Can my partner get help with his costs?

April 17, 2019

I will defend myself first because it seems I need to. My partner is in the army and his now ex took his three children and moved 280 miles away, and admited it was to make sure ‘you never see my kids again’. To see the kids he pays £240 in fuel alone to have them friday night to sunday lunch time as they are in school. She refused contact when he took the children to his grandmothers where they all had beds as the barracks he lived on wouldn’t be able to supply him welfare housing for just a weekend, he would have had to pay for the full month and even then they usually didn’t have one free. So we have compressed our money as much as possible and bought a house, the only way to afford it was with a government scheme so this meant it had to be where we are currently as it was a Scottish Government scheme. All my money goes to the running of a house with 4 bedrooms and I have had to sell my car and walk 20 miles(40 in total) to work each day because we can only afford his car to go and get the kids. Please note my car was a peugeot 208 06 plate – not very expensive. He pays pennies off of £500 a month in CSA – again defending myself I was a child of split parents but my father didn’t want to see me and he never paid. My partner thinks the world of his kids, he wants to speak to them every day, know how their day was and how school and their friends are. He wants to teach his son to ride his bike. But in the last two months she has refused to let him call because he cannot come and get them, because he is deployed. She is now with a new partner and has even text bragging about all her money because he has bought her a new car and done up the kitchen etc. and that is fine it is her life but I don’t see anything wrong in us asking for a reducation in costs to see the kids that we love. I just do not know how to go about asking if we can get help, I believe a father is important to a child life, I don’t care if mum and dad can’t stand each other. The kids loose out. They loose out on a loving father.

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