset him and he went to the csa …. needless to say he is only doing it to punish me…..not because he needs the money for our son…..only he is taking it away from our son as I will not be able to afford to rent a 2 bed house now so our son can have his own room instead of sleeping in the living room on a fold up bed…..oh well I suppose my money will go towards decorating his 4 bed detatched house….or his poxy golf equipment….or salon haircuts for his working wife…but the one thing they will never take away from me is the unconditional love between my son and I…….which is priceless!!!!!

    Oh and another thing after 12 months the csa still cant even get my name right which is very annoying…..its so simple its ‘Mrs’……NOT ‘Miss’

  • Elaine says:

    My husband has paid over and above for his son! When he left his partner some 8 years ago. He paid her large sums of money via the CSA (and did this voluntary) plus continued to pay the mortgage payments in full, the council tax, the electricity, water and heating oil for 2 years, even though she had moved her new partner in, within a month of my husband leaving her. She has taken my husband to tribunal after tribunal wanting more and more money, always making claims that life style is not consistent with declared income etc. This woman and her partner are ‘Social Workers’, they have abused their positions as Social Workers to prevent my husband from seeing and having contact with his sone from the age of 8 years old. He is now 17. I believe that if the NRP is not allowed access to their children, because of the PWC pent up feelings of hatred and revenge, why should he pay anything? This woman has lied to their son saying that my husband abandoned him and does not want anything to do with him. This is not true, my husband fought for 5 years via court proceedings, but guess what? Cafcas have the final say. Who are Cafcas? Social Services!

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