Can my partner get help?

September 30, 2019

Hi I wonder if any of you could help me with my enquiry. My partner split with his ex wife 12 years ago, in 2011 a judge ordered him to pay a regular maintenance amount and he has paid it fully and every month via standing order to her bank account He also pays for school shoes, school trips (£1000 for his son to go to Valencia and the football ground in April) and other things she says they need etc.He has his children from Friday after they finish school until sunday evening every other weekend like what was arranged in court,he has done this without exception unless due to illness, his dads death or an accident/emergency with his elderly mother.


He has done both pick ups and drop offs for the past 10 years she has done maybe 2 or three drop offs. He didn’t mind doing this because at the time of agreement she wasn’t driving and he was only living 20 mins down the road from her and only an hour and 20 mins drive from work every other Friday to hers to pick them up. So that was all good and it has worked amicably for all this time. She now drives and has done for past 2 years, is remarried, with 2 new children (toddler age), well about 5 months ago they moved roughly half an hour away from where they were living (due to cheaper rent cost and more work for him) this wasn’t a problem (more a bit of a pain in the bum) for my other half as them moving now added on the extra half hour drive to the hour and 20 min drive he already doing from work every other Friday to collect them. He continued to do the driving as normal, any how it came about that we got opportunity to move closer to my disabled daughters (not his child) special needs school plus bigger house but downside higher rent, never mind.


This however meant that my partner also had to change jobs due to needing to earn more to pay towards the cost of the rent, this job however is a 2 hour 50 mins drive away from her house (and that’s on a good Dartford tunnel Friday!!). He decided to call her (because they have been able to talk amicably about the kids welfare etc) and explain that now the ‘his driving to pick up’ every Friday situation has changed quite dramatically would she come and collect the children from our new house one Sunday a month. He will still do the 5+ hour return journey from hers to ours but can she help out and return the favour (one Sunday a month isn’t even asking to split it fairly halfway) Her reply was a complete NO. No thought, no fairness just a No I’m not driving that far

I have 50% shared care, but the CSA won’t listen

September 25, 2019

I have been sperated from my children’s mother for 5 years. It was for the best part amicable but recently the relationship completely broke down and she stop contact with the children. Solicitors were involved and we are now back to a 50% shared care arrangement. 5 days on 5 off arranged around the children’s mother’s shift pattern. She involved the CSA when access was denied but we are back to a 50% shared care arrangement.


The CSA will not listen to me and I have to appeal their decision that I am still required to pay even though I still have a 50% responsibility on all the financials surrounding the children. I have just started to compile evidence but they have said that because I do not receive the child benifit payments I won’t win any appeal. I have also applied for the child benifit to be split 50% but that could take several months and I do not know if I will be successful. If anyone has any advice on this kind of situation I would be extremely grateful. Unbelievable stressful dealing with the agency.

I’m entering a 4th year of hell with the Child Maintenance Service

September 23, 2019

So, back in 2015 I contacted the child maintenance service for the first time. All seemed well and good. They got things moving pretty quickly, payments weren’t accurate, but I half expected this as my ex husband was being very awkward and worked offshore as a self employed contractor. However, he pulled a good wage through his bank and it was all there in black & white so I didn’t feel too worried things would be inaccurate for long. Boy was I wrong! My ex husband started diverting his income, claiming he was earning £8000 per annum! He was earning this for 3 weeks work! I was straight on it, made the CMS aware of what was going on and they agreed to help me look into things. Put in me in touch with one of the HMRC investigators. Perfect! My £39 per week payments for 2 children should increase soon. Fantastic. Obviously this did not happen.

With a £650 per month mortgage to pay (with no income as I had a always been at stay at home mum, my ex husbands job didn’t allow for this really)

CSA problem as two children living with me don’t have enough

September 20, 2019

I have 3 kids 2 live with me and my new partner and I have my 3 child with my ex that we broke up after 4 years with her always cheating on me and I have agreed to pay like 30 pound a week cuz that is all I can afford on top of bills and my other children and csa take of about 60 70 pound off my wages which leaves me with nothing for my other 2 kids and they don’t seem to care anyone no what to do

CSA have disclosed my full financial income to the other parent

September 11, 2019

Hello, I’m a paying parent in full time employment.

It seems that the csa have disclosed my full financial income to the other parent. Is this not a breach of privacy or private information? I would never of consented to this information being shared and feel totally exploited now. Also the whole thing is ruining the relationship with my step son as the csa system totally disregards him and everything I’ve done and continue to do for both the kids, not just my biological one.

CSA are giving me a headache!

September 2, 2019

I have had an ordeal of paying mutual payments – never missed a payment as don’t refuse that it’s my duty to. Pay toward care to the parent with overall day to day care.
Then the CSA was instigated and had an absolute head ache – went to court for a court order to have the number of nights set out to reduce the payments – courts are very much on the parents with care side too, wouldn’t wish this on anyone!