Ex keeps moving jobs, CSA can’t keep up

November 17, 2011

Can someone help me here. The father of my child not only refuses to see her after me taking him to court to try and shame him into setting up access he also has not paid any maintenace now for 2 years. I went to my local MP as each time I rang the CSA I had a different case worker who took 2-12 weeks to look at my case. Needless to say this gave my ex-partner time to move around in the catering industry in Belfast.

He is currently employed in a restaurant on the Lisburn road and they are refusing to comply with the CSA. How far can the CSA go in getting some sort of payment from this man? Do they have powers against this company for being non-complient? Is there a way I can do it outside of the CSA as they are getting no where with him. Can I take him to court myself and have an order slapped on him? Is there a fine or jail time put in place if he refuses court order?

Please advise. I don’t want to crucify anyone, I just want him to take some responsibility. I’m doing more than my part for our daughter, I just need a little help!


  • Mick says:

    Have you ever heard the saying about leading a horse to water? You cant make him see his child if he wants nothing more to do with him/her. NRPs that flit from 1 job to another are a lot harder to tie down for maintenance than those in steady employment. The company that the NRP works for are not responsible for maintenance of your child, your ex is. The CSA have a lot more legal clout than you could ever hope for. It does sound like you are on a mission to get him the way your blog comes across. Putting him in jail isnt going to get any maintenance from him is it! The CSA should be able to find him from HMRC records for tax and his NI number. Keep on at them ( CSA ) is all i can suggest. There is one thing he could do if he wanted to completely give you the slip. Go and work over the border in Eire. The CSA has no juristriction there as he would be no longer resident in the UK. I hope for both you and your childs sake it doesnt come to that.

  • Terry norris says:

    Sounds to me like another case of these women who use their kids as money cows to subsidise their lifestyle…he left you,you left him…makes no difference, and if he don’t even want to see his kid ? Don’t that tell you what kinda man he is anyway..move on and be proud to bring your daughter up on your own.seems you happy to see him in jail…yer right…fat lot of help that’s gonna do you lol and by being happy to see him there tells me how little you like the guy….BUT you be happy to take his money

  • leigh says:

    Another shocking responce by a nrp!! If the dad deciedes to walk away why should he walk away from paying towards the child I really don’t understand why u would post something like that for unless your another dead beat dad!!

  • tom says:

    leigh………………..blah blah blah blah, obviously another dead beat dad is he!!!!
    The way you come across its more like you being another spiteful,vindicitve PWC that only see’s the father as money for a lazy lifestyle

  • leigh says:

    Good reply tom although it all bullshit! I work full time and do not have a lazy lifestyle funded by anyone although I do have payments off a nrp which I use for my child and no I have not stopped contact before u tar me with that brush again it took 3 years to finally get what my child deserved and am on cloud 9 today as the nrp disputed the dow order as was embarssed it was taken that way!! Well should have not run away. The dispute was lost

  • Nicola says:

    To those who took my post as wanting him to go to jail, that is not the case. I just thought maybe a threat would make him pay up. I’m not a cash cow either. I’m a parent who works and provides all for my child and am quite proud that I have done good so far on my own. I just feel very strongly that the other parent should take responsibility for their part. I can’t force him to see her as I have tried and failed, but I don’t see why he should walk away from paying maintenace either. To those who responded quite agrresively to my post….. take responsibility for your actions as you obviously are the same type of person as him. That’s about it really. If you make a child you should provide for that child. It’s not a war between me and my ex=partner, I haven’t seen nor heard from him in 2 years… The only contact he gets if from CSA and that’s how I’d like to keep it. I just want him to pay his maintenace so I have money I can put away for my daughters future. My money only covers bills and her immediate needs… So put that in your pipe and smoke it!

  • leigh says:

    I agree nicola all the men on here seem to think they are hard done by if they got to pay maintenance and they think that WE are all money grabbers! Keep chasing the csa that’s what I did to get a dow order set up then make sure you get it re assessed yearly so any payrises will show then they will do more if you email the complaints team on a regular basis

  • Mick says:

    Not ALL men Nicola. I paid my dues without question, and would have done so without interference from the CSA if my greedy ex hadnt been so keen to try to blackmail me into bankruptcy with the threat of the CSA at the time being hung over me. I was paying way more than i needed to and i knew it at the time, but she didnt think so. When i finally called her bluff and let her do it her way, she ended up worse off from the deal ( which i tried telling her at the time that she would, but as usual she thought she knew better ) so out of spite after the event she cut me off from seeing my child for over 3 years. I had the chance to bugger off abroad and start a new life and put all that shit behind me ( twice ) but i stayed and did the right thing despite having no contact with my daughter. My ex wife was a bone idle money grabber. She had the chance to better her situation but sat back and let me and the tax payer keep her because she would have been worse off seeking gainful employment. i.e loss of rent/council tax payments from the DWP/DSS or what ever they are called these days. I applaud the fact that you do work Leigh. Pity my ex wife never took a leaf out of your book.

  • Nicola says:

    To Mick, I didn’t mention men once in my post….
    As for your situation, I hope you get the matter of seeing your child resolved. Surely you can exercise your right as a father.. I do know however from experience how much it costs to go through the courts. I paid over the odds to go to court only for my ex partner not to make an apperance and it still cost me dearly between solicitors and court warrants as I was the applicant but it was well worth it. I can always say to my daughter that I tried my hardest to make things right.
    Try citizens advice and see if there is any way they can help you. I feel for you and many others in your boat. When I was at court it was mainly young men taking their ex-partners to court to see their children. I felt so sorry for them and wished my ex-partner would have had taken a leaf from their book. It IS wrong to stop a child from seeing the other parent because of a dispute. My parents sepreated when I was 8 and there was 6 of us. Never once were we not allowed to go and see him and it was our choice when we went to see him, which was everday after school lol… Good luck and all the best.

  • sally cumes says:

    why do you want to for ce a dad to see his child..ive been there and believe me spend the time on constructive things for you and you child instead of destructive and stress for you..lifes too short go and enjoy ..your children will remember all the nice happy things and a happy mummy instead of stressed reactive and moaning..really..the csa didnt have the clout ..my ex still playing silly games..but theres always the inland revenue..a lot of cash in hand work in the restaurant world my ex thec same..enjoy life with what you have..they are the ones to lose out on the best thing in the world..love and happiness .peace

  • sally cumes says:

    and i agree that they should have responsibility…but if they are not responsible enough to have concerns about their own flesh and blood why should everyone else waste their time trying to convince them..hold your head up very high and be very proud that you are doing so well..and that goes for single dads too..theres a lot of childish adults out there who cant take any responsibilty bar themselves!!

  • karen bedford says:

    Please join the facebook groups for advice and support child support agencies failings and others – this is what you need to do –

    complain in writing, send recorded deliver, keep diary and log of calls, etc.
    ask for special payments – compensation
    contact ICE Independent Case Examiner to complain about the CSA
    ask for a departure hearing – appeal tribunal
    find whatever info you can on him and then see if you can get the Criminal Compliance unit involved who work with the credit ref agencies.
    Does he have property? a director in a company, many bank accounts, etc.,
    Ask for advance payment – lump sum –
    Good luck, dont give up

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