I’ve never missed a payment but my money just won’t stretch anymore
March 14, 2013
My story is rather complex, but I had a one night stand around 5 years ago and bingo we have a lovely little girl. I have always supported the mother with cash, but she was boardline stalking me and begging me to love her. When I had rejected her she created false profiles on FB just to talk to me and other the 5 years of knowing her I have had to change my number twice.
Since our little girl was born in 2008, I offered to pay £150 a month and have never missed a payment, I’ve even offered more money and have paid for care for the mother before now.
She lives in Gloucester and I live near watford and for a whole year I paid, looked after my daughter every 2 weeks and all on my own with zero support. Then one day she decided the travelling was too much for our daughter and stopped access, with only offering me visits at her house (which were very uncomfortable, often her trying to lead me upstairs and playing happy families). In this time I was in a relationship for 2 years and she even threatened my then girlfriend on FB. I have offered mediation twice (officially) and she has rejected twice.
Now the CSA… About this time last year I put a foot down about the harassing and said that if she continued to harass me I would go to the police (now I have always paid for my child and have never missed a payment). After I had threatened her with the police I thought great, as she had stopped harassing me. Then I get a letter from the CSA, now I have to pay £270 a month, with limited access, even though she says I could have her now again after reintegrating. (I went round at xmas time and from this woman having a decent enough lifestyles as she has kids benefits as it is, she now has iPhone 5, loads of drinks, xbox and I heard arranging messy nights out, when my budget is limited).
The real problem I have (well there are several lol) is that I take home 1900, I pay 270 for her good lifestyle (probably about a 3rd goes for my daughter) I pay 300 on petrol a month (I live 25 miles away from my work) I pay 500 rent (not including bills food etc), 100 a month car insurance (took up driving when my daughter was born), I pay 60 for my mobile, in about 2000 debt, I live in a shared house (cannot afford a flat), my daughter lives 100 miles away (so if I’m to have her that would be a 400 mile round trip), I’m just unsure of how I can afford to be a realistic father to my daughter?
If I did manage to afford a flat or a flatshare, I would be driving close to 2000 miles a month, paying 270 ‘CSA’ a month and then god knows what I would be spending on petrol, treats and days out for my daughter?
I’m in a tight spot with absolutely zero support from anyone?