Father hasn’t paid a penny for two year old daughter

September 15, 2011

I’m 19 years old and I have a daughter that is 2 and a half.

Me and her father broke up when she was a week old and he last saw her since she was 3weeks old and this was his choice. He has never paid a penny towards her upkeep and i struggle with buying clothes, food, day trips so she can have fun and nursery.

I am on benefits so my money doesn’t go far with a grown year-old, was wondering should her father be paying for her even though he doesnt want to see her?

If he should be paying would it affect my benefits if I claimed? He has a 1year old son with his fiance and I just thought that why should he get away with playing happy familys when I struggle?

Any advice on how i should act on this would be great thanks.


  • A decent-woman says:

    Not saying that the father shouldn’t pay something towards his daughter!

    but instead of bleating on about him why not take some responsibility for the situation you are in yourself ………………….. GET A JOB!! Have some pride and pay towards the upkeep of your child yourself instead of relying totally on benefits and expecting the father to pay. You don’t seem to have even considered contributing to the child’s upkeep yourself. Why can’t you work full-time or even part-time (working-tax credits and nursery help is designed to help you do that) and still manage to look after your child, like many others do!

    Sadly this is what is wrong in this country too many women wanting women’s rights, equal rights etc and then sponging off the system!!! The equal rights doesn’t seem to stretch to working and contributing themselves.

    By the way I am a hard working woman, with a child and a wonderful hard working husband who has been (in the past) screwed by both the CSA and a lazy ,sponging, non working, benefit claiming ex wife!!!!

  • Terry norris says:

    To the lady above who commented about the girl “father hasn’t payed a penny towards 2 yr old daughter”
    FAIR PLAY to you,well said.Too many of these girls expect the state to provide them with a meal ticket for life,that’s why half of them get themselves pregnant,for a roof over their heads payed for by hard working taxpayers and benefits,and the bloody CSA just make it even easier for them,the shit system works entirely in their favour and screws the fathers for every penny it can get it’s hands on despite him working hard to keep his new family.You spoilt lazy cow,why should he HAVE to support you as well when he has his own family to support,and you cheeky cow booing about your benefits being cut if if pays you…f******ing hell girl,you expect it all don’t you…full benefits and your paying paying you money as well.you think it’s fair that you should claim max benefits AND get money from the CSA ,what is the point of the CSA if idiots like you still got full benefits? The system would be a pointless exercise,it would gain or save nothing.I know it’s quite useless and should be shut down for being so unfair and unjust to NRP’s but that’s another story.
    Get off your lazy ass and go and work for a living instead of expecting me and all the rest of us tax payees to keep you.

  • jo says:

    being a bit harsh towards the girl aint you!! every father should pay for there kids whether there in its life or not why should she have to struggle when the father who helped create the child does nothing to help or support her

  • emma says:

    excuse me but i have a fucking job! and as for he has his own family well why should he be allowed to have a great life with his son who was born after my fucking daughter!i work every fuckin hard for little fuckin money n dont appreciate arseholes like you tryin to call me a bad mum when i have went to school and raised my daughter and worked while her fuckin dad sits back and has more kids wen he cant look after his first! so before yu say i got fuckin pregnant for benefits or a house get it fuckin ryt” i work part time and live with my mother so hardly doin it for benefits for a fuckin house

  • Deon says:

    Im really sorry but both of you above commenters are talking shit…Im on benefits myself and my daughter is 3..I’ve done all the interviews for jobs and the only reason why ibdidnt get them was because I COULD SPEAK ENGLISH. I wasn’t foreign enough because I knew how much money I should be getting paid an hour…I think its really unfair what your saying when this girl asked for advice not you to slag her off!! My daughters 3 her saddle doesn’t see her and he barely pays for her in 3 years he’s paid 1 10 pound CSA payment. He also has another child and his bird has one already. You can get in touch with CSA and it doesn’t affetlct your benefits..these two that commented don’t have a fucking clue..they don’t seem to understand that there are some young mums out there who don’t spend every penny of benefits on drink and drugs…every price of money I get is spent on my daughter or food and gas n electric for our flat. You don’t know her situation so instead of assuming she’s after every penny why not help her out. And yes he SHOULD BE PAYING for his child he helped make the baby so he should help financially to bring baby up! Can’t stand people like you two thinking you know everything its fucking disgusting

  • Alice says:

    I NEVER comment on these sites, was just browsing and looking for some advice. The comments made about this young women are fucking horrible and out of order..Just because she is a young single mother that gives you NO right to assume she doesnt work or just got pregnant to have a house!!
    I’ve just turned 20 and have a 9month old, her father met her once then decided to have nothing to do with her and has not paid a penny towards her. Its a struggle doing it on your own, so why shouldnt the father pay towards the child??!!! There are women out there who do expect to be handed everything to them on a plate, like a house etc but not everyone is like that..So next time before you feel the need to be judgemental low lifes make sure you know all the facts!!! To the woman who asked for advice, Well Done for working and bringing up your child without him, hope you get the help you need! xx

  • emma says:

    thanks to the ones on here that have been nice to me about my situation but i suppose people like them at the top dont know nothing until they would be in my situation! i work every hard to provide for my daughter and spend time and give her everything i can if she wants it she gets, coz shes hardly gonna get anything from the arsehole of a father, but thanks to the nice people, and to yous at the top dont start slaggin people who you know nothing about and maybe get a life of your own than act all hard callin me names! am hardly like most as you see i work and dont have a house i live with my mum so every penny i get goes to nursery fees clothes food toys for my daughter i maybe get out once a month if im lucky so hardly a fucking cow using my daughter for benefits!

  • karen bedford says:

    Please join the facebook groups child support agencies failings and others for support and advice as this is unfortunately common

  • Mike hunt says:

    Yes every father has a responsibility towards their children. I know it must be a struggle but if the father won’t pay you are going to have to stand on your own two feet. Maybe the father is also struggling financially with his new family. Unfortunately this is a problem with society nowadays. As a country we cannot afford to constantly hand out money in benefits. A little thought for the children involved would be good. Family planning would also be good. 16 is a little young to be mature enough to bring a child into the world with such an unstable relationship. When I was your age I wanted to be out having fun with my chums not getting tied down with children, and I wouldn’t of even contemplated bringing a child into the world out of wedlock..

    Alice? You’re not the ‘Alice CSA mole are you? Apologies if not..

  • Emma says:

    If you have nothing positive then dont say anything! Ive done a great job on my own bringing my daughter up on my own without his bloody help hes to busy having another 2 kids! I work flat out to give my daughter everything she wants and needs! You dont know me so dont tell me im immature when all i do is work and look after my daughter! I never go out never as i dont want or need to as i have my beautiful daughter to be with

    Yous all jump in and decide your own facts without even knowing the truth and judge !
    Yes i was 16 but i have done a good enough job just like any women would in there 20s so dont judga me when u havent met me or my daughter

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