Ex won’t let me pay direct so I have to pay CSA to take my money!

July 6, 2021

I have 2 daughters since feb one moved in with me so the csa had to work out the new payment both ways. they got back to me in 2 days told me what I had to pay. however it took 12 weeks to sort out what I was to receive which was 20 pound a month because she has aa zero hour contract and has been off for 12 month because of covid however I know she has been payed cash to help them out. she has refused to give me her back details so I can not pay her direct. I have told the csa this but they don’t want to know and have have started taking it direct out of my wages and they r charging me £35 a week for doing it. How do I stop them and only want a fair chance like she has but they seem to not care and have sided with her all the way. I did tell them they are a sexist organisation they disagreed but I have had every bit of proof I sent to show how she is been obstructive rejected anyone have any advise ????????????????


  • AngryDad says:

    You should use the CSA/CMS portal, report a Complaint and specifically ask to speak to a Senior Manager.

    “If you’re not satisfied with how the Child Maintenance Service deals with your complaint, ask for it to go to a senior manager and be looked at by the DWP Complaints team.”



    Every year I have to spend 3 months trying to convince them that my ex is lying to them, one year they had almost £5k of imaginary arrears and it took 3 months of me calling them and asking for a callback every time before I eventually got it sorted.

    This Year, £1,100 imaginary arrears (I had actually overpaid by ~£300) and even though they knew the fault was with their system they still asked her if she wanted to go Collect and Pay.

    I have just sent them a long message complaining about:


    1. Always ask her if she wants collect and pay before speaking to me.
    2. Even when I’ve provided evidence that there are no arrears they still ask her first… and then ask if she wants collect and pay anyway.


    1. Sometimes I’m not even contacted, whatever she says, they deem to be true.
    2. Letters are really unclear, never mention children living with me or the real level of shared care
    3. Letters have important information strewn over 11 pages, the important stuff should all be together on page 1 or 2.


    1. My income
    2. Where did you get this? (usually a 2 year old P60)
    3. Kids this claim is based on
    4. Level of shared care for each child (not just “We call this shared care”)
    5. Other children living with me not included in the case
    6. Formula or Calculation used to arrive at the amount you expect me to pay.

    My advice to anyone on Direct Pay:

    1. Pay by Bank Transfer if possible
    2. If cash payment, get a receipt
    3. Question any imaginary arrears

    If, like me, your complaints result in the same person speaking to you, keep insisting to speak to a Senior Manager.

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