Mother denying that I ever supported her – advice needed

May 9, 2013

Hi I have an 8 year old son, i split from his mother 1 and half years ago. We were not married, we lived together and I supported her, when we split i paid her £100 a month plus i had him 3/4 days a week. I am not on my sons birth cert and I want to do this for taking him on holidays etc. She will not do this. I have been advised to pay her the money through CSA as a way of proving that I am his dad and I do provide for him as she is telling everyone that I do not provide.She is on benifits and claims single parent. I told her that I will be paying through CSA from now on and she said that she will deny that I ever supported her and I will have to pay for past 8 years! Is there any truth in this? Have you any advice that I can follow?

Comments

  • wilf says:

    Tom:- Avoid the CSA if at all possible.
    If a case is opened you only pay from the date of application.

  • eddie says:

    Good advice from all. the CSA assessment will leave you unable to take your child on holiday and will damage any relationship you have built. Have you considered going through the courts or making another legal arrangement? The only way that you can prove you are the father is through a DNA test.

    good luck and don’t lose hope.

  • tom says:

    In reply to Melinda

    The mother did not put my name down as the father as she wanted to claim benifits as a single parent and registered him by herself. I only became aware of my name not being down on certificate around my son starting primary school. I have been asking her to put my name down since we split up but she will not!! she done the same with her other 2 children and their father. I want to be totally responsible for my son and if I could have him living with me I would!!!

    I have not seen my son in several weeks now, Looks like it will have to be court. And I think I will set up a standing order and avoid the CSA Thank you for your replies

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