All parents should pay to support their children

November 26, 2010

For over ten years I have brought up my two children single-handedly. I, like many other single parents have struggled to provide my children with a normal childhood.

A normal childhood I feel is one where the children are happy, safe and provided for financially. We have a relatively good life now, I work full time to provide us with a decent income which in turn pays the mortgage and provides for us as a family.

For eight of these ten years the children’s father has evaded his parental responsibility at a ratio of 99.9%. The children receive a phone call on their birthday and a card with £20 in it. Usually there are a couple of empty promises for instance “hope to see you soon” or “tried to contact you on Facebook but it didn’t work” or “we’ll catch up at Christmas”. They saw him for four hours one Christmas in 2008, his new wife kept ringing him to see when he would be back because she wanted to order them a take-away (his third wife). Both children have had their own phones for eight years as-well as a home phone, one child has been rung three times, the other at least twice.

They have learnt to detach themselves from the endless empty promises over the years and surrounded themselves with fantastic male role models. They are both very sociable and enjoy many team sports, none which their Father has seen, he refers to a sport which they did seven years ago when he phones on their birthday. They tell him every year which sports they do now but he never listens.

For the past five years I have been writing to my M.P. in the hope that he might take an interest in my case. It isn’t just my case either. This situation affects millions of families throughout the UK. If an absent parent (male or female) does not want to contribute towards the children they have created they do not have to. I’m sure many of your readers believe that there is a court system or an agency to deal with this sort of thing. There is absolutely no governing body in this country for children who are abandoned by a parent.

If a parent does not want to see or finance a child all they have to do is sign into the UK benefit system. It doesn’t really matter which benefit but as long as they put their name to it, it is an instant protection against any legal action or Government power. If you believe the absent parent is working cash in hand then do not waste your time telling the Inland Revenue or the Department of Work and Pensions they are not interested. These people are small fry to them, you could tell them the time the absent parent leaves for work every morning or you could phone their home and be told by family members that they’re at work. None of it matters to our Government. They would rather ignore all the twaddle and just pay you the odd £5.00 a week out of their benefit system, if you are lucky enough. It’s a sort of “That’ll keep him/her quiet” attitude. “At least you are getting something” I was once told.

When your absent parent signs into the benefit system at their local Job Centre there is no immediate alert that this parent is evading Child Support. The Child Support Agency is part of the Department of Work and Pensions which amazingly directs the Job Centre. They will completely deny the connection over the phone however their letters to myself are headed with two of these titles as recently as two months ago. It currently takes around 6 weeks to process a benefit claim which results in back pay for the claimant. When this back payment is made by cheque to the absent parent it has no deduction of Child support. For recent claimants you will be aware that after 12 weeks your payments may cease, if you haven’t actively sought work. This means that your children may receive £30.00 for the last 6 weeks of your claim. The Government are therefore rewarding the evasive parent with six weeks grace of their benefit claim. Any parent that can raise two children for six !
weeks on £30.00 step forward! I’d be in awe.

There is of course a much easier route, make all parents support their children! Our benefit system was designed as an income support for the short term unemployed and for people that were genuinely suffering hardship. Not for people to build their lives around it. I do not want my children to receive any handouts from the state. I would like their Father to be made to work legally and meet his financial responsibilities.

Should evasive parents find that they cannot work legally or through persistent laziness, then perhaps paid Community Service with a direct weekly deduction to support their children’s upbringing! Why are these evasive parents being completely ignored by the state and protected? There are many absent parents that start new families, or two new families, do you think this would be an option if they had to pay for all these children they create?

The enforcement measures that the Government put in place to tackle persistent non-payers has absolutely no power against our benefit system. Confiscating their passports will reduce their right to seek work outside of England, take their Driving Licence and you reduce the type of work they can look for, send the bailiffs in, you might as well they can’t take anything whilst they’re in receipt of benefit. Put them in prison-you can’t do that either, not while they are job-seeking. They can job seek for how ever many years they like. After a while your benefit payments are stopped, that doesn’t really matter if you are working cash in hand. You are still signed into the system and protected even though you are not directly receiving payment.

Millions of families are facing this cruel fate brought on by the most selfish act of one person. Our government are protecting these people and aiding them in their preferred lifestyle. There are many single parents who have chosen to provide and protect their children from the fate that another parent has decided, mainly because we would like our children to play a decent future role in society. Does the government recognise these children or their parents?

In a fair United Kingdom any parent who chooses to create a child then abandon them financially and emotionally would be brought to justice. After all it is a form of abuse. As for our ever accepting benefit system, if you are signed into the system but are no longer receiving payments then we should be questioning how you are living. Living off a spouse and his/her benefits is not financially possible on the amounts the Government are publicising, or is it? I wouldn’t know I work to support my children.

If anyone from the legal profession can offer a solution to this situation that affects so many families then please let us know.

Comments

  • CSAhell.com says:

    Michael – no posts have been deleted from this thread – though we're tempted by some people's comments. When posting comments, try to post them all in one comment – rather than keep posting random strains of thought one after the other. It looks like some people are just conversing with themselves.

  • Allan Morrell says:

    Pauline….. I know myself, I know who I am and what I stand for!!!!!! I have compassion for reasonable PWC' I have no compassion for unreasonable PWC's!!!!! Clearly contempt for unreasonable PWC's… both can and do exist side by side… adelbrots Chaos and order theories conclude that… the universe and the solar system concludes that with devastating and constructive power!!!!!!!!

  • Melanie Jane Newman says:

    Oooooo i wonder to whom the site administrator could be referring LOL! 😀

  • Allan Morrell says:

    Mandelbrot's…. I didnt quite press the M… for Mandelbrots chaos and order theories!!!!!!!

  • Allan Morrell says:

    yes… I'm a planet watcher…lol

  • Allan Morrell says:

    Pauline.. I fear nothing more than fear itself!!!!!

  • Sarah-Jayne Pattimore says:

    Wow! Just came for a nosy following a notification. Not been on for a few days following giving birth to a beautiful baby girl last Friday. So Allan, I can confirm, I am no longer 'sitting on my fat arse' as you have referred to me several times! Glad I nipped back tho – nice to see your pathetic postings are bringing the truth out about you!!

  • Pauline Brown says:

    The darkness Alan, which resides in you that is what i was referring to, open to interpretation with an intelligent mind. If you believe you can be a compassionate person but cannot show compassion to those that are against you or to others who are wicked, then you truly do not understand. Stay angry Alan it suits you like a second skin 🙂 LMAO

  • Allan Morrell says:

    SJP… congratulations….Please provide where I make reference to FAT arse….. your comment that you were sat on your fat arse… shall I copy and paste for you???????

  • Allan Morrell says:

    there is no darkness resident within me…LMAO!!!! purely a result of your speculations!!!!!!!

  • Allan Morrell says:

    I choose to like or dislike where appropriate!!!!!

  • Allan Morrell says:

    My response SJP….. sounds about right!!!!!! My comment in reply to you claiming you were on maternity leave expecting NRP to fund you for sitting on your (in your own words..FAT) arse!!!!!!

  • Pauline Brown says:

    That statement regardless of the source is applicable in life, this life as you laugh, you will always come across as angry and bitter, fearful ( as it seems you know no other way to be) and conceited, vile and inhumane, that is the picture i get, so if you know yourself so well. Changing your behaviour would mean you would have to address your attitude problem. How do you expect people to be compasionate to you if you are all these things, try a different approach and tactic. Read You stated you were open to criticism, i think not. Life is too short to develop anymore grey hairs on a hairless head.

  • Pauline Brown says:

    Based on your words! Read the comments you have left, you may see how others see you and please get some anger management, all those !!! are giving me a headache 🙂

  • Allan Morrell says:

    I apply various methods in the art of war during skirmish programs with softair!!!!!My behaviour is adjustable as and when I see fit accordingly!!!!I have an attitude .. to me that aint a problem… to others… maybe!!!Concieted I am!!!!!! Vile when I choose to be… not inhumane though!!!please feel free to describe in which way I act inhumanely!!!!!!Most of all… I am arrogant also…. to the point of confidence within myself!!!Bitterness????? you clearly appear bitter towards your interpretations of my presentation…. we can all jump to conclusions as to how people present themselves, that dont nessesseraly make such conclusions accurate and truthfull!!!!

  • Allan Morrell says:

    I make strategy as and where I need to….. I can be just as compassionate as I cam be uncompassionate… I place were applicable!!!!!!!!

  • Sarah Laffan says:

    allan you ask me to DARE to tell my story, well here it is i have an agreement with my ex husband that he pay me a very measley amount a month not enough to support 2 children, but as i dont want to cripple the family he now has i don on here even when some of these people have made it clear that your opinion isntt moan about it, as chris said i am his partner and i have to deal with the other side of it where his ex wife has put in a claim to csa and we are facing bankrupcy because of the ridiculous amount that csa are taking from chris wage! so theres my story allan, i have dared to tell it, i came on here to see if we could get any advice but with people like you on here im not finding much advice just a man that has to have his opinion (as you put it) on nearly every story even though some people have made it clear that your opinion isnt welcome! my opinion is maybe if you got out more and got a life you might actually not have so much hatred!

  • Allan Morrell says:

    SJP… truth about me????… I clearly present the truth about me… If you choose to accept fabrications as truth… that is clearly an issue for you to resolve with yourself!!!!Alleged comments are not truthfull comments!!!! especially without provision of evidence… clearly such fabrications remain unfounded and we all know what happens to a building without foundations!!!!

  • Allan Morrell says:

    SJP…. I have the evidence proving such fictions are made in a silly attempt to discredit my actions as an NRP!!!!! One part of that evidence is my child with who I have shared care responsibilities plus the evidence in receipts for the clothing he wears… wanna set a meet so I can provide them for your eyes to see the truth… maybe your eyes will influence your mind!!!!

  • Allan Morrell says:

    Sarah… I never asked you to dare tell your story… it was a question in reference to you commenting I dare tell my story!!!!I have explained my reasons for my comments and stand by them!!!!I sympathise with your story….. I am unable to provide you with any instructions or advice in relation to your own issues!!!!!I can only suspect that there are many who accept my support in regards to suffering more than I… I am clearly supportive to my eldest son emotionally and financially and I continue to provide xmas and birthday greetings to the children I dont get to see!!!Any allegations that provoke an opiinion will be presented with further opinions as seen fit and accordingly!!!!! Any argument started will be maintained…. as for going out… I fanancially am unable to unless taking dogs for walks or shopping and appointments!!!!!!

  • Sarah Laffan says:

    i didnt ask for any instuctions or advice from you as if you were to give any it would be disregarded as utter crap from a ignorant idiotic man! I must admit though im utterly gobsmacked that you dont have an opinion on my story as you have with everybody elses, maybe thats because you had me down as a money grabbing pwc that spends her child maintanence on retail therapy! as far as im concerned you are a silly little man with nothing better to do, thanx for giving me someone to vent my frustration on but you and your opinions are no longer needed! goodbye!

  • Allan Morrell says:

    Sarah, you evidently needed to release your frustrations on many occasions as previously displayed….Pauline…premature heart attack????…. never even the slightest approach…feel free to continue!!!!

  • Allan Morrell says:

    Only the money grabber type PWC is the money grabbing PWC!!!!Clearly such comments provoke your responses… why would I not assume as such????? whether you are or not is not my concern but clearly you are concerned as to comment about it… you choose to respond to my comments… your perrogative,,, therefore your problem… please feel free to continue!!! Yaaaaaawwwwwn!!!!!

  • Allan Morrell says:

    I clearly have many opinions about many stories.. apparently!!!!!Oh well… if you wish to continue… continue to your own heart attack while I continue with my ART attack…lol

  • Allan Morrell says:

    All that really matters here is that my children are provided for at my expense… Not the PWC provided for at my expense…ROFLMAOOL

  • Allan Morrell says:

    If you choose to become infatuated with my comments… ,more fool you!!!!!

  • Allan Morrell says:

    he he… thats why I sit here laughin my bits off while all those that presented comments with the feeble attempt of offence are sat with faces screwed up with anger revealed by a frown and snarlig lips or bared teeth seething with contempt more than the contempt I dispay to selfish arrogant greedy manipulative PWC's who use the CSA as a revenge tactic and finding the CSA is not what it is meant to be!!!!!!!I enjoy amusements were people wish to dispay their anger and frustrations because I will not silence or back down…… I stand by my beliefs that NRP's provide for their children the best way they can… even if just to provide shared care, Clothing and footwear with inclusion of all household amenities… this should be of valuable help for the PWC so as to help her to learn to budget properly without having to feel a need to demand more from the NRP than she is entitled… shared care… shared responsibility… Shared Child between both parents without aggression… It's the aggression that ammuses me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thats why I am constanly ammused at aggressive comments from those who choose to be aggressive…. you ask by such actions to have the same returned…. I sit and laugh while you snarrrrrrllll!!That's exactly what certain PWC's dislike about me… that I am ammused!!!! my PWC's never liked it either!!!!!!!!!I am who I am, I know who I am…………. Take it or leave it!!!!!!!I still stand by my views that support the original POST!!!ou lot just displayed the general antics of the selfrighteous!!!!!!They without sin should cast the first stone!!!!!! you throw… I'm free to return your call!!!!

  • Allan Morrell says:

    SJP… hope you and your baby are doin well!!!!! hope it wasnt too long during labour! Congratulations… well done and good luck!!! Glad your all doin well!!!

  • CSAhell.com says:

    Allan, nobody is snarling at your comments, or displaying a frown – we're all a little bored by the constant drivel that you're writing. Curtail it. If you have a comment relevant to a post, make it. If you have an opinion on someone's situation or comment, give it.Don't fill up the page with post after post when nobody is actually reading them, or replying to them.

  • Allan Morrell says:

    I believe a relevant comment to the post is about both parents providing for child… I just presented a comment… Clearly there are those that do respond…. if an argument is made in reference to my comments…and surely if there are unfounded allegations… I am clearly able to defend to those who allege such actions!!!! I'v made several point and raised several questions to certain responses,, this is clearly a reply to your comment,Thankyou for your time in accepting my expression and opinion relating to your comment!

  • Allan Morrell says:

    I beleive I made a recent comment relevant to this post where both parents should provide for the child…I clearly responded to comments where unfounded allegations were made questioning my Actions as an NRP… I clearly presented my opinion while raising questions in response to several posts made!Thankyou for your time in accepting my expressions and opinion relating to your above post….

  • Lee Hughes says:

    What's happened to this thread? lmao

  • Lisa Hunter says:

    The thread of this conversation/the post is absolutely excellent and extremely well written. CSAHELL administrator excellent post please deal with the constant contributor, people are leaving this group we are here for help and advice and to share experiences not to be verbally abused and bullied!

  • Lisa Hunter says:

    i see Sarah Laffan that you get LIKES on all your posts as do i…they are done to provoke i hope that the CSAHELL administrator addresses this!

  • Lee Hughes says:

    Pay per post must be in operation? Wahey, put me down for some! If not make me some money another way, it is christmas after all! http://giffgaff.com/orders/affiliate/averagejoe

  • Allan Morrell says:

    Funny how they continue when its already over….lol

  • Allan Morrell says:

    Lisa. I liked sarahs comments for the same reason I liked yours, they are amusing comments as you present your own rantings while commenting about mine….lol

  • Allan Morrell says:

    Lee… I think we have pay per view with our children… It's the PWC way to make xmas money so the PWC is able to show child that NRP is not willing to provide child with gifts (due to financial destruction by PWC and CSA) and present her contribution of poison to child against NRP…Unless the PWC is expecting NRP to finance PWC retail therapy of cause… In either case the child is not benefiting thanks to Bitter PWC's who choose to use a system that abuses the child by denying the child the rights to benefit from the NRP's contributuons both emotionally and financially wher CSA presents contributions to the PWC's purse..there are many PWC's who are not willing to compromise in the best interests of the child and are hellbent in destroying the ex financially and emotionally…. these type PWC's prefer to abuse their child by commital of such actions…Ultimately… the child loses out while PWC wins her vengefull intentions to hurt both NRP and child… they are so self concerned that they have no idea how it will affect the child… If only they knew that the poison they drip to the child and CSA will eat away at them, especially when the child is of the age that the PWC is no longer entitled to claim from CSA.. then what she gonna do for her retail therapy… screw sum1 else for another child maintenance claim for another 19 years????Its all about their greed…. else they would accept a reasonable offer where NRP provides clothing and footwear….Does the NRP who has shared care complain about expences for Household amenities costs????? the PWC does.. yet she chose to keep custody of child and denies NRP right to custody with collusion with Caffcas..It's all about the money…££££££s…. no interest of the childs needs but the needs of the PWC for money and enforcements of maximum tax free monetory gain via CSA… Its a PWC game of destruction of NRP and to cause NRP misery and upset… ultimately with the final intention to cause the NRP the will not to live!!!Purely PWC greed!!!!!

  • Allan Morrell says:

    Lisa… like button used to provoke what exactly????

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