What can my partner do to see his kid?
January 28, 2015
Hi I was just wondering where my partner stands. My partner has a son who is now 6. The last time he seen his son was when he was 1.
My partner pays csa faithfully every month for his son but whenever he has asked his ex for contact she refuses. Is there anything my partner can do?
How will my partner know if someone has adopted his son? He feels as though he’s waited too long.
Written by Jade 2801 · Filed Under CSA Advice
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1st of all why is it you and not he that is enquiring and secondly why as he left it this long to see if there is anything he can do. For me this is 5years too late. He should have got off his backside sooner to have a relationship with his child. Neither do I condone the child’s Mother for coming between Father and son and using him as a weapon. I don’t agree that she will take his money every month but won’t allow contact that just makes her a vile cow in my books. There are a couple of things I can suggest having been through all this with my O/h ( who by the way looked into doing something to safe guard his relationship with his son straight away) 1: apply to court for a contact order, yes you have to pay a few hundred quid but that’s nothing in the grand scheme of things. Don’t bother with a solicitor, they cost way too much money and he can represent himself at least then what ever the courts decide is in black and white and must be adhered to. 2:look into a group called Families need Fathers they are a great group and will advise and support your O/h through this they can also arrange a Mckenzie friend for your o/h who can help in regards to court hearings and attend with your o/h if he wants. Mckenzie friend will ask for out of pocket expenses ie travel and food and drink and maybe charge a small fee but no where near what a solicitor asks for. Lastly every bit of correspondence your o/h as with his ex tell him to keep it because 1 day his son will want to know where his Dads been and the best way to deal with that is not to slag off his Mum and put all the blame on her but rather show him all the correspondence so he can make his own mind up about who was right and who was wrong! We have kept everything txt messages letters court orders and we also opened up a bank account for him. We now have my o/h sons every other weekend and half of school holidays. It’s not an easy process his ex often wouldn’t let him see his son but eventually she had no choice as the courts got fed up of her breaking court orders and threatened her with prison. Sometimes you will feel like giving up and like your banging your head on a brick wall but it’s worth it. Good luck
It is not always so black and white. Scottish court system a joke. Spent thousands still no contact down to a vindictive bitch and a poor system
I agree, it’s not always so black and white. Your partner sounds like he got lucky with the judge as I have never heard of a mother being threatened with prison. I can completely see why some fathers ‘give up’. It’s made imossible to see their own children because of a spiteful, vindictive, bitter ex that’s on a power trip and playing god with their childs life. I really wish the courts would be like in America, looking at whats best for the child rather than enabling the mother to carry on her pathetic games! I really hope your partner gets to see his son soon.
My partner has contacted her on countless amount of occasions. He doesn’t want to take it to court purely because he wants to sort it with his ex like mature adults.
My partner was young when he had his son which I know is no excuse, but he pays £400 to her every month. I just don’t think that if he’s to pay she can say no to him seeing his son?
When he phoned up they made the joke of ‘tell your current partner to become pregnant then she won’t get half as much’ it’s not about the money. It’s about seeing his son!
he isn’t even on the birth certificate so how is his son going to even know his dad is?