I am the mother and I am funding my ex through the CSA
January 3, 2013
I have two children both boys, when my ex and I seperated about 5years ago due to his drinking and other abusive behaviour, my eldest son at that time was age 13 wanted to stay with his father when I asked him to leave our then rented accommodation, I was not happy with this but his father left the home with him and did not tell me where he had gone with my eldest son(the police were called) they went to my ex’x mum’s house and confirmed my ex had gone there with my son
I went through a solicitor and was told that it was Daniel’s decesion what parent he stayed with because of his age and I had no proof of living in an abusive marriage, my ex then informed child benefit that Daniel was living with him, he then informed csa and put a claim in against me because I work full time csa worked out that I should pay maintenance of £45.00 per week to my ex for my eldest son, I put a claim against my ex for the son living with me and I get a flat rate of £5.00 per week, when Daniel reached 16 and finished education his child benefit was not active so c.s.a closed the case and I no longer was required to pay the maintenance.
I now had a phone call and forms sent to me because my ex has made another claim against me saying he wants me to pay maintenance again, c.s.a do not tell me what Daniel is doing e.g colleague or training course.
I have the right to be told what he is doing as my son does not contact me due to his father’s say so, I still have to look after my 15 year son who lives with me, can you please tell me or expalin to me that my son who lives with me does not get the amount Daniel get through c.s.a because I can not afford it as they will not take into consideration my outgoings, I pay rent to a private landlord I work 35 hours per week, whilst my ex has been sitting on his backside for the past 5 years claiming of the Government and he has a girlfriend and a child with her and I am funding this disgusting behaviour, I l know 100 per cent the money I give to c.s.a is not going to my sons welfare but to his father’s back pocket for his drink and drugs fund, and my son and I are struggling and being punished because the c.s.a do not listen to my case and I am being penalised because of the rubbish system.
I would give my life for my boys but what is causing my the utter most disstress is I am funding my ex’s luxury lifestyle and the system are choosing to turn the other cheek and dont want to acknowledge this. How is that fair and how is this benefiting my son who has to see my cry and upset due to this, how is this system helping my son and his welfare, how can I save any money for him when I have to fund other people’s luxury lifestyle whilst they sponge of the Government and get everything paid for, the system needs to listen to each case properly it is making me wonder why do I get up every morning to go to work when people like him have it all handed on a plate to them.