Mother denying that I ever supported her – advice needed
May 9, 2013
Hi I have an 8 year old son, i split from his mother 1 and half years ago. We were not married, we lived together and I supported her, when we split i paid her £100 a month plus i had him 3/4 days a week. I am not on my sons birth cert and I want to do this for taking him on holidays etc. She will not do this. I have been advised to pay her the money through CSA as a way of proving that I am his dad and I do provide for him as she is telling everyone that I do not provide.She is on benifits and claims single parent. I told her that I will be paying through CSA from now on and she said that she will deny that I ever supported her and I will have to pay for past 8 years! Is there any truth in this? Have you any advice that I can follow?
Written by TOM 2013 · Filed Under CSA Advice
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She can only make you pay 1 1/2 years also If you are not on the birth certificate you don’t have to pay.
Avoid the CSA at all costs, they will just bleed you dry, you will soon become a cash cow for the CSA to be milked dry and sent to the knackers yard after
Also IF and only IF you will have to pay via CSA, NEVER do it by DIRECT Debit. Only Standing Orders
By the way did you pay cash in hand? If so a very bad idea. Never pay to ex in cash. Either to the bank acc with adnotation: child maintenance or by cheque. That way you can prove in court that she is lying.
For a good advice get in touch with http://www.fnf.org.uk
They literally saved me from a lots of mistakes and helped me to withstand the bullying of my ex.
Love it how women don’t want the dads on the birth certificate and claim you not the dad but yet are happy to take money of you
This is what is called a greedy PWC all about the money not the child.
Tom:- Avoid the CSA if at all possible.
If a case is opened you only pay from the date of application.
Good advice from all. the CSA assessment will leave you unable to take your child on holiday and will damage any relationship you have built. Have you considered going through the courts or making another legal arrangement? The only way that you can prove you are the father is through a DNA test.
good luck and don’t lose hope.
That is incorrect….. even he isn’t on the birth certificate, he can still be asked to pay.
I don’t understand why you are not on your son’s birth certificate…. it is not for the mother to do so for you, in the same way that she couldn’t have put your name on it if you were not present…. something does not ring true on that point. Many men wrongly believe that they will not be legally responsible for their child if they avoid putting they name on their child’s birth certificates, big mistake….Anyway, best find a provision agreement which does NOT involve csa if you can… and nothing that involves cash….. any money changing hands, please use the bank, always. In terms of backdating with csa, your ex can only be expected to receive anything from the start date of her claim. Best wishes.
I had a direct debit from my account to my exs…. When she got the Csa involved I had statements proving this… The Csa said this could have been a gift .. So while I was paying my ex via the bank unbeknown to me debts was building up against me… Csa suck ass…
In reply to Melinda
The mother did not put my name down as the father as she wanted to claim benifits as a single parent and registered him by herself. I only became aware of my name not being down on certificate around my son starting primary school. I have been asking her to put my name down since we split up but she will not!! she done the same with her other 2 children and their father. I want to be totally responsible for my son and if I could have him living with me I would!!!
I have not seen my son in several weeks now, Looks like it will have to be court. And I think I will set up a standing order and avoid the CSA Thank you for your replies
si should have used the reference for the dd maintainance then she couldn’t dispute it