My daughter adopted but still CSA want me to pay

July 19, 2010

Whilst married my ex-wife and I moved about 60 miles away. When we split up I moved back yo be near my parents. It took me a while to find a new job.

In the meantime my ex wife contacted my parents (she refused to speak to me) and stated that her new partner wanted to adopt my daughter. I took a month or so to think about it, a lot of soul-searching and definitely not a decision I made lightly but agreed and signed the relevant forms, returned them to my parents to forward them to her. I heard no more from the CSA.

In late 2007 my father died, 3 months later my mother died. My ex and my daughter turned up to my father’s funeral and I phoned my daughter when my mother died but could get no answer to calls emails or texts(after renewing contact at the funeral). They did not come to my mother’s funeral but I immediately received a letter from the CSA. The letter stated that I owed £11,000 in arrears and they had made a new assessment of £95 per week. Obviously I phoned them straight away and explained my daughter had been adopted. They called my ex and then phoned me back saying my ex had told them ‘we never actually went ahead with the adoption in the end’. The CSA said that as I am still legally responsible I am liable. I agreed with that but said that surely this should now be treated as a new claim? They said no, its still an open claim on the old system and I owe the arrears.

I went through my MP – don’t bother with that, all they do is get the CSA to review the case only to get the same result .

There is absolutely nothing I can do, the CSA treat this so flippantly its scary. They don’t care about the fact that I spent all those years with no contact which broke my heart. I did waht I thought was right for my daughter to have a stable upbringing with their child and I was just stitched up.


  • Brokenfather says:

    I think it would be wise to check if your ex is telling the truth or not.

    If the adoption went through the Court should have advised you, however this is not foolproof. Things go missing in the post for example.

    You will need to ascertain if an Adoption Certificate exists, this link tells you how to get one –

  • chris says:

    the f bastards, i am so going to sort them out soon they are vicious
    i have to pay too and get no access rights. they dont want to help no father, they are just on the side of the mother she can lie and be abusive and everything and the father ends up the dick no wayj ose
    i wish somethign terrible to happen to csa something really horrible for them to wake up to see how they ruin lifes. judgement day for them is overdue!

  • kev says:

    my ex had an affair with a man from work and tricked me out of my house , when my son was 4 wks old. never been in trouble dont do drugs or anything illegal yet i have to pay for him , havent seen him for 3 yrs cant afford to live with my new family and to this day am still sleeping in my friends spare room. 5k for a solicitor which i havent got to prove she is lying. my ex and csa have certainly ruined my life.

  • Peter says:

    My one night stand takeing me for maintenance I have been paying since 2010 every month on the dot every renewal I letters saying in areas all the time last year they took £568.00 out over my wages for 4 months saying I owe it was there in black and white that I have never missed a payment csa tell me every year what to pay thank God I have kept everything from csa. Gave them all my banks statement and they still took the £558.00 I only earn £1500.,,month my Bill’s come to £900 pounds as I have half custody of my son with my ex the csa didnt gave a dame they way they speak to you on the phone is disgusting they wind you up so much they need to tape them how they speak to us we only want fairness. I have had the mp involved they dont even answer the mp they taken this out of my wages its costing me £50 pounds to take it out of my wages and I have never missed a payment how the hell can they do this no wonder these men take there lives if it wasn’t for my parents I would be on the street and the csa didnt gave a shit absolutely disgusting how we men are treated by the csa there has to be a better way than this surely I have been at a very low point with the CSA as I know I have never missed a payment but they still saying I owe them what ever you do you keep every letter from csa as they wre the most arrogant people I have ever spoke to they should not be allowed to speak to us the way the do. We have a life as well we cant afford to do nothing what you ask for maintenance is unreal you need to look into how the csa deal with things .

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