Ex just laughed down the phone when I told her I couldn’t afford payments

March 7, 2013

My son 19 on the 04 June 13 and has been in college doing a BTEC level 3 Landscape course in order that his mother can claim benefits. Whilst in college i paid him £120 to keep the peace, although he had done nothing for two years since leaving school. I stopped paying him that money last month as his course finishes on 22 March 13. His mother has now decided in Feb 13 to claim CSA against me when:

1. He has 4 weeks left of his course.
2. Works over 24 hrs a week in the Ibis hotel.
3. Is 19 in three months.

I have phoned his college and found out that he rarely attends and will be lucky to pass the course, he will not attain the grades to continue on the next level, yet the CSA have said that if his mother continues to receive Child Benefit i will have to pay until he is 20 years of age. I have paid CSA to both my children for throughout the duration of their childhood, i stayed in the armed forces in order to be able to do that.

Once CSA stopped initially i chose to leave the armed forces and got a mortgage etc around that. I have spoken to the CSA who keep fobbing me off and calling my 6″ 4 17 stone son a child, they state that they can do nothing i will have to apy until he is 20.

I have rang the Child Benefit who state they will not do anything unless she cancels her benefit. There is no justice, when i spoke to her she just laughed down the phone. I have been divorced for 17 years.


  • we are having same problem with my husbands ex his daughter is 18 this august ,she had moved out of the mothers home and was working the mother got the daughter to move back in saying if she did she would give her all money recieved of us however she forgot to tell childbenifit that his daughter also workks full time and we are still making complaints my next move is to do a written fraudulante complaint to child benifit about this and send it registered post to them

  • Lisa says:

    Nam amd shame the spiteful bitch, thats all some women do is sit on there arses expecting the poor poor ex to.foot the bill for a.lavish lifestyle, how do we even know that the money is spent on.the kids and.not shoes handbags and nights out, maybe.these sainsburys cards that stipulate no booze and fags that they are using now might just make sure kids are fed,

  • Jo says:

    Do what we did, see your mp with all the info you have and get in touch with the child benefit fraud hotline, again with as much info as you can and keep on at it….he who laughs loudest and all that! Csa won’t do anything until cb stops or they get info regarding cb case. Good luck

  • Sally says:

    Hi Paul…. This is just one of the many issues I have with the CSA, they can contact your employer to find out what you earn etc and yet they can’t do the same to your son…. If they found out that he worked more than 24 hours then your ex’s claim wound not be valid and you could report her for benefit fraud but the CSA will tell you that due to data protection they cannot contact his employer!!

    If you knew your sons national insurance number you could contact inland revenue to see if they could provide you with any information… Or possibly ask a solicitor to write to Ibis requesting this information for legal reasons… Not sure if that would work but anything is worth a try… Good luck!!

  • wilf says:

    Sally:- Quite correct the only people they are allowed to investigate by law are the two adults involved ie the NRP and PWC.
    Which why they rely so heavily on if child benefit is in payment or not.
    They constantly tell NRPs to refer any possible fraud to the child benefit agency.

  • lisa says:

    If you were with your ex when the child was born your name will appear on the child benefit claim, so your well within your rights to ring and ask

  • carol says:

    sigh….and heres me thinking children turned into adults at 18.

    when a 19 year old ADULT is working, then a parent is no longer responsible for them. Will they edge this up until age 25, age 30?? or until a grown adult stops watching Hollyoaks, will be the deemed cut off point for child benefit….?

  • wilf says:

    Its all to do with unemployment figures.
    If child benefit is paid on their behalf they can not be included in the unemployment statistics.
    Hence the government is doing a good job as there are fewer unemployed young people!!!

  • lisa says:

    @ Carol, i know somebody who still made payments to his child till they were 27 because the CSA told him they would send him to prison if not, the funny thing was the so called child was a father himself and they were giving the payments to him, he drew the money out of the bank and gave it straight back to his dad

  • wilf says:

    Lisa:- Sounds like fabrication to me because the CSA would only pay arrears to the secretary of state or the PWC named on the case.
    The QC no matter how old is and never has been a client in the case.
    If he was a PWC in his own right receiving money through the CSA, then he would be giving his own child’s money to his father.

  • lisa says:

    The chap i was reffering to had told the CSA many times he didt owe the arrears they so claimed, he had proof and had sent proof to them still they ignored it, it wasnt to the SOS, The CSA told him they would carry on taking the money by DEO until arrears were paid because the case could not be closed until it was nil, The PWC had rang to tell them they still stated the same, she then gave them her sons bank details and it was arranged that because csa wouldt take the DEO off his wage leaving him with not a lot they would give him back the money he was unfairly having taken , it took a court to work out eventually that nothing was owed and he had overpaid, he didt so much as get an apology, a law unto themselves,

  • wilf says:

    lisa:- If the SofS was not owed why didn’t the PWC just declare all arrears paid and request case closure (if not already closed)?
    Did they know they weren’t her bank details?

  • lisa says:

    She had tried constantly calling them and telling them, all her pleas ignored, they knew they were the sons bank details because she said oh well best pay them to the lad now he has his own child, he needs the money more than me, the CSA had claimed arrears had not been paid back to 2001, and it actually wasnt the case, they didt look at receipts that had been sent, The case officer who looked back at the file said the case should have been closed years ago, but didt understand why and nobody took accountablility,

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