Ex won’t take calls and CSA bankrupting me!

October 15, 2021

I split from my ex over 3 years ago, and have been paying £300 a month for my 3 kids. I walked away from the majority of the property we shared, taking a £12k payment off her and giving her and my kids the remaining £210k.

She has now sold the house and moved into a new property (£250k). My ex has never asked for any more money from me, but I’ve just had a letter from CMS saying they have now put in place an order to take the money straight from my employer. I live in a rented property with my new partner, and we hoped at some point we’d be able to save up enough to buy our own house, I doubt this is going to happen now.

The order (with the 20% I have to pay them) works out to just short of £600 per month. I don’t know how I’m going to cope, this will leave me with about £100 a week for food. My ex will only allow me to have my kids fri-sun every other weekend. I’ve asked her if she will accept direct pay again, but she is now ignoring my messages, so looks like I will have to just accept the 20% fee they charge me.

I’d rather my kids had this money, and happy to consider paying more, but how the hell and I going to live????? I’ve got to speak to CMS on Monday, but I’m not too hopeful

CSA helped my family turn my child against me!

October 11, 2021

This is a long horrible story. But I can safely say the csa and my family have played a part in ruining my relationship with my child.

Now the basics.

My sister has always had an inappropriate relationship with my daughter. By inappropriate I do not mean sexual. But she and my mum have a history of sending her inappropriate texts, encouraging deceitful behaviour, belittling myself undermining me and generally making it difficult for me to be a parent. The police have been informed but as there is no evidence of physical damage they won’t get involved. This is not the first inappropriate relationship she has had with kids not her own. My mother does nothing and supports this behaviour. Basically it’s psychological grooming. The police do nothing as its speculation. I wasn’t really aware of the extent of this until it was too late.

My daughters mother died 8 years ago-long story

Now at the start of lockdown as a keyworker I sent her to my mums 15 Miles from where I lived. I knew I would be in danger of getting covid and I did. It took me 3 months to recover. There was little contact from my child in this time but I knew she was safe though I never liked what was going on.

When she came back she told me she intended to leave school and live with my sister. She had just passed all her nationals. She’s a smart kid. What followed was months of arguments and lies from her. The house was a war zone. At no stage was there any communication with my mum or sister. I don’t have their numbers or my sisters address. They never contacted me at any stage. Eventually my daughter went through . She had changed completely. I was against this. She was doing all the wrong things but as she was 16 I was powerless.

A few weeks later the call from the csa came. They never said who they were. So I hung up. They asked for personal details and Eventually asked for money I couldn’t afford. When I explained this they said “of course you can”.

Basically I have had to sell my house, change my job, move further away and have seen my kid twice in a year. As her only blood parent I was told I have no rights while my mum and sister have psychologically groomed her.