Why should I pay the CSA when I can’t see my children?

June 4, 2009

I have been paying back pay for the last 2yrs because my daughters mother my ex told the csa i had never paid a penny when infact she used to get 200£ a month off me but it was cash.

I havent seen my daughter for god knows how long and have no choice but leave it till she is older as my ex makes it impossible for me because she has a new husband and doesnt want anything ruining what they have!!!!

but yet i still have to pay
my daughter hasnt even got my last name anymore she has been adopted my her mums new husband.

why do i always read on forums and on csa that the dads/fathers are in the wrong when its not always the case.

I’m in the army and was on tour when my ex up and left with my daughter and ever since it has been broken contact there should be rights and laws about this.

if a mother doesnt want thier children to have anything to do with the fathers then why should they be allowed any money on a monthly basis???

Comments

59 Responses to “Why should I pay the CSA when I can’t see my children?”

  1. wayne on June 7th, 2009 12:43 pm

    totally agree! i have had to spend over 20k trying to obtain access to my children but to no avail despite social services/cafcass/ and a full psychological report done (all at mothers request). dont get me wrong i agree with supporting my children but think a rule should be in place within the CSA where question 1 is does the father have access yes/no. and question 2 is if no does he want to?
    if its no to question 1 and yes to question 2 then they should refuse to take any further if evidence can be submitted (court docs etc) to prove the nrp would like contact!
    this would stop 1 women using children as pawns in a game and 2 nrp parents using this to not pay for their children!

    i find the CSA goes for the easy targets and leaves the others alone which is a shame!

  2. chall on June 7th, 2009 4:33 pm

    I have replied to your post Dan, expect its being moderated before being posted.

    In the meantime your welcome to at http://www.afairercsaforall.co.uk – join us in the forum x

  3. fed up civil servant on June 10th, 2009 3:18 pm

    The csa go from the day they speak to you, not the day the pwc (parent with care) makes a claim. the only way you have accrued any arrears is because you have not complied with them. I am fed up to the back teeth of peoplke slagging off the csa. They are there for the children, they make no profit what so ever. The money is paid to them, then goes straight to the parent with care. It does not matter if you do not have access to your child. the day you got that woman pregnant is the day you became eligible for child support. stop moaning and pay for your cvhild for gods sake.

  4. chall on June 12th, 2009 1:10 pm

    Hi fed up civil servant ,

    Quote; “the only way you have accrued any arrears is because you have not complied with them.”

    - Utter rubbish, this is NOT always the case !

    Cases that are subjected to agency delay, result in ‘arrears’ …

  5. cat on June 15th, 2009 8:18 am

    Quote”The money is paid to them, then goes straight to the parent with care”

    Thats a complete joke.
    The CSA have been paying me incorrect amounts for the last eight weeks and i have rang them every week telling them so, and been fobbed off with all kinds of excuses. My ex has been paying the csa the correct amounts every week but because (yet again) of someones incompitence at the csa they have been paying me only half of what i am owed.The last time i phoned i was finally told it could take up to 12 weeks for my case/missing money to be dealt with so i waited.

    They finally paid me what was owed after ten weeks of waiting and SURPRISE SURPRISE after that was sorted out they have now paid me an incorrect amount AGAIN!!!
    I am amazed at the level of incompitence that happens in this government agency on a regular basis.
    I only wonder how many parents suffer in silence because of it.

  6. Lydia baisden on June 18th, 2009 6:41 pm

    I guys,
    I think it is utterly ridiculous that a man should pay maintenance when the woman is not allowing him to see his children!
    If a parent up and leaves and themself not want contact then fair enough they should pay for their child/ren. But there are many decent men out there who want contact with their kids but the bitter, twisted mother will not allow it yet these men still have to pay for the child. Where is the justice in that!!!!!
    By the way i am a woman and i dispise any mother who uses the children as a weapon, it is about time that men are accounted for and should have as many rights of the women.

    Lyds

  7. Brilalala on July 13th, 2009 5:26 pm

    Hi,
    My partner has a son with his ex-wife 10 years ago.
    She was violent towards him quite frequently so when their son was 3 months old, he moved out.
    While obtaining legal advice, she moved and hasn’t been seen since.
    CSA keep demaning money but won’t tell him where she is living and he cannot gain access to his son.
    What are the legalities behind this? We have recently found out which town she lives in but not the address….I don’t understand how she can dissappear with his son where there was no legal custody agreement in place and when my boyfriend spent years demanding access with no success!
    Any advice?

    Thanks.

  8. dave on July 16th, 2009 11:11 am

    Hi there,

    Brilalala I traced my ex using http://www.tracesmart.co.uk/ it took 5 minutes and cost just a few quid!

    I would LOVE to see my son I have not seen him since he was 18 months old he will be 10 this year. He has been adopted by my ex’s Hubby and I still pay CSA and have had to pay for the last 4 years via AOE. It is disgusting that I am refused access by her for “violent behaviour” when the only violence on police record or indeed that I can remember is me getting hit and beaten up!

    I was thrown into great financial difficulty when the CSA suddenly started to take £228 PCM out of my salary why should it change depending how much you earn? Surely it costs x amount per month wether you earn 10,000 or 1,000,000 a year.

    I even wrote to David Cameron once and had a great reply off him on how his party would assess cases.

  9. lydia on July 25th, 2009 1:34 am

    Hello Brilalala,

    If your partner was married to the mother of his son then he has parental responsibility, look into prohibited steps orders, get maybe a free hours session with a solicitor (be ready with questions) then you can do the leg work envolved if you can not afford a solicitor! If you know the area start ringing the local schools as a father with parental responsibility the school can not deny him information.

    Hope this helps

    Lydia

  10. lucy on August 11th, 2009 5:32 pm

    i think every case is different and as a single mother who’s ex is threatening her with court and telling everybody i am stopping him seeig his son when the truth is he can’t be bothered to discuss things with me , i am now 2 labelled a twisted mothr who is usig her child as a weapon. My baby is 5 months old and since the day he was born despite what has gone on with us in our messy relationship have encouraged access 2 his son. The issue is that he is a compulsive liar and i don’t trust him with my son as he already has tried to take him off in the car without my permission and various other things.All i want is for my son to be safe and looked after and to know he is where i believe him to be. There re men who couldn’t give a toss out there babies , there are women who do use thei kids as weapons but each case is individual and at the end of the day..the children need feeding and clothes, and a roof over their heads so why should the mother provide all this?

  11. david on September 3rd, 2009 4:43 pm

    i recently found out that my partner of 10 years was having an affair, after 3 months of me making every effort to stay with her and running up 5000 pounds on a credit card for the benefit of her and my 2 children, 3 and 9 years old and her saying she wanted to be with me. 3 times i found out she was carrying on contact with her boyfriend and after 3 months of mental torture after finding out she wanted to be with him i snapped and went and smashed up his car. totaly out of character for me, no previous, no history of violence. i was arrested for this and admitted it, after coming out of my cell i found out my partner had accused me of domestic violence and also rape. i denied both these allegations as they were both untrue. on the 19th of august i received a non molestation order and also a occupancy order for my house which we both own. after talking with my solicitor i found out that due to the criminal damage i had no way of appealing the case and they were put into place. i have an income of 1400 a month and child support have contacted me today 3rd of september my 9 year olds birthday saying i have to pay 280 a month, even though she has moved her boyfriend in the day i left he earns 2000 a month and she has earned 44000 for the last 5 years she has students who stay in my house with an income from those of 400 a month. i didn’t want to leave and she refuses to let me see my children who i looked after 6 days a week for the last 7 years while she worked, is this justice for the csa to take 20% of my wages to give to her while between her and her new boyfriend live in my house with an income between the 2 of them of 70000 a year?

  12. desperatley seeking solution on September 28th, 2009 1:26 am

    I have being csa for years, they have evenutally reduced my new family (when i say new I mean 15 yr relationship,14 yr old daughter) to the point where they are leaving me because they can’t take any more.
    I have an 19 yr old and a 17 from a previous marriage, I got a phoe call to say the 19 yr old would be taken off and a reassessment would take place. they then found out that my ex had not informed them that the 19yr old had started uni the year before. they then backdated the assessment from then putting us into 3200 punds of arrears even though if was not us with holding info.

    It is so unfair because if we had withheld info which they thought would benefit us we would be prosecuted not benefited!!

  13. kerry on March 7th, 2010 8:31 pm

    In response to fed up civil servant.

    You are a complete and utter disgrace, you are so wrong the CSA target the wrong people, easy targets and not the ones that don’t take responsibility as parents.

    Anyone that uses their children as a weapon or for financial gain are evil
    what is their actions teaching the next genaration ?

    Its ok to claim benefits and not work ? My son thinks its a joke that his dad is taking his new family on an all inclusive holiday on the money the csa take off me, what will i be doing, working to pay for it. and I have shared care, but because I’ve worked hard all my adult ife and got a decent job, I have to pay them. Whos teaching our kids about integrity and pride and respect ?

    Not this government , thats for sure.

  14. Amy Danks on April 12th, 2010 4:06 pm

    I would like to say that people need to stop moaning. The CSA work really hard to get things done and dont work on commision so it’s not like they go for ‘easy targets’. Some people (like my mother) cant get maintenance from the absentee parent. If you cant handle it or you can’t afford it then don’t have kids. Simple as that! Their just trying to do there job and take alot of shit from alot of people, Don’t think your better than them when there tying to help YOU! Some people act like children, moaning and bitching and basically throwing tantrums because they cant get there own way. Just remember.. its not the CSA that ruined your relationship and caused you/your ex to pay maintenance it’s your disfunctional family and the way you go about things so why dont you think about that instead of being so bitter and negative…

  15. andy on April 15th, 2010 6:12 pm

    the csa try to do their best. what a complete joke, i have actually been told in a face to face interveiw with them that they do go after the easy targets i have it on tape. it really is quite simple, if a parent decides that a person is going to play no part in a childs life they give up the right to any money unless the child is in danger. any parent who denies a child contact with the other parent should have the child removed from their care, drastic?? maybe but i bet people would think twice and actually consider the child. i have my own situation and many people are in the same boat. a child is something to be treasured and nurtured but the laws in this country make them emotional and financial weapons and the legal proffession only extend issues to get more money. where is the government body to help with nrps. i am actually ashamed of my country, what sort of future do we have when our children are allowed to be used in this way. i dread to think of the emotional damage caused by parents who only see children as cash cows. to the civil servant, do you have kids. having kids and raising them are joint decisions until in this country a parent decides to use the kid. i did not decide to have kids on my own but have no comeback whatsoever in order to see my son. if you do have kids imagine not seeing them for 7 years even though you have done nothing wrong. shut up you dickhead

  16. Simon on May 13th, 2010 1:26 pm

    I have also been told on a training course by the CSA that they will always chase the military because we are easy to trace and know that we will pay through are pay directly from source. The CSA do mess things up and you do get in arrears I am yet to have my assessment correctly calculated and this claim was started in Februaury!!!
    Whilst I agree I have to pay for my children perhaps if they employed compitent staff who could work quicker and more efficiently we wouldnt be complaining.
    Also with regards to fed up civil servant, we are paying but what we begrudge is why women have the automatic right to gain from this and us fathers that are willing to pay and support our children have no right to see our children so they are quite willing to take our money and then we should just waiver our human rights and let our ex-partners decide the law.

  17. phill on August 11th, 2010 10:23 pm

    “Whilst I agree I have to pay for my children perhaps if they employed compitent staff who could work quicker and more efficiently we wouldnt be complaining.
    Also with regards to fed up civil servant, we are paying but what we begrudge is why women have the automatic right to gain from this and us fathers that are willing to pay and support our children have no right to see our children so they are quite willing to take our money and then we should just waiver our human rights and let our ex-partners decide the law.”

    Simon i couldnt agree with you more, my case is basically this: i split with my partner of 4 yrs when my son was 18 months old as she was cheating on me with another guy, we made a verbal agreement that i would pay her x amounts of money per month and i was allowed to have him when i was not working for as long as i wanted HOWEVER what she didnt tell me is that she was also claiming benefits and also decided to take me to the CSA to claim even more money! I was chased by the csa and i showed them the bank account statements proving on my pay day what i paid her (as she wanted cash) but they did not accept this as VALID proof that i was paying for my son, i agreed that the best option would be to pay by direct debit and i had to keep telling them month by month that they were not taking the money to be told “i will reset the direct debit up and we will take the money” to which they never did! they did finally take the money however the messed it up again to the tune of 8k. The bottom line is that the CSA then added a DOE to my wages which i have had to pay before tax and national ins, I then rang them and told them that this is not a viable option due to my mortgage etc but they said tough and they do not care as the money is reqd! I gave them the option of setting up a standing order (which would charge me if a dont pay it) which i thought they would go for but NOOOOOOO, so i am now more than 17 months behind with full payments on my mortgage (luckily my bank have been a bit more understanding than the CSA) however the DOE finishes at the end of NOV and i will be so glad, it has made me think on how they work cos basically they ” dont care”. fed up civil servant you sound a complete and uteer idiot and obviously have never been in a situation like this otherwise you would understand the frustration that is being vented here, Women do get all the benefits from this and the Men always look the worse for these types of situations regardless of the situation that lead to this happening

  18. mark on August 26th, 2010 12:00 am

    I have been refused access to my child on a regular basis and get to see her once every 2months. I pay over £500 a month and that’s my recalculated rate i was paying £600 the month it was recalculated they took my old rate and new rate at the same time taking over £1000 which left me with nothing to live on for the rest of the month. They said that next month they would take it out of what i had already payed and refused to put it back in my account. I ended up using a payday loan for which i am still paying now. They say thay only care for the child but what about the wellfare of the parents i could have lost allot thanks to them possibly end up on benifits myself then what there would be no money from me

  19. John on November 26th, 2010 2:30 pm

    move to thaialnd

  20. Open chequebook on January 27th, 2011 10:38 pm

    Wife left after taking +£20k of our savings of which £10k of was hidden in her friends bank account before she left leaving me with an overdraft of £1k over Christmas. She was also having a long standing affair.

    Access was severely limited over Christmas and after starting as every weekend Friday night to Monday morning in the new year reduced to every other weekend Friday to Sunday night. She then stopped access entirely in response to me beginning a relationship and not being a doormat anymore.

    Accusations of assault against my on my youngest which were subsequently proved false, slanderous statements of abuse (to explain her absence from college) and attempts to get me in trouble for animal neglect followed. I was also giving 7/8 of my income in maintenance and paying her share of the bills for the 7 bed house I had built myself for my family and her parents.

    The long and the short of it is she is trying to move her boyfriend in and replace me entirely as my three kids dad. Being a loving father and entirely financially responsible for my family for the last 14 years stands for nothing. For me to force access will cost around £10k, money better spent on my kids future. The worst of it is even when the courts awarded access they would have no power to enforce it as there only powers would be to gaol or fine her, neither of which would be seen to be in the interests of the kids.

    My ex even moved house so that I could not phone or write to them. This I got around by some online detective work. The first telephone call was a real shock for her and after the first letter to the kids I began sending them via a very understanding primary school. She absolutely hates this but has no choice but to give them the letters. Tonight I received an email from my ex on my 9 year old’s email account (the previous account mysteriously stopped working) asking me and pretending to be my daughter, to stop sending them to the school. the mobile phone I sent to my daughter vanished after a week – what a surprise.

    The answer is do whatever it takes to remain sane and in the black so that you can make a new life. remember that all too soon the children will be old enough to see through any lies and then you will have the rest of your life with them. Any money you manage to avoid paying to the CSA is put aside for further education, house deposit etc.

    Over last year’s depression and dark thoughts and now planning my future with my wonderful partner and looking forward to my kids in a few years time.

  21. eliross on June 9th, 2011 7:39 pm

    hi i have paid csa now for 12 years for a daughter born into a relationship when i was 18 in the army. i always said she wasnt mine, the mother was seing somebody else but he was married, so guess who got pointed…the soldier away. she told me lies of dates when she was due, i wasnt even there i was stuck in patrol base in ireland when she fell pregnant! i signed the paperwork got back to uk and found all this out here i am 12 years later seen the girl 4 times and ive paid thousands…. sent dna test after mother agreed then she put it bin.. how can this be right?

  22. k bessell on June 22nd, 2011 8:36 pm

    Firstly I would like to say to all those small minded idiots who agree with the csa, They are as far as I can see bounty hunters. Perhaps they should concerntrate on the dads that bugger off without paying a penny and help the hard working dad who has only the interest of the child or children at heart. I dont earn a fortune but struggle some months to get by and have eat at family members homes purely because I cannot afford the payments. Whilst I struggle with the day to day events, My ex lives in a big 3 bedroom house who has just had double glazzing installed and goes out all the time and has holidays where I struggle to get to work and am affraid to go near a cash point incase it says no. I wish the csa and the goverment would give more consideration to the non-residential parent.

  23. watless scumbag mother should burn on August 26th, 2011 9:29 pm

    I feel all of you single dads out there that just wannabe dads im in thd same boat i pay money each month for a child i dont see the mother tried her up most best to stop me false harrsement charges, try to make me out to be a crazy guy when in reality im a good man a provider a worker, ive spend thousands on solictor fee for it to amout me going toa contact centre out of london i went the once. secound time round there was bad weather i.e snow which is not my fault, so the communication broke downfrom there. that was nearly 2 years ago. and still no reply for me to see her. so i will wait until she gets older im in a new relationship and happy. so all us men who are suffering not forlong trust me i belive in karma so to all you mothers that use there children you can fuck right off you are potless scumbags

  24. Foley on September 5th, 2011 5:19 pm

    I think a lot of the problems lie with the ex partners rather than the csa. They do not look at the army as being an easy target. With most non resident parents the csa have the power to do a dedcutions of earnings order – for the armed forces and the police they can not send an order, only a DOE request – it is then up to the Commanding officer to decide whether or not to honour the request.

    Not all mothers use the children as pawns or financial gain. My ex partner is in the army and was posted down south which did not make access arrangements straight forward. I was threatened by him that he was going to see a lawyer re access. I actually ended up paying for a lawyer to letter him saying that iWANTED him to have access when he would be up on leave etc. he then was given a post 15 miles away from where we live. But still he chose not to see his daughter.

    I have been receiving payment via doe for4 yrsbut he has now left the army. For the last 3yrs i have been studying for my nursing degree. Not the easiest thing to do while on your own with a young child. I would much rather that my ex had spent the past 4 yr building a relationship with his daughter rather than paying money.

    Some fathers can be as twisted as the mothers! Dont tar all us mothers with the same brush!

  25. Michael Conrad on September 21st, 2011 7:40 am

    To all men out there, do not even ever deposit your sperm near a woman, why the hell should we be the ones that are deemed to have made the woman pregnant. In most cases a woman is going to play all biologically emotional and state that she wants it either way, thus we do not get even offered a choice. The best way is to refuse women access to sperm period!!!

    The system is screwed. Its funny how a woman automatically gets Parental repsonsibility whereas a man has to be married to the woman or otherwise apply to court, I mean how much longer are we going to accept this shit!!!

    My ex has always prevented me from seeing my children who live in Sweden, Hey hell I dont even know what school they go to and if anything happened to my ex-wife, it would be her parents that are the custodians/guardians. And yet I paid for my son to come here to the UK for 2 weeks which cost me all of GBP 2,500.00.
    Then you’ll get the moaner lisa mothers out there say, ohh you get all the fun!!!

    My ex recently went to Disney world and Cassiz in France with her partner. They both earn well in excess of GBP 4,000.00 per month. I have been out of work for the past year due to the economic climate and was made redundant while I was in Chicago a year ago. Lovely !!!!!!

    This has now gone so far that I am scarred. I refuse to have anything to do with my ex or her children, well they are clearly not mine since I have been stripped of my fatherhood and my partner who I will be marrying next year could not agree more whole heartedly, and yes she is a woman and yes we may try for children together, infact she may be pregnant now, but over my dead body am I going to pay for 2 complete strangers!!!! I

  26. Odette Landy on September 30th, 2011 6:33 pm

    Most of you on here are men……..! correct? well how come none of you fought for your child so you could have the child live with you, then you could get CSA from the mother and dont say because i have a job the gournment helps for child care costs for single parents.

    Anyway my son sees his dad and i dont get any CSA maintenance as my ex is self employment, hes been taken to court and im still waiting!

    CSA are crap!

  27. katana75 on October 12th, 2011 5:53 pm

    well my daughter is 14 and i have always paid what i can when i can. when i was in well paid jobs i paid well above what the csa would have awarded and of course the ex (split 4yrs ago) was more than happy. now it has all changed as i am now in a low paid job and me and my partner are struggling to make ends meet (we dont own property or have savings) but oh thats not good enough for the ex,she still wants more money so wants csa involved!!!
    no its not about the welfare of my daughter,its about the ex lining her pocket because her and her partner like taking foreign holidays!! for this year infact and my daughter was only allowed to go with them once!!
    her partner is only a painter and decorator so isnt on a massive wage and the ex is only an admin assistant.yup its the money i been paying thats kept em in comfort and now thats had to stop the worm has turned!!

  28. Patricia on October 21st, 2011 7:59 pm

    Im a mother of 3 I found out my husband was having an affair when he left for work and never came back I contact the csa but my ex said he will neve pay a penny for the kids as his words how is he going to pay to go to chilie to see his g friend if he has to pay for his kids so I cant get money from him through the csa as he working cash inhand

  29. tonybach on November 6th, 2011 11:10 pm

    ive just paid 344,56 for this month,she goes to chester races!!!!!thought it was child support!!!!! after paying that and my bills,i barely have enough money to eat!!dont know how long i can keep this up.how is this fair?why are we being treated like this?it was her that had an affair with a policeman!!!!!i got to pay for it.

  30. David.S on November 7th, 2011 4:38 pm

    My ex is 7months pregnant, we werent trying to have a baby its just one of those things that happened, she never wanted to have an apbortion because she says shes always wanted a baby but I think it’s a way of trying to get me back which won’t happen. I found out she were pregnant 6 weeks after we broke up.

    I’m slowly coming round the idea of being a dad but I get the feeling I won’t be able to see my child, I don’t see why I would have to pay child support if I can’t see my own child if that were to happen. I’ve been looking things up on the internet and had advice from a solictor, it all sounds like the mother of the child has a law book in her hands and claim anything.

    Why is it that the mother can claim family tax credit but the father can’t and yet we have to pay child support but get no support of our own. I did ask what if i had the child half the time, could I claim anything no. I’m on a poorly paid job as it is living at home with parents, I haven’t got a cat in hells chance of getting a home anytime soon because the father always comes off worse.

  31. Katie on November 8th, 2011 9:58 pm

    I am currently in a situation that i dont like but had no choice,some women maybe the same. I have read the comments and everyone is entitled to their opinions and it really annoys me when men tie all women with the same brush when it comes to women not allowing them to see their child? i have a violent ex, who pushed me around whilst pregnant,smashed my house up where my daughter was and covered her in glass, i still let her dad come and see her whenever he wanted but because i didnt allow him to take her until he could be trusted, he never bothered at all!! his family havnt seen,asked,texted,or provided anything for her since she was 7 weeks old, her dad hasnt done anything for her or paid for her or bought her anything or even asked about her for 5 months so do i think he deserves to see her or be involved?? no he goes out every other weekend drinking,taking cocaine but doesnt provide for his daughter?? does he deserve to be in her life and have the name dad??? no i dont think he should! not all men are like that but some men are, like women, some women use their children as weapons, some mothers would go to the end of the earth to protect their child and if that means the dad not seeing them in that sort of circumstance than i totally agree! i do not ask for anything from my ex, he doesnt see her now and hasnt bothered for 5 months i havnt gone through csa because at the end of the day a father no matter what the circumstances should WANT to pay for his child and provide for them, he shouldnt have to be asked to provide, the day 2 people make a baby it is BOTH their responsibility to provide! no matter what the circumstance! but some men think its clever to have kids, no pay for them or bother cos their 2 busy enjoying themselves to care so who does it boil down to everytime? the mother to provide? some men can just walk away and have done, any decent mother wouldnt do that? and it is down to her to provide for that child alone! and i make it clear, not all men just some men! but i do not agree that all women who do not allow their child to see their fathers are using them as a weapon that is an unfair statement.because the father of my daughter doesnt and i do not ask anything from him and he doesnt pay anything. i would rather struggle then beg or ask for money, they should want to provide if they cared.

  32. sick off freeloaders on November 10th, 2011 2:18 pm

    can someone tell me why i have to pay for my partners and his exs children me and my partner have been together 11 years and he pays his csa every week out his wages we have to children together yet the csa want my infomation to give her more money she lives the high life with her husband yet we sturggle ith our bills

  33. David.S on November 11th, 2011 4:22 pm

    Sick off freeloaders – From my understanding of it all the CSA shouldn’t be after any of your money for your partners children, if they were yours then fair enough but the CSA can only get 15% of your partners net wage not a combined 15%. Hope this helps.

  34. Phil on November 14th, 2011 6:40 pm

    I am in the same boat my ex wife left me after committing adultery with a mate of mine. I was in the Army so she moved and went back home to live which is over 180 miles away, since then I have had to fork out a huge bill on divorcing her and now we are divorced she is preventing me from seeing my son. When I did get to see him I have to fork out all the costs to go to see him which I am happy with but now she is getting my child to come up with excuses for being busy at weekends. She has also not sent me any photos of him or school reports etc since we split, she is being a right cow over this. She is also trying her best to change his surname. I have never been abusive to either of them its just I reckon she has a screw loose. So why do they do it and why should I pay a higher amount of CSA for a child I am prevented from seeing, I am happy to pay money for him but it should be at lower amount and should be dependent upon access rights. This way she should encourage our son to see me in order to reap the benefits instead of knowing she will get her money therefore she can be as awkward as she likes. Of course if the NRP doesnt want to know they should fork out. CSA the biggest joke ever as it never considers the male.

  35. claire on November 18th, 2011 6:45 pm

    my ex partner whom i never married is not paying maintenace for our 4 yr old son he gets access to our son every second weekend but refuses to pay a penny he wont even help towards xmas toys for him as he is unemployed do i have the right to refuse access?? thank you claire from ireland.

  36. Amy on November 29th, 2011 8:31 pm

    Hi, ive read through all your comments agreeing and disagreeing, everyone is entitled to their opinion but it really bugs me when women are tared with the same brush!!! Im currentky in a situation which i never expected, i have a 5 month old boy to which his dad never wants to see him, i contacted him when born he sent me a solicitors letter claiming im harrassing him, i got a solicitor to respond to the letter asking if he wanted contact with his son, all in all ive spent £375 on letters and never got a response, he left his job so csa couldnt get any money out of him, he then claimed he was the dad and wanted a paternity test, then he refused to do the test, he them moved properties so he couldnt be contacted, ive finally had my assessment done and im still awaiting payment. The guy at CSA told me it could take awhile as my ex knows how to play the system. These are the men that should not be allowed to get away with what they are doing, hes playing the system to delay payment, thats not fair on my son!!! To make it worse i dont get my money back dated becasue hes got another csa case, to which he has moved back in with his ex but still paying her csa so my son gets less money… Ive told the CSA on many of occassions and the tell me they will investigate becasue they are potentially commiting fraud, they they say well both cases have denied it so theres nothing more we can do.
    Ive never stopped access if anything ive tried so many ways to encourage it but my ex isnt bothered, i will keep the door open for him for a short while but there will come a time i will just give up on him and move forward. if i was to marry someone else and he was to adopt my son would my ex still have to pay CSA???

  37. mother of 4 on December 8th, 2011 12:16 pm

    i have the si\tuation from both ends, i have 2 children with my ex parter and 2 with my current partner. i would never stop my ex having his children and have never asked him for a penny to take care of them, i chose to have them as did he. for the first 2 years of our separation he didnt pay a thing for them, we survived! yet i never stopped him having access because my mum did this with me and my father and i grew curious as i approched my teens and went off on my own to find him. my children go to their dads house most weeks now and during school holidays, they are not a peice of gold that i can pawn when we struggle with finances and if anything, i appreciate the break from them, my ex realised after having the children for a whole summer holiday how much it costs these days to entertain kids and keep them fed, happy,warm etc and willingly started maintenance which goes towards their school trips, uniforms, after school clubs and a little to their savings accounts too. he knows now that they are looked after by myself and their stepfather with love, compassion and discipline and he plays an active role in ensuring that his 2 children will grow to be respectable people. on the other hand, my partener isnt so lucky! he would love to see his children and pays csa however their mother had an affair with a drug dealer! she is still with him and he makes it very difficult for us to see the children, he answers her phone when we call to arrange access, he takes the children out of the house prior to us collecting them (arranged by him) and doesnt bring them home until we are gone! he seems to have full control of the whole situation so please bear in mind when everyone slags off this person and that, that sometimes it is beyond the control of both parents. sometimes insecure outsiders come in and make it difficult for everyone. our next plan will be via the police and social services, as a last resort as we dont want the children to witness anything untoward, but they dont deserve to be brought up in a drug fuelled house watching their mother being beaten black and blue by a man who seems to have control over so many peoples lives. men should have an equal right to see their children as women wanted the equal right to vote work and be paid! they say that there is no love like a mothers, but the two men who have fathered my children have proven that their love is equal to mine for their children and would as i would fight every man, woman and government to the death for the happiness and welfare of our children. so to the men on here who want to but cant gain access, keep fighting because one day your kids will realise that you are doing all you can to see them, and they will come to you with respect and love regardless of what you do or dont pay and they will know that you have tried

  38. jo on December 15th, 2011 6:09 pm

    i agree with the majority, on here! my partner went out with a girl for six week when they split up he heard nothing off her for over a year then suddenly he had a letter saying shed had a baby and it was his! he wasnt so sure! 2 years later me and him got together and that when she put he claim to the csa in! he has never been able to see the child and she has also refused a dna test but when he dold the csa they basically said tuff, if u got a problem go to court! but they dont seem to understand that when they are taking so much money out of his wages its impossible to afford it! plus we have got 2 kids of our own to look after, its bull shit that their only in it for the kids! what about my kids? we are the ones struggling yet she has just had her 3rd kid by a 3rd father and none of them are allowed to see their kids!!

  39. micjael tairhurst on December 31st, 2011 9:33 am

    Hi, my wife walked out on me and my children on 14th of November, she is not paying me csa, do I have the right to refuse he to see them, she is working, she spends all her money on cannabis and going out partying,, I have been letting her see then every Sunday and also feeding her a Sunday lunch, but I am feeling used by her, she won’t tell me where she lives because she is with some one else,,,

  40. CSA Hater on January 3rd, 2012 8:29 pm

    The system is entirely set up for Mothers.
    The mother has every right to do whatever she pleases and we, the men, have to put up and shut up.
    We were married she had an affair, then I had an affair, I tried to make it work, she left me. I felt she made no effort, she hated me. She stole thousands from my bank, maxed my 7k empty credit card and received 13k redundancy from her former employers before disappearing. Even after leaving she was still still stealing from me.
    I never missed a weekend with my daughter when I am not working, I look after her every holiday when I am at home. She still threatens me with access if I don’t say ‘how hi?’ when she says jump.
    This is absolutely acceptable in todays society.
    She gets £250 maintenance, has a job, receives child support and fuck knows what else. Drives a Mini 4×4, newly gutted and refurbished house in posh part of Glasgow. Holidays twice a year to America. Every year.
    So Mr Civil Servant, this girl has the right to break up a family, steal, bugger off, threaten access for no reason and still receives child maintenance, still has total control. But hey, its all for the child, isn’t it.
    Justice. you’re having a laugh. you politician idiots only care about your votes and lining your shitty Marks and Spencer trousers with hard working man’s cash, Your appalling system has ruined the fabric of society enticing female greed and daylight robbery and blackmail. You really have a cheek.

  41. mother of 2 on January 4th, 2012 12:04 pm

    I was married for 13yrs and left my husband after 7yrs of domestic violence and his alcoholic ways.He always promised to change but never did! I took my kids and left the house with a few bin liners of clothes and belongings – the marital home that we owned together. I lost my job due to his non payments of the mortgage and then I had no choice but to try and pursue csa payments. I let him see the kids when ever he asked to see them – but then my kids became distressed by his drinking and lack of having things in the house for them like a drink or meal and he made them tidy his house up, they begged me not to let him see them again. Anyhow I instructed the csa because i financially needed the money I have received like 6 weeks of payments over 2 yrs and now he has got changing jobs and being unemployed down to a fine art so I don’t receive payments. I try to encourage the kids to have a relationship but they both are adamant they don’t wish to see him and are infact scared of him. He probably thinks that I have turned the kids against him in some why and I can hand on heart say I have not, I bought my eldest son a mobile phone with one of the csa payments I received and encouraged him to give his dad the number so they could text I always hoped that my ex would change and it was up to the boys to make their minds up for them selfs. Anyhow its now winter and im living in a rented house thats damp and I can hardly afford to keep warm, the average temperature in this house is 12 0c and thats me putting £20pwk in a gas meter, my eldest son is growing and needs winter boots the kids got one present each for xmas. I dont drink I dont smoke but all my money is accounted for – my eldest son actually felt guilty giving me a letter for his school trip to a xmas panto for £15 but ofc I made sure he went. I have debts but I dont pay them coz i cant afford to i cant even do a iva because i cant afford to make any payments at all, I want to go bankrupt and cant even afford the fees for that. My ex however this year has been on 3 holidays abroad, and enjoying a extravagant lifestyle that he brags about on facebook! while his kids go without things coz he begrudges csa payments by avoiding paying! Im not someone using my kids as weapons against there dad as far as im concerned its my relationship with him that diddnt work but it doesnt mean the kids cant have a relationship but i have to support them when they choose not too know him atm coz he is in a bad place in his life. I diddnt fall pregnant deliberately to catch him out in some way he wanted these kids, if i knew for a second i was gonna end up a single mother I would never of had these kids, its not just hard financially but emotionally I believe a child should have both a mother and farther in their life. At the end of the day csa payments are to make sure the kids get everything they need in life – does it really matter if you see your kids or not as to whether you are gonna pay csa for them. They are your flesh and blood, regardless if you see your kids or not surely you must care that they have warm clothes and warm houses to live in! It just annoys me the whole system im not out to financially ruin my ex I just want financial contribution to raising the children that we agreed to have together. At the end of the day if I left the kids with him I would pay csa payments to him, if it wasn’t for the fact that he is a alcoholic I would have done that so he can see what its like being “a single parent” so please dont tarnish mothers of dads that claim csa as being greedy some of us are desperately needing financial help. I am truly devastated for my kids, I worry about their future I struggle to get by and I know my eldest will want to go to uni one day and god knows how im going to help him achieve that! so all im saying is paying csa for kids and visitation for kids are both entirely separate issues and shouldn’t be related.

    A child has a right to be warm, fed and clothed and both parents should have responsibilities to provide that

    A child also has the right to a relationship with both their parents – the child’s right not the parents

  42. Ash on January 8th, 2012 11:00 pm

    Ha anyman been threatened by the csa ? i have for not paying £8000 arrears, i have my reasons for not paying and i wont untill the law changes, iv been threatned to have my driving licence took off me for two years, even a prison sentence, whats that going to solve, anyone with similar issues

  43. Ash on January 9th, 2012 9:38 am

    I would just like to add to my comment sent yesterday,
    When me and my ex split after 19 years of marrige i didnt want anything to do with the home they lived in, my choice as i thought in good will my children need a roof over thier heads and they didnt deserve all this crap,
    Within two weeks of the split my ex got in touch with the csa saying she had no choice,
    Now there was a choice an amical choice ,my ex said she didnt trust me to pay, well after 19 years together she didnt trust me, i question myself many times about that statement she made,
    After the 1st year things were sort of ok, after that then came the excuses on the days i was to have my children, now when i say the days i had them 3 hours 1 day a week, is that fair, i dont think so,
    Now as time as gone by iv had social workers, cafcass, involved asking my children what the problem was, the answer was our mother dosent want us to see our dad,
    Ok the next step was court, it took two years where at that time i never seen my kids, very hard believe me ,
    I won the case and i started seeing my children twice a week, by that time i had nowhere to live, no firm foundations where i could have my children, in 6 years my children have never spent 1 night with me,
    As this was going on i lost my job due to all the pressure, i was on anti depressents even considered taking my own life,
    i now still dont see my children on a regular bases,
    I set up a small business 1 year ago , earning arnt great but still i cant afford a place of my own, iv even slept in my van at tempatures -5.6, well you dont sleep you just survive,
    As my above thread says thats where i am at at the moment, how can anyone pay what in my case they are asking ,
    I have been in touch with 5 local solicitors to try and get legal aid and fight this in court, and out of the five not one will, they do say they can help but i have to pay,
    What a joke not being able to get legal aid due to a low income,
    My ex has a £130000 house i gave her, goes abroad at least once a year with our 3 kids, work that one out,
    As i say as a father i have a duty but under the law of the CSA at the moment i will not give in,

  44. Martin on January 24th, 2012 1:27 pm

    Ive been separated for almost two years from my evil ex wife, since septeber 2010, and from day one the csa called and demmanded money for my two children. Being a good farther i paid, i saw my children every other weekend and at christmas but soon realised that the situation was not viable, what with the cost of living and the fact i was paying around £40 in fuel each time i picked them up and returned them to her. by march 2011 i could not afford to get to work, and lost my job i had been eating into money that was not there so i could see my children and do the right thing. i told the csa this and there answer was tuff, get another job! I was out of work for six months, i work in the construction industry and struggled to find work. Now that im working again the whole saga take place again, so in a few months i will not be able to afford my train ticket to work, and will probably be out of work again. the csa well they dont care, they just want their money, and dont seem to understand that with out a job their is no money! This time i will probably lose the house aswell as im still paying for the last six months out of work. and all because she moved away with the kids to live with a much richer man.

  45. k iglesias on January 25th, 2012 4:58 pm

    CSA are aload of bollocks, my partner got a women preg on a one night stand, she in the end did agree on a dna test and the child is my partners. he has bought things for his house and bought the child toys clothes etc. my partner also offered to give her £60 a month and pay half on everything else milk bottles etc. She refused and said this is not enough, so she said to go through csa. my partner contacted csa first and in fairness everythign is going okay for now. although i do know how the csa can mess up. my partner is only just getting access to his child because he threatened to go court for full access and she backed down veryy quick. He says having his daughter is the worse but best mistake and wishes he had picked a real women to have the child with not a child ina womens body. i hate people who use there kids its unfair and wrong. and if a parent refuses access to the child unless a good reason to do so then i think the man shouldnt have to pay csa!!

  46. Kevin on January 26th, 2012 9:37 am

    OK so here goes,
    I have lived outside of the UK now for quite some years now. After about four years without seeing my children, after spending thousands of pounds trying to see them and paying way too much through the CSA for them when I was offered the opportunity to move abroad. After taking legal advice and funny enough advice from someone at the CSA (who told me the best bet was to go) I notified the CSA that I was leaving the country and the jurisdiction of the UK and would no longer be liable. I continued to pay my arrears and then stopped once they were paid off. I have continued a fund for each child in the country of my residence for them I would like to add.
    I have no idea where the kids are and I have moral issues with not paying for them NOW and if my ex would stop being such a tw*t about it, I would happily pay on a monthly basis through a bank. The caveat though, would be that I resume my relationship with my kids which I think is only fair…
    So here’s the question, If I come back to see my family for a week, would I be stopped at the airport and arrested. Would I have my passport taken from me? I ask as I’m a little freaked out by what I have read in the UK press recently….I am UK citizen living permanently outside of the commonwealth and the EU..

  47. cara on January 28th, 2012 12:06 am

    I wish my ex would see our children. I have gone to extremes for him to be apart of their lives. They are still so young. I have now stopped all contact because he let me/them down far to many times and it wasn’t fair. The last thing I said to him was ‘you do all the hard work now and make the courts let you see the kids, because I’m sick and tried of trying to get you to be a dad to them’. In 18 months in has moved 3 hours away from them, and had another child to some else. The CSA has tried it best. My award notice was £5 a week.( 3 payments in 18months) It was never about the money. It is about the our children. I know for a fact that I am being called all the names under the sun. But as time goes on it is going to harder for him to have a relationship with his 2 older children. The point I’m trying to make is that some women stop contact for the benefit of the children. In my case all I want is consistent and reliable contact for my children with there father. The money would help, but we have gone this long without, I dont think I want it any more, I would rather go without and know that my children are my world. Not all women use their children as weapons and not all dad couldn’t give a *&%. Wish there was happy middle ground.x

  48. Ash on February 4th, 2012 5:25 pm

    Cara if hes an arse hole then u and your children are better off without, BUT when it comes to the money side of things iv never met a woman yet that said it aint about the money, if thats your case your 1 in a million, all i can say is good luck with raising your children and believe me everyman isnt the same, i would luv to have proper contact with my children but i feel its gone to far where my ex has manipulated thier minds so much its never gonna happen now, iv tried and tried to have contact but when i do see them they look at me as if im a stranger, xmas times and birthdays are the only times they are nice to me, and whys that do you think

  49. Dan on February 5th, 2012 3:56 pm

    I like to think I am a reasonable person. Brought up by two loving parents in a stable home and a stable family. I have a good career and thought I had it all. A son, wife, nice family home, car etc etc. Our son has just turned 10. Last year we realised our marriage started to show some cracks for reasons caused by a lack of communication. We decided on a marital break to sort them out which would have been easy to do. Three days later my wife calls and tells me she wants to split up and if I did not tell our son then she would. After begging and pleading for a reason why and trying to save our marriage she was having non of it. I later learn she was seeing lots of other men and had been through out the marriage. My life was then turned upside down, not seeing my son often enough, she is not helping me see him, refuses to allow me access to the marital savings. She is allowing drunk men to turn up at the former marital home to stay the night, associates with drug dealers and users, takes my son out to pubs until midnight on a school night, obstructs access and so on. I went to see solicitors to sort the problem out and all they are doing is emptying my bank account and not achieve anything. My wife refuses mediation, refuses to talk to me in a hope that burying her head in the sand all problems will go away. There is a lot more to say but I regularly cry now and a large part of me has died. The CSA take £290 a month. I am also a police officer and for years have condoned domestic violence. I still do but understand why some people feel the way they do and why they do things. I have reported domestic incidents to the police and they have the cheek to tell me that my wife’s fraud and theft is civil! I am disgusted with the police and embarrassed to be associated with them. I am considering resigning and becoming unemployed allowing me time to see my son, get legal aid and possibly have a better lifestyle on benefits. It frustrates me that there are so many good parents out there who can’t see their children owing to ridiculous judges, policies, bitter parents and many other factors. I now have a new partner who is very loving a supportive. Without her I wouldn’t get through all this. I would also like to thank everyone who has put comments on this forum because it does help us all.

  50. Antony on February 14th, 2012 5:08 pm

    Women have far too much power when it comes to the child, full stop.
    The justice system always sides with the mother, the father, grandparents and your child are the biggest losers. I understand why good men want to give up and not work, it’s so expensive if your having to pay for a solicitor, not to mention it’s a waste of money women have the Goverment don’t want to address the issues, mediation is a waste of time, example:-

    My wife only reason for attending mediation was to get legal aid, I still have to pay (as I work) it’s a joke, I often wonder if I’m also better on the dole or un-employed I’d like FREE legal aid, more help from the Goverment for not working.

  51. john on February 27th, 2012 12:34 pm

    oi fed up civil servant shut your fucking mouth you idiot, i would love to come face to face with someone like you and squeeze the fucking life out of you, you aint got a fucking clue, csa is all for the child fucking bollocks wipe that shit from your mouth you idiot. The csa have never been for the child they couldnt give two fucks, and yes they are a run for profit company and it has been proven, they push nrp’s in to a corner so they have no option but to give up there job or commit suicide, the amount of innocent lives the csa have claimed is unbeliveable and that is only the ones we know about. It is a corrupt government system that should be shut down and go back to going through solicitors and going to court to decide that was fair, the system they have now is not, who the fuck do they think they are going to there employers and taking monies direct from there wages that is UNLAWFUL or applying a liability order to there home what happened to human rights and the bil of rights, its so unlawful its unreal and WHY is this allowed to happen??? because it is the good old BRITISH GOVERNMENT SUPRISE SUPRISE this should not be allowed to happen it would not be allowed to happen in any other country. RANT OVER

  52. Gill on March 7th, 2012 8:37 pm

    I’m at the point of stopping contact between my ex an his children. 1.he’s a violent selfish man,sorry boy!,with anger issues. 2.he wont pay for his children because all he wants to do is go out and get drunk and take drugs.I know he loves his children but I am not prepared to put them in danger as they’ve witnessed several fights before when staying at his mums house,most of these between his mum an dad believe it or not,now I know where he gets it from! He has been violent to me in the past an calls me horrible names in front of the kids,to which they have called me aswell.I’ve told him that I’ll claim csa an all he says is “you do it then an I’ll jus come out of work an claim dole cos you’ll only get a fiver a week”,how immature!! I have social services notes from him crackin open my head in the past an also for the children witnessin him gettin beaten up by his cousin,while his mum an dad watched from a distance,SICK!! I did want the kids to have a relationship with him because he is their dad but now I want to stop contact completely. I don’t know what my rights are but will speak to a solicitor soon.I just wanted to say that I am one of the minority of women that undr different circumstances I would love my kids to have a relationship with their dad,as I am so close to mine,but some men don’t make it easy to come to that decision

  53. Lisa on May 26th, 2012 9:27 pm

    Can i just say… My ex hasnt paid a penny since my son was born, you men complain about csa but thats not even close to what parents have to pay monthly to look after your child! me and my partner pay 500 pound a month just in nursery fees! thats not nappies, clothes, food, days out toys etc etc! if you dont want to provide for your child then wear a condom!

  54. John on May 30th, 2012 5:20 pm

    The CSA are no different from the Nazis in my opinion!! They care nothing for the child, its all about money!! It should be renamed the Government Support Agency!! I spent £3000 on a solicitor trying to get access to my 8 year old daughter, that was 4 years ago, she rarely turned up, and when she did and got threatened with going to jail for not turning up, she then turned round and said she saw Daddys willy!!! Well surprise surprise!!! A bitter twisted bastard she is but I never thought even for her she would stoop so low!!! And as for CAFCASS, what a set of useless bastards they are!!! I hope they ROT! As it is I now have a £15000 bill, a £411 DOE order, I used to pay £287 a month through DOA right, I got a bill, I said what about the £287′s? They said what £287′s? EEEHHHH!!!! So I had to send them all my payslips, they didnt even know about them!!! Talk about the height of incompetance!! So that was 3 years ago, got another bill for £15000, oh and guess what? No £287′s on there!!! I refuse to talk to them!!
    The day someone killed themselves over the CSA is the day it sould have been scrapped for good!! I fucking HATE them with a passion!!

  55. Jane on June 24th, 2012 9:55 am

    My partner was in a relationship when he was younger and made the stupid mistake of trusting this women. His own fault but he didn’t use protection, she stopped taking the pill and got herself pregnant. He stuck by her until his on was 3 months old, he didn’t want to be in this relationship but was there for the sake this son. He left and and we got together a couple months later. She has put him through hell f mor the last 11 1/2 years. She didn’t except he was with me at first and kept trying all sorts to get him back. My partner on a regular basis paid her and tried to see his son once a week when she would allow. He has had times when he is out of work due to the nature of his job and therefore been unable to pay sometimes. As soon as he has money coming in he pays her some money. The problem is she is on benefits, is sat on her arse all day, playing computer games, eating KFC or Chinese. When my partners son was young we would pick him up at 11am and he would still be in his nappy from the night before and he would still be in bed. We’ve paid out extra at times for electric or food for the kids (she had another kid with another like about 3 years after) as she said she hasn’t got any. She is so money orientated it drives my partner insane. “can I have my son this week?” “have you got money?” this was the conversation every week. We moved abroad and were out of the csa jurascriction so didn’t have to pay so instead we brought his son over for holidays spending money on new clothes and toys for him to takehome. We have since moved back to the uk and my partner has worked for a couple of places that have closed down.
    It’s got to the stage now that if he hasn’t got any money he won’t contact her to see his son as he knows what the answer would be. He now hasn’t seen his son for 18 months, she’s changed her number, won’t answer the door I him or his family and has told his son nasty things about him (which aren’t true). I believe she has cut all contact because we now have a child together.
    He wants to see his son, but we can’t afford a solicitor and earn too much for legal aid. We just about get by on the money we have. She has just found out he has started a new job and is contacting the csa (heard on the grapevine).
    It’s not fair he will be paying for her luxury whilst we suffer, he would be much happier to pay for food clothes anything he really needed but doesn’t want to pay the csa for her to put straight in her pocket. (his son goes round in dirty ripped clothes, and on several occasions when we’ve picked him up at 3pm not had anything to eat that day even tough my partner has paid her £50 a week.)
    It’s such hard work when all he wants to do is see his son, there is nobody out there to help fathers they are all for the mums, and this coming from a mum. I support rights for fathers because I’ve been on the other foot and know hat it’s like.

  56. Dan on June 26th, 2012 6:26 pm

    I paid £700 child maintenance per month and £700 spousal maintenance per month for 3 years.

  57. bryan frater on July 1st, 2012 7:11 pm

    due to money problem i decided to work away from my family i would travel back every 4-6 weeks and send money every month, the plan was to find a place to live and move the family 235 miles away but as time went on i realized i know longer loved my ex, from birth i raised both my children as well as working full time hours after she had an affair and i took her back she fell pregnant with our second child by pinning the condoms i used but i forgave for the children but as said working away made me see that love had gone so i decided to end the relationship, after ten months i have met someone who has children from a previous relationship and decided it was time to tell my ex this at which point she has stopped my contact i earn only 600 a month but pay 200 maintenance without question as well as extras for school clothes and bit n bobs i have no issue with the amount i pay as it is my duty as a father but i could no longer stay with her as i did not want my children to believe that our relationship is how it should be, there is more i could say but my question is this if i decided to travel down pack their bags and bring them back to live with me what can she do under law to stop this

  58. chall on July 2nd, 2012 8:27 am

    Quote bryan frater on July 1st, 2012 7:11 pm;

    ‘my question is this if i decided to travel down pack their bags and bring them back to live with me what can she do under law to stop this’

    It depends…
    How old are your children?
    Is a Residency Order in place?
    Do your children want to live with you?

    chall ~ afairercsaforall

  59. michael on October 18th, 2013 9:13 am

    i am on a very low wage and have a family to support i dont mind payin child maintance aslong as i no its goin to my kids in gettin the things they need however this is not the case it is infact goin towards my exs husband drug habbit i have complained to social services and csa about this to no avail i dont think i father should pay csa if he dosent get to see his kids (to no fault of his own) and if it is not being used for what it is supposed to be used for csa are total rubbish and frankly have no idea what they are doing

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