The system is flawed as absent father gets away without paying while I lose benefits

May 27, 2018

I have a question about CSA that I dont seem to have had any answers on so wondered if you can help?

We live in a world promoting equal rights and fighting against discrimination but I feel the CSA allow discrimination and no equal rights.

I will give myself as an example but I am one of many of thousands of lone parents in this situation.

I left my husband 9yrs ago because of domestic abuse which ended up having a severe effect on my health, I was left with depression, anxiety and severe high blood pressure. I became a single parent with 3 young children, I was unable to work because of my illnesses so ended up in the first time of my life on benefits. I done what most single parents end up doing and went to CSA to get money from my estranged husband for my children. Like many absent parents he refused to pay, CSA took years to eventually get a deductions of earnings from him as he refused to respond to their letters/phone calls, eventually they went to his employer and took a deductions of earnings order out on him, by then I had got into debt from borrowing money to make ends meet, he owed me over £3000 in CSA arrears and he was assessed at paying me (cant really remember the full figures as it was quite a few years ago now) but was assessed to pay around £280 a month CSA for his 3 children and a further £40 a month towards the £3000 CSA arrears.

I was over the moon as it meant I could now pay my rent, bills and put food on the table for my children. Well this only lasted a few months and he gave up his job and told CSA he was being supported by his partner and did not need to work so CSA payments stopped. It was all lies as he started working cash in hand and not registering as self employed and not declaring it to HMRC so he could get away without paying CSA and that was the end of my CSA case, he is assessed every year at zero and not told to pay any of the £3000 arrears.

This left me in a terrible financial mess living on arrears for years. Recently I met my new partner after being on my own for years and we have discussed moving in together and now this is where I see discrimination and no equal rights. I found out the moment I move in with my partner I loose my ESA sickness benefit, my tax credits and even my child benefit gets reduced as my partner earns £50k a year. Now you may be thinking to yourselves wow your partner earns £50k a year which is plenty for you all to live on. My partner has his own depts to pay and if he took me and my 3 children on he would then have all the rent, bills to pay, pay for my children, put food on the table and pay my debts. Yet if I move in with him in the eyes of CSA and benefits he then becomes financially liable to pay for me and my children but in the eyes of the courts he has not rights over my children ie he cant change their surnames to his, the childrens father is still in control of all the legal issues in their lives etc etc.

So looking at all that why is it that the absent parent (my now ex husband, the father of my children) can walk out on his children, refuse to pay CSA (because he says he is not working) move in with another women yet CSA dont then say that because he is living with his partner that his partner should be financially responsible for his children and they dont go to his partner demanding CSA money for his children yet the parent with care who finds a partner their partner is suddenly financially responsible for the children and the parent with care looses all their benefits. Surely is this not discrimination and not equal rights?? Has anyone ever looked into this or raised it or tried to fight it at court or with the government as this to me is a very big and unfair situation. I would love it if people would get together and challenge the government on this. What do you think or am I missing something??

Ex wife turned me in to CMS as she’s jealous that I treat our children

May 18, 2018

My children are very much a part of my everyday life one living with her boyfriend for the past 12 months who’s 18, the other living with his Mum who will be 15 in July, my son spends every weekend with me because it’s boring at his Mums as she won’t do anything with him, my daughter comes to stay with me every other weekend even tho she has a home of her own, we have an extremely strong bond and relationship, I spoil my kids rotten and give them daily support through paying for many things from school dinners to holiday for my kids, I have bank transactions for the past 3.5 years totalling 17k worth of payments towards their daily needs, this is excluding cash handed over for any reason from £50 per week upwards, I have only recently heard that the CMS had removed £2700 from my bank and frozen my account because my ex wife has made a claim against me, I discovered this by trying to transfer money in to my daughters account because she wanted a night out, upon trying I discovered I was broke and why I was broke, after sending everything the CMS requested from me, they inform me it’s not good enough and they won’t accept my bank statements or statement from my daughter as evidence that I support my kids, because my bank statements do not say CHILD MAINTANENCE in them and the 17 grand I’ve spent are gifts not support,, THIS has put my children in the most difficult position right be tween myself and their Mum, It’s a personal grudge their mum has towards me and I also have transcripts of messages from my ex wife to my self calling me fit to burn because I am silly with my kids and I spoil them rotten, But she tells the CMS a different story, she told the I don’t support my kids financially and I don’t see them or have anything to do with them.

No matter which way I provide evidence they ask for, because it doesn’t say those immortal words, CHILD MAINTENENCE they wont accept it, but can I ask, HOW MANY present fathers or mothers get a receipt from their kids every time they hand over cash to them,?

How many when transferring money via bank transfer use that wording they require, My kids are in my life every day and I have not once in their life told them NO as a direct result of them asking me for anything, their Mum is extremely jealous of how much they get from me personally and wants me to stop giving them direct the way I always have done, and she wants me to support her cocaine addiction through paying her direct, thus meaning my kids won’t get a single penny from her, I point blank refuse to give her money and will continue to be the best dad I can towards my kids, The CMS is the biggest best idea this government has ever had for those scum bag fathers who don’t support their kids, But my case is complex and different of the daily cases they investigate, although I am treated exactly the same, they should deal with things on a personal basis not the black and white they currently look in to, Only victim of my particular case is my kids mental health in GCSE years too, Promotion of the well bein of children should be the way forward not screwing them completly up.

I will appeal against the money they stole from me by way of obtaining money by deception with the lies my ex wife told them, but I feel I won’t win against this organisation, my ex wife is NOT my responsibility, MY KIDS ARE.


Greedy CSA take extra payments despite private arrangement with ex

May 17, 2018

So I was told my payments were getting moved to collect and pay I asked why and they said I owed a lot of money to my knowledge I owed none, they stated my arrears was £190 and because I didn’t set a standing order directly to them they added collect and pay charges on which no one informed me of I paid direct to my daughters useless mother now they have added a total of £600 charges to my account.

They are taking £240 a month from my wages and won’t stop it this child clmaintenance is a joke and won’t even help me sort this out they have made me quit my job now I have no way to support my 2 other children at home because of their greed.

Wealthy ex determined to make me bankrupt through CSA

May 16, 2018

My ex earns four times more than me now £60k after my financial downfall and I earn £19k to live.

I’ve paid a private agreement for 8 years. I paid originally 4 times the amount but I don’t earn that salary now! She remarried to a wealthy husband but now she wants to crucify me through the child agency which I can’t affor. It’s for dam ski trips etc which I don’t have a say in. I want my children to enjoy but my ex seems adamant to make me bankrupt or give up work which I don’t want to do.

CSA won’t reply to me so they can get more money

May 15, 2018

Well not much really just started.. I can go that they have ignored all my letters especially the complaint letter that I have sent them. The thing is that they are trying/my ex is trying to make me pay into a non residing parent, someone that dont live with my ex or my child for that matter now I did send a letter of complaint thinking something can be resolved but to my dismay they ignored all my letters especially asking for a regulation that they can make me pay into a druggies account to feed her fix.

Anyway they sent me a letter of collect and pay on the 26th April 2018 and because of this I have wrote to my mp to discuss why have they ignored all my letters. In my opinion for a matter like this I hate how they have stressed me out that even my work has started to notice it. I’m just waiting for the letter that they are gonna demand a deduction of earnings from me without even answering my letters. They are so corrupt that they wouldn’t even let me be amicable. It’s a shambles and a total disgrace as how low some people will go…

HMRC confirmed my ex’s lies to CSA

May 14, 2018

My ex was not being truthful about his income and only declaring £800 a month as he is self employed. So he was hiving me £15 a week. I called the CSA who checked HMRC which showed even less for some reason £68 a week so they put the amount down to £7 a week. Why HMRC is showing this amount I don’t know as I used to do his admin and he definitely was declaring £800 a month. I sent them a bank statement for an account you can only have if you pay in £1700 a month. The mortgage statement showing his current mortgage is £452 a month. And the latest tax credits declaration where he declares (to HMRC!) that he earns more than £68 a week.

But they said this is not enough evidence! So I’m not sure what else there is that anyone could get. They also told me at each stage that they will write to him asking for evidence of his income but of he doesn’t provide it (who Would???) Then there is nothing they can do. He has now taken on 130k further borrowing on the 5 bedrooms house, bought a new car and is apparently going to buy another one which makes 3 on total. All the while I am struggling on tax credits and part time work and expected to provide everything for my son as he puts it I get the child benefit!

Parents who withhold children from the other parent should NOT receive CSA payments

May 13, 2018

I am a father and I have had my child taken away by his mother and filed for CSA whilst I was offering to take care of my lad.

Now I dont particularly agree with the website, Because, Whilst I didnt agree with having to pay CSA when I was offering to pay for my childs needs and provide for him whilst taking his mother to court (to which I was sucesfull at obtaining a 50/50 and eventually a living with order to live with my self).

The problem is the father (as much as a mother) and visaversa, have Parental RESPONSIBILITY for the child.

It is never the childs fault, that a parent chooses to take the child from the other or a parent walks out on the family (be it due to an affair or be it because the relationship just became unbarable).

To the child, they are innocent in all of this and depend on adults to provide for them into adulthood in order to survive.

I feel that absent parents who decide to have no contact with the child, should pay CSA. As the child does need a quality of life and is entitled to the quality of life he or she would have had in an ideal home that he or she was born into.

However, with that being said, I do not agree with incidents in where parents purposely withold a child (where there are no safeguarding concerns or welfare concerns) in order to be eligible for CSA.

Not only is it child abuse, given the child isnt able to have contact with a loving parent, it can have negative and emotional impact thru out a childs life late into adulthood, even long after the parents pass away.

I would like to see a system that is more thorough and scrutanises what is really going on, sadly CSA state thats for the courts to decide not them, and thats a lengthy process.

But well worth while doing if there was a system that stated, should it be found in the family courts that a parent is not a risk to the child in any way shape or form and the child has been witheld unlawfully from the other parent or without reason, then all the litigation costs and half the CSA should be paid back (Yes, the child still needs to be provided for in the period the malicious parent held the child from the loving parent, but equally the parent has lost time with the child that can never be recovered) thus this would be a penalty payment / fine.

I feel this would deter parents playing god with children and using a system designed to help vulnerable or poor parents provide for children whilst a parent has become absent

CSA accusing me and my brother of being fathers to a child from an escort

May 11, 2018

I met a lady from a sex website over 13 years ago. She located my brother on Facebook 9 years later and accused him of being the father of her child. DNA test proved otherwise. They then pursued me, even though I look nothing like my brother. A detachment from my earnings of 520 pounds per month was then just taken without warning. I’m married and have just as accepted it, as I don’t want it to ruin my marriage. Please help.

My husband has been taken to CSA despite always paying his ex

May 1, 2018

my Husbands ex who he has a child with has taken him to csa even though he was paying for the child by monthly direct debit payments, has has not seen the child for a long time, he does want to but the problems that come with the mother is just not worth it, we have had to change his mobile number several times but she still manages to get hold of this and basically terrorises my partner and myself with abuse, she is now stating that she wants full custody and wants to change the childs surname to hers and not my partners, does this mean he will still have to pay CSA money for her, even though he does not see her and the mother is a nightmare, please can i get some feed back from anyone or even some advise, many thanks.

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