My ex’s lies have left me with a massive debt

March 31, 2014

CSA say i owe 45000in arrears because my ex lied to claim one parent benefits when we were living together, . my son is nearly 22 and they have done an attachment of earnings to take 175.00 a week.

I have tried everything i can to get csa to listen to me but the take mothers side. they told me that from 92 my partner at the time claimed that we lived together but wasnt a couple so apparently in 93 they came onto me for csa this was calculated at the highest rate, i didnt no anything about this untill 98/99 when we finally seperated an made attachment for 160 a wk from my wages sum of which was for arrears they said i owed.

I tried to dispute that i never recieved letters from them i have had a long battle and at my wits end my health as deteriated due to the pressure i am under.

I have a 12 yr old girl with my new wife and we are struggling my marriage as virtually ended because of the stress, i need to get this sorted.

How can they force me to pay when i lived in the same house as my partner and son and paid bills and provided for them both, we even shared the same bed and had sexual relations, we used to socialise with our neighbours and friends and these people have said they are willing to provide statements that we lived very much as a normal couple/family but csa said its not proof .

When we finally split she gave melittle contact and turned my son against me, he is 21 now and refuses to see me.

She had numerous boyfriends living with her whilst on benefits and now has a job and claims tax credits as a single person.

I opened a business in 2004 my exs idea was because we always rowed when in contact she suggested she would send my son for her money every week. then suddenly i get csa letters saying she stated i had never paid so they added on more arrear, then she changes it and says yes he did pay but paid it to son as pocket money obviously she knew the system.

Can i take her to court or something for her lies?

I cannot carry on like this i have had nothing but stress and hassle from the csa for 16 years, i am quite willing to pay money i genuingly owe but not for the periods my ex lied about. but upto now i cannot get any one to force the csa to admit u cant make a man pay when he was living in the same house.

Will I be forced to pay my partner’s CSA?

March 31, 2014

Hi everyone. My partner has been paying the csa for 3 years now (and also arrears that were a lie… he paid cash for 2 years so she is also getting this).

Now he is leaving his job as he only earns around 4.00 an hour after the csa have taken their chunk.

If i support him (for now until he gets on his feet with his own business). can someone tells me what happens with the csa please.

Will I be forced to pay it (we wont be claiming benefits). We will pay something but not what ‘she’ is expecting.

I pay our mortgage and the house is in both names (although I have a trust of deed stating his share is mine as I paid off some arrears that ‘she’ made).

I don’t want a charge on the house. Is this dooable? Any advice greatly appreciated.

The change is school leaving age has screwed us up

March 31, 2014

My fiancé and I want to get married this year. We have no dependent children of mine or his living with us. He has a 2010 child maintenance court consent order which told him to stop paying for his son on his 16th birthday (she kept the mortgage free marital home in exchange for this – it was her idea as she couldn’t raise his 50% of the value of the home – he agreed to this) its all in the consent order. His son was 16 in June 2013.

That year the school leaving age was raised and she took him to the csa. The csa have said that child maintenance orders can be revisited after the first year and arnt worth the paper they’re written on. This is because the law changed in 2003 allowing this.

His divorce lawyer maintains they were not aware of this and that they can’t see into the future with the governments plans to raise school leaving age.

As a result the csa have overturned the court order and are demanding £82 a week. We want to get married – we are trying to start over and find somewhere to afford to buy as well as honour all our other existing financial commitments.

I work 28 hours a week and qualify to draw down an age 55 private pension this year. We can’t afford for my income to also be taken into consideration and she takes my money as well.

So my questions are:

1. are my income and savings ringfenced and out of bounds should we marry and

2. Why could the CSA overturn the consent order because the government changed school leaving age but not take into consideration the fact that she got the house and its value and

3. how can we get information on the college his son is enrolled at and his attendance and exam records (he has been homeschooled since 11 and has just enrolled at a college but we don’t know if he goes or has ever done any exams).

We cannot get information from the resident parent or child as there is no contact and its totally hostile on their part despite him trying. The csa have this info and have verified he is the father to their satisfaction but say that the DPA prevents them sharing this information with him. and

4. what age is support capped at since school leaving age was capped?

I’m so sorry that this is long but I’ve been unable to get definitive answers from both our online research and the CAB.

Lastly he has just returned from work after back operations and the csa still took more money than his ssp which isn’t being returned. They said he had to file a change of circs which he did and its now been adjusted. But they knew in advance when he wasn’t going to be paid and they still took double his ssp.

I’ll stop venting now. Thank you for your patience. I hope to at least hear back that we are able to get married and that my income is safe so that we have money to live on.

What will they do when my partner becomes self-employed?

March 30, 2014

My partner is leaving his £50K per year job to start own business – accountant says he will be earning £7500 in first year. My partner has been paying for his 2 boys for 9 years and sees them regularly.

What happens when he calls CSA to explain the situation?

He has told his ex who was all very understanding about it but that means nothing…

Any advice on how to approach situation or your experiences would be appreciated and thank you.

Do we have a right to stop payments?

March 30, 2014

Ok so where do I start my husband pays £200 a month for his son to his ex partner , we know that it’s impossible for her to spend all of this on the child and have proof she spends it on herself.

She’s buys herself boots and clothes and uses the Money for nights out. She doesn’t work so all rent etc is paid for her , do we have the right to stop Payments ?

Also we have my step son 3 days a week so these Payments Seam very high , as his mother only feeds him for his tea on the other 4 nights , we supply his uniform for school so that doesn’t come out of csa Help ! Please just help!

She’s currently demanding more money as she believes that she needs more. I have a child with my Husband that csa don’t take in to account …

I think my son may have been adopted

March 30, 2014

I believe there may be a chance that my son who I haven’t had contact with for many years may have been adopted.

I also believe that in recent years she has got married and living with this person.

Is there anyway to find this out regarding adoption and therefore if so is there any legal responsibility for me to pay maintenance?

The CSA are saying that any arrears will not be paid to her

March 29, 2014

This is for a female friend. She has been separated for two years, and five months ago decided to involve the csa due to her ex only paying £150 per month for their 3 children of 9, 10 & 15.

She is paying the mortgage. She has not had the full amount set by the csa since the amount was set, the csa are telling her that arrears over three months old will not be paid.

Is this the correct information from the csa?

Thanks in advance for any help.

I have been through hell and back but to her this is just a game

March 29, 2014

Hi I’m a 43yr old male, I am the main carer of my 2 girls ages 7&8yrs. I have them 7 days per week but overnight stays are 4 nights per week and work 3 days.

I don’t receive any child benefit my ex wife still gets that and forms part of the agreement we have.

I met this woman from hell after my divorce and lied to me about being on the pill and as a result become pregnant. She done her best to shake me off and get rid of me and eventually couldn’t take her emotional abuse anymore.

She cut off all ties with me but I tried to keep I’m contact as told her I want to help and support her but ignored all my letters which I sent signed for delivery. I had to instruct a solicitor to act for me and ended up paying £93 per month to legal aid which I couldn’t really afford.

She refused a DNA test in court and wouldn’t let me see the little boy. I finally got to meet him at a contact centre when he was 13 months old. Still no DNA test, Csa refused me a test and put a deduction of earnings order on me, I’m not on the birth cert either and on low income and get tax credit.

The Csa won’t recognise my 2 girls live with me as I’m not claiming the child benefit but are happy to include my child tax credit I get for them to give to my criminal ex girlfriend who is a benefits cheat and doesn’t work.

I don’t know what to do I am left with not enough money to live on and my children that live with me are going to suffer. All I wanted was to have DNA test to see if he was my son and give the support to my son that he needs but my ex is only in it for the money and won’t co-operate in any way, I have been through hell and back with all this and to her this is just a game.

Surely this can’t be right?

March 29, 2014

My child is 4 yrs old, since his birth his mom has kept of his birth certificate, kept me out of contact and yet still claims csa.

Shes had his name changed to match her bfs and her other sons. they have moved him about n make it impossible for me to see him.

I am being chased by the csa and they are saying i owe them in eccess of 3,000 surely this isnt right? im at the end of my tether to be honest. someone help me?

The CSA’s incompetence made me look like a bad dad

March 28, 2014

When my x wife and I divorced we agreed on an amount but when I changed jobs she thought I wasn’t paying her so she want to csa I am now paying £40 p/w £117 p/m which I never disputed.

My problem is when ever I am on the phone to them they make me out to be a horrible person and saying things like even if her new husband was a million air she would still get the money.

I also changed bank accounts and gave them three weeks notice so they had plenty time to ajust payments but I found out they made a mistake and couldn’t pay my x wife so now I am having to pay areers due to there incompitance.

Why is it dads are made out to be the bad ones all the time? HELP!

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