The consequences of their unprofessional standards are too significant to ignore
July 20, 2013
i will keep this as brief as possible . Before i left the marital home my ex wife and i AGREED on both the amount of time i would spend with my two girls AND how much money she would receive each week . So far so good . this arrangement lasted about a week before she started to not be in when i went to collect the girls , or not be in when i went to return them the following morning .
Her behaviour over the last four and a half years escalated from that first week and can only be described as child abuse . Needless to say i have put up a fight , and continue to put up a fight , using the system we have in place in this country . Over the last four and a half years this woman has made me have countless (unpaid)time off work due to her drinking .
She has kept me away from the girls for weeks on end on many occasions for reasons ranging from ” if you dont give me £2 for some washing powder then you wont see the girls ” to “because i said so ” (too many to list) . On top of all this she started telling the girls terrible things about me and telling them (in front of me )not to go to daddy’s (again too many to list . add swearing ) . She has physically restrained them many times when they have wanted to leave ( because i refuse to argue with her on her doorstep ). We have joint mortgages which have both been in major arrears due to her miss management (drinking) . For two and a half years i continued to pay the agreed amount , bailed her out of her (our , but she lives there) financial cock ups and continued to bear her appalling treatment of OUR children . Then on yet another occasion where i had to take an unpaid day from work i told her that from that point on , if she costs me , it comes out of her pocket.
I simply could not , financially , continue shelling out all this money bailing her out time and again , paying her money for the girls , staying on top of my own affairs AND , having unpaid time off .
Q the arrival of our mutual friends from the CSA. The ex quickly found that the less i see my children , the more money she gets . Q lots of time away from the girls , time she spent consolidating her position by alienating me from my girls . I took her to court at great expense whilst being bullied and threatened by the c s a . i pay’d what they told me to pay and obtained a court order so i could see my girls . Since the court order the ex has continued in the same vain . i took her back to court on only one occasion ( out of a possible 23 ) for breach of court order ( she was drunk and in no fit state ) , i won , i ended up £300 down , she laughed in my face . in other words the courts did nothing . she continued to miss manage our joint mortgage so i applied to the c s a for a variation on the amount i was paying , so i could pay back the arrears and use some ( only £50 per month) of the £225 i was paying to ensure that a roof be kept over the girls heads . They asked her , she said no , i did it anyway . As a result i built up arrears of £608 , they tried to take it from my wages so , i quit . they have since won a liability case against me in the courts , im not going to pay it .
They have , in conjunction with the ex , taken away my position of responibility within the lives of my own children , i am not , and have never been , in a position to make any decisions regarding the well being of the girls . As things stand after four and a half years of lies and abuse by my ex , my girls are scared , thats right , scared , of me their father and no longer wish to see me . So i will list the major flaws i have found with the way he csa operates .
:Once a claim has been made , thats it , there is no amount of reasonable argument or evidence to get shot of them . The only person who can do this is the person who made the claim . I feel they should take the time to determine whether their involvement is necessary before reaching a decision .
:All decisions are made by the claimant .So far , every course of action they have taken has been at the behest of the ex , they simply contact her and she decides .
:They bully , threaten and , are generally rude , even their information booklet ( remember , its just an information booklet ) has a picture of a judges mallet on its cover . These people are dealing with individuals who are going through what is potentially the most traumatic experience of their lives . Vast amounts of sensitivity are a must or they will end up pushing people into taking desperate actions .
They have a system in place where by they can make it look like they are supporting children . We all know how wrong that is .They are quite literally a law unto themselves . The laws which apply to them are deemed unlawful in any other situation for various reasons ( too many to list ) :In short do an appalling job of supporting children . In my view , they should not exist . The consequences of their unprofessional standards are too important to ignore .
Anyway , rant over , keep up the good fight .