How do you avoid paying the CSA?

March 2, 2010

Starting new job. How do I not pay CSA? Or pay really low £5.

P.S. any fans of PWC jog on. I dont care what you have to say. Any people talking about morals or being a good dad… bla bla bla
Jog on. Did all that, got me no where just in debt.

So ill say again how do I avoid not paying CSA? Maybe when I go to work use a friend’s national insurance number? Ask a friend to open a bank in his name?.

Any comments relating to avoiding CSA please, nothing else.

Comments

298 Responses to “How do you avoid paying the CSA?”

  1. james on March 3rd, 2010 8:55 am

    Good question mate-i seem to be in the same boat as you. but unfortunately i have no solid answers- ill let you know if i find anything out and vice versa.
    GOOD LUCK

  2. Karen Bedford on March 3rd, 2010 9:16 am

    You are a very sick person who wants to ensure that your children suffer, it is not about paying the PWC it is about supporting your children, I hope you get help and I hope your children will not grow up like you, a bitter person, I dont judge all NRP just because my ex (a NRP) is a liar and commits fraud, obviously Im a better person than you.

  3. flint on March 3rd, 2010 9:40 am

    shut up bitch, get a job stop weeding money out of the nrp, don’t try and use the moral crap with me, i have seen to much men suffer thinking they where doing the right thing, now look at them? some of them are dead, some of them are homeless, pwc ask for to much money use the csa to course harm and distress, keep the child away from the nrp, so shut yr mouth, u fat bitch, as the question stated don’t give me any moral crap i don’t give a fuck. im looking after number 1 me. so keep yr fat comments to yr fat self. you don’t no my circumstances get a job u cunt pwc, are all the same as fare as i am concerned, i hope the bloody.. Muslims get there own law in this country. u know why? so they can stone all pwc who try and make the nrp life not worth living by taking all his money leaving him to live on nothing. then having the cheek to take his house, then saying u have not got the money u know owe a debt. well fuck that shit. if u can not afford yr kids keep yr legs closed and stop having kids that the man did not agree to maybe yr body but its the mans sperm. end off.

    P.S WHY ON EARTH DOES THIS SITE GIVE OUT YOUR IP AND YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS NOT VERY SAFE IS IT.

  4. Michael on March 3rd, 2010 12:53 pm

    Tone it down a bit Flint, for your sake.

    …and this site doesn’t give out emails or IP addresses, unless we want it to!

  5. Karen Bedford on March 5th, 2010 11:05 am

    I dont weed any money out of the NRP, he doesnt support his children, goes and has more and continues not to support them properly when he earns a lot of money. There are a lot of PWC whether men or woman also having problems too and suffering, have suffered, etc. Dont judge me as you dont know me, dont judge me like your experiences. Obviously you would be a perfect case of domestic abuse with the words you chose to use. LOL fat – far from it in fact, Im into fitness and work full time, again another wrong judgement. My ex decided not to keep in touch with his children, he had every opportunity to see his children but he let them down and caused them more upset and harm then when they decided not to see him. I can see you are looking after no 1 – so your children suffer, what a good father that is – not! It takes 2 to have a child and two people should support that child also. I never took anyone’s house, I dont own mine but my ex owns his. Well I suggest that men, especially ones like you, use contraception to make sure no child has to suffer having a ‘father’ like you.

    “P.S WHY ON EARTH DOES THIS SITE GIVE OUT YOUR IP AND YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS NOT VERY SAFE IS IT.” – obviously you have something to hide?!

    Michael thank you obviously Flint is a very disturbed person!

  6. Gary Hilton on March 5th, 2010 4:25 pm

    well im looking to avoid paying any more money to the CSA. I had an ex partner who thought she could do whatever she wanted when she wanted, leaving me to babysit so after countless warnings, Id had enough and left her. It was the hardest thing to do but she didnt care, as soon I was out of the door she was on the phone to the CSA! She told me that I will never see my kids again, stay away or you will get a visit from her brothers! So fearing serious bodily harm, I know she wasnt joking as they have done time for it before I stayed away. Since then I have paid the CSA money, then stopped paying after a while, jacked in work several times and moved house several times. My payments were made when they cought up with me after a court appearance then I would move again and stop. Now I know for a fact that she wasnt short of anything and that she worked cash in hand as well as claiming benefits but obviously failed to tell the CSA! I only stopped paying the CSA through protest because she stopped me seeing my kids, there was no point in trying legally to access my kids as her threat with her family is still on even now. I know that as me and my mate bumped into one of them in town one night lasy year and it ended up in a fight which ended up with me and my mate knocking him out! I then find out that before my second child was born she was sleeping with her best mates brother every week for 9 months! I told the CSA this but they said its up to me to sort a DNA test out but I cant afford one plus I dont know where she is, they wont tell me. Now I owe over 25k in arrears and im in court soon to be sent down for 42 as I have missed payments on a suspended sentence I had from the CSA the last time I was in court. I just wish some women would stop harping on about bad dads! Some of us want to be good dads but arnt allowed to be. Whos the victim now?! I am refusing to pay now as my kids are 19 and 16 and have left her so the money that I should be paying will be going to the government and not her as she has already been paid in benefits so she wont see any of the money anyway! I fully expect to be sent to prison but I will not pay another penny again. What are they going to do when im released, send me down again? How many times can they do it anyway does anyone know?! I would like to hear if any magistrates are reading this, doubt they will let me know anyway! lol

  7. flint on March 6th, 2010 2:12 pm

    hey gary, sorry to hear whats going on with you, i really hope something good happens for you, after all when it comes to all that you have to look after number one which is yr self…what good would it do putting you in prison is beyond me that’s just stupid.

    …as for “karen beford” the only fitness training you do is a burger in front of the telly and yr csa money being put into the bank lmao if you working why you so concerned with csa. he has not bothered with his kids bcos he can not afford it. what do you expect for him to say its cool, ill be ok with csa robbing him on your behalf. yr man finished with you dont be upset about it, move on lol. you pwc are all the same. stop making excuses u still love yr x and it hurts so your using csa. we all know its true.

    AS FOR THE IP ADDRESS, ITS ABIT LIKE GIVING YR HOME NUMBER OUT, WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO STRANGERS, HMM I WOULDN’T BE SURPRISED IF THIS WAS A GOVERNMENT RUN CSA WEBSITE. CHECKING IPS AND IDENTIFYING PEOPLE HMMMM. PEOPLE BE WARNED! USE A PROXY, TO HIDE YR IP. WE DON’T WANT PEOPLE LIKE KAREN BEDFORD ACCUSING YOU OF BEING THE DADDY OF HER KIDS THEN GETTING CSA ON YOU.

    p.s gary stop paying csa yr doing yr self no favors. dont let people use the moral card and you and make yo feel bad. its your life. unless yr willing to kill yr self fair play. if not find ways not to pay, and some how get an income. people are now saying self employed is the way or claim benefit work on the side. don’t use your own national insurance number. im still working on a solution for nrp to have an income with out paying csa.

  8. flint on March 6th, 2010 2:28 pm

    P.S TO GARY.

    You can be sent to prison only if the magistrates believe that you ‘won’t pay’ rather than ‘can’t pay’ your debts (that is, you have deliberately refused to pay, or you have chosen to spend the money on other things you didn’t truly need).

    If this is the case, the court will probably make a ‘suspended committal order’. This means that the magistrates will set an amount for you to pay each week or month. You will be sent to prison only if you miss any of these payments. If that happens, you will be sent a warrant to be arrested and brought before the magistrates. You cannot be sent to prison without another hearing, although you may be put in police cells overnight.

    If you receive a warrant, you should:

    * get expert advice, if you can;
    * prepare a personal budget statement by setting out all your income, expenses (what you spend your money on) and debts;
    * contact the person who issued the warrant and ask them when you need to attend the police or magistrates’ court.

    WEATHER IF YOU CAN PAY OR NOT. JUST MAKE SURE YOU SAY “YOU CAN NOT PAY” RATHER THEN YOU WONT PAY. CANT PAY IS THE BEST OPTION THAT’S WHAT I USE ALL THE TIME. SO IF YOU HAVE TO GO COURT SAY TO THE JUDGE YOU CAN AFFORD £1 A MONTH. LOL THAT’S WHAT I DID WORKED A TREAT. SO I PAY £12 A YEAR UPFRONT TO KEEP THE CSA OFF ME FOR A YEAR AND IT COMES IN FOR REVIEW. WITH I A YEAR I WORK THEN WHEN CSA CONTACT ME I STOP WORK CLAIM JSA, OR HARDSHIP ALLOWANCE. IM MOVING SOON SO ALL THIS CRAP WILL END NO MORE CSA THEY CAN NOT TOUCH ME IN JAPAN. TO DO SO WOULD BE AN ACT OF WAR HAA HAAA

  9. Michael on March 6th, 2010 3:21 pm

    An IP address is like giving your home number out? This is a government run website?

    Flint, you’re giving non resident parents a bad name. You’re the sort of tool that man-hating feminists are always complaining about.

    There are some real money-grabbing PWCs on this website, but not many. Most are in the same boat as the rest of us, getting screwed over by the CSA. There are a lot of NRPs (mostly men, but not all) who genuinely can’t addord to pay and are being hounded.

    You however are a muppet. By the way, stop writing in uppercase. It’s what nine year olds do on video game forums.

  10. flint on March 7th, 2010 12:18 pm

    Micheal.

    Your the kind of idiot who would be working for the csa, and hating nrp just bcos you can, to state give the nrp a bad name you really should go out more and meet people, maybe get an education, learn to debate people not to argue, go to the gym do some exercise, eat health food broaden your mind.

    your narrow minded, pathetic, ignorant fool! you say i give nrp a bad name? i was not aware they had any name or reputation attached to them except for deadbeat dad?, , regardless what you think as the title state how not to pay csa, you should wake up i have no reason to care about the pwc in any circumstances i have done my research on the matter and its disgusting, how may pwc kill them selfs? non! bcos they can not afford to live, with the pressure of court trying to see there kids and not getting no where. learn to read i don’t care what you think about my comments. your the kind of person who try to be the favorite to impress the girl to show you have some sort of a good heart. wake up you idiot1 life is not like that. we all know what a good person is. some one who will fight for the kids. and still the csa system lies, they blame the fathers who don’t pay stating there bad dads, putting them down all for what? money, but the truth of the matter is they an not afford the rates what csa i want, then even if you do pay, they want more and more. Then you magically from the csa you end up in debt. i have seen story after story being the same.

    so you see Micheal, open your eyes learn the facts and stop being a person who will do anything to look good and be the champion your fake, 2 face, and not to be trusted and you know this Micheal, you don’t have many friends, you have no women and no one really likes you, and you know this is true. so before you start talking your random slang using words like i.e (Muppet) know your place don’t punch above your weight. as the title suggest i don’t care about comments to do with pwc. just solutions. now get off this page, know your role and shut your mouth.

  11. Michael on March 10th, 2010 1:42 pm

    Learn to read?

    Learn to spell you imbecile.

    I am a NRP and I haven’t seen my kids for over 2 years because their mother refused to bring them to contact sessions. Courts could do nothing and I ran out of money trying.

    That doesn’t give me the right to slag off every PWC because not all single parents are mothers, and not all single mothers use their kids as weapons. Equally, not all fathers have abandoned their kids as you have.

    I don’t need to argue with you, every comment you post shows what an incredible cock you are. So please, keep it coming.

  12. flint on March 10th, 2010 4:06 pm

    so micheal,

    you are the nrp, you have not seen your kids for 2 years and you ran out of money trying?

    well your a dead beat dad, you not trying hard enough. and you come on here acting all god or mighty you hypocrite. and and look for you kids and pay all your money there is no such thing as running out of money unless your homeless. you are not homeless i gather so keep paying and keep trying.

    how dare you come on her and act like Jesus lmao, your more like Judas. you not trying hard enough go and look for your kids, you owe them that much.

    in regards abandon my kid not kids, where did you get that from? you making up little moral story’s again. i will not cry about my circumstances as you have.

    you circumstances or trivial and you should look for your kids and pay the money to do so. your a dead beat dad you have not tried at all i ma ashamed of you. most be some other bloke bringing up yr kids now with your x-wife or girl, looks like she dumped you for another man now you need to pay-up. poor poor Micheal

    no need to call me a cock now is there. as i have stated before no interest in your silly little fake story’s just want to know how one can work with out paying csa over the top payments.

    regards too my spelling so sue me.

  13. Michael on March 10th, 2010 4:19 pm

    I’m sorry, I only speak English.

  14. emma on March 28th, 2010 5:54 pm

    OMG like the man
    he wasnt asking for any one to preach
    everyones circumtances are different , so dont be so quick to judge
    there are so many girls out their that say that they are on the pill when they r not
    and get themselves pregnant without the mans consent , just to try and keep them
    and when they walk away cos they werent ready to be a dad or that girl werent the girl for them , they go running to CSA if you made the decision to have the child by yourself deal with it yourself END OF

  15. flint on March 29th, 2010 4:56 pm

    EMMA.

    I AGREE WITH EMMA. I WISH MORE WOMEN WHERE LIKE HER. GOD BLESS YOU AND MAY HAPPINESS AND WEALTH COME YOUR WAY FOR THE FUTURE. TOTALLY AGREED.

    I MAY SELF WAS NOT WITH THE GIRL WHEN SHE WAS PREGNANT WITH THE CHILD WE HAD BROKEN UP AGES BEFORE THAT. 8 YEARS LATER I WAS TOLD BY CSA. FURTHERMORE IT WAS NOT AS IF SHE DIDN’T KNOW WHERE I WAS I HAVE BEEN THE SAME PLACE FOR 15 YEARS, WHAT ANGERS ME IS I WAS NEVER CONSOLTED WEATHER I WANTED TO EVEN BE A DAD, OR EVEN KNEW .

    NOT AS IF I WAS WITH HER WHEN SHE HAD THE CHILD AND LEFT HER WAS NOT EVEN WITH HER TO BEGIN WITH. THE TOOK IT ON HER SELF TO HAVE THE CHILD. NOW WANTS ME TO PAY MONEY TO A KID I HAVE NEVER SEEN OR KNOWN. AND THE STUPID COW HAS KIDS OFF OTHER MEN AS WELL. WHY HAVE KIDS YOU CAN NOT CLEARLY AFFORD?

    ALLOT OF WOMEN DO THIS IT JUST STUPID

    I CALCULATED IF I WENT TO WORK CSA WOULD TAKE £600 A MONTH (BACK DATED) FROM MY WAGE MY TAKE HOME PAY WOULD BE £56.99P AFTER PAID BILLS AND RENT. A MONTH. IM BETTER OFF CLAMMING BENEFIT AND WORKING ON THE SIDE OR GOING SELF EMPLOYED.

    GOOD JOB EMMA, I GUESS ALL WOMEN ARE NOT THE SAME AND HAVE SOME UNDERSTANDING ON DIFFERENT CIRCUMSTANCES GOOD JOB

  16. Norbert the git on April 1st, 2010 9:06 pm

    I’d love to have kids but all this CSA stuff has really put me off. I know so many people who’ve been screwed over. In this day and age not many couples stay together forever.

    It is often said in the UK there is an ageing population. Perhaps more people would have kids if they weren’t terrified of what would happen if they broke up with their partner and were hunted down by the CSA. Fair enough there has to be a system in place but I’ve read that £1 in every £1.85 taken from the absent parent’s pay goes towards adminsitration costs. Surely there’s got to be a better and more affordable way of doing things if that is true?

    Correct me if I’m wrong about anything I watch from a safe distance.

  17. nadine on April 30th, 2010 4:55 pm

    my husband has an ex who never took her pill (yes i know it takes two, but in a committed relationship theres meant to be trust) she found out she was pregnant and emptied his flat when he went to work and she has been on benefits for 5 years. she lives in a different city and has contacted the csa to get money from my husband. i have a 3 year old with my hubby and i fail to see how a scumbag like that receives my family’s money????? its disgusting as he has never seen the child and when he was in her area workin she phoned the police without even speakin to him its lassies like that who give us respective mothers a bad name. if anyone has any advice on how to screw this bitch over let me know

  18. SuperDad on May 8th, 2010 4:50 pm

    I am currently considering leaving my current partner who refuses to work and has forced me into working myself into illness to pay the mortgage. I have two jobs and work 6 days a week, I also am a part time carer for my Grandad, I still fit in the time to b a good dad to my son who is 2.
    If I kick this sponging cow out, I want joint custody. Can anyone advise me how I can avoid massive CSA payments? I will be left with the mortgage and all the bills and I have lots of debts on credit cards and loans after having to completely support her expensive lifestyle and demands. She would just move into her Mums, who is just as bitter and poisonous. Do the CSA take into account everything you have to pay out including cc payments and fuel etc??

    Many thanks. Oh and Karen or whatever your name is, why dont you FUCK off this page as you are not welcome. Women today are predominantly vile selfish greedy bitter creatures who want al of the perks of an old fashioned relationship but none of the downfalls.so go and take your bitter words somewhere where they will be heard like down the toilet or some pathetic ‘feminist’ split ass group site.

  19. graham on May 17th, 2010 6:50 pm

    i have been summoned 2 court by the csa 4 the sum of £5188 but i had already paid my ex back in nov 2003 the sum of £60,000 as a one of payment with a tr1 land registry on my property. 2 stop her going the csa but what do u know she still went 2 them and they say we dont care we only care about taxable earnings!!! so i said ok am a selfemployed company director and earned £5255 a year and sent them my statement of accounts from my chartered accountants and tax office and they said we no u company directors can hide money they would say that becuse it would mean me only paying £5.00 a week maintenance and £5.00 arrears and they dont want that so they want 2 take my driving licence away or a warrant of commitment 2 prison!!! tell me there is some justice in these country

  20. flint on May 18th, 2010 3:28 pm

    sorry to hear that young man. there is no justice, just people who make you feel guilty for not taking care of your child. well that’s what they want you to think, so you will pay and pay and pay until you realize it was for nothing. please don’t fall for the moral judgment people place on you.

    you have to be selfish and cut the moral part out. i can only advise you to check out this site http://www.deadbeatdadsassociation.co.uk/.

    its purely for non resident parents, they can not commit you to prison, they have to show your not willing to pay. just pretend you are willing to pay but can not afford it, they can not throw you in prison if you can not afford it.

  21. Imogen on June 8th, 2010 7:44 pm

    What a load of wankers you all are. I hope your children will want nothing to do with you. You are all selfish pricks

  22. tony on June 15th, 2010 10:43 am

    ADVICE- just been to court for not paying and having arears of some £20,000.

    they threaten the jail and driving licence trick ( only if u refuse to pay)

    Im self employed and as such my accounts show i earn hardly fuck all (;-0)

    I offered £10 per week they werent happy but hey ho cant do nothing cos thats all i have free (my cigs allowance on the form was £40) which they said should pay csa and thats where £10 came from.

    didnt refuse to pay so they cant enforce prison or licence just said i was skint.

    the rest well a bit of juggling and not been so honest and my real money is safe.

    dont let the bastards scare u.

  23. tony on June 15th, 2010 10:47 am

    and just for those on the moral high ground.

    i left my ex with everything house car etc i left with 5 black bags…..

    my kids have a good life better than mine in comfort with good clothes etc …my money the last time a paid went on a new car for the ex….(i dont think thats fair and that sure as hell aint happening this time)

    if the money went direct to the kids then i wouldnt be so bothered it doesnt thats the problem.

  24. flint on June 15th, 2010 3:36 pm

    good job, dude… they can not send you to prison. if you pay what you can afford. don’t let them have yr money ,all you are is a bank. an easy bank to get money out of. forget the moral ground. don’t even think like that anymore its a waste of life, look at all the men who have been and done that, got them no where but homeless and on the streets.

    if u have to go court again and they threaten jail and stuff say to the judge “you wont a trial by jury” it is your right.! you can not pay what you can not afford, he will then back down these people have been putting people in prison illegally over the past few years and no one knows about this unfair treatment to men who can not afford to pay, even if they can still does not warrent prison.

    keep your money safe for your self don’t let these cock suckers suck your money out for there end of year party and new expensive clothes for your x we all know she was living of your money

    good job

  25. tony on June 16th, 2010 7:03 am

    to any guys out there worried and stressed about the shite the csa throw….dont be …….i spent a while trawling the net and looking up information, didnt understand it all but helps your confidence and makes u realise your not alone and there are ways to deal with the csa. Dont believe anything the csa says or writes and ur on a winner…….they use scare tactics and misleading information from start to finish….

    in court there legal guy was all mr nice to my face….and comments like we dont want to send you to prison we just want to get a resolution in getting the money back……

    and dont think u have to do anything illegal to get a result ….just some clever thinking and a little twisting of the facts…….just like they do….words can mean very different things depending on how they are used

  26. tony on June 16th, 2010 7:08 am

    just some facts from my case….

    its taken the csa 10 years to eventually take me to court.
    they issued 3 liability orders for three amounts
    they never and still havent responded to my data release request – action in progress
    bailiffs have been round before but i sent them away – never came back
    i used a duty solicitor in court no expensive legal rep.

  27. Jo on June 29th, 2010 11:55 pm

    Tony

    I understand where you’re coming from. However, I’ve been waiting for the CSA to get some money from my ex for 14 years without success. Attachment of Earnings so he left his job and has been self employed ever since. Three liability orders in place but nothing. He makes no attempt to see the kids who are now old enough to draw their own conclusions about their dad.

    From what I can see the CSA make easy targets of the NRPs who are willing to support their kids and lots of effort if the money they get in goes to the Secretary of State.

    Being a single parent was never my plan, I didn’t CHOOSE to bring the kids up on my own. Because my ex has done everything to avoid supporting his children I’ve had my house repossessed and had to take a second job – I’ve worked 7 days a week for the last 11 years meaning that I’ve lost out on so much time with the kids when they were growing up. Not all women are money grabbing, lazy bitches, some of us just want a bit of financial support from the absent parent.

    I am in total agreement that the CSA are not fit for purpose though.

  28. Susan on July 22nd, 2010 3:03 am

    I happen to work for the CSA.

    Flint – have you ever heard of the saying that it is better to keep your mouth shut and have the world think you are an idiot than to open it and confirm everybody’s suspicions?

    As regards working without paying – we will catch up with you in the end. And then you will have to pay. Before you say that debts can’t be enforced after 6 years – wrong – this debt will go to your estate once you die.

    House seizures are a reality now – not a myth. I know that because I made a referral for one which was taken.

    As for self employed directors who claim minimum wage PAYE and then pay themselves in dividends to avoid paying maintenance – you will have a rather nasty shock when there is a massive bill sent your way following a variation or departure for dividend income and/or lifestyle inconsistencies.

    My best result so far? A gentleman who claimed he earned not a penny but paperwork summoned from his accountant including his tax return showed he earned over £50,000 a year. What happened to him? He’s now got a criminal record.

    The fact is that we attempt to be fair, but if there is deliberate avoidance then there is every reason for hardball treatment.

    So, flint, be ready for that knock on the door from the bailiffs.

  29. lc on July 24th, 2010 10:00 am

    to susan
    how the hell do you attempt to be fair ?? you seem highly satisfied that you put nr parents in debt, take their homes & leave them with no money to pay out on their own homes you dont even take their circumstances into consideration & how much money they have coming in as long as the GOOD old CSA get enough money for the exs it does not matter to you of how they will manage them selfs and most of these children and exs are living in luxury i dont blame the nr parent for packing work in thats the only way most men can keep a roof over their heads after what the CSA take from them a month !
    and you all at the CSA love the threat of the bailiffs along with the rest of the threats you say to the nr parent your all so big and clever knowing the nr parent as not got a chance in hell against you but if they threatened you , you’d press charges against them hope it makes you happy leving these men not knowing which way to turn or what to do or even suicidal !!!!!!

  30. lc on July 24th, 2010 1:28 pm

    nice one (flint above) good luck to you mate
    hope they dont catch up with you keep the idiots running. wish i could do the same but they got me on an attachment on my wages didnt know anything about it !! they wrote to me once on the 10th july 2010 then told me they wrote to me twice before but cannot produce the letters saying they would have to type them up again, in other words they never wrote in the first place pack of lies,then they told me they had a telephone conversation with me!! we dont have a land line & only my wife as a mobile so when asked if i could have the number they rang to speak to me they said we cannot disclose that infomation !! they are LIARS iv never had a telephone conversation with them !!

  31. lc on July 24th, 2010 1:48 pm

    and also take 350 a month off me so it leaves me & my wife struggling we dont know what to do or where to go for advice csa wont drop the payments and wont take into consideration that we have out goings of 900 pound a month so we are left 300 pound in debt every month but the csa tell us that not our problem !!
    YES IT IS THEIR PROBLEM BECAUSE THEY HAVE CREATED IT they should take into account nrp parents out goings before deciding how much to take out of their wages !!!! and passing the money to the exs ,along with the child benifit ,child tax crdits and no doubt working tax credits and no doubt the live in partners full time wage!!! lets face it the exs & the kids are WELL TAKEN CARE OF !! ITS NRP THAT SUFFERS

  32. gemma on July 28th, 2010 7:53 pm

    not all residents parents are fat money grabbing sluts as flinty so nicely put it!!!

    me and the ex came up with a more fair to him finacial agreement to which he used it as a weapon against me every month!! the agreement was £150 PCM ive received a grand total of £450 in 17 months!! just goes to show dnt it!!!

    he told me to go to the CSA so i did, now the wanker is claiming he has left his employment just to get out of paying, claiming JSA while working on the side and thinks its funny!

    she is his child just as much as mine, he has chosen not to c her.

    I DID NOT PLAN HER ON MY OWN, MAKE HER ON MY OWN YET I WORK FULL TIME, CARE FOR HER ON MY OWN AND PAY FOR HER ON MY OWN!!!

    yet I do agree the csa take too much from the NRP hence the reason they run and dnt wanna pay!

    well i hope all you men wake up 1 day and c its the kids who r suffering, u all should be castrated!

  33. gemma on July 28th, 2010 7:59 pm

    an average child cost £150,000 to bring up from birth to the age of 18.

    150,000/18 = £8333

    £8333/12 = £694

    for those narrow minded selfish idiots who obiviously didnt finish school the last figure is the monthly figure a child costs!!!

  34. honest white male on July 29th, 2010 11:40 pm

    acording to the above SCUM a innocent man who dosent want to pay white man tax is allowing his kids to suffer DONT MAKE UP FILTHY LIES

    the womans on benefits the mans money i.e payment goes to the goverment not the up keep of a child or more the woman gets a £10 top up on her benefits SO HOW IS NOT PAYING THE CSA making kids suffer thats ether a mental woman or agoverment troll making DUMB posts like that CSA has nothing to do with child care its 100% a stelth tax on males prefebly white THAT IS PROVEN FACT
    why does a childs life ALLWAYS come to money with woman and the goverment £££$$$$ total BS

    why carnt a father go to the cvhild with food clothing and other such up keeps

    OHHHHH NO WE CANNOT HAVE THAT CAN WE ITS ALL ABOUT THE £££££££££££

    there is no conection to child povety and non payment of CSA in existence !!!!!

    if you want to avoud this sexist taxation it is easy follow the advice i will now give you !!!!

    imply your a woman hater imply your a risk to children PRESTO BECAUSE A CHILD OR WOMAN OR ANYPONE FOR THAT MATTER CANNOT BE PUT IN DANGER they cannot chase you it would be putting people at risk(not real risk your not really going to kill them or something) you PRETEND your a head case PRESTO your case is closed

    learn how the corrupt system works then use a loop hole LIKE I JUST EXPLAINED TO YOU WINK

  35. I HATE THE CSA on August 24th, 2010 3:33 pm

    To the original poster, Gemma (you sound like a right lazy bitch) and susan who works at CSA; how do you like these apples? :) *He says with a smirk as he has done this already and it works perfectly fine thankyou very much!*

    Here are you’re answers on avoiding the CSA:

    1) Get your work to put you on a contract; pay yourself the full amount so your not lying about your income minus EVERY EXPENSE YOU ARE ABLE TO REDUCE YOUR TAX BILL FOR ..the csa work on your NET salary not gross at the current time of writing ..

    The following expenses are listed as excemptions in CSA booklet CSL102

    You will need:
    -A good umbrella company (there are many google it) can help you…
    -A job or employer willing to pay you Umbrella or Self employed and willing to let you handle your own tax affairs

    Expenses include:
    -Car payments/Lease if you travel for work
    -Petrol
    -Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner
    -Equipment costs up to £1000 per year
    -Training costs up to £1000 per year

    Lets say you earn £500 per week in your contract; your expenses can EASILY be made to look like £350 or more of this quite legally, you only pay tax on the remainder and therefore all the csa can calculate you on is £150 per week net. Off to a good start :)

    2) Apply for a variation; make sure you live as far away as possible. Don’t live that far away? No problem. Get a PO-BOX on a light user scheme, this doesn’t cost much, all correspondance will be sent in writing to and from there; Apply for a change of circumstances and ask for booklet CSL102 (they wont want to give it to you but have to if you ask for it)

    This details all the valid expenses and things you can deduct.

    So far by doing the above; you have told no lies and not broken any rules. just used the CSA’s own documentation for your own ends..

    I ended up paying CSA £22 a week using this method whilst earning over £500 per week!

    Is this still too much for you? Well i support my daughter in other ways; i have shares for her, money put aside for when she is 18 and wants to buy a house or get her first car; or pay for university even!!

    As a contractor, All the other items are tax deductible, this legitimately reduces the amount of income CSA have to calculate your income on.

    ——-
    Option 2: – want to go all out – don’t want to pay a dime? Read on!

    1. Rent a property in dublin; and write the CSA a letter informing them you have left the country (Postmark from Ireland so you actually need to go!!)

    2. quit you’re job or ask for unpaid leave for a few weeks, get a p45 and forward it with the letter.

    3. Agree with work before you do this that you need time out for personal circumstances; and dont want to be liable for NI whilst you are away; but want to return to work at a later date.

    4. Do NOT Tell them the true reason for you wanting a P45 or a month off! as they will more than likely refuse;

    5. After the storm is blown over, and the CSA case is closed; return to the UK a free man. you again are under no obligation to inform either your ex, or the CSA that you have returned. You are NOT a criminal and they do not have the right to keep tabs on you

    You are under no obligation to inform the csa where your new job is either when you leave for ireland; or when you return to the UK, only that your old one has ended.

    Additionally; getting a payrise? got one already? you don’t have to inform the CSA of this. additionally they cant backdate this payrise; so if you get one.. Keep it quiet; pay up on time and they will very rarely question you and dont be stupid; if you want to buy a new car; keep the old one for that trip to the ex’s!!

    Option 3:

    Perform a swindle – (Works if your company isnt really based in the UK)

    -Contact someone in Ireland and ‘rent a room’
    -Visit ireland and stay for a week (use your work holiday time)
    -Send the CSA a letter from Ireland, stating you’ve movedo ut of their durastiction and send them the companies house reg’d company number you work for.

    They will see it is registered in another country and both you and they will be under no obligation to respond to any CSA letters sent.

    Request for the case to be closed and wait a few weeks;

    -Again return to the UK a free man when the case is closed

    -If they c ome after you again; repeat process and leave for Ireland once more.

    When you are outside of their durastiction; you are not liable for backpay. they can NOT accrue backdated payments if you live outside of their durastiction!

    For these to work you must keep your ex in the dark, as soon as that greedy PWC knows your back in the UK they can re-ring the CSA and have to open a new case ..

    ON another note… the CSA will hate this; as everytime they will have to go through the process of opening a new case everytime, and that can take months.!!

    Nice :) Happy hunting — and SHUT UP PWC’s- i am merely answering this dude’s question; Don’t be a fool and get played; just wise up and play the system within the rules and they can’t do you !

  36. I HATE THE CSA on August 24th, 2010 4:05 pm

    Forgot to mention :: £22/£500 = 4.4%
    Thats a damn shyte cheaper than the ripoff 15%!

  37. andy on August 27th, 2010 2:33 pm

    I have just tried to get the form CSL 102, got the run around and now they tell me that they have not heard of it as most on their booklets start in the 300’S any help
    please, any one a got a copy i can use or where i can get it off the internet please?

  38. Aaron on August 31st, 2010 4:18 pm

    I just need help and dont know what to do?
    My story i know some people will say its all my fault and i agree in some off it but not to blame for all of it.. I have 5 children to three different women.
    I have a 13yr old who i have been paying since 2002 from attachment from earning. But i have large amount of arreas as i never knew she was mine as it was a one nite stand. Got in touch with her mother and fella they said they just want the money… Told the csa they said its there problem got to go through the courts but with know money find it hard.

    Second child was married to the mother she wanted me to buy her old council house and put it in her name said no put it in joint names as we are married. Well say no more but we are not together as thats all she wanted.

    Have three other children to my ex splet up after having no help leaving the forces see my children 15nites a month informed the csa and they keep reassing my situation everytime but having no answers they say i owe £19683 arreas. They have attachment from earnings again but they take large amounts of my wages know i dont mind paying but how do they expect me to live as they take this mont £790 leaving me not alot as they dont take rent out of it. This kills me as its my lads birthday and i cant afford to buy him ANYTHING.

    I have asked for a statment of how much i have paid as surly this is not wrong of me asking. Im sure a an agancy they will have documents stating how much i have paid and when… This aint a sob story just want help on how to reduce my arreas as they say i have to pay it off over two years but my children are suffering and the agancy put so much pressure on me its killing me slowly.

    Can anyone help me please Thanks

  39. I HATE THE CSA on September 2nd, 2010 11:39 pm

    TO ANDY ****

    I will scan and upload CSL102 for you tomorrow – send me a mail address and the copy is yours

    Just to reconfirm, i live in the UK, earn a decent salarty and pay no CSA. as long as my ex doesn;t know — then im a free man!

    the secret to this is to keep everyone in the dark

  40. I HATE THE CSA on September 2nd, 2010 11:46 pm

    To AARON

    Sounds like ure in deep fella

    In my opinion; your best off leaving the country for a few months and letting the cases close

    this wont pay off any arrears you owe; but it will prevent them coming after your wages whilst you save up a buffer.

    if your coming back dont be a fool and TELL THEM OR YOUR EX that you are back; the arrears cant resume that way. you’ll owe them but the csa will think their unenforcable due to you being outside of their durastiction.

    My advice: if your gonna come back to the uk; make sure your not working for a UK company;

    get a job you can do remotely; dont tell the csa when you get back

    my heart goes out to your kids you sound like a great dad; like me this evil company has persecuted you to the point of desperation

    Take a stand and best of luck!!

  41. MARK on September 7th, 2010 10:33 pm

    Lets have your views please
    A one night stand 10 yrs ago and hey presto a girl now after 10 yrs she has now gone to the CSA and it looks like i will have to pay £270 a month!!!
    I have a lovely lad with my wife who I love very much and been with 16 years and she knows of this child
    I cant afford the money but hey they dont care…..
    Thoughts????

  42. Mim on September 30th, 2010 2:40 pm

    My god, the country really is on it’s knees. To think that our grandparents went to war to defend this? A load of shameless, worthless, dead beats who sit around blaming everyone else for their misfortune, meanwhile it’s only the future generation who will suffer. Well done – what a legacy to pass on. Your ancestors would truly be proud.

    Ps – well done to the US judge who jailed a dead beat dad for 4 YEARS this week for failing to pay child support, let’s hope this new government take a look across the pond. I will certainly be lobbying Parliament for it……..

  43. CSA VICTIM!!! on September 30th, 2010 7:31 pm

    Theres not really much choice! If your a honenst person who wants to work and wants to do the right thing these bloodsucking parasites will take you for every little penny you have regardless of your outgoings!

    They are very one sided, usually for the PWC, rude, obnoxious, misleading and very threatening and intimidating.

    Usually supplying a constant stream of YOUR hard earned wages to some fat, bennefit grabbing, Jeremy kyle watcher who thinks that for some reason they are entitled to a percentage of your wages because they cant be arsed to get a job and provide for the child!

    I know this first hand and would not wish these people on my worst enemy!
    I do believe that a child should be supported and I have always paid my child maintanance privatly until THE POISONOUS DWARF found out she could get more through them.
    Another example of a money grabbin,good for nothing (but breeding more kids) selfish mother who would rather pay for driving lessons that clothe her children properly!!

    Cut a long story short try and resolve it privately, if not then you might have to jump in the boat with the rest of us!!!

    I must say that I was quite inspired by Flints comments

  44. kaz on October 13th, 2010 1:46 pm

    i have been with my partner 3 year and we have a 9 month old baby! a few months before we got togther he slept with a complete skanky tramp of a hoe who calls herself a woman!! ….. the parasite told him she was taking the pill ( i also know my partner was totally thick as pigshit for not using something) and 6 months ago he gets a letter from the csa demanding payments for a child he had assumed was someone elses as she was in a reltionship!! after a dna the child has been proved to be his!!! and we have recently gone into debt consolidation trying to pay her and the child she decided to bring into this world!! i have a child from a previous realtionship that didnt work out i have never asked for a penny off her dad he see’s his daughter 2 nights and a full day a week and clothes and feeds her during his time which i am grateful of !! the decision to have my daugher and my son was a joint one in both relationships unfortunatley one didnt work out!!……….. where the hell is the mans right when it comes to being a father!!! i know people will say wear a condom but that isnt 100 percent either.. are people going to start saying dont have sex with a persdn unless you want a baby or unless u want a couple of hundred quid leaving ur bank account every month!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we did refused to pay but csa just docked it straight from my partners wage!! no1 else has that kind of right to go through works payroll!! not even debt collectors etc why do the csa and money grabbing bitches have this high power!!! i have seen the girl with this child and she is a shit mum to and has had her boobs done with our money ………. she should of got her face sorted first

  45. reanna quinn on November 8th, 2010 11:38 pm

    flint??…this question is for you………….

    What happens when my partner tells me that ‘im the one’,wants me to move in and wants a child with me???…..what happens when i finally fall pregnant after 2yrs of trying and he is over the moon!!! He then starts thinking of baby names and rushes out to buy paint for babies room….. Then BANG…Arter 3months he kicks me out with nothing to my name!!!!

    Is it ok for him to buy hiself really expensive clothes and numerous pints of beer every weekend while im pregnant and HOMELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I DONT THINK IT IS!!!!!!!!!!!! SO YER FIRST THINGS FIRST IM GOONA HIT HIM HARD WHERE IT HURTS,……C S A!! And the fact that my child will be supported!!!!!!!!!!!!!! x

  46. tony on November 24th, 2010 9:25 am

    And to those that condemn the dads……

    Most and yes i mean most woman see the csa as an easy money earner…not about the kids its more about they want easy money for an easy life regardless of the effects and its not about giving the kids a better life, it means they can pay a babysitter so they can go out and get legless….

    or a new car…..or a holiday…..

    There are a few that are genuine and to those i support cos its the selfish money grabbers that give the genuie struggling parents a bad stereotype….

    If the system was fair and people treated fair then the csa would get far more respect and response.

    But there not and thats not going to change under any of the governments…

  47. Charles U Farley on November 24th, 2010 2:38 pm

    Oh, bloody buggery sodbricks! I just spent ages typing what was in all modesty a great post, and my computer stuffed up! I shall try again…..

  48. car;la on November 24th, 2010 7:29 pm

    Im shocked how bad some dads can be lol and i though my ex was bad.
    You complained that girls get pregnate just to get csa but if you were as clever as you think you would use a condom….
    I was in a solid relationship before i fell pregnat and by the time we split up we had 2 boys he claims he loves them and wants to spend time with them, i agree with them even because his kids need him too but everytime csa tracks him down on his new job,he quits and gets a new one.So tell me is this fair???? Us mums need to feed them dress them treat them an be there for them “happy to do it” if not the social will thake them from us, so y should i let him see them,i do feel guilty from doing it but why should he get it easy and get all of the bennefits of being a parent if he doesnt act like one. AS for you FLINT i think it would be better if you stayed out of their lifes and dont let them see the piss of shit that you are or just kill yourself and do them a favour… thats the best way to avoid paying…

  49. Anon on November 25th, 2010 11:31 am

    To Gemma

    £694 a month to keep a child!!

    Wow, I have 3 children so that means it should cost me £2082 per month just for them, then all my bills etc on top!!

    Guess what, I don’t earn that amount of money each month, pay for a mortgage, food, bills etc. and my kids are very well provided for thankyou very much.

    It is this kind of ridiculous figure that is banded about that makes PWC’s think that they are entitled to it!!

    I work my butt off to provide for my kids, they stay over regularly each week, I have no problems providing for them. I was married to their mother for 7 years before she decided to have an affair, yet I am the one paying for it financially!!

    She is sitting pretty in her Council House, with all the benefits under the sun, goes on holiday 3 times a year (usually to Spain), all on the back of my CSA payments!! I can’t afford a holiday abroad, let alone a break in this country with the kids. (oh by the way, she goes with her friends whilst I have the kids!)

    I love my children more than the world, but my CSA payments DO NOT benefit them.

    The CSA needs to be shut down, and quickly.

  50. Darren on December 17th, 2010 7:54 am

    Only sure way is to move abroad and I mean out of this fuckries Babylonian shitstem cos they could probs still get at you in the EU – I’m thinkin’ Cuba

  51. CSAHater on January 3rd, 2011 7:42 pm

    The only way i think you can get away with not paying a penny is to scare the mother into not wanting any money from you.

    If say for example the mother doesnt want you to have any contact with the child. Harp up saying you dont feel comfortable paying moeny for a child which you are not permitted to see. Be careful about saying or demanding “your” rights. Phrase anything as “the child has a right to” and twist it to suit your need.

    The main care person can stop the CSA claiming money from you at any time. So get sneaky, and make it worth their while not to have your money.

    Fight the good fight. Fuck the CSA and the stupid amount of power the goverment has given to them. The most one sided crappy stupid retarded acency ever. Fathers should have a version to screw over the Mothers.

  52. csa-cocks on January 20th, 2011 8:41 pm

    just the sound of ‘CSA’ reminds me of the worst case of the shits I have ever experienced

    NRP

  53. csa-cocks on January 20th, 2011 8:47 pm

    Reading the stuff on this page reminds me of how pissed off I am with the CSA system and how it deals with NRP’s
    some of the comments here are quite harsh but I think it is important to show how angry NRP’s are. Thankyou moderator for keeping this stuff available for people to read

    I am waiting to celebrate the death of the CSA

  54. Me on February 9th, 2011 9:59 am

    Flint…..your a prick.

  55. lee on February 9th, 2011 6:54 pm

    best thing is to change ur names

  56. blackpool-donkey on February 11th, 2011 10:43 pm

    for andy and any1 else wanting it csl102

    http://www.dsdni.gov.uk/csl102.pdf

  57. blackpool-donkey on February 11th, 2011 11:08 pm

    if your looking for ny other leaflets just change the number in the web address, ie. for form cls109 http://www.dsdni.gov.uk/CSL109.pdf

  58. grouch on February 17th, 2011 9:58 pm

    The people here who say they will stop work and not provide for their children disgust me.

  59. grouch on February 17th, 2011 9:59 pm

    The CSA need more powers to deal with dads who will do everything to avoid providing for their own flesh and blood

  60. joker on March 9th, 2011 9:38 pm

    my ex has got csa on me now there taking 25% (120) of my wages a month might not seem alot but i only come out with around 700 amonth for full time 40 a week im only 23 and iv got rent to pay,car insurance and odd debt here and there.I cant belive the cheek of my ex she is 21 now has got two kids to differnt dads got a nice 2 bed house thanks to the tax payer claims every benifit she can even tho she works part time and to top it off the new boyfriend who is not down as living there works full time so the cheeky slag still thinks shes entiled to my money even tho i never go out drinking because i have to watch my money as im on nm wage and i dont like borrowing from people, the first payment is at the end of the month and after iv payed up im left with 376 to last me how is this fair someone should name and shame the people that work/want to work for the csa because i would love to knock on there door and say hello and thank them then leave for there brill work

  61. shamless on March 17th, 2011 2:06 am

    Offshore limited companies and offbank accounts ie outside UK jurisdiction.

  62. john on April 13th, 2011 6:24 pm

    well im chilling my wife took everything off me when we devorced ,fuking bitch ,but guess what i thought fuk it let the fuking goverment look after me , so i claimed rent of 500 a month for my sis ,i got my teeth done free i drove a car got caught delibratley , so i was locked up , so they had to feed me had a tv pool etc , love it in prison , so what t i do now is just go around pissin about etc , try to rip off the tax man , me and my mates working on that rip the fuking barsteds off millions , youl hear about it 1 day on the news ,its only a matter of time .. fuk theis country uk and the bithes ..

  63. Kate on May 14th, 2011 2:03 pm

    Right people, we need to do something to get the CSA closed. Any ideas??? They are crippling my family with the money they want off my husband.. For all the women on hear moaning they want money off there ex’s GET A GRIP!!! Give your kids to there dads, Im sure they would be happy to look after them and you pay them CSA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  64. Terry on May 26th, 2011 3:57 pm

    I have been finished with the CSA for about 3yrs, my daughter is now 22, yesterday I had a letter from them saying that the case is closed……outstanding arrers £2800……Hey, I payed by standing order till she was 19….I phoned and a guy rang me back after 2hrs saying he still couldnt find out what its for, now this is someone who has my file in front of them, wtf, hes looking into but no doubt the letters will keep coming and coming and coming and coming and coming and coming and coming and no one will beable to tell me what its for….

  65. moon123 on June 10th, 2011 1:01 pm

    Just read through this, this is all so sad.

    My ex Won’t pay any money as he always says he has none but he does as he has a good job. If he didn’t want to know his daughter I would never have asked for a penny but he does buys a doll or something when he visits (once a month), we live 2 hours from him.

    It is only 15% and he went beserk saying he would have loads of visitation etc etc so I have left the CSA as I don’t want him dictating to me for the rest of my life. This man also ran away when I was pregnant and treated me like crap throughout the relationship, cheating etc. Anyway the point I am trying to get to is some men, not all HATE to pay their ex anything, they do not see it going to the child, they see it as going to you and sorry but they don’t love you anymore so they detest doing so. So if they occassionally come and see the kids and buy them a few and a bits and bobs and take them for lunch or something and you have a quieter life because of this and they can afford the CSA (because some genuinely cannot, not my ex but some) then let them keep their 15% because you have won, you have your child full time and that is worth more than any money they would give you anyway. When their children grow up and learn the truth they will have zero disrespect for him if he had the money to pay so like I said ask yourself what is more important their 15% worth it and an insane amount of stress, control and hassle till their 18 or a peaceful life of happiness with your little one/s. I personally would rather do 2 jobs than have his money. It’s just my opinion.

  66. sara on June 29th, 2011 9:55 am

    ANYONE who chooses to be such a low life and not provide for a child they have made should be sterilized and their dirty, disgusting mug shot plastered all over the web so that girls that should have more sense will know what vile men there are out there that in my opinion should be disposed of permantly, especially that twat Flinn. evil piece of sht

  67. M ucas on July 23rd, 2011 4:48 pm

    Is the man with a the advice about defrauding the government not concerned about the inand revenue looking you up? If yoiu think they can’t find you, then you are not only a dead beat dad but a stupid one at that. Let us all know when they get you.I for one, will be pointing them in the right direction. Sleep well

  68. natalie on August 15th, 2011 11:46 pm

    just stumbled across this. very interested how a man who is seeking tips on how to prevent paying for his child tells a woman who ‘apparently’ can’t afford to feed her own kids to “keep her legs shut”. same advice for you then mister, if you can’t afford to keep your own then keep it in your trousers! i myself personally have no wish go to the c.s.a, and that’s not because i feel low life pathetic excuses for fathers such as yourself have a right to deny their offspring money. i prefer to think that when my child grows up and realises the stuggles i’ve gone through to put clothes on her back and food in her mouth (with or without government money) she appreciates what a mother i am and what remembers me for the things I’VE provided rather than the one off expensive present her ‘father’ manages once a year! all of the ‘men’ who are expressing like minded opinion of the asker of this question should be castrated!

  69. The Winner on August 19th, 2011 12:07 pm

    “Quote Karen: I dont weed any money out of the NRP, he doesnt support his children, goes and has more and continues not to support them properly when he earns a lot of money.”

    Well gee whiz, you sure picked a winner to get knocked up by :)

  70. Wilson on August 23rd, 2011 7:36 am

    I wonder if the goverment would rise to kick off’s like the little toe rags did last week. or the students did. seems to be the only way out. I wonder if they would answer to that, millions of men saying no more! or how long it will take for NRP to snap under pressure. you ask any MP to live like this.

    200 per month on fuel
    100 on Ensurance
    50 per week food
    360 CSA
    90 Council Tax
    500 rent
    MOT
    Car repairs
    Electric
    Gas
    Soap tooth brush shower gell.
    Entertainment for the kids “Comic” thats your lot if your lucky lets draw ont he walls. play hide and seek for the next 15 years. youll have to wear the shity clothes your mother provides for life ASDA speacials while she dresses in nice clothes actin a slag with your money.
    1200 already before you add the rest having heating or lights is a luxury. I get 1400/ out of that i pay CSA. you tell me what your supossed to get your kids on there birthday???? explain that to me these single women dont suffer. I seen them driving new cars. driving past the X thats walking to work and honkin there horn and they have a partner that works and earns more money. how do you expect some one not to snap. I’d expect somthing in the news soon enough. and why the goverment havent stoped this clear breach of human rites is because these women will cry to the system and they cant afford it. cant afford kids dont have them. or give them to the NRP. cheeky women ranting about abuse to get things fast tracked. one day youll all have to pay it back if not with money by the resentment of your kids for blocking access to the kids so you get max CSA. Hell will have women! MEN stay clear of women and be Gay or stick to beating the meat. Sick bitches! how is this fair on a man. you tell me. ripping him off for all his money. for what to have nothing. the kids cant even go out they get bored of going to daddys and hes a no body because he has nothing to give them. apart from love kids want days out DVDS sweets clothes holidays. dad will live in shit for years. and the mother gets the lot. new goverment policy if you have a child and you cant afford one they will go into care and you’ll be forced to pay the system. both parents. why is it all the farthers responcb

  71. Wilson p on August 23rd, 2011 7:54 am

    Sick of the CSA. will some one say somthing find out a way to pay less CSA.

    I cant breeth. life is tuff.

  72. Clare on August 25th, 2011 11:00 am

    Natalie, totally agree with some men being castrated, then maybe they wouldn’t fall foul of some desperate women that decides to make a life changing decision for the poor bloke by saying she’s still taking contraception when she’s not just to trap him. Maybe some women should be sterilized!! There is two sides to every story and its not always the blokes fault. Just remember that.

    I’m ashamed at some women!!!!!!!!!!!

  73. jo on August 26th, 2011 12:42 am

    Hey, who the hell would not want to provide for their kids.. bleeding ek just paid £600 for uniform £120 for fitted shoes, still need to get p.e kit and trainers so another £200 + to be spent for the basics with no spares …… so there is many months or so of CSA payment for 3 kiddies!!!!!
    never mind the £36 per week bus fares …. £60 per week dinners….. All this with £25 a week from the ex who earrns £25k per year and some how gets away with not much more, does not bother now seeing his 3 kids coz he cant be arsed!!!!
    Get a grip people kids cost money!!!!! How can you not want to help out with the cost of them! this place is really in ruins ;-(

  74. Stacie on August 29th, 2011 2:57 am

    Hey I’m female and have to agree with the guys on this one- all the PWC think about is how to get one over on their ex’s. If they were thinking of their children’s welfare they would cut the CSA out and ask the NRP for clothes or other things their kids need- And why is this based on salary?! Surely if the CSA take in to account the salary of the NRP they should look at the PWC income too and it amazes me that some NRP can be paying £5 a week when others pay £75- how can one child cost 70 quid more than another?! They can’t exactly- so why is it not fairer on the NRP and why can’t the CSA tell the PWC that, if they are to process the PWC claim, that theNRP must see the child as often as THE NRP would like- they should have as much say as the PWC does on what the money goes on, the two of them did after all create this child/children together- even if it wasn’t a joint decision. Children need role models and by scrounging off another person because they are bitter the relationship ismover or for whatever the reason is no example to set a child. I’m not disputing kids cost money but really, when most PWC make that CSA claim the last thing they are thinking of is nappies or food, it’s usually childcare for when they go out and spend their ex’s money when, if they just let their ex look after his or her child form the night when they wanted to go out they could save a he’ll of a money on childcare and the child wouldn’t feel like their mum/dad who they never get to see, doesn’t want to see them. To all single parents out there who have agreed to accept money from their ex’ without the CSA being involved- I have so much respect for you- you are the people who have the decency to accept that the relationship is over and that there are ,ore important things than getting your own back on your ex- you’re the caring parents who have thought about your children and not used them as pawns in a fucked up game to suck as much money out of your ex as physically possible.

  75. sally on August 31st, 2011 11:04 am

    i agree that not all fathers are the same..but my ex is the lowest of the low….no Christmas, birthday cards or presents for is children…just not interested..doing his best to continue to avoid paying CSA at moment by registering himself as a managing director of his own company..consisting of himself and 2 moth eaten allsations! When the CSA suggested that he make token payments of £5 until the case is sorted out he refused on the grounds of his assessment might say he has a nil payment decision! This has been going on in one form or another for 5 years now..he has amassed arrears already but I am rapidly giving up hope of ever getting a contribution from him…strangely enough him and his mother just can’t understand why his children hate him!!!!! There are some wonderful fathers in the world who would do anything for there children, my current partner is one of these, but there are some pathetic excuses for human beings who don’t deserve children. But when these men are old and lonely, with no grandchildren or children coming to visit them on their birthdays or at Christmas, maybe they will look back and reflect on that old saying…..what goes around comes around…..

  76. TAFFY on September 1st, 2011 12:31 pm

    I was married 10 years had a daughterin the marriage found out ex wife was cheating i left divorced her she also told me i would have to take her to court to get access to my daughter which i could not afford, left her with car £140k home furniture struck a deal with her and solicitors she gets house with no maintenance or she pays me half the value and ill pay her maintence. Now i get taken 60% of my wages i cant afford to work as my fuel bill is high and not being left with enough money now after working since i was 15 now 39 it looks like i am going to have to pack in work as im unable to afford what the csa want and my living expenses with just rent council tax and fuel for car im skint no money for food gas electric clothes. Wonder if the government have breached my human rights. She just spounges off the government with her benefits and dla even though there is nothing wrong with her just lazy. Thanks CSA you have made me unemployed.

  77. tom on September 6th, 2011 3:19 pm

    Hey Taffy,
    CSA only take 15% for one child less your PRIVATE PENSION contribution, which is deductable AND you get it back later etc, so take half the house value and get your own place. She can’t have maintenance and CSA, one cancels out the other.
    Get smart fast and protect yourself.

    I would never suggest it but after a pension is sorted, and the starting up fees are covered , they do not track if you keep paying it………… but a pension is recommended .

  78. Jeff on September 8th, 2011 11:50 am

    When I split with my ex, we knew that allowing the CSA to get involved would leave her worse off, because any money they took from me would be deducted from her benefits. (She had difficulty working due to RSI) and would leave me unable to contribute to our child.

    Since she is a type 1 diabetic, and stress is seriously bad for for her health, she got a doctor’s certificate saying this and the same rule that exempts women with abusive exes from having to go through the CSA applied.

    I was then able to buy food clothes toys etc to contribute, leaving them better off.

  79. richie on September 8th, 2011 9:04 pm

    Pleaae tell me how it is fair that my wife runs off with another man because I was working too long hours to support her and the kids and now she is living with him and I am supporting her lifestyle still, £400a month out of my wages is ridiculous, it costs nowhere near that to feed and clothe the kids a month, I still have a house to run, I still want to take kids out weekends but can’t afford it, she now works full time so shouldn’t she be responsible for half of their upbringing? not in this Fucked up world, she does the crime and I do the time! I dont begrudge paying for my kids, but a fair amount and how about leaving me some money to enjoy my time with them.

  80. Amanda on September 9th, 2011 10:04 am

    Hi

    I am female and hate the CSA i have very strong views about it, as they dont take circumstances into account. Anyway long story cut short, my partner went to court for arrears they said he had to pay £60 a month, said he couldnt afford that but they wouldnt budge, every now and again i paid £5 £10 but never £60 as we dont have much left ourselves. He has been summoned to court again for failing to pay, advice is what happens if he doesnt go, he said they can go jump and hes not going, he should be going today, just want to know what might happen Thanks guys xxx

  81. Debbie on September 9th, 2011 12:16 pm

    Stacie, please can you and Flint and all others stop judging all PWC! And vice versa to anyone judging all NRP! Each of us have our own individual stories and problems. I myself, am unusual, in that having been a PWC for 10 years uptil 3 years ago, I am now NRP as well! 2 of my 4 children moved to live with their dad and his wife and daughter on the hope that he would stop working abroad and they could see him more. He broke his promise of doing this and now one of them has moved back home.

    I myself cannot abide CSA. They’ve let me and my children down for years and my ex husband on his 4 foreign holidays a year, new house, yearly refurbs on the house and extension, £32k spent on IVF to have their daughter (while spending this money I was asking for him to give me at least half of the new school term uniform, stationary, coats etc costs and he refused!), top of the range 4×4 and now private schooling for their youngest!

    I was also quite happy for him to atleast help me with cost of clothing and school trips if he was so adverse to sending me the money! But no, I got nothing! Not even help with my petrol when I would drive the children down to see him! (we live 3 hours apart)! I only went to CSA and Courts to try and get him to support me somehow!!!

    And before Flint starts to accuse me of being fat, lazy etc…I don’t leech from the state, I have 2 jobs and have done since the youngest could go to playgroup. They are now 19, 17, 16 and 14. I’ve managed to bring them up alone without financial support and they are balanced children. And not once did I stop them from seeing their dad because no matter what was happening between him and I, I didn’t want it to worry or affect them. And who was I to play god?

    And Flint, there were times when I would cry and cry and think suicidal thoughts particulary when falling behind on rent and council tax and being threatened with eviction! Having intimidating Bailiffs walk in my house, repossessing a car I saved up for, and pricing what little I had infront of my young children, while I threw up in the toilet and collapsed, followed by a nervous breakdown, was vile!!! So you see PWC, do suffer emotional distress too.

    I’m now both PWC and NRP and my ex still squirrels his £100k in an offshore account in Jersey and is assessed by CSA at paying me nothing! CSA have assessed him earning less that £5 a week!!! However, I now have to find £200 a month for my one son living with him while he and his wife do their trips to Thailand and Spain every year and pay £10k a term for their 6 year old daughter. And must also mention ontop of his wages he also has his own business running in the UK while he works abroad now and again!

    All I earn, goes on my children and will continue to do so BECAUSE, I chose to have my children, albeit while married, but still, they are mine and my life is on hold as it should be all of yours, to pay for their upkeep until they fly the nest. All NRP’s should be the same. And for the like’s of Flint and I HATE CSA! You should be ashamed of yourselves trying everything in your power to not contribute to YOUR childrens upkeep and education! YOU helped make them and bring them into this world and all children should be able to look upto their parents, love them and rely on them.

    There are good and bad NRP’s and good and bad PWC. Don’t judge everyone else on your own misgivings. Its not fair.

  82. Debbie on September 9th, 2011 12:25 pm

    Wilson…..I too have all these outgoings and like you can’t afford to take my children on holiday or drive a fancy car. My sofa is spliting at the seams and have had it since I first got married and the same carpets for 10 years. I don’t have a partner to lean on….again, my point (please read my previous post) not ALL PWC are the same!!!!

  83. Liam on September 12th, 2011 4:33 pm

    CSA are cunt’s end of ! ….and that bitch i shaged after 10pints for my fucking money i earn wile she piss’s it all up the wall

  84. Amanda on September 15th, 2011 3:47 pm

    Hi still had no advice re my post any my other half not going to court Anyone !!!

  85. Coeus on September 16th, 2011 3:49 pm

    Well.. I’m so greatful my ex settled for £200 a month rather than the 40% I was threatened with.. now I cant afford food, cant afford to support my sick partner and cant afford fuel to pick my children up. I cant afford to get to work.. I’ve had to take out 2 high interest payday loans to survive this month.

    Well done.

  86. Jenny on September 28th, 2011 12:48 pm

    The women on here. Beyond words. You’re giving PWC the bad name.
    Jesus.

    And the girl who said she works for CSA and has recently signed a repossession order on someone’s home- does that make you feel good? Does that make you feel like a big girl?! You were the spotty cat at school who pulled the pretty girls pigtails weren’t you?

    My poor partner is a hard HARD working man, we have a lovely house, a lovely car and a great life- we face losing EVERYTHING because his ex wants money for a child he doesn’t know is his- and we have to pay for a DNA test (£250+) she didn’t tell him she was pregnant, he didn’t know he was going to be a father till she was in labour.

    They were in a relationship and he had no reason to assume she was no longer on contraception.

    OBVIOUSLY if he had of known, he would have made her have an abortion as any sensible man would. He didn’t want the child. Now he’s stuck being told he’s got to pay RIDICULOUS amounts of money because he earns a lot.

    They take MY wages into account, but not the mother nor the mothers parter. How is that fair?

    If you get a women pregnant (whatever your situation) and she refuses to have an abortion, make sure you get a signed document to say you will never pay a penny. This doesn’t have to be drawn up by lawyers, providing it’s witnessed by someone professional it is legally binding.

    I know it’s too late for all you poor men on here. I hope good comes of this and these terrible women are left in the gutters they belong- segregated from society, pinned with signs saying ‘pre-used, do not touch’.

    P.s, love the women who said it costs £600+ a month to raise a child. Try not buying them Next clothes (or more likely Addidas/Kappa) and try being realistic- silly, silly women.

  87. Jenny on September 28th, 2011 10:14 pm

    Amanda,

    From what I understand you’re partner could face jail time. Another of the many delights of CSA. Absolute jokes.

    Keep fighting the good fight, and good luck.

    xo

  88. h8mmer on October 3rd, 2011 12:52 pm

    Jenny, thank God there are decent self-thinking women around who don’t align themselves immediately with the man-hating-feminazis who seem to think that as soon as a child is born one of the parents (the dad) has zero rights and is more an inconvenience than a help and is only there to work themselves into the ground to fund the mothers excessive lifestyle of multiple holidays and designer clothes.
    Those women are scum and the sooner their self-serving crap gets recognised for what it is the better this country will be but with the utterly pointless & gutless politicians we have all of whom are pandering to the female vote regardless of them being guilty of treason to their own sex I very much doubt this will be anytime soon. Well done feminazis and weak minded liberal PC politicians….you’ve fucked all men for generations to come.

    The CSA are there as a tool to subjugate fathers…end of…..it serves the purposes of the misandrists in our society and they have the cheek to lie and say its for the good of the children. What a complete pile of crap.

    My X has used the children as weapons from day one of her having an affair and then making false accusations to get me out of the house, after a year of fighting to get access to my kids again she realised I was also a free baby sitting service so agreed to access. But that hasn’t stopped her hounding me with the help of the CSA wanting more and more money making up ludicrous statements and all the CSA do is whatever she wants so its me that has to worry how I’m going to pay the mortagage and keep the kids from being harmed by all of this.
    Unlike their slag of a mother with one “step-daddy” after another who palms the kids off onto anybody willing to have them while she continues to live the high life and laughing at the fact she’s been given a free-ride to act the utter cuntbag that she is. I pray daily she gets cancer, in the long run my kids would be better off without her evil influence in their lives.

    Anyone who works for the CSA should be ashamed of themselves…you are the lowest of the low…but I doubt any of you can feel shame can you…evil fuckers!

  89. tonybach on October 9th, 2011 10:48 pm

    c.s.a. is a joke, i left my greedy bitch of an ex 2 years ago, but when i left all i took was the clothes on my back, i left her the house, the contents of the house, and even the car, since then she has been back and forth to c.s.a telling them im not in contact with her or the kids, when i have them every weekend, she was skint one month and asked me to help her out so on top of c.s.a i gave her £160 to pay what i thought was her bills. i earn £1200 a month and c.s.a take £304 off me every month, i recieved a letter 2 months back stating that i owe them £1500, wtf, they are just coming up with sums out of no where, i am now forced to sing on to j.s.a tomorrow as i can not afford to support my fiance and our 2 kids.

  90. tonybach on October 9th, 2011 11:59 pm

    looking at all these stories, i feel so glad that im not the only one getting hell off c.s.a
    susan, stick your threats where the sun dont shine, c.s.a cant touch what we havent got,
    so i will be phoning c.s.a tomorrow and i will be telling them “sorry but i can no longer afford these payments coz my bitch of an ex has just taken out a court case on me and i need that money to pay solicitors fees,” what can they do? if they take your money out of your bank with out permission it is theft, and i will take them to the cleaners if they play me, coz i can play games better than the next freak in a suit. word to these pwc you get child benafit and child tax credit what do us nrps get to support our children at weekends? sweet f.a. thats what. and you still expect us nrps to supply the food,drinks, snacks, clothes, nightware, nappies and toys for 2 1/2 days a week. not only that but if we cant afford to give our children good xmas or birthday prezzies we are bad fathers for paying too much to c.s.a.
    what the hell is david cameron doing to this contry, i read that he has said us nrps are as bad as drink drivers and should be punished in the same way, what femminist drug has he been taking? what he needs to ask him self is, “if my missus left me would i pay her 25% of my wages? have the kids for 2 1/2 days a week and spent just as much in 2 days as what c.s.a. expect me to give them” i know what his answer would be “FUCK NO!!!” Having to hand out 50% of your wadges just coz you wanted to get out of a relationship that did not work and you knew your kids would be better in a home alone with there mother than in a home with both parents constantly down each others throats, you get punished for putting your kids first, most nrp walked away from there ex’s not there kids. time c.s.a and cameron realised that!!!!!!!!!!

  91. al on October 10th, 2011 4:19 pm

    im in the army and the wife in the raf – i have a child from previous and my assessment is high due to my income

    i get that however i pay over 800 a month in childcare which allows me and my wife to work, with out this one of us would have to give up work. the csa dont take this into account, surely they realise i need someone to look after my young children to work to pay me assessment

    fair is paying, this aint fair

  92. michlynn on October 12th, 2011 3:52 pm

    i was raped, abused and cheated on by my partner i was considering not clamin for csa, because that would help me however it would not help my child. men need to take responsibility, if they arnt contributing emotionally, it needs to be done financially. you have a CHOICE! real men would agree that it should be both. If you can get a girl pregnant you should contribute. its not about you its about your own flesh and blood. its already painful enough for a child to grow up feeling neglect and reject. same goes to mothers as woman do it too.

    i susspect the negative comment that are here are from ppl who have been rejected at some point in the lives and are angry. just imagine what this will do to your children. do you want them as messed up as you???

    its also clear as certain woman are defending there men. i was in that position fooled! now iv his baby. but iv got my baby and woke up and walked away. i hope you dont get taken for a ride ladies, as your no better than the one before. i left with scars but a beautiful son. you maybe left with nothing but scars. open your eyes woman and men your worth so much more than ignorance and bitterness. btw not all men are bad.

  93. michlynn on October 12th, 2011 4:09 pm

    the best way to avoid the csa is too grow up be a dad and sit dwn with your childs mother and make a fair and mutual conribution, it will be cheaper and will avoid heartache to both parties, most importantly the CHILD. the only ppl on the site i symphize with on this issue is the men who are stopped from seeing there child and the woman who go to csa because there a substancial amount of money in it for them, there are some bitter vindictive greedy woman out there unfortunatly and they give woman like us a bad name. but theres also alot of men out there that are lying dellussional and irresponsible and give men a bad name. all off you men and woman bloody GROW UP for the innocent children who didnt ask to be brought into your mess.

  94. michlynn on October 12th, 2011 4:19 pm

    oh i hate csa! youve got issues. you need to see your doctor to get some chill pills, even the mildest assholes would agree with that.

  95. Jo on October 16th, 2011 10:23 pm

    Okay my two cents, I have been spilt from my ex for 8 years or more, i never involved the csa when they tried to harreas claiming my benefits will be cut if i dont give them my childs dads details, anyway i never did give them nout because i really didnt want the aggro that would come with it as he can be aggressive, any foward 8 years or so and he has two more kids one concieved while cheating on the other there is a 6 month gap between the kids, any way the one he cheated with has reported him and now they are going to take a first payment direct from his employers, he is saying he wants me to fill out some child support form along with his other babies mother because otherwise the one who is complaining will get over a hundred a week?! I dont really care as i never wanted nothing from him, but he has given my name and address and says i will be receiveing a letter to fill out, i am not sure i want to get involved as it will ultimately have an effect on my financial situation and i dont want to change it for other people when it works for me and my son.. What can i do that reqiures minimal involvement, while keeping things civil.. as obviously having half of your wages taken is going to make the situation sticky to say the least.. I do think its unfair he has half his wage taken for one child with no recognition of the responsabilities he has running his own home and his other kid and my son.

  96. Jo on October 16th, 2011 10:38 pm

    Oh i forgot to mention that aside from our differences, he does have his boy every other weekend and holidays, he also buys him school uniform and other clothing as well as gives him pocket money and xmas bday gifts ect. If te csa take half his wage judgeing from what everyone else has said i have realised my boy will be worse off as his dad will no longer be able to afford to by school uniform or the other things he will also proably struggle to keep the routinely visits which ultimatley will affect my son…although we don’t get on or rather i dont like him because his attitude towrds me sucks, i don’t like to see anyone unfairly treated especially some one who’s stability and incertainity will have effect on my son’s emotional well being.. he wants both his parents to be happy!

  97. Paul Gilbert on October 17th, 2011 9:48 pm

    meet my ex 18 years ago after 8 weeks she fell preg being a Gent i was with her even after my son was born (i gave up my job as a tour guide) she lived with her mum and dad the day came when my son was born,that’s when things went tits up
    the ex mother said its my daughter i go in as my son was ready to be born even when they left hospital they never even told me they never had the decency to put my name on the birth certificate,as Father my ex has a mental issue and the social workers told her that she could not look after the child but because am not named as the father i have no rights but yet she still lives a single life and claims child benefit even though she lives on her own and my son has never lived with her only with the grandparents and the mother and grandparents have refused to let me see my son for 18 years even 16 years ago my own mother had two weeks to live from cancer and my ex still refused to bring my son to see her ,,, even now 18 years later my father aged 72 and in poor health and my ex still refuses to bring him round well i know he is a teen now but i pay £80 per week from a wage of £212 i never had a life for 18 years i can not all this time afford to drink smoke or even meet someone new not till he is 21 that’s what the CSA have told me
    my ex never looked after my son but claims child benefit /working tax credit /housing benefit and gets a new car every year and the csa will not contact the social workers as proof that my ex was unable to look after my son i tried but they say am not named as father so they can not give me the info she even as profiles on dating sites 6-7 years ago and still up now saying she has a kid but don’t live with her

  98. Patricia on October 21st, 2011 8:23 pm

    My husband had an affair and left I have never stopped him having contact I have begged him to have contact w ith his kids he wont pay for the kids even when the csa got involved he said if he paid for the kids how can he pay to go to chile to see the person he had the affair with not all ex are out to get money I just want my kids to have contact with there dad but he would rather pay for
    The person he had the affair with by taking her on holidays and other things and not pay a thing for his kids or have any contact with thdm

  99. monkeynuts 77 on October 22nd, 2011 3:37 pm

    what exactly do the csa do,i phoned them up when my son who i have not seen for 15 years turned 16.when i phoned i said that i had heard he had left school therefore out of fulltime education so i thought jackpot my payments will stop,na no chance they said they would look into it but most times they are lied to about a childs status,hmmm sounds like fraud to me,then i phoned again and they said it wasnt there department i am going to phone again next week but im not holding my breath,oh aye i always gave a present to that boots father for my son bdays and xmas never got a thank u once missed a bday got a phonecall frm her sister saying it wasnt fair i wasnt helping her out away and throw shite at the moon

  100. monkeystar on November 7th, 2011 7:34 am

    i know im gonna get called this and that and im a horrible bla bla bla but heres my story.. I had a best mate she lives about 200 yards away from me known each other since i was two. we got stupid and had sex a few times she said she was on the pill. but im at work (when i was working) one day i get a text she says shes pregnant and didnt know it and its deinately mine? and it was to late to get an abortion. now im getting weekly texts cause i dont come an hang out and see her or the kid calling me effin this n that. Ive always not been partial to children i dont like being near them i hate it when they cry it just makes me uncomfortable to the point of shaking i cant handle them and she knows this she used to laugh how i freak out but its not funny now. i tried to hold him once and had to like leave.i appreciate how hard shes trying and shes a saint but she just keeps asking for money that ive not got i dont have a job and i have payed her 3 times what i could even bought like high end baby monitors, clothes etc but im in debt aready with credit cards and such I just cant afford it. Ive said to her for years ill never be a dad to any kid i never planned on having any and i never want any but she seems to have it in her head “ill come around and love him” i just dont feel anything for the kid its cute but thats all. So if she says shes going to the CSA what do i say to her even though she knows i have nothing to spare and have told her when i am in employment again i will give her money?

  101. hry420 on November 15th, 2011 8:47 pm

    CSA… SHIT!!! So the wife gets to have it off wi the milk man throw the hubby out on the street and yup the hubby has to pay her … does he have a choice- give him the kids and you pay him!!! aye no so keen on that idea eh!.. wtf I am a single mum 2 kids 2 dads CSA not a penny ! none of ther fkn business who i was shaggin as far as they are concerned I don’t know no names and yes both dads names are on the birth certificates…….. I know nothing these kids are mine.. as for the dads they can and do see the kids whenever it suits them, do my kids get upset when daddy doesn’t arrive NO! Well you know how daddy is such an unreliable git yeh!!! well why the fk tell the kids when hes ment to be coming if you know he probably wont(!! A GET A GRIP…look after your own kids n if your no happy then give them to dad..FAIRS FAIR CIS should be abolished …MUM

  102. GO RESEARCH on November 16th, 2011 7:00 pm

    I got a letter from them saying i owe £60.00 in overdue payments. First off my son is 18 years old, and his mother has never seen a penny of that money. Fuck knows where it goes. Anyway, the CSA is actually a company, with a registration number trading for profit…got this info from DUPORT.co.uk

    CHILD SUPPORT AGENCY
    No: UC2339568

    ASHDOWN HOUSE, SEDLESCOMBE ROAD NORTH, ST LEONARDS ON SEA, EAST SUSSEX, TN37 7NL

    Now if they are a government agency, why do they have a reg number?

    If they are claiming that i owe them that money, then as a company we must of had some kind of agreement via a signed contract, with both parties signatures on the contract right.

    They have given me 7 days to pay up or have threatened me with legal action.

    So what i’m gonna do is send them a notice stating i accept their offer for me to pay them…on the condition they can send me proof of claim, and to provide the ORIGINAL documents of agreement, otherwise don’t contact me ever again.

    That way i stay in honor if it does go court (conditional acceptance) and put the ball in their court to proove.

    Send that shit recorded delivery, so i know someone in the company SIGNED for it.
    If they don’t respond within the 7days, and go silent, meaning they have nothing, i then have proof of a tacit agreement, and they are now in dishonor.

    NO CONTRACT, NO OBLIGATION.

    Ever wondered why your name on all letters to do with money issues (Bank, Credit Card, CSA, Fines.etc) always come in ALL CAPITAL letters?

    We the people have so much power, if we know how to use it.

    Peace

  103. Reap on November 17th, 2011 11:07 am

    I agree with everything that all of you are saying (which is strange)
    YES the CSA are a bunch of tossers my experience with them has been less than adequite…when my daughter was born I gave them the relevant paperwork that they asked for, after a year they still hadn’t taken anything from me. I hadn’t noticed as I was told it was an attachment to earnings, but once I found out I wasn’t paying I then called them and asked WTF was going on (as I do want to pay for my child) anyway it eventually got sorted they put me in debt as they were taking 65% to 80% of my wage over the course of a year which left me as you can guess pennyless.

    on the other side, if you don’t want to pay CSA come to an agreement with the mother and make sure you have a paper trail so you have proof if she decides to try screw you over.

    BUT my biggest hate is both FATHERS who can’t be arsed to pay for their kids when there are a lot of genuine guys out there who DO pay for their kids,this is probably why the CSA takes such a high amount from those that do pay (before you rant and rave…no i don’t work for the CSA). And the MOTHERS who cannot be arsed to get off theyre fat arses and get a job! Don’t give me the ‘there isn’t any job for me’ stop aiming for a super model or super star job when your clearly only qualified to clean, mop or be a tea lady in some office! you should’ve done beetter at school and got better grades or tell the guy NO! it takes 2 to create yet only one has to pay while the other gets to sit on their fat arse for nothing…and get paid to do so!

    My parents split when I was young…my dad never paid for me, my mum never chased him (claimed she didn’t know where he worked and never seen him since they split) yet I had regular contact with him without the hostility between him and my mum, he supplied everything i needed top brand clothes, shoes, food, school trips etc. These days are now gone because all that people want to do nowadays is get paid a lot of money (or as much as possible) for doing bugger all and the government has allowed this to happen and made it easy for people to do so

    I guess in a nut shell we all hate our situation which is made worse for one parent (prodomenently the father)

    As I said from the beggining I agree with everything that’s been said by everyone, those that don’t want to pay CSA because they genuinly are being crippled (I sympathise with this), those that are saying their ex’s need to get a job and those that are requesting payment for their child (it does take 2 to create)

  104. My Luck on November 21st, 2011 11:00 am

    My opinion is.

    If you knowingly have a child with someone then you should help to support that child. If you don’t know about a child and they come searching for you 10 years on then it’s not your fault and shouldn’t be held resonsible for that child unless you want to.

    My circumstance is that me and my ex were together for 16 years, have two children aged 13 and 8. He left me one school morning taking everything he beleived that was his, leaving me with all the debts as he had planned it for a while as everything was in my name (mug). He then moved in with my friend and I was told they have been together for 4 years. He begrudged paying £70pw out of his £37,500 salary a year. He mistreated/neglected the children when they were in his care. Stopped paying csa as he had a change of circumstances, moved offices at work, and cos he didn’t win custody of our son, didn’t want our daughter. After finally getting support from child services and the police I stopped his contact with teh children, hated see them cry leaving and cry when they returned as to what daddy had done. CSA are now taking money directly from his wages but his mate has filled in the forms resulting in just £37 per week. Then he claims he’s on the sick and cant pay, yet works cash in hand for his brother company. I do not want the money for myself, I wanted it for our children. Every penny received went directly into my account then split equally into their accounts to pay for college, university, a car, a house or whatever they needed. Yet my ex drives around in a brand new car, bought himself a new house, just come back from two weeks in florida with my friend and her son. Yet my children get nothing. I work ever hour I can without it inflicting on my childrens lives. I spend time with them not money on them. We have a good life, or I think so. But how do I explain to them that their dad doesn’t care and is too busy with his new life to bother with them. Both are in counsilling to get over the abuse they have had from him. Saying that they only saw him for a couple hours a week when we were together as he was either in work or at the gym (ex friends I know now). Only saw him Sundays when he could be bothered to shout at them to move away from the tv as he was playing his xbox. They courts have no ordered me to make the children see him once a week for a couple of hours whilst they decide he he should see them or not and get more evidence from child services and the police.

    Some dads and mums don’t deserve children. And the day people realise this the day less children will be born or abused, or neglected, or taken advantage of, or ignored.

    I love my children and i’m betting many people out there love their children too. I am lucky I see them everyday. Some dads and mums might be lucky enough to see their children in passing and wish it was more, other don’t get a moment. Some fight for their children and win. The ones I feel sorry for are the ones that loose and it ruins their lives.

    This is my opinion and no-one elses, I do not wish to step on anyones toes or imply that I am right in anyway. In a real world mummies and daddies will love each other forever and everyone would be happy.

  105. Dolphin (D) on November 22nd, 2011 6:50 am

    We help NRP on our site the CSA/CMEC do take far too much money. And the greedy PWC 90% of them it is greed.Come to our site NRP I am Dolpin K we do our best to help NRP and their new families keep a roof on their new childrens head.
    TO 90% OF PWC
    You are the one that should be ashamed POVERTY? A single mother and child has NEVER been in poverty. HANG YOUR HEAD IN SHAME.
    What about clothes for the NRP new children? what about warm for the new NRP children? Because of the csa my sick daughter is cold every winter as we can’t put the heating or fire on. We ARE left in poverty with a back wall that is so bad now we have warter coming into the bedroom. The NRP and their new family is who is put in poverty. Lets take away the PWC heating, lets take away the PWC car lets stop all her benefits after all the NRP don’t get benefits. We work we do not live off others and never our ex. I would never live off a ex husband hang your head in shame. The children should be taken away useing a child for money is the lowest thing you could ever do. SHAME ON ALL PWC THAT DO THIS.

  106. Dean on November 30th, 2011 9:52 am

    My EX-brother in law MARCUS BRUCE who works full time in the drilling industry has refused to pay even a fraction of his monthly wage to support his two children Mathew and Rebacca Bruce
    He did work at one point for ENSCO drilling but may now have moved to pastures new …… to add insult to injury he has told his own son he now gets
    £ 12,000.00/mth of which he pays his ex-wife Elanor Bruce £ 00.00/mth

    I can’t believe that fat W4nker can do this to his own kids

    Well done CSA nice job you have NOT done there

    PS you lot are also W4nkers

  107. zena on December 6th, 2011 2:50 pm

    Women lying about being on the pill, cheating on you, chucking you out, appearing years later with child…. Booohooo! You ‘men’ are jokes! The only real contraception is to keep your slimy dicks in your pants. For every guy that’s been fucked over by a women, is a women left behind with a baby, due to been fucked over by a guy.

    CSA might be harsh, and seem a lot, but I tell you now as a single mum whom works full time btw, for every 100 I make I spend a lot more than 15 on my child. Paying for your spawn isn’t a chore its something you should willing do. It takes two to tango! I pity your sad existance and your poor children, I went through csa with my ex, and he pays a measely 19 a week, I have full custordy of our son, aswell as working 30 hours a week, my ex works 16 hours, I could be bitter to think his 19 probably just covers our sons milk, and nappies for a week, yet I’m just happy he’s man enough to realise its not just a womans responsibility to raise and pay for a child that takes two adults to make!!!

    Bunch of TOSSERS! Please get the snip asap, and rid our Country of you Jeremy Kyle escapdes!

  108. Jay on December 12th, 2011 11:19 am

    ~I have answers to how to aviod. all men go to the houses of parlement, stand outside massive list of people strugling to pay bills hit the news! wont get anywere unlees you hit the media! no one will listen to reason so use what ever methords possible DONT HARM ANYONE! especialy the x. and as for the men that let there kids down in the past not providing for them. we pay for your debts now!

    I was earning 1400 after tax. i did a little overtime that brings my pay to 30k. then my x gets 450 per month for two children. gets what ever benifits. totaling 1900, with my money she will have 1200 pound disposable. tell me how single mums dont manage without a job. I have a well paid job earn 30k with OT. i am left with 900 before i even stat to pay for getting to work and eating. rent supplying kids with days out when i see them, but at the moment all i want is access to them 3 days per week this will bring the payments down. but i dont think the courts will alow this because they will support the mother no matter what. she gets a massive insentive to keep me away £450 per month. having kids gets you paid i f your a woman. dads treated like chickens that cant lay eggs. roasted slowly every week. treated like mustrooms fed crap and kept in the dark. people cant live like this for ever somthings got to give. I am going crazy trying to live at the moment. I have no money. work 6 days aweek for 900 per month, 200 of that will go on fuel then 500 rent. 700, gas lectric. picking the kids up feeding them were is my food money. ??? tell me. its ok my kids can eat well. ill just starv and get depressed. the single mum will eat well, i know loads of women that do well driving 11 plate cars on lease going out everyweekend i know this because these little cows call me for a quick jump in bed. 3:aam calls. i am thinking get with one of them to off set my loss. so single women that leach the system living beyond there means hurry up and get real. men will lose there cool one day,. men fight wars build citys. its what we do. women have kids and provide. at the moment they take take take. well enough is enough lets work as parents not enemys. teaching the kids to take every penny form others. works for mummy so why not me ill just deal drugs when i get older or ill be a little slag have 5 kids with men that have good jobs me mum had it all wrong with my dad. ill do better. men keep the tool in the box or get a woman that cant have kids or get the snip! cheaper and less painfull. as for you sick little women that point that gun at mens heads your burning your bridges this will all come to a stop soon. youll get fat on that money. 450 per mont. what a joke. cant afford them let me take them back. ass holes. you know its imoral.

  109. Louise on December 13th, 2011 10:35 am

    Everyone’s circumstances are different, I had 2 planned kids with my ex (which was more his idea than mine), when my youngest was 5months old, he decided he wanted out…. So I set up contact arrangements (he was on benefit and £130miles away by then) and weekly phone calls to the kids to keep in contact with them, more for eldests sake than anything. He decided to pay Maintanence direct to me, to avoid the CSA, for the first year of the split, got his act together, got a job a new partner then all of a sudden the money stopped. By this time, my son has started swimming lessons and after school activities that were all paid for by him on his decision, Th money went into a bank account set up for my kids to pay for parties, activities etc, so that he knew where the money was going as it was all on direct debits and he recieved the statements. why should he give me the money for my things as I work!
    So it’s been like 6 months since he last contacted me or the kids, changed his number so obviously doesn’t want to be found, there is no record of him now working or claiming benefit, is it worth going to the CSA or will they just make things worse? It was OUR decision to have the kids, so far he is non committal now the novelty has worn off but why should the kids Suffer for this?!
    I totally agree, women shouldn’t moan about their ex’s not paying kids if they were tricked into being dads in the first place, what do they expect!!

  110. lisa on December 14th, 2011 7:11 pm

    Mothers using there kids as weapons for there own bunnyboiler state of mind because they fucked up, should close the whore house, Hence getting the csa involved to cause the nrp a load of hassle. im glad the nrp’s are fighting back, why should the nrp get fucked over, because the mothers vindictive. Its not about the kid otherwise it would be amicable. Its all about the fist cloak and dagger style. no one wants screwed up bitches roaming the streets looking for there next victim, its about time it was mandatory that the implant contraception was fitted in girls at 8 years old to stop low life scum able to procreate, costing taxpayers.

    Whats even better is that women that end up on there own pregnant young, always wish they didnt have the kid, this then turns the mother more bitter towards the ex.

    Whats even more funny is if the mother claims a benefit, they calculate what she has been entitled to and gives her the balance, thats what the csa pay from the alleged phantom father, what a joke. so taxpayers pay any way for these kids so leave the phantom fathers and figures alone

  111. Kate on December 19th, 2011 1:14 pm

    I have read through everything with interest. I am the Fiancee of a NRP, his ex has had a house, 3 cars, childcare paid for and £250 per month. She then decided to up and leave with no contact details and a letter saying she wanted him to have nothing to do with their son, (there are doubts to whether he is the father or not) Now she has gone to the CSA, he has tried to contact her and track her down so he can continue seeing the child but had no luck. The CSA today took £230 straight from his wages which actually works out more than 15% of his salary, they took 2 months that he did alot of overtime and callouts. This is not a common thing and his pay is now back down to the usual amount which is around £500 less a month. We have now been left in a position where we do not know how to pay the rent, council tax, utility bills and to provide for his daughter who stays with us for half the week. The CSA have taken nothing into consideration, no outgoings, no expenses for the child that stays with us. Just purely on 2 months pay that was a rarity. We have appealed and heard nothing. How can someone take the child away from the father, reject all money offered and even owe thousands to my fiances Mother and then expect to cripple us to fund her lifestyle??? Oh by the way, she has a history as an alcoholic, told my partner she could not have children and is a deluded nasty bitter person. My fiance did nothing but move on from a loveless relationship to cause the Mother to move away. We are in the process of legal proceedings to obtain her address and to move through the family courts to gain access. We do NOT have an issue with making payment for the child but surely it needs to be done in a fair manner. Not leaving us with no choice but for my partner to give up his job and live off the state. The CSA should be ashamed of themselves and start doing what they should be doing instead of penalising NRPs that are in no way to blame for any of it!!!!

  112. HATE MEN WHO DONT PAY CSA on December 22nd, 2011 11:39 pm

    OI MATE IF YA DAY WANNA PAY FOR KIDS, THEN YA SHOULD HAVE PUT SOMTHINK ON THE END OF YA COCK. USE YA BRAIN NOT YA DICK!!!!
    PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE NASTY, SELFISH USUALLY LOVE YA MOTHER MORE THEN THE KIDS. WELL I AM A MOM, HAVE A JOB AND TBH WAS WITH A PETTY LITTLE SHIT LIKE YOU. WHY SHOULD WE PAY FOR IT ALL SO YOU CAN GO OUT GET PISSED AND SHOVE YA COCK UP ANY SLAPPER WHO WALKS BY… MAYBE WHEN YA GET AN STI YALL REALISE WHAT AN IDIOT YOU ARE. AND BTW THE MAN WHO CALLED HER A BITCH. LOOK AT YA SELF.. GET HELP!!!!!! JEEEES

  113. sick of men on December 22nd, 2011 11:50 pm

    KATE- Not being funny yah.. I would never do any of that to my ex. I had his baby and he did not want to move in, he did not want to pay for his little girl. I work too, I buy everything for my daughter. I buy her schooling stuff, and uniform, I buy her food, her heating, her clothes non school, I was on Income support becuase of him lettingme down with child care. He lets me down at the drop of a hat. he works on the side so that he does not have to pay CSA, I gave him 5 years of my life waiting for him to move in. He worked full time lives still with his mom, pays for naff all and get to go out with his new mrs. I would not mind if he gave her money. I dont want his money for me but for his daughter whom tax payers have paid for on and off for about 4 years. It is only since I moved on I have had an ability to work. We are not all like that women. I have bent over backwards for my little girls dad and I get a letter through my mothers doors saying I was still having marital sex with him JULY… we split Easter this year.. And he WOULD NOT move in with me or marry me. I loved him so much and all he ever did was use me. Use my home a break my stuff. CSA need to be there Kate. No they should not take as much of men as they do. It all wrong but my ex pays for nothing, SO ya think that fare?? I aint being love but i feel for ya bloke, how ever some of need the CSA to get men like the bloke above who prob just doesnt want reponsibility. And how ever much ya love this guy he could be filling ya full of shit like my ex does with his new mrs!! I thought my ex was wonderful would have walked over fire for him. He the one who lets his child suffer its me whom spend no time with her bcus I have to work 47 hours a week in a care home. Doind 12 hour shifts with half a day off cus I need the money!! my patner works 16 hours per week because I have the qualies not him. then her dad gets access and sees her 3 says per week more then I see her. All cus he dont pay for her love. HOWD you feel if this was u

  114. sick of men on December 22nd, 2011 11:58 pm

    Lisa. I agree with there are some evil bitches out there. but you can not dust us all the same. I had to live on doal and I tryed to work. I had to do shifts around night feeds, and her having seizures and being rushed into hospital now she 5 I work 47 house a week to provide for my daughter. He wont as I said in my last peace it women like me who get kicked. I had one child, I was working. We should all have the right to have a child and be a mother Lisa. We arnt all bad. I only took my ex through CSA becuase he thought that 10 pound every no and again was fine.. What about the fact it was him who let me down. I had a shift he said oh well i have work to know all cus he was shagging some girl called sarah at work… I got sacked becuase of him. Then tax payers had to keep me!!

    I did it all alone. He went out with his mates, he was shagging other girls. And paying 10 pound ever no and again.

    It my daughter whom is the one who does NOT get to see me. He sees her more then me becuase of these shitty parental rights, I would not mind he took me to solicitors all cus I had two weekend to go on holiday. Funny ay how you can slag of Men paying CSA what about the KIDS i doe want my exes money for me. My bab need food, clothes, warmth water. And tbf I had one child I wanted another but I put it on hold until i was working. And becuase of him and the stress he caused I have misscarried. AGAIN ya think thats fare!!!!

  115. flint on December 23rd, 2011 9:27 am

    ha haa lollllllll bitter women. its been 2 years not paid a penny to csa. just 3 more years to go haa haaaaaaaa

  116. john on December 23rd, 2011 3:19 pm

    Set up a LTD (limited business) and pay your self a small wage e.I £140. Per week and pay any extra money in the form of expenses-mileage, mob phones,meals while at work etc (these do not have to be declared as earnings!! Because they are not). I had to resort to this when I got pissed off with paying for my son for ten years (I also had him twice a week) and she didn’t get a penny of it because she was a dole dosser!! So I set a company up and they came after me again, I had p60’s from my accountant– they couldn’t touch me!!! As my p60’s stated an annual income of £7200 Me and my current wife nearly cried as we had such a weight lifted off us….. I then proceeded to put a reasonable amount into my sons account each week for his future!!! But I will say this!! I learned my lesson at a young age…. I will never plant my seed in another female again and give her control of my life!! And in affect that’s exactly what they do, if my ex felt I was doing to well, she would ask for a reassessment just to spite me!!!!

  117. monkeystar on December 25th, 2011 3:01 pm

    So a little update. its Christmas day so happy holidays everyone If youve read my post above well you know ive been paying for “my alleged child” the girl is still my friend but a few weeks back I was sitting with her and the kid and I noticed the dark eyes and redish tint in his hair now my family are predominantly brown and black haired and blue eyes. I got myself a paternity kit, a legal one. I took a swab from his mouth which i feel i had the right to do a swab from mine sent it off for testing…..not the daddy :D i felt like fuckin dancing i tell you after ive been so scared of her family and mates telling me to step up n be a dad well screw the lot of you after she told me she had only slept with me in that time frame. Im not a dick so i dont want the money that i had payed for the child that is not mine but il say this guys get a dna test before you pay anything! everybody lies so dont get screwed

  118. taken_for_a_ride on January 10th, 2012 10:56 am

    Can anyone provide me a copy of CLS102 or point me to where I might be able to find one? Thanks in advance.

  119. Dani on January 10th, 2012 1:29 pm

    Men there is a way u can pay less….
    I seriously feel for you men. My boyfriend has spent the last 10 years being completely raped by the CSA and his stupid ex gf. He is so skint he cant afford to heat his house or eat and has 20,000 debt whilst she is spending at least £200 a month on eyelash extetions, hair extentions and nails not to mention the holidays and range rover she drives!!
    Totally out of order…but you can now very easily appeal to the CSA about the amount you are paying so instead of it being just flat out 20% of your wages which is what he is paying you send them your pay slip of your monthly earnings and then you list every single out going you have council tax, bills, rent, insurace everything and they have to rework it out of what you have left so now he is paying a 5th of the amount he was paying before!! I do aggree that men should pay for there kids but not that much. I mean the best thing is that now when he see’s them he can afford to spend money on them and take them places..rather than all his money going towards his ex’s new boob job!!
    Good luck

  120. simon fox on January 10th, 2012 9:43 pm

    I now understand why men kill their kids and their ex
    i have paid £40 a week for my son into a bank account set up by his mother for support
    he is now 18 and the csa have ruled my £29,000.00 in support is invalid and that the mother has the right to reclaim all 29k again because i paid it to an account in his name , they could ofcourse informed me of this in the last 16 years , but did not
    they have ruled this was pocket money ! now i am informed i will have to pay this amount again in full to his mother ( who has already spent the 29k previously) the judge is however on my side but declares his hands tied by law
    so off to jail i go tomorrow
    please dont judge me to harsh if i loose my sanity and take it out on the mother who now is pushing for the money for a second, because she can
    BITCH

  121. Ash on January 11th, 2012 2:41 pm

    child also has the right to a relationship with both their parents – the child’s right not the parents

    Ha anyman been threatened by the csa ? i have for not paying £8000 arrears, i have my reasons for not paying and i wont untill the law changes, iv been threatned to have my driving licence took off me for two years, even a prison sentence, whats that going to solve, anyone with similar issues

    I would just like to add to my comment sent yesterday,
    When me and my ex split after 19 years of marrige i didnt want anything to do with the home they lived in, my choice as i thought in good will my children need a roof over thier heads and they didnt deserve all this crap,
    Within two weeks of the split my ex got in touch with the csa saying she had no choice,
    Now there was a choice an amical choice ,my ex said she didnt trust me to pay, well after 19 years together she didnt trust me, i question myself many times about that statement she made,
    After the 1st year things were sort of ok, after that then came the excuses on the days i was to have my children, now when i say the days i had them 3 hours 1 day a week, is that fair, i dont think so,
    Now as time as gone by iv had social workers, cafcass, involved asking my children what the problem was, the answer was our mother dosent want us to see our dad,
    Ok the next step was court, it took two years where at that time i never seen my kids, very hard believe me ,
    I won the case and i started seeing my children twice a week, by that time i had nowhere to live, no firm foundations where i could have my children, in 6 years my children have never spent 1 night with me,
    As this was going on i lost my job due to all the pressure, i was on anti depressents even considered taking my own life,
    i now still dont see my children on a regular bases,
    I set up a small business 1 year ago , earning arnt great but still i cant afford a place of my own, iv even slept in my van at tempatures -5.6, well you dont sleep you just survive,
    As my above thread says thats where i am at at the moment, how can anyone pay what in my case they are asking ,
    I have been in touch with 5 local solicitors to try and get legal aid and fight this in court, and out of the five not one will, they do say they can help but i have to pay,
    What a joke not being able to get legal aid due to a low income,
    My ex has a £130000 house i gave her, goes abroad at least once a year with our 3 kids, work that one out,
    As i say as a father i have a duty but under the law of the CSA at the moment i will not give in,

  122. Ash on January 11th, 2012 3:22 pm

    Simon i cant believe what iv just read, that is absolutely disgusting,
    Looks like i may be going down the road of prison like you,
    Surley there has got to be some help out there for many of us, iv even thought aboiut starting a campaign off my own back, i really dont know where all this is leading right from the early days where i know of men killing themselves because they had no choice, its even crossed my mind to,

  123. derek miller on January 14th, 2012 10:06 am

    sorry but i’m sick of other NRP’s trying to avoid paying the CSA, but i agree its not fair. like other NRP’s i too have been fleeced by the CSA . I have to pay £60 from £295. I travel to 300 miles a week to work so after the csa and fuel i have around £180 left and then have to give my partner £120 for my contribution towards our bills. and whats left is still not all mine, so get the pictue. you should be willing to support your children unless of course the PWC is making access difficult and you should then pay nowt. the trouble with all this these days is one you have split, your ex can go running to the csa for free and your royally fucked. but the state then drags its heels or doesnt provide any support to the NRP. I am effectively prevented from seeing my children, but can not get legal aid as my partners wages are taken into account and we jointly have more than £770 a month left, but you know how these things roll and why should my partners earnings be taken into account when she has no legal connection to my children? judges should be involved especially when there is property in the mix as well(oh yes the ex is living in our house and telling me to leave and not buying me out!!). though i must say i will be applying for a variation form.

  124. derek miller on January 14th, 2012 10:08 am

    @dani, please me more? you actually got the amount reduced to less than 20%?

  125. derek miller on January 14th, 2012 10:09 am

    @dani , again. meant to say please tell me more?

  126. CSA are thieving cunts on January 14th, 2012 10:55 am

    At Susan

    If the CSA were fair then why do people try to evade paying? I tell you why it is because the CSA are not fair at all they are a pack of lying thieving low life murdering scum and you coming on here gloating that you assisted in taking someones home. You are nothing more than scum I would not piss in your mouth if your teeth were on fire you oxygen thief and I sincerely hope that you have a very slow and painful grotesque death as I wish that upon all CSA/CMEC staff you are all evil despicable cunts.

    You will not be so fucking smug when you have pushed someone too far that they have had enough and decide to take their own lives but also take you horrible cunts with them, it is only a matter of time and you will all deserve what you will it, remember Oklahoma???? well that is what you scum deserve and I will laugh when it happens I would go to the pub and celebrate. It must make you feel so damn good to take everything from someone, were you bullied at school you hideous vindictive bitch? I have no problem paying for my kids but it has to be a reasonable amount and not being forced into poverty so the vindictive bitch of an ex can live the life of luxury, that is why people try to evade paying because it is an unfair system and you thick cunts get a bonus and incentives with targets to meet – it is well known that you scum fabricate evidence tell lies and commit fraud – I prey for a civil war because you cunts would be punished big time! Must make you feel great knowing how despised that you are – all for the cause of lifting children out of poverty. If that was the case why did you pigs get £25 million in bonus’s surely that should have gone towards the alleged impoverished children?

    I would pay for tickets to watch you scum being thrown to the lions and crucified
    it is only a matter of time before the people who you vile pigs have abused retaliate you will not be so clever then hey?

    Susan on July 22nd, 2010 3:03 am

    I happen to work for the CSA.

    Flint – have you ever heard of the saying that it is better to keep your mouth shut and have the world think you are an idiot than to open it and confirm everybody’s suspicions?

    As regards working without paying – we will catch up with you in the end. And then you will have to pay. Before you say that debts can’t be enforced after 6 years – wrong – this debt will go to your estate once you die.

    House seizures are a reality now – not a myth. I know that because I made a referral for one which was taken.

    As for self employed directors who claim minimum wage PAYE and then pay themselves in dividends to avoid paying maintenance – you will have a rather nasty shock when there is a massive bill sent your way following a variation or departure for dividend income and/or lifestyle inconsistencies.

    My best result so far? A gentleman who claimed he earned not a penny but paperwork summoned from his accountant including his tax return showed he earned over £50,000 a year. What happened to him? He’s now got a criminal record.

    The fact is that we attempt to be fair, but if there is deliberate avoidance then there is every reason for hardball treatment.

    So, flint, be ready for that knock on the door from the bailiffs.

  127. Ash on January 14th, 2012 12:32 pm

    Derek thats where its all wrong, if you have a new partner why shud her money or the circumstances change, as you said above you are sick on the NRP not paying, same here, what gets me is the system where the woman get 99% of the rights and you have none, Iv had a couple of friends take thier own lives because of how it works, so the children have no father at the end and the mother will get nothing,
    So where does it all go from here, who and how many NRP are gonna make a stand, fathers for justice dosent even or seem not to have an impact on change,
    so what next,

  128. azzler on January 17th, 2012 8:44 pm

    Guys,

    Play by the rules. Tell the CSA what you earn but ALSO what you have to PAY!! Your pension counts as exempt earning as well as rent and mortgage interest, travel to work, kids now living with you etc. The higher the exempt earnings the less you pay. When you get that, a wee cash in hand part time job like, window cleaning, Bouncer/security work or TAXI DRIVER helps raise income and the CSA still take between 20 and 30% of your un-protetced income only. In short you play by the rules and screw the CSA too.

    A message to all the PWC, ladies and gents who work, fair play, let the NRP have contact and be civil. To the scrounger (shameless) parent, GET A JOB!!!!!!

  129. Dazzler on January 18th, 2012 6:59 am

    To Simon Fox,

    Does your MP know about your plight? Get your solicitor on to the Eurpoean Court of Human Rights. That’s a disgusting way for your Ex and the CMEC to act. Looks like Hitler and the Nazi party are alive and kicking in the UK! CSA\CMEC needs to be disbanded, its a grossly ineffective and incompetant bunch of twats. Typical Civil Servants, sack them all.

    I wouldn’t pay the £29k neither. Try a trip to the Republic of Ireland, your out of the UK’s jurisdiction and therefore, no CSA\CMEC.

    Best of luck.

  130. NRP with no rights over children on January 21st, 2012 4:48 pm

    I have a question,

    How is it that an NRP who had children before 2001 has no parental rights over his children yet still in the eyes of the law has to pay excessively high payments to the CSA. I have no say with regards to my children, my ex refuses to allow my parental responsibilities. I went to see a solicitor and had the documents sent out, she tore them up. Yet I am expected to pay her money to bring the kids round (£70 a time) pay for xmas presents, birthday presents, while trying to take care of my new partner and her 3 children and my unborn child. In the mean time my ex wants me to have nothing to do with my children. She has two holidays a year, the kids get xmas presents like 32 inch HD tv’s with freeview each, ps3’s etc… plus has two cars, one’s hers and the other is her new husbands. I mean it’s a sick society we live in. I don’t see why I should have to pay for children that legally I have no rights with. The law says I have no parental responsibilities over the children, so I should not have to pay HER anything. why can I not put any money for their upkeep into a separate bank account that has to be spent on them for the things they NEED or want. IE: their clothes, there shoes etc etc NOT her holidays or clothes or nights on the drink….

  131. NRP with no rights over children on January 21st, 2012 4:55 pm

    In my eyes the law has double standards, on one hand they say I have NO parental responsibilities but on the other hand say I do have a parental responsibility to pay money for their upkeep. I either have parental responsibilities or I don’t which is it

  132. Ash on January 23rd, 2012 6:29 pm

    Basically if you are a man you have no rights whats so ever, woman have the law on thier sides no matter whether its the csa or anything else, the csa has really come down on human rights, mens human rights, two of my close friends have took thier own lives not because they didnt pay because they had no rights to seeing thier children, great isnt it, if you killed another human being you could plea insanity and mental unstableness, you would get better treated by society and the authorities, so to any good father out there keep sending birthday and xmas cards, and if you can afford a mobile phone buy them one, one good way to stay in contact until the day comes when they are old enough your can turn the tables around and believe me the mother will have regrets until the day they die, so to all nast vindictive females rot in hell coz it will come,

  133. Craig on January 28th, 2012 12:55 pm

    I see people are looking for the CSL 102 here is the whole lot of em http://webarchive.nationalarchives.gov.uk/20060213205517/csa.gov.uk/new/leaflets/

  134. Craig on January 28th, 2012 2:13 pm
  135. gman on January 28th, 2012 9:55 pm

    can any 1 help im up at court on tue 31st jan for non payment the reason for not paying is since 2006 the csa have witheld information as to the whereabouts of mother/child so i can get a dna test. in my eyes im not paying a rip off gouverment run scam untill i know the truth the letter i have states that this date in court is to revoke my licence or send me down for up to 6 weeks how can they do this if im not known as the father surley a judge cant do any of the above untill it is proven im the dad this was after a 1 night stand and the 1st i heard of it was a letter from the csa 2 years after the child was born might i add to this i now hae 3 children at home with me and i provide the best i can they all go to school dressed smart and always have tea on the table thanks to my hard work so why should i take off them to give to a unknown child
    some advice please ppl

  136. Daro on January 30th, 2012 3:41 pm

    pfft…this is a riot…take it from my side.
    if i ever ever EVER had the audacity to father a child and try and wriggle out of it and be proud of doing so id be disgusted with myself.
    my story,,,my ex was with a guy who for lack of a better word was a waster,pub pub pub…fine when there is no kids involved but he couldnt change his ways.
    tried the blackmail and she called his bluff…played the sympathy card and it didnt work.was even charged with abuse and restricted bail conditions when he started getting out of line.
    he has never been refused to see his son but my wife and i have struggled and scraped every single day to get us a new house,provide everything for our son and daughter btw…and the NRP man(not even good enough to be a father) has holidayed abroad and splashed on new phones…even gets a taxi to colect him and drop him off every week (£30 return at the least) but will not pay CSA. most of you will scream about hes saving money for him and will do it himself so the mother doesnt get…maybe so but brass tax is that that will not help provide for him NOW..it wont cloth him NOW…it wont keep the rain off him NOW.
    he calls me daddy…and him…he gained that right by being there at the correct time and place…i gained it by working my arse off and teaching him all the politeness he has now…by getting up at 2am and feeding him when he was young.
    He was even asked just provide necesary goods like nappies/clothes/food and so on NOT EVEN CASH…too stubborn AND stupid to take that offer.so the CSA was the only option.ignored them for 6 months and had to backdate the money to over £1000…quit his job and went to college…he then made up the story it was for better life for HIS(ha!) son…were is he now?…quit college due to the booze and back working in a rotten little bar in the city centre.
    people like him need round up and shot…and anyone who thinks its glamorous to follow suit…NEVER ever have a child and think you should have rights…those rights are financial aswell as emotional.
    a very brief insight as to y i think this is disgusting…and nothing more than a bunch of cowards looking for a get out!
    ps doesnt necesarily mean all you guys…some people are wrongly accused of fathering children BUT the rest of you should hang your bloody heads in shame!

  137. Ash on January 30th, 2012 7:29 pm

    Good point but just another sad and unnecessary story, as you pointed out not aimed at everyone, but a right to speak your mind is a must,
    My kids dont even called me dad or even acknowledge me as a father,
    Do you know how much that hurts,
    I agree those who try and get out of it shud be hung, im not one of them , i now pay the csa a payment of so much, i wont go into how much because i think thats personal, i didnt pay at one point and refused because of the system on how the mother has all rights and the father from my experience has none,
    Again we are all individual cases but are tarnished with the same brush,
    As an honest father and one that loves his kids take this into account, iv still got nowhere to call my home after 6 years seperation from my wife, not once have my kids spent one nite with me because i have no money to rent or support myself to a degree where i can get a firm foundation for myself to see and have my kids stay with me,
    What a great law we have in this country for NRP,

  138. Craig on January 30th, 2012 8:11 pm

    Everyone’s circumstances are different I have always paid my way – it was the first thing I done when I split was to make sure money was paid for the children – then wham the ex goes to the CSA and gets them involved. They demanded far more money than I could ever afford as I was left to pay off all of the debt etc. I am fed up of being used as a cash point machine and the children used as cash cows it is not on!

  139. gman on January 30th, 2012 8:42 pm

    well dooms day tomorrow any advice on the post above …………….

  140. gman on January 30th, 2012 8:48 pm

    ash/daro not every man tries to avoid it but if you read my post above then you should understand the point of my case if there is no proof of me bein the father after a 1 night stand (would you pay) because im sure as hell not until that judge orders a dna test the csa wont see a penny well not of my hard earned cash i have 3 lovley kids who all live with me im gonna spend that hard earned cash on them…..

  141. chall on January 30th, 2012 11:02 pm

    gman,

    Crikey, this is all a bit last minute…

    The CSA should not/are unable due to the Data Protect Act to give the whereabouts of mother/child.

    Initially the CSA should have been given you the opportunity to dispute parentage.
    Did they?

    There are certain circumstances in which they assume parentage.

    You could force the issue through the court privately, as long as you use a csa recognised dna testing centre.

    chall ~ afairercsaforall

  142. Ash on January 31st, 2012 7:25 pm

    gman i agree with you, i wouldnt pay a penny untill the tests confirm you are the father, as iv said before woman have 99% of the rights, you as a father have very little, like in all cases were u put it you are guilty untill proven not, but i stand with you get the dna results then be a good father if you can, its not always easy to pick up the pieces and its bloody not easy to get on your feet as a single man again, i lived out the back of my van for months in -5 tempatures, did anyone give a f–k, no they didnt, so i am a bit hard when it comes to rights for woman and none for men, all i can say is good luck to all us men who are honest and are prepared to support your child/ children,
    Also fathers for justice does not seem to address this issue unless you join the site and pay, in my case after work i havent got a penny left to buy myself a pint, hows that for living,

  143. Daro on January 31st, 2012 8:49 pm

    i agree its ridiculous when they come after people totally unaware…it has happened to a member of my family…and it is a NIGHTMARE.
    but point in question…these people who brag all the rights but fail to address the financial ones are cowards (said man in previous)
    what drove me insane was every turn his line was-”im his father…hes my son” but only really when it suited him.
    it suited him to spill that sentence when he decided he wanted him and wanted to take him somewhere but when any mention of looking after him financially…that line was nowhere to be heard.
    good luck…if your not the father…itll be proven! :)

  144. tiptaptoe on January 31st, 2012 9:19 pm

    I’ve read through many of the posts above and some are good and some are complete crap. If you are a man that has left the relationship then that is fine, but you chose to sleep with this person and you are responsible for your child in some way too. I have been struggling for 2 and a half years now, I haven’t received a penny from my ex. He had the affair, he was the bully and it is him that has done wrong, not I. Why do we have to suffer so much? He has a new house and car and no responsibilities, he goes out when he wants and enjoys his life to the full.. I feel like I’m in a cage, I love my children dearly but it’s just not fair what some of you guys are saying… :P

  145. tiptaptoe on January 31st, 2012 9:33 pm

    And “ASH” sometimes I don’t have enough money to buy a loaf of bread!!! How’s that for a living??? GOD, where do some of you guys get your brains from.

    “Don’t make a baby if you can’t be a father.” and your children need your presence more than your presents. NOT A PINT!!!

  146. tiptaptoe on January 31st, 2012 9:38 pm

    I’d also like to point out that while there might be many women out there like you’ve described, there are also educated genuine women like myself!! As there are men too.. Unfortunately I didn’t meet one of those!! Hahahaha.. lol

  147. gman on January 31st, 2012 10:42 pm

    thanks ash just a quick update today 31/01 i did get my day in court it only took 6 years of pushing the csa in the end it took me ignoring them to get this reaction and people beware these so called humans do make up evidence to make you the NRP look like a total cunt but this time the kind judge did see my point he put it off for 6 weeks and give the csa a court order to obtain a DNA test which i will be doing as i aint no coward lets just hope the so called mother sees sense and does her side so this can all be put to bed and let me get on with my life and also to all those people on here just here to cause shit and give abuse i will pay my way but as said above only when it is proven in court
    and thanks again ash i wish you all the best keep me updated on the scumbags
    Gman

  148. gman on January 31st, 2012 10:59 pm

    chall sorry overlooked your post this has been going on for 6 years now and yes a dna test has been asked for every 6-8 months today in court they made a whole load of shit up but as luck had it i did have my own evidence i.e proof of postage photo copies and such like (PLEASE PEOPLE NEVER USE A PHONE ALWAYS SEND LETTERS RECORDED MAIL ALONG WITH A COPY OF WHAT IS SENT) so as said above i did try & try & try and fell flat on my face but now i may just be getting 1 step closer to the truth but i will keep people informed and if i can help anyone i will as the csa are doing a grand job of recking peoples lives and these people mainly NRP have nowhere to turn
    best of luck people
    Gman

  149. chall on February 1st, 2012 8:13 am

    Gman,

    I’m pleased to read that the you have managed to gain a DNA test.

    If the PWC refuses the test, the CSA should close the case.

    Should the DNA test proves you to be the child’s father, I’m sure you realise that the effective date for your case will be when the agency first made contact with you, in which case you will need to ensure that the calculation is correct and the children that reside in your household have been taken into consideration.
    However, if the DNA proves you are not and the agency had insufficient grounds to assume parentage (see link http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/ChildMaintenance/IfyourealreadyusingtheChildSupportAgency/DG_199107 ), you could maybe consider seeking redress from them.

    Good luck, let us know how you get on.

    chall ~ afairercsaforall

  150. Ash on February 1st, 2012 6:57 pm

    Tiptaptoe, what are you picking me up on i quote cant even afford a pint,
    I was just making a statement so stick to the issues in question,
    I was just saying what i have to pay out and what is left, fuckall,
    Does a man have no right to a life whether he left thru fault of his or his wife,
    As i did say many quotes above i gave my ex a house worth over £100.000 simply because i love my children and they had no say into why me and thier mother split, thats between the two of us,
    My children deserve the world as far as i am concerned but so does my ex wife and me, isnt it enough that a man has to start a new life to, or is that from a womans point of view not allowed,
    Everyone circumstances are different and i was with my wife for 19 years so what does that tell you,
    After i left and that wasnt for another woman i got called unfit father and a bad husband, Mmm but i was the sweetish man in her life when i was bringing in the money,
    You seemed to me to be another bitter and twisted female who really has no idea about other circumstances but your own,
    Tell you what i,ll do, i,ll take the easy option and go and commit suicide just like a couple of my mates did in similar circumstances as mine,

  151. Ash on February 1st, 2012 7:31 pm

    gman always a plessure to suport genuine guys in very differcult circumstances,

  152. Craig on February 2nd, 2012 6:07 am
  153. Ash on February 2nd, 2012 2:43 pm

    Craig i hear you, but if the system supported men aswell as the woman then maybe my two mates would be alive today

  154. Dan on February 2nd, 2012 7:59 pm

    Dear person on the internet,

    You are an awful human being. I feel as though a part of my faith in the human race has been irreparably damaged for having accidentally stumbled across your nasty, incoherent ramblings.

    Kind regards, Dickcheese.
    Dan

  155. Smokey on February 3rd, 2012 12:38 am

    CSA is a con.

    My ex has stopped me from seeing my two children (One of which is a step-son) and then after 8yrs stung me with CSA. I dont earn much, and have a new family and responsibilities, I had to pay 2 lots of £500 before xmas. Who here can honestly afford that? And pay their own rent and living allowances (Which were not extravagant) I lost my job because I did not have enough money for fuel (Its 60 miles away) I lost my home because I could not keep the payments on rent. I TOLD THE CSA THAT I COULD NOT AFFORD IT YET THEY STILL CHARGED ME!

    I have now left work, and live with my parents until I find a job, when I do I will use a different NI Number. If they find me I will move again, and repeat the process.
    I have not been offered a DNA test, I have not been offered to see my children, I cannot see my kids because of my ex who is jealous I now have a life, despite her living with the bastard that she had an affair with.
    All of her family including herself does not work and milks the government.
    We should name and shame the PWC’s with their addresses.

    Keiley Stimson, 100 Walter Close, Swindon. Tel – 07903541558.

    IF THEY STOP ME FROM BEING A PART OF MY KIDS LIVES THEN THEY OBVIOUSLY BELIEVE THEY CAN DO IT ON THEIR OWN.

    I TRIED TO HELP, AND I BELIEVE I SHOULD PAY, BUT NOT THE EXTORTION FROM CSA. IF SHE LETS ME SEE MY CHILDREN THEN I HAVE NO PROBLEMS IN PAYING TOWARDS THE COST OF THE CHILDS LIVING. OTHERWISE NO DEAL.

    CSA are a bunch of brain dead souless morons who have nothing better to do than to inflict financial punishment on already financially impeded people.

    How can they justify charging so much, and making this happen? Why should my Children who live with me suffer because of my ex?

    ITS ILLEGAL IS WHAT IT IS PEOPLE, WE LET THIS HAPPEN BY ALLOWING THE GOVERNMENT TO DO THIS. WE ARE THE PEOPLE THAT ALLOW THE GOVERNMENT TO OPERATE. IF WE WILL STAND SHOULDER TO SHOULDER AND SAY NO MORE, THEY HAVE TO LISTEN. BUT NO ONE HERE HAS THE BALLS TO DO IT EXCEPT ME.

    HOW MANY OF YOU HAVE GONE TO YOUR MP AND STOOD UP FOR YOURSELF? HOW MANY OF YOU HAVE REMINDED YOUR MP THAT HE WORKS FOR YOU? HOW MANY OF YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN THAT IT IS OUR COUNTRY NOT THE GOVERNMENT’S.

    ALL COURT TRIALS INVOKE YOUR RIGHT TO TRIAL BY JURY, THEN GET JURY NULLIFICATION. IF THIS FAILS LETS ORGANISE A PROTEST OR A RIOT.
    THEY WILL LISTEN THEN, IF ALL OF US MARCH UPON PARLIAMENT AND TELL THEM THERE AND THEN TO CHANGE IT, THEY HAVE TO.

    But my friends it will never happen, because all of you are spineless. I have been arrested trying to see my kids, I have been arrested just calling them up wishing them a happy christmas because my ex played the violence card, there is no proof and I never hurt her ever. Now she has the Draconian law behind her, if she dont want me to see them then I cant, thats law. How many of you have been willing to be arrested for your beliefs? I bet none of you.

    When you all grow a back bone come with me and start a protest, not about the bullshit occupy movement, but about something that matters. If you just sit there in your armchairs, then you have no right to be a father.

    Lets stop the CSA now, start hash-tagging stop csa, or lets discuss a revolution, its freedom of speech so fuck them. How are they going to stop a million dads marching on parliament? They cant end of story they will have to bow down to pressure of the people, as it is the will of the people.

  156. Smokey on February 3rd, 2012 12:43 am

    There are 30 people here on this site, that have protested here about the CSA, lets take it a step further with a march upon parliament, lets get all the dads involved.
    Lets start naming and shaming the Women who stop us from seeing the kids, who are bitches.

    Lets turn the fight around, and give them a taste of their own medicine.

    Who is with me?

  157. Ash on February 3rd, 2012 8:25 am

    Dan who and what are you refering? speak as you find but get to your point in question without accusing people of thier opinions and views, if you have a comment on the CSA lets hear it, as iv said people cases are all different , lets hear yours

  158. Ash on February 3rd, 2012 9:01 am

    Smokey a good valid point about a march, thing is if the fathers for justice cant sort it who can, thats the problem we are up against,
    Its not just the stopping of seeing your children but what they take off you as a man and what your are left with,
    No money, no home, no dignity and most of all no children in your life, again men are branded as the player, woman are as bad as men, works both ways BUT the law is with them, if a woman concents to sex with a man she can turn it around and accuse a man of rape, theres justice for you,
    If we can and you feel strong enough about it lets do it,
    One thing we need to remember is that we dont refuse to pay for our children and care but the system allows us not,
    Im not ashamed to say on here what my two mates done but as it may seem an easy option and way out for them at the time think how the CSA have distroyed lives, not just the man but the children involved,

  159. chall on February 3rd, 2012 11:35 am

    I’ve spent the past 4 years on here, my own forum and else where, answering questions from NRP & PWC re; the CSA and CS Legislation.
    Sometimes it’s confusing if a parents unhappy about the treatment they have recieved from the CSA, the PWC, the NRP , their looking for an out, looking to show their ex OR looking for some body else to vent their anger on.

    Regardless of either parents rights, it is a fundamental right for children to have support from BOTH parents. All parents, married or not, have a legal obligation to financially support their child/ren, and glaringly obvious a one sided approach for change, has not yet had a positive impact on fairer CS Legislation being created ~ so why keep going down the same route?

    Maybe some new thinking, different attitudes and a bit of empathy for each other is required from NRP’s and PWC who fall foul of the system ~ Their not your ex or responsible for your situation, every bodies case is different and it’s completely pointless venting your anger at each other.
    Working together may attract a different reaction from the Government.

    chall ~ afairercsaforall

  160. Ah on February 3rd, 2012 6:27 pm

    Wow!! I was only searching for some advice on national insurance!!
    If no one has said it already, maybe you bitter bastards should be more choosy about who you breed with. (flint did she make you fuck her?? You do know how lady’s get prego don’t you??)
    This page is like the fucking twilight zone.
    What kind of prick would deprive his kids out of spite because their ex might get some proxy happiness from it, what kind of slag uses her little intellect to get pregnant unplanned or screw a man for money using the various officials (police, CSA, Who ever) that these slappers do!! You know who you are.!!
    Flint!! Unless you want to end up in the shit, you have to be (Moral) as you put it or Normal as I like to see it… as long as pricks like you breed with cunts like your ex. The CSA will be needed. If you fucking ‘tards’ could just see how pathetic you are!!! You are insignificant and so are you petty dramas Nobody cares!!!! the CSA was created because of mongs like you!!

  161. gman on February 3rd, 2012 9:12 pm

    AH…………… go and get fucked and piss on with what you were looking for (national insurance) your clearly a nob jock who aint even got kids, who sits in his 1 bedroom flat pulling the head off it all night
    WANKER!!!!!!!!!!

  162. gman on February 3rd, 2012 9:16 pm

    SMOKEY YOUR PLAN FOR A MARCH IS GOOD BUT IT WOULD TAKE SOME PLANNING AND WE WOULD NEED MORE PEOPLE……… BUT YOUR RIGHT WE NEED TO BE HEARD SO LETS GET THE BALL ROLLING

  163. Ah on February 3rd, 2012 10:19 pm

    Sorry?
    I am a mother of 2, married ! 1 child is from an ex partner who pays regular and agreed amounts of cash for our child, no CSA needed. we were young when we had him and we moved on..(Are you aware of this). as we were not right for each other. He doesn’t live in UK any more but still manages to pay. Not that anything I said before needs that sort of justification. A single -blind- 5 year old could see that the couples not the agency are to blame for most of the grief your all complaining of….I know they have made some errors with paper work but The calculations of what you pay seems fine for some men But others want to dodge paying… The same kind of guys who would send a friend to take a DNA test!! or blood test in the old days.. You know.. I’m fully aware of the crap that goes on in a break up!!! but doesn’t DUTY mean anything to men any more
    .gman…Was it??

  164. gman on February 3rd, 2012 10:44 pm

    ANOTHER PWC WHO IS SO BITTER AND JUST WANTS TO MAKE A RANT ON HERE TYPICAL WOMAN BITTER & TWISTED BECAUSE HER HUBBY LEFT HER FOR ANOTHER WOMAN WELL BOO HOO I QUOTE YOU
    couples not the agency are to blame for most of the grief your all complaining of….I know they have made some errors with paper work but The calculations of what you pay seems fine for some men
    WELL WHAT ABOUT ALL THE GENUINE PEOPLE WHO THE CSA ARE FUCKING OVER MEN ARE LOOSING EVERYTHING BECAUSE OF BINTS LIKE YOU AND THE AGENCY YOU ALL NEED PUT IN A ROOM AND GASSED AT THE END OF THE DAY YES IT TAKES TO BUT IT SHOULD BE LAW IF A WOMAN TAKES THE OPTION TO HAVE A BABY ON HER OWN SHE SHOULD SIGN A LEGAL DOCUMENT TO SAY THE MAN HAS NO PART IN THAT CHILDS LIFE

  165. Ash on February 4th, 2012 10:10 am

    gman you wont win a debate with a woman who thinks us men are all out to not not pay, its like everything in life MONEY thats all they are concerened about , not the feelings on how it effects us all emotionally, as in my case my ex has turned my kids against me, i,ll go and see them and they look at me as if im a complete stranger , no hugs kisses nothing, very hurtfull , just remember your a bloke and your a complete BASTARD in thier eyes, as iv said before i was a wondefull husband and father till we split, and there was no other woman involved,

  166. gman on February 4th, 2012 2:48 pm

    ash
    you summed that up well MONEY MONEY MONEY its never the KIDS KIDS KIDS is it they just use your kids as a wepon of mass distruction and BOOM in a few short weeks/months alone with the mother and all of a sudden your a complete fekless CUNT!!!!!! women are full of posion 1 way or another i notice she cant reply to my post tho HMMMMMM.
    take care mate
    gman

  167. Ash on February 4th, 2012 4:51 pm

    gman there are some genuine ones out there, im 50 now and been married twice, dont blame woman entirely for my splits, but they are fueled with poison, its in them mate genetically malfunctioning from the time of conception, .
    It dosent help out situations i know BUT until the law in this county changes its gonna go on and on, if theres another life after this one im gonna come back as a woman and be a complete cunt, lol, saying that i came out one and spent so long getting back in, theres no real help out there iv searched and searched, men as i have said have took thier own lives but were given the death sentence by our own goverment who gave the CSA the power to do as they please and not done on individual cases ,

  168. Ah on February 4th, 2012 9:37 pm

    Think about your reasoning, instead of fighting to hurt the ones you are supposed to protect, I know your angry but I am only here out of pure amusement!! I’m good my life’s o.k no better or worse than average. love my kids and both their fathers and The only bitterness I have is about having to share a planet with your sort!! Things could be as easy as you want them to be..!! One day you and your ex’s will have to look your kids in the face and explain why you did what you did and you will feel so small.. If not !?? I think I will leave it, I have made my point. You can only see what your limited perspective allows. Nothing will wake you up!!!

  169. Ash on February 4th, 2012 9:45 pm

    You have no idea ok so go away, you know what gets me to, woman like you who have kids with different blokes, what are you woman a fucking production line for the CSA, and as for amusement if thats all you have to do is come on a site like this and ridicule fuck off ,
    Lol two kids with two different blokes, omg you tart, at least my 3 are with the same woman,

  170. sam on February 7th, 2012 12:00 pm

    I can’t believe some of the stuff i am reading here, there are so many bitter and twisted people here..at the end of the day a child does not ask to be born let alone be born in to a world that has such sick people in it, CSA was brought in for a reason it takes two to have a child not one, so if one of the parents leaves then why shouldn’t you help support your child as lets face it they can’t support themselves, and that goes for both man and women, I have 4 children that i support on my own from working god knows how many hours and yes i have a good job, so do not need any money form my ex partner, who doesn’t want to see them or have anything to do with them which, at the end of the day is his choice.. at least i get to see the happiness that my children bring all i can say is the children do suffer it’s not their fault that things didn’t work out between the parents..i prefer my children knowing they have one loving parent that supports them in all thier needs, and lets face it CSA wouldn’t exsist if payments were being made to the PWC from the NRP and they stuck to it without fail every month or week, CSA was brought in because of people likr FLINT man you really need to grow up and look at life and what it’s about..and yeah CSA do take far to much i agree but if the boot was on the other foot and i had to pay for my kids i wouldn’t bat an eyelid i would pay even if i didn’t have a penny to scratch my ass with as it’s for them to have a life, so all PWC are not the same some of us still have some respect.

  171. Ash on February 7th, 2012 7:53 pm

    Sam you have some good points, its not a matter of sick people on here its the facts and the figures that the CSA take from the NRP,
    As from the year 2006 when me and my wife split i still dont have an home which i can call my own, i lost my job of 13 years with the same company due to all the stress and breakup,
    Who fault? im not blamimng my ex or myself, things just happen to a point where it gets to the point where you cant get your head around WHY,
    I can understand in my case how my ex felt and probably stills feels to this day what went wrong,
    Children are the ones that suffer so much but i will never accept the CSA as a fair organization for the man, who i think as a right and still a duty to provide for his children/child,
    Iv lived in my van at tempatures -5 -6 sometimes colder because i couldnt afford a roof over my head,
    My ex had our house of £130000 which i gave her for herself and our kids,
    Now 6 years on i still have no place to call my own,
    Iv nevered had my kids stay with me one night since me and my ex split in 2006, not good for them or me,
    So do you see the syetem as fair for the man or are you one of these woman that dont give a flying f or are you a sympathetic woman that had feeling and dosent carry round bitterness within,
    As iv quoted before each and every case should be looked at on circumstances not on a set of rules and figures that take most of us men for every penny we earn,

  172. david cattell on February 7th, 2012 8:22 pm

    have 3 grown up kids my youngest is 19 and working and i have been paying for them via a deduction of earnings order since i split up from my ex 18 yrs ago. Just before xmas i find they have given me a new deduction from earnings order when i queried this i got told it was a mistake and they would rectify it they didn’t and for the last two month they have taken £300 a month of me claiming i owe them £700 now (which i can’t because i have been paying them already) so they now in my opinion owe me £600 any idea how to get that money back am thinking about taking them to a small claims court incompetent or what

  173. sam on February 8th, 2012 10:25 am

    Ash you have a really good point i have never agreed with the amount that child support take from a NRP be it a man or a woman, but then it should be fair for both sides if only there was a way where NRP could make payments to the PWC with no CSA involed and stick it maybe the CSA would disappear who knows, and i am not classing all men the same but sometimes it’s the guy that doesn’t keep his payments up and then the PWC seeks advice from CSA and becomes bitter and twisted, i just think life is to short to be so bitter, for goodness sake you split for a reason get on with and live your life, and the women that are bitter and twisted are just making guys think we are all the same, we are not just a shame there aren’t more of us that are understanding, just makes me wonder how they would feel if the boot was on the other foot, maybe then their outlook on life would change, and they may think twice about screwing someone over, and start to think the life isn’t always a revenge it about living and taking care of the kids that are in the middle of all this and didn’t ask to be…

  174. sam on February 8th, 2012 11:15 am

    To be honest Ash i can speak like this cause of the hand i was dealt with in life, I was married for a long time, did everything i could within my power to make or life happy and worked all the hours god sent to make ends meet, after awhile my partner starting abusing and using me as a punch bag, i just thought it was a stage he was going through and stuck with him but after my last daughter was born i decided it wasn’t fair for the kids to see or hear so i was the one that walked out with the children with no where to go or anything,i lived on benefits for awhile and was pushed non stop to claim CSA, which i didn’t wanted to i explained the reason’s why they still didn’t listen and kept pushing me, so in the end i thought fuck this i can’t live my life like this so i picked myself up and i still had some self respect left got a job, brought my house and live my life with my kids knowing they are happy and loved my me and i am the one benefiting from their love.. as for him he was left with everything my house my car the lot, so for all the women out their that care the bitter and twisted revenge sticker it doesn’t work and one day it will bite them on the ass, they think it’s ok to use a child as a weapon and a payday it is so wrong of them, a child should be loved and cared for by both parents, my partner doesn’t both with his children as i said before his choice,.. THIS IS WHY I GET SO MAD AT THE WOMEN WHO ARE SO BITTER AND TWISTED, guessing after what i went through i should be like it but i don’t want to be as i have respect for myself and my children why should they suffer over things and lets be honest does all the money you guys pay really get spent on the kids?????
    CSA should like at each case and agree with both parents a reasonable amount to be paid then maybe everything would be ok who knows

  175. Ash on February 8th, 2012 4:13 pm

    Sam at the end of your comment about does the woman get all the money we as fathers pay, well iv asked my ex an she says she dosent, i have no reason to dis believe her as shes not a vindictive person,
    I also would love to find out why and where does all the payment go,
    I wished me and my ex never split as its had a massive impact on all of us, sometimes things are out of our hands in the way of our destiny in life,
    Must say my ex is doing a great job raising our 3 children, my contribution to it dosent come close, if only relationship breakdowns were not always to do with money im sure an amical agreement would work wonders,
    I felt after 19 years that i done a great job but in the beginging of our split my ex did use everything she could do to make make life hell, things now are better but not 100%,
    As in some cases not all the CSA and the rules they are govern by do not make a split amicable, bitterness rund on both sides, no amount of money will ever mend the hurt that we all went thru at that time,
    Just a fairer way of doing things would get my vote,

  176. chall on February 8th, 2012 4:18 pm

    Quote Ash; Just a fairer way of doing things would get my vote.

    Think most of us would be happy with that Ash.

    chall ~ afairercsaforall

  177. amby07 on February 14th, 2012 1:08 pm

    hello all im in the same boat pay csa and i dont grumble even thou csa made me lose my job my ex dose not work got pregnant again by another bloke he wants nothing to do with the child but she wont get on to the csa to get any money off him but she want money off me i have him every weekend and phone him most days in the week aswell all she uses my money for is to pay off items that she has brought for herself not paying for clothes for him i have clothes at mine for him and now she is with her new bloke all she wants to do is consentrate on her new bloke and go drinking there are good dads and good mothers if the bad parents that dont want to pay csa or see there kids then why dont they give up there rights as a parent take there name off the birth cetificate then the good parents can get on with there and the kids lives

  178. gman on February 14th, 2012 8:20 pm

    HI AMBY07
    there is 1 thing to do KILL the bitch your kid is better off without her women like this play the system to screw YOU and live the highlife nothing will ever change on that score cos the goverment are all in on this horrid thing see if she dont work then you pay the csa who then payes the gouverment for her keep they would rather watch men kill themself or fuck off away from their life and dump the life they are trying to build 1 word ASSHOLES!!!!!!!!!!
    I wish i had never set eyes on the bitch who is trying to screw me and when i say trying thats as far as it will go well untill the csa provide a dna test
    hold your head high mate
    gman

  179. tEZ on February 14th, 2012 11:54 pm

    KEEP YOUR XXXX IN YOUR PANTS …….THEN YOU DONT GET KID WHOM NEED YOUR SUPPORT …. DEAD BEAT PARENTS .

  180. tEZ on February 14th, 2012 11:58 pm

    AND YOU WONDER WHY WE LEAVE WITH ATTITUDES LIKE THAT

  181. tEZ on February 15th, 2012 12:22 am

    SOME PEOPLE ARE EVIL VILE BITTER TWISTED BEINGS .WE LEAVE TO PROTECT OUR CHILDREN FROM THIS

  182. gman on February 15th, 2012 5:44 pm

    DEAD BEAT PARENTS YEAH RIGHT
    So how is it i have 3 dependent children who live with me. ill tell you how because i wanted them thats how not because some little tart caught me out well thats if the child is mine as like all little slags do she was putting it about ALOT
    So when the csa do provide me with a dna test and that is a WHEN i will provide and pay my way but untill then not 1penny will leave my wallet so you carry on with your life and dont come on here as a PWC slagging or calling people names when you no nothing about peoples cases if anything you need help like most women
    GMAN

  183. gman on February 16th, 2012 8:07 pm

    JUST AS I THOUGHT SCUM!!!!!

  184. Ash on February 16th, 2012 9:48 pm

    gman you are wasting your time with some on here, most woman are none sympathetic towards any man let alone the genuine ones, we are tarnished with the same brush as those who blatantly refuse to be a good father, just remember this , quote, woman was made from the rib of a man, what does that tell you, god couldnt really be arsed to start a fresh and make a perfect woman, hence god using a rib from a man who had no need for it, Woman need a man for one purpose, MONEY nothing else,

  185. The CSA should be closed down! on February 16th, 2012 10:28 pm

    Firstly Ash please don’t tarnish all women with the same brush because I am hard working and would never ask or expect anyone to pay for me or my children should I ever have any. But I can understand where your coming from giving the comments on here from some stupid women! I cannot believe the CSA can be allowed to treat people this way. Men have taken their own lives because they can’t afford to pay the ridiculous amount of money the CSA want! Surely something should be done about this! My partner had 2 children with his ex and she cheated on him and when he wouldn’t take her back because of this she got bitter and didn’t let him see his children and she moved miles away! She got the CSA onto him and he’s had a struggle ever since. He wants to pay for his children but not for her holidays to Vegas! He earns £1000 a month the CSA want £550 per month out of this, £300 normal payments and £250 a month for debt. This only leaves him £50 a month for food, petrol, insurance etc after rent! It’s a ridiculous amount and the children are 17 and 20 now (obviously he doesn’t pay for the 20 yr old anymore) It really frustrates me how she works and her new husband works, they have a nice car, a nice house go to America 3 times a yr while my partner is struggling to eat and pay rent! I feel ashamed to be a woman after reading the comments on here! Women are now making a living out of having children it’s disgusting! And the stupid cow who works for the CSA, what is your problem love!? How sick are you to get pleasure out of taking someone’s house!? You really confirm my theory that all people who work for the CSA are bitter, twisted man hating twats!

  186. Ash on February 17th, 2012 12:02 pm

    Firstly to the above, i apologise for some of my comments but as you rightly say not all woman are of the same,
    I do get angry and frustrated about certain situations that happen between two people but, the percentage and the statistics show how unfair the system is and still is to this day, if im correct in saying the CSA was formed in 1991/92 from what i can remember and still to this day as iv said and also you have pointed out men have taken thier own lives, not due to not wanting to pay but couldnt plus have a life of thier own after,
    Its so sad that after all these years and the men who have taken thier own lives things have not improved,
    If i was to say i havent or not considered taking my own life i would be lieing,
    It dosent take a coward it takes guts and courage,
    Threatening men with a prison sentance, taking away his driving licence, taking away virtually everything he owns is behond me,
    Im going to say on here what i earn a week, well what i come out with, £150,
    Now considering my rent as i have no mortgage anymore is £64 a week, i have to run a small van, insurance and tax plus maintanance of the vehicle, diesel, food council tak bill, take all that out plus £132 a month for CSA payments, dosent sound alot if you break it down over a week but all this out of £150 and work out whats left, A BIG NOTHING, i used to smoke now i cant, which ok might be a good thing for my health but why should i stop if i liked it, i used to like going out once a week cant do that now,
    Now on another note my ex goes abroad at least once a year, i cant, i gave her a £140000 house for her and our children, i live in a small 1 bed flat with no room for an over night stay for my children, she works part time, but she always did, take my hat off to her, children want for nothing, my eldest studying law very clever girl, my othe two both have a good education are not effected by our split, well not now anyway, kids cope,
    I could go on but who listens to us men, not many, so as i said to the lady above im sorry if any of my comments have offended you, not intended,

  187. gman on February 17th, 2012 10:04 pm

    WELL ASH the comments above prove there are a few decent women out there not many but a few the csa should be closed down your right but like ive said before and ill say again it NEVER WILL as it makes too much money for who? (the gouverment)
    now after my court date 31/01.12 the csa have sorted a DNA test out through a company called cellmark YEAH RIGHT they sorted it ok i recieved a letter today saying i had 7 days to pay £408 or they would refer my case back to the scum (CSA) as they would take it as i was not wanting to do it and before some snotty up her self woman jumps in here i do want to do it just i aint got 408pence spare after bills it would take me a month or so to get this kind of money together even then i would have to miss important household bills in order to do so
    why should my 3 kids go without when a multi billion ££££ company could easy cover this and add it onto my already growing bill i tell you now they could its just they hate men full stop so choose not to help so they can cause upset to guess who MEN
    my solicitor today hit the nail on the head he said i should go self employed claim a small wage and get the cunts to recalculate my payments what do you know about this ash any help i would be very greatful mate
    gman

  188. Ash on February 18th, 2012 5:30 pm

    gman what i would do is what your solicitor has said, find a job where you can earn money on a self employed bases, now by doing that you must keep accounts of your earning, eg a diary of your work and what you earn, if you give me your email address i will tell you exactly what and how i do it, im not going to put personal information on a site like this because they will have you as quick as you can imagine,
    Obvioulsy there are people on here that will pass your information on to the authorites and drop you in the shit mate, just email me at [email protected] and i,ll be happy to pass on more info,

  189. MEc on February 20th, 2012 4:20 pm

    my son is now 22 and 15 years ago…. I had a phone call and literally they said Ah Got U… I said pardon…we are the CSA u have not been paying child supprt for 10 years now its time 2 pay… Errhhh actually I pay u every month….No u don’t prove it… well yes actually I can ….finally they agreed I had been paying them… they then said ah but u have been paying the wrong amount…on what basis ???? well we did an assessment on u back in 1996 and u should be paying this amount… I said well actually I wrote to u contesting this and gave u my new address I was moving to. Well we issued the reply to your old address…..So they did a reassesment and found their 1996 assessment was far to hire. They wanted over £6500 unpaid payments… said well u can see obviously this amount was wrong…. they told me to write in… did so… no answer… rang in numerous times fobbed off…. finally spoke to a guy who turned around and said…Don’t understand.. u were issued a final decision back in 1996 (to my old address) there is no way we can change the £6500…came to an agreement to pay a little extra per month slowly paying off the amount…. son turned 18 suddenly I had phone calls at work…not asking was it ok to speak.. just straight in…once when I had a customer in front of me….basically demanding the £4000 that was left to be paid NOW !…. Was told we can see you have a Credit Card with a limit of £6000 pay it NOW !!!….I said I am not putting it on my Credit Card… and the answer was see you in court then type attitude….After speaking to 3 horrible people I finally spoke to somebody human ….Lucky I have a supporting family and they lent me the money to pay it off..All this when I had a 1 year old son…. they weren’t interested in his welfare… only the money

  190. MEc on February 20th, 2012 4:26 pm

    The stress and pressure they put you under was unbelievable … sadly no wonder men have committed suicide.

    I just gave my son my old car…….finally able to afford a newer one…..the car said more to him then any CSA payment ever

  191. Ah on February 21st, 2012 9:03 pm

    I think both sides are capable of making it impossible to have a civilised arrangement. Your opinion is wrong about my situation GMAN & Ash . I am the kind of person that wants everyone to get on!! and this sort of hateful nonsensical crap, offends me. Your only harming your self and your offspring. Nobody asked you to have sex, I don’t think the men are to blame, If you read my first post you would see that I mention both sides, stubbornness and game playing on BOTH sides is the point I made!! My ex pays because I guess he sees it as the right thing, I never needed to fight for It and probably wouldn’t have even if he had been different. That’s what I meant when I said its made for your kind!!
    I see that you still don’t want to let the bitterness YOU carry go!! Angry emotional!! your clearly not having a good time feeling so fucked over but the thing is that’s coz your seeing it as a war to be won or lost. Which will only cause more shit for you and make you act as a reaction not as a choice, you would say and do things against your own beliefs to beat the system!! that’s not even human that is just acting on animal instinct…
    There are thousands of couples splitting all the time with no need for the csa! The PWC work so there is no issue with the other parent having to reimburse the state, they are known as reasonable people!!! I even know women that wont take money from ex’s as their pride makes them want to stand on their own feet. You must have met people that have not had the bad experience described on this site..people more like I have described. What is your opinion of people that don’t cause drama!! Are they all bitter as you say I am. Instead of breaking what remains of your own family’s apart maybe you should try to do something that actually makes them and yourself happy like Writing to you kids about your REAL feelings and saving the letters until they are older That’s one idea anything would be better than spouting of and feeding your hatred. BTW I can’t stay away now I found this I love debating!!?

  192. sam on February 22nd, 2012 11:44 am

    So what happens when you’re persuaded into having a child by your partner a year into the relationship (we we’re engaged). I found out later he was a compulsive liar :o( Then when the novelty has worn off he’s off with someone else with no children (nice and easy). leaving you with a disabled child to care for 24/7. He never bothers with the child not even a card at xmas/birthdays and you get no respite from the role at all? His family can’t be bothered either as they don’t want any responsibility, disabled children are hard work! He has Autism, ADHD and severe learning diablities.
    I have a child from another relationship with a father that I have never asked for anything, as he wants to see his child and shares the responsibility. What i’m asking is if you have no-one to help with the child in question ie no family etc and cannot get respite as the child is under 5, and the father doesn’t care at all what do you do? I had a nervous breakdown looking after my son for 3 years alone without a break. Child care costs £120 a day, yes a day! If he wont look after the son he wanted shouldn’t he have to help pay for some child care? just so i get to have a few moments to myself? He has made sure he never does anything for anyone other than himself. He doesn’t spend most nights up all night with his son, or going crazy repeatedly trying to help his son whom cannot speak and ask for what he wants.
    I am committed to my children and would do anything to make them happy, but i am also a person too, but never get any time to myself. His father stole any chance I had to have any kind of life or career, and his response when asked about his son was “I can’t look after him he would ruin my life!”, but he was ok with it taking mine! So what now?

  193. Rebecca on February 22nd, 2012 4:59 pm

    Ok ok… lets scrap CSA.
    Lets go halves instead on everything for the child.
    Based around a single mother, no other man around, working full time with a small baby on £30000 a year. If your paying halves then she wont need any benefits as well. BONUS!
    Lets start

    Childcare costs
    £150/2 = £75 a week

    water about
    £35/2 = £17.5
    £17.5/2 = £8.75 a month as thats half of babies side

    gas and electric mine has been £140 per month for the winter months as heating needs to be on for littl’n constantly.
    so I would use about £40 on my own so take that off lets half £100
    £100/2 = £50
    £50 a month

    food
    £35/2 = £17.50 per week
    £75 a month.

    clothes
    £60/2 = £30

    I tell you what… now i know some men dont like handing over money and some pathetic bints dont like their husbands providing for their ex children, more fool you, when he ditches you you’ll be in the same position as his ex. I find that absolutely hilarious! Don’t give women the cash… just pay the company we’ll give you the details so you can pay them!

    Now lets see what the cost is……
    monthly
    childcare £325
    water £8.50
    G & E £50
    food £75.83
    clothing £30

    Total £489.33 a month

    If the woman stays at home and decides to look after your children at home while you earn and create a better life for yourself, you don’t even have to pay childcare costs! lucky you, nor do you have to think about childcare. You’ll have it made!

    Strangely enough… most women aren’t asking for all that though they are only asking for a measly 15% that the csa can try and get out of you ‘deadbeat dads’ to provide for the children you had with them.

    I know lots of women that have turned down the csa because the amount is so rediculously small they have told them where to stick it!

    Someone said something about creating a website for men that don’t want to pay for their children. I think that is a brilliant idea!!
    A lot of men are saying some awful things on this site, if you had to show your faces you wouldn’t dare say it!!!!!!!!
    I feel sorry for the women that date these men, their heads will be filled with lies about how they tried to pay, how the ex didn’t take the pill (deliberately) how you tried to see your kids but she wouldn’t let you boohoo. Women wise up to what these men are doing its better to be single believe me!!
    Kudos to the good men out there!

  194. Ash on February 22nd, 2012 7:52 pm

    Rebecca try me id show my face and say anything i like, Rebecca go and join the other bitter and twisted bitches on here, your just a man hater face it,

  195. rebecca on February 22nd, 2012 11:55 pm

    i dont hate men. i hate narcisistic people. there are lots on here and your denying that, will be part of that trait. your not arguing to lower the payments your argueing because you want every penny of your hard earned cash to yourself as a guy on here puts it ‘looking after number 1′. narsisistic. i love spending every penny of my hard earned cash on my children. i love seeing them in nice clothes i love buying them their favourite toys. they get everything before i do without question! it shouldnt be about money on here it should be about the precious times you have with your children. their first steps, their giggles, beautiful smiles and providing basic necessities for your innocent children. i think its heart breaking that any man can talk about providing for his child in such a way! many men on here will be saying she wont let me see my kids. what ive noticed by lots of men is they originally wanted to show up at the womans door demanding to see his children as and when it suited. ive heard it many times by the blokes themselves! if the woman then stops contact because he doesnt show up, he then doesnt understand why shes done it or how much doing that damages their child. ive seen that first hand too. its VERY common! im sure one of you narcisists has a comment to make defending yourself on why your child doesnt deserve any of your money.

  196. Ash on February 23rd, 2012 7:10 pm

    You talk total bollocks, my children can have my last penny if it was down to me, BUT i have to have a job to provide for them, i would like my own home to have them stop over but still i cant afford my own place, and as for looking after nu 1 you talk gabbage, i dont give a shit about the money side of things, as iv said before its how the CSA go about doing things, in my case i showed up everytime i was supposed to, then came the excuses, o your son has gone to a friends party, o your daughter dont want to come because her brother wont be coming, that happened to me time and time again over a two year period, If any guy on here wants to look after nu 1 then so be it because if he cant look after himself he cant provide for his children, these dabates come in so many different forms but you are just picking out the cases that you can refere to, again change shoes for a minute do your homework then say something constructive, O by the way STOP useing ypour big words to try a baffle some people on here, dosent work with me lol

  197. Ash on February 23rd, 2012 7:17 pm

    Forgot to add, QUOTE It shouldnt be about money, then QUOTE, on why your child doesnt deserve any of your money.
    Very contradictive,

  198. gman on February 23rd, 2012 9:37 pm

    ash this rebecca should be hung she is probs the type that traps a bloke contacts the csa then stings the man for every penny possible just so she can drive the flash car and have the fancy holidays 3 times a year people like this aint worth shit so please dont loose any sleep tonight as i wont, lol
    rebecca please do go and fuck yourself as your just the same as zll the others!!!!!
    gman

  199. Ash on February 24th, 2012 1:34 pm

    gman as always it isnt about the children with some of the crap that woman come out with, constructive remarks im ok with, but when you get a woman that says in one breath it shouldnt be about the money , then oh why your child dosent deserve any of your money confusesme.com lol,
    As you so righly say flash car/s holidays abroad, i wish i could, and i wish i could afford to take them abroad, this site will always go back and fourth with the narrowed minded people on here, again i will stress not all woman or men are bad and i wouldnt call my ex about anything other than she got the CSA onto me within two weeks of our split, after 19 years together im sure an amicable agreement would have worked, but as we know some woman will do anything to make sure a man will suffer and end up with nothing, even the kids,

  200. gman on February 26th, 2012 9:40 pm

    well said ash mate

  201. andy on March 2nd, 2012 2:04 pm

    Rebecca,

    So if we are talking halves, can us men have the child related benefits taken into account? we dont get to claim them towards the up keep of CSA payments, little calculation to see how we compare as PWC and NRP with the NRP working and earning £30k and the PWC on income support due to being a lazy cow.

    PWC – on benefits
    Child Tax Credits: 59.36 Weeky
    Income Support: 67.50 Weekly
    Council tax Benefit (band A): £18.74
    Housing Benefit: 75 Weekly
    Child Benefit: 20.30
    CSA: 66
    total: 306.90 PER WEEK tax free.
    £16000 A Year for doing nothing put pop a kid out, to earn that as an employee you would need to earn atleast £20000 before tax and then travel expenses for work, car etc etc.

  202. Ash on March 2nd, 2012 5:31 pm

    Andy well said, but you will have to wait till the hard bitch has had a think on what you have put

  203. Rose on March 2nd, 2012 10:19 pm

    All this discussion and argument has made me feel sick.
    By chance, this appeared on my homepage and I decided to click on it, as my family struggles as my dad refuses to pay us any money, but expects to turn up and have all the fun aspects of life, yet none of the responsibilities.
    I am 15, and I have not had a good relationship with my dad since I was 11 when him and my mum split up, and I had to watch her cry almost every night. No doubt my dad was unhappy too, but over time he’s become more and more bitter, provokes my mum by filming her if she tries to disagree, brings my little brother home late to see how far he can push her.
    I loved both my parents,and although you may think I am biased as I live with my mum, I can honestly say that she cares a lot more about me, my little brother, and our family.
    My dad chooses not to see me, or ask to see me, as he is very controlling and knows that he cannot manipulate me anymore. I have tried to get along with him, but he doesn’t know me anymore. In this mess of a divorce he’s missed my brother and I growing up, which is very sad, but he has only himself to blame.
    Now I try to keep him out of my life as much as possible, especially since he is only interested in my brother, and it’s easier to be a happy functional family without him.
    I am sorry to all the people who have divorced, I can’t even imagine how hard it must be, but I strongly believe that, although specific circumstances can change things, everyone must try to make it easier for their children, and just take a step back and look at the situation without all the bitterness and hate and do your best to carry on.
    I also believe that although the benefits system can always be criticized, CSA is there to help your children, and above all, show you are still there for them and will do whatever it takes, so if you can, pay it. I’d respect my dad a lot more if he did, especially as he does work, and buys a new wii game every week, which shows just how fucked up his priorities are.
    I have grown up without my dad, and now I’m most scared of turning out as selfish as him. Please don’t let that happen to your kids.
    And grow up, half of you obviously don’t know how to spell or how to get your opinion across without swearing and being insulting, I’m 15, and I assume that most of you are adults with children, so you should act like it.

  204. dlm on March 5th, 2012 12:00 am

    I can say as a woman who lives with a NRP – we don’t have any children of our own – but I have seen my partner go through hell and like many others on here cannot see his children because the ex has put many barriers in the way. He gave her the house because she g-teed they would remain in the area, which she then sold saying she couldn’t afford it and moved, he pays his maintenance through the CSA – that was his choice to go for the CSA as the ex was bleeding us dry with her attitude of “i can’t afford to live on anything less than……”. I don’t begrudge anyone money don’t get me wrong. But she didn’t need the money she just didn’t want to compromise her high end lifestyle – although my partner and I had to (moving 4 times to be able to afford the bills – no extra luxuries) and eventually my partner was declared bankrupt due to the amount of stuff that was taken on during the divorce to make the ex and children comfortable. But when a scorned woman or man for that matter I guess, gives over a petulant childish look when you tell them you can’t afford your rent & tells you “tough you will have to move” and uses the children at every turn as weapons but still manages to have 3 or 4 holidays (foreign) per year, then the CSA was the only choice. I have to be honest the CSA have been really good in being fair, maybe we are an exception to the rule?. Although I do have an objection to the justice system – as contact orders etc are bloomin useless and more needs to be done to be able to enforce them without costing more and more money – children need both parents but thats just my opinion – I can see why men get so frustrated with things.

  205. Alison on March 5th, 2012 8:43 pm

    In an ideal world, children created by two parents should be supported and nurtured by two parents. There are many ways to avoid paying child support if you are self-employed, I know because that is what the father of my four children has managed to do for the last 9 years.
    I am currently working with my M.P. to make deliberate non-payment/avoidance of child maintenance a criminal rather than civil offence. This is an attempt to cut down the number of children who are growing up in poverty which is detrimental to many aspects of their lives.
    I am fed up with winning my tribunals and having liability orders against HIM that CMEC cannot enforce. I know I am only one of thousands of PWCs who is constantly let down by the pathetic system we have currently in place to deal with these “deadbeat NRPs” . The law has to change.
    If anyone wishes to add their comments to our campaign, please leave a message on this site and it will be considered in the forthcoming debate.
    Thank you!!

  206. Ash on March 5th, 2012 9:44 pm

    Rose you have some good points but can i just point out at the end of your comment its not about who can spell and all of us react different, we sometimes say things on impulse and it dosent always come out on here as you can read it wrong,
    Now as a child i really can appreciate how you feel i went thru it with my eldest daughter who was 14 at the time, i couldnt see it at first how much she was hurting and couldnt understand why her mum and me had split when things to her seemed ok, now as a father i tried to hide what was going on but shes a very intelligent girl,
    Your father seems a waste of time and i dont like saying that because hes your flesh and blood,
    The CSA are responsible for many peoples reactions, the issues were always about money and not how both mum and dad and the children were affected,
    Like most things in life if it dosent involve money then things dont matter, my kids can have anything and has much as i can give them, but it aint about them things with me its about my kids loving me for me and me for them,
    To much is based on the finance of things because thats how society has become, your life my kids the mother and dads life have no value, authorities that are dictated to by goverment have the upper hand at no matter what cost,
    I hope in time as you grow and go out into the big wide world things will seem so much clearer , most of us dont choose this path, shit happens,

  207. Ash on March 6th, 2012 12:03 pm

    Alison if your other half is self employed its rubbish they cant get hold of him, if hes declaring his earning thru the tax office they shud be able to get him, if hes not registered then hes commiting fraud, im self employed and pay for my children, if you say about the law changing then believe me it wont make a difference because the NRP will just go on the dole to avoid paying, its a fairer system that needs to be applied,
    In most cases the CSA will make it hard for the NRP which is unfair if hes a decent bloke, the NRP deserves a life to in an ideal world, as iv said before its all about money and not the devastating effect it has on all parties involved,
    Again i stress in my previous comments my ex goes abroad twice a year , my kids want for nothing, they have a good home to live in which i handed over as they deserve that, after 6 years i still dont have a home, iv lived with friends, family members and even in the back of my van, is that justice, i dont think so, dosent matter whos fault it was for the split, most decent men get the rough end of the stick, those who dont pay deserve all they get,

  208. dlm on March 6th, 2012 1:44 pm

    Rebecca – unfortunately not every mother is like you, or Ash or myself and my partner & wishing to spend every penny on the children – some ex partners just wish to see their ex with nothing and have the children dangled in front of them as some sort of vindictive weapon. I saw and experienced it first hand – my partners ex who now doesn’t even allow contact for her own selfish reasons – even though there is a court order for contact in place – the ex and childrens mother has violated it.

    my partner and I went to court to ensure contact (my partner was only give 4 weeks in total over a 52 week year how disgraceful is that) – this cost money we couldn’t afford due to my partners bankruptcy – then if one side doesn’t honour the contact order – you can enforce it – again more money into the legal system – which we couldn’t afford, if that order is violated – what choice are you left with? putting a mother or father into prison – How many parents could look their own children in the face and say I put mummy/daddy in prison becuse they wouldn’t let me see you? – you wouldn’t do that (unless there was extreme circumstances) no matter how hard faced or bitter you are – so the PWC (normally the mothers) generally wins when it comes to access with the children

    Lets be fair – there are parents who will give anything to see their children and pay every penny but when there is a split/divorce – what gives a woman the right to dangle the children and use them as a weapon against their father or vice versa? I personally disagree with grown adults doing this to their own flesh and blood who they “love unconditionally” and this justice system including the CSA for some people needs a radical over haul for all concerned – when a couple split -they both deserve to be able to move on and have another attempt at happiness and still play an important role in their childs lives – but that takes 2 ADULTS to put aside their own feelings of bitterness/resentment and concentrate on whats best for the children and not themselves.

  209. Alison on March 7th, 2012 2:18 pm

    Hi Ash thanks for your comments!
    My Ex has been self-employed and is not registered with the tax office. He HAS gone onto unemployment benefit DESPITE running his business and DESPITE having received an inheritance of over £100,000 (which would make him ineligible for any benefits). The tribunals have always ruled in my favour and have imposed an income on him becasue he refuses to comply with them when they ask for his bank records, receipts, invoices, proof of benefits etc so an accurate assessment of his income cannot be made. The bailiffs have done all their calls to his property to recover goods but have never been successful. He does not respond or comply with any directions either from the tribunals or the CSA. It is these deliberate avoiders that should be subject to criminal proceedings not the average self-employed fathers who are unable to pay and who work with the CSA and Tribunals. So I whole-heartedly apologise to you and all you other sel-employed NRPs who are doing your bit. In case we are into naming and shaming these deadbeats, my children’s father is MICHAEL THOMAS CRAIG who lives in Sidcup, Kent and runs a catering business called THE HOGFATHER

  210. Ash on March 7th, 2012 5:10 pm

    Alison hes a scumbag, if he has recieved an inheritance and thinks the money is more important than his on flesh and blood he aint worth shit,
    Its a shame in your case that the athorities cant get him because if they can take £5.00 a week out of someone whos on job seekers there is deff something wrong in the system,
    Trouble with bailiffs unless they have a warrant and acompanied by the police they stand no chance of working out a settlement or a payment for the support of your children,
    Naming and shaming is a good thing in your case and other cases with those fathers who refuse thier duty as a father,
    I hope you keep up your fight and in your case id be sure to let your children know everything they need to know,
    Not a nice thing to do but fathers like him deserve nothing but bad things in thier life,again children are the ones that suffer long term, and as iv said before all cases and circumstancies should be looked at on an individual bases.
    Im not a believer that if you earn £1000.00 a month then someone else earns £400.00 a month they should pay similar amounts for either 1 child or 3 ,
    I earn roughly £800.00 a month and pay £132.00 a month for 3 children, now i think iv got off lightly , but saying that with what i have to pay out as a self employed person i still cannot afford to rent or even consider buying a place, the buisness has no up or down proffit margins, thats basically my earnings before deductions,

    For a 1 bed flat where i live is £72 a week then theres the rest that goes with it, council tax, utilities, food, out of all that comes the running of my van, wear and tear which all vehicles accur,
    So thats a rough guide to what i have to pay out, out of £200 a week theres not a lot left but i pay,
    So Micheal Thomas Craig your a scumbag

  211. s langford on March 7th, 2012 8:03 pm

    my husband left me three years ago i work to support my children one of them whome he sees twice a month (his choice) all he has to pay is 27 pound a week ..my argument is he cant even be bothered to pay it three times csa complience officers have been to his work issuing necessary procedures 3 times he has ignored them …he works his new gf gets benefits because their on the fiddle ..this being my reason for being so bitter ..they can sit in a pub every weekend rather than getting his priorities right …prison??? i wish …best place for him

  212. Ash on March 8th, 2012 3:35 pm

    Why would prison be the best place for him, firstly it would cost me the tax payer to keep him there untill hes done his time, secondly if he is or was working he wont be until he comes out, if he goes on the dole i,ll be paying his job seekers until he finds work, its a vicious circle,

  213. Ash on March 8th, 2012 4:25 pm

    Can i just add to my above comment,
    S Langford, what has his gf got to do with anything, your dispute is with him, she shouldnt have no say or rights in what goes on between you both,
    I had this when i re-married and i told the CSA dont even go there with my new wife, my kids , my ex lets deal with that, Why is it fair that a new wife or husband foot the cost of someone elses children,

  214. Kim on March 14th, 2012 4:46 pm

    Right my fella is paying csa and the women uses the child against him. BUT we still pay. the amount she gets is completely wrong and the child doesnt see a penny. We struggle to have food in the cupboards and pay our bills. we are in dept up to the eye balls and when we have the child we have to buy everything ourself because she wont even send up clothes etc. Luckily we have his parents who help us and i have to work 3 jobs as well as juggling uni and he works all the hours god sends.

    In some way the csa shouldnt give direct money they should take the money and put them into tokens for what the child needs instead. and why does it have to be 20% of the wage? doesnt all children cost around the same in england because if they need special items or anything its all on the NHS ( her mum is a dole dosser who trapped my partner on a one night stand)

    I dont think you should ever stop paying because it works in your favour when the child grows up and sees her mum for the real person she is. a money grabbing b***tch. We are even now considering going court and going for shared custody.

    So flint you are wrong in trying to stop paying because if you want to know your child when he/she is older then let her make the decision. it shows you did everything you could.

  215. Ash on March 14th, 2012 9:11 pm

    Good comments Kim,
    My 18 year old still dosent have anything to do woth me 6 years down the line, if the mother poisends them then you have no chance,
    My 10 year old dosent even respond to me , she hides behind her mother everytime i go and see her, my lad is 15 hes coming around slowly but sure,
    The man will always be branded the bastard in it all, the CSA are in the womans favour everytime, if you are considering going to court with it all just remeber it will cost you as they dont give you legal aid,
    The CSA have you by the short and curlies as the saying goes,

    What gets me is why the new woman in the mans life is penalised to, you earn as well as your fella you pay, its so wrong,

  216. Kim on March 15th, 2012 3:41 pm

    Thank you.

    If the mother does what you said at least the child cant say you never tried. if you get me. We’ve seen an solicitor and if we decide to go ahead they will do an eligibly form to see if we do qualify for free legal action, because the laws changed where men have equal rights as women the dads can now apply for free legal action as long as they don’t own a house or earn to much etc.. Same with women now a days too.

    Also if you are on the new scheme they don’t take the partners income any more just the NRP’s income which is lucky for us as we earn so little.

    I just find it unfair how the child is not even seeing a penny of the money yet we pay loads. on his wage alone its 141 a month, (this is quite low against some peoples but alot to us) We contacted the csa because originally she wanted £250 a month plus half of everything she bought!!

    If we go court we are going for shared custody.
    I think the way women treat men by using the children is terrible. we cant afford to have the child unless she sends up nappies and milk etc yet she keeps demanding he buys his own. so he did and a couple of days later she didnt have any so he sent his down so the child didnt go without and now shes sayign he needs to buy more cause she refuses to send any up. she wont even send clothes up luckily my mum has a little girl and has given us all her old toys and clothes etc. Im sure if we are paying out csa she has to send milk and nappies and clothes up unless we have her over night. Could you enlighten this?

  217. Kim on March 15th, 2012 3:57 pm

    Just seen that rebeccas comments! how pathetic!

    I have paid out my spare money i use to spend to treat myself or go out with friends buying toys etc (cheaply and second hand) but still!, and to top it off my partners baby was a mistake from a one night stand he had just after he broke up with his ex of four years. plus gas electric water and food is the mothers part if they have them full time. if you cant afford to pay then give the child to the dad. and you pay csa??

    I understand that in some cases men are nobs and dont want to know their children hence my own dad and dont pay a penny and thats when i think csa should really be used unless you see no other option like myself and my partner.
    but then women out there are out for the money to have nice things.

    Some people make me sooo mad i hate the world we live in where its all about money and not about the children.

  218. So_Frustrated on March 15th, 2012 11:16 pm

    I was recently taken to Magistrates court recently where the judge promptly took my driving license for two years (unless I pay up sooner… Damn blackmail)

    This is for arrears for my two boys now aged 17 and 13.

    What they choose to ignore at this point was two key facts.

    1. I am now a father of 5 (3 step kids aged, 19,17(disabled) and 13, and 2 kids with my wife aged 3 and 2 (we’ve been married for almost 7 years))

    2. As a self-employed man I needed my license to be able to work to support my family, taking it has made things incredibly difficult and in all fairness I’ve on the verge of claiming benefits.

    Today I received a letter from the court telling me I am unable to appeal, but if I make arrangements to pay I can ask the court to return my license (most likely subject to me keeping to those arranged payments) This process the letter explains carries a fee also.

    The system is a joke, Now I’m no saint there is a reason for these arrears.

    So a little back story.

    I split from my ex back in 2000 (not my fault, she slept with someone else)
    And ever since I’ve had 8 years of fighting for access with the courts ordering her to make access happen and her breaching those orders and where I tried to enforce them the judges would only give a slap on the wrist even though breach of a court order can carry a committal sentence…

    When access was working I would see the kids once a week and they would stay over every other weekend. During the peaks I would buy anything they needed she only had to ask.

    The last time I saw my boys was exactly 1 week before the birth of there brother whom they have never seen.

    At the court trying to enforce the order cafcass finally got involved, I thought this would be a good thing as I had a good relationship with my kids (I still talk to my eldest via msn even to this day) But no cafcass where a waste of time, The letters covering the interviews with the kids read word for word the same like it was what they were told to say, Cafcass failed to see the manipulation and it was decreed that they didn’t want to see me and my fight was over.

    My dealings with the csa has been around me avoiding paying them. Quite simply not because I didn’t want to support my children but because the money doesn’t actually go to the children.

    I would be happier to support my children in the best way possible by seeing them regular, and buying things when there with my and when they need them.

    The support of a child system should be simple if a relationship ends then each parent gets the child/children 6 months each, if one parent wants less time then they pay money accordingly to address the balance if (usually the mother) stops contact then they forgo the money too.

    Kids need there parents BOTH of them more than they need some stupid agency forcing the NRP and kids into poverty when the PWC doesn’t get anything.

    Even though my circumstances have changed many times I’ve not been reassessed for 6 years. The system stands that if your working and earning 130 per week they can’t touch your money due to protected earnings yet you can still accrue a debt on whatever assessment they work out, yet if you sign on they can take some of your money???

    The system is broken and heavy handed, I’ve been left with feelings of total dispair, if it was not for my kids now I would have nothing to live for.

    I’m now unable to properly support my current family and would love nothing more but to see my boys and support them in the best way I can, with love and a real father who wants to be there.

    The only good to come from all the time I’ve spent in court was I got my parental responsibility (meant alot to me but never really meant anything to my case)

  219. Ash on March 16th, 2012 8:20 pm

    Hi Kim,
    Kim if you do get legal aid thats a turn around from what iv come accross,
    I tried loads of solicitors and they all said no legal aid is available,
    Now as for buying stuff, if you pay the CSA the man does not have to buy the child anything as the money going to his ex is what its all for, i do believe if he gets joint custody then hes liable as the CSA amount is reduced.
    Kim iv said it time and time again, most and i do stress most woman i have come accross will despise the man she had kids with just to make his life so hard, plus use thier kids against him, im still getting it now after 6 years, my youngest does not even respond to me, my lad hes getting better, my eldest once said to me, dad i cant wait till you die so i can dance on your grave, so wheres all that come from, if i was a bad father and husband why was i with thier mother for 19 years,
    O and that Rebecca comment is total bollocks, she really hasnt done her homework, well she has to suit herself

  220. kim on March 17th, 2012 11:51 am

    My aunty is in the same boat as you ash, her partners children won’t speak to him because their mum has changed their numbers and everything.

    Csa have worked for them though, she made a claim and got someone to pretend to be him, she managed to get his year before p60 and sent it off. Little did she know he’s wage change a considerate amount to almost double. Csa sent a letter saying he had back pay ECT but he took her to court cause he had receipts for everything he had paid in the past 300 a month plus half of everything so back pay was qaushed. Now she receives £215 a month and that’s it.

    Is their any information anywhere about the PWC sending items to NRP when only having them for a few hours at a tome? Now we are paying csa we can’t afford to buy things like we have been doing and she said unless she sees some proof she won’t send items

  221. Ash on March 17th, 2012 2:24 pm

    Kim i dont think PWC have to send anything if they dont want to, its down to the NRP to supply if she or he feels to, like i said if he has his children twice a week or more stop over then CSA payments are reduced to her, again the CSA does not recognise or give a shit how the NRP manages or even survives, money again is the issue and not the feeling of the NRP or the children if it comes to it,
    The PWC always gets the benefits even down to child benefit and what ever else she can get her hands on,
    Now i know it sounds like im grilling the PWC but im not, its so unfair that they can use the children as a weapon to get to the NRP,
    We dont live in a democratic society where fair is fair,
    If the PWC allows the NRP to have joint custody, (and i say allow which is wrong) then benefits should also be taken into account ,
    As i see it since 1992 when the CSA was created nothing has changed, pay or face the concequencies,

  222. Ash on March 18th, 2012 7:22 am

    Happy mothers day to all you nasty woman who use your kids to get to thier fathers,

  223. ELZ on March 20th, 2012 10:46 am

    i understand wat your trying to say and all that but when you have children you cant just look out for number one which is yourself cos you also have children you need to look out for them to,
    Have you trried comming to an agreement with your ex so you dnt av to go thru the csa,
    if not the i believe you should support your kids as well as be there for them and see them regulary as they need both parents. i have 3 chidren my eldest has a different dad, and the way we do things is that he sees the regulary and he pays for the stuff she needs when she in his care and i take care if things when she with me he also helps towards her hobbies and a very exspensive clothing taste and school trips and all that, as for my younger 2 there dad gives me 150 quid a month to help towards them and when he has them i send the things they need to him he has to fund food.
    but guys you do need to support ya kids as they are yours to,
    if you do have to go down the csa route comply with them and they will help you to pay the minnium so you are still able to live to,
    but if you think that 5 quid a week is enuff to support ya kids a week is enuff you be very much mistaken, 20 quid a month dnt get ya far i dnt no.and please guys when you look after your children it isnt babysitting its taking care of your kids, hope you get this all sorted very soon with as little stress as possible

  224. Ash on March 20th, 2012 1:11 pm

    To the above,
    Good points but theres so many points you are missing,
    Im just gonna say a few abouyt mine,
    I gave up an £140000 house to my ex and for my kids, they deserve that much,
    After 6 years i still have no place to call my own because of being on a low income,
    Try sleeping in the back of a van at -6 deg and see how you feel,
    Iv come to an agreement now with the CSA and after all thats taken each month theres hardly anything left to support myself and i am entitled to have a life too,
    My kids can have and get what they want from me but a little something back like them calling me thier dad and respecting me and not just wanting to see me when money is mentioned is no joke as a father,
    And lets just say about supporting your kids, in most cases iv come accross the father is left with nothing to be able to support his kids let alone himself,
    Now not all men are selfish look after nu 1 bastards but there are a lot only because the system has made it that way,
    Do more homework on this debate then u you might just see it for how it really is, remember all cases are different but always leads to one thing , finance,

  225. Rebecca on March 20th, 2012 7:19 pm

    Ash you have commented on what I have said in the past and not agreed with what I’ve said. However, I will agree with you that you have clearly had a different experience to me probably hence why you have been quite nasty in your remarks. Understandably, if you have actually given your ex a house thats worth that much I dont think you should have to pay csa in my own opinion and if I was her I wouldn’t ask.
    My ex would never have left me with a house, in fact when he left all he could think about was the T.V. One of the only things we bought together. He sneakily said im going to get some of my stuff and when I wasn’t looking he took it. I didnt care, he could have had it, it was the way in which he did it that I found very sly. There was no guilt at all for all the hell he dragged us through.
    I have a little baby, and i do stay at home looking after him. I do have a degree so will be working in the next couple of years.
    The problem I face at the moment though is when people say well they get money from benefiits. Benefits dont give you enough to live on, considering the price of rent is so rediculous. I’ve looked at housing associations for now so that we can afford to live, however the only places for housing is mainly in the shameless type places and you get the odd few in nice areas so they can look fair on their surveys. So I had to choose, shameless type place OR living in a better area, but not being able to afford decent food, clothing etc etc.
    If I move to a shameless type area, my childrens father will call me a dosser. My children will be in the catchment area for the bad schools and will more likely mix with the naughty kids. Of course, I chose the location and now we are living off, as a family of three, £100 a week for food and clothing, thats including maintenance. I struggled to buy my son his first shoes and i found that very upsetting!
    Believe me I did not want to end up in this situation. I had money in my bank from before we moved in together for us to get married. I loved him and we had a family together.
    Dont’ judge your situation on all of us, a lot of women have ended up with some proper b*****ds.

  226. Rebecca on March 20th, 2012 7:25 pm

    PS over xmas I was spending 180 a month just on gas and electric. I couldn’t believe ti when they told me. the house loses its heat very quickly and having a small baby the house needs to be kept at a decent temp, the wash machine is on everyday. etc etc

  227. Ash on March 20th, 2012 9:06 pm

    Rebecca im not judgeing every woman on my experience, what im against is how the system works thats why i gave my ex the house for her to live and a good roof over my kids head, i dont give a f–k about what i gave them its what i am not entitled to as a father who cant even afford my own place to have my kids,
    And if you want to experience cold just think about how i felt trying to sleep in my van at minus tempatures, whether its a child or grown up i feel the cold to, not nice,
    All i state is most woman are evil vindictive bastards when it comes to the financial side of things, admit my ex has done a wonderful job raising my kids but if it wasnt for where they live and the home they lived in my kids wouldnt be as they are today, well educated, clothed, fed, warm, i cant say that about myself, and when a man is down and out because of the way the system penalises him how do you think hes gonna react, human nature to turn bitter, and that works both ways, i think about why i left and where it all went wrong and do you know why, lack of communication and again that works both ways, None of this should be about money but the feelings of all involved but its not, i dont give a damm if i had nothing as long as my kids are ok and they are, but getting back to me being nasty i speak as i find, criticism comes in all forms, personal or not its how you read it,
    Rebecca look at it this way to, look at what you have compared to children in 3rd world countries who are dieing and have nothing, we all moan about our own situation but when we supposed to live in a democratic society we expect fairness, but men just dont get it

  228. Ash on March 20th, 2012 9:08 pm

    Rebecca are you a nice good looking girl, i,ll take you on if your a fair woman, sorry about the looks bit but im fussy,

  229. Rebecca on March 20th, 2012 9:35 pm

    lol. I wouldn’t meet someone off here but thanks :) I completely agree with the comment on 3rd world countries. It is sad! Over here though our lifestyles are different and we are lucky we have been born into a powerful country.

    I find it unfair that you have been treated the way you have and because of the way some men are, they bring the good guys down with them too.

    Looking objectively, does anyone really have it fair? I wouldn’t say I have either.

  230. Ash on March 20th, 2012 9:56 pm

    Nope it seems not, im at the stage now where im starting to give up the fight in this country, we all get nothing those who choose and can work, i have friends on benefits and have two cars, a house, you name it they have it, ever since i understood politics nothing has changed to make everyones lives better, i acctually gave up voting when i was 19, but still have rights to opinions and what effects me, god is my governer, ,
    Getting back to being gtrated unfair Rebecca, only grudge i really have is my ex not encouraging our kids to see me and putting up barriers when i wanted to see them,

  231. Rebecca on March 20th, 2012 10:16 pm

    Its different if you are on income support you literally have no money to live on and believe me they will do anyhting to not give you a penny so that you cant even afford your bills!
    If you are on working tax credits your not loaded but you can afford a little bit more.
    I wont tell people I am on income support I find it very demeaning, but the thought of my little baby going to a nursery makes me want to physically be sick and why should my child suffer because of the dad.
    When kids get older they generally don’t want to see either parent, they just want to be out with their friends. So she’s probably feeling the effects of that too.
    If they are young she should be encouraging them because they need their dad too.

  232. Ash on March 20th, 2012 10:41 pm

    My 18 year old was old enough to understand all that was going on, i even remember her words at 14 she said i cant wait for you to die dad so i can dance on your grave, now saying that my kids have had everything they ever wanted but i think sometimes they get to much and dont appreciate the values in life,
    She only wanted to see me when she thought she was gonna get something,
    Thier mother never encouraged any of the 3 to contact me, speak , see me nothing and my relationship to this day is still not good, the finacial side of things wouldnt have made that better but having the income my ex would have found it easier, shes a good mum theres no doubt in that, but chaseing me for what i didnt have left was not gonna happen, she could have downgraded the house and got somewhere cheaper but no, the CSA was on my back straight away without any questions about how much i could pay and how often, when payments got behind all i got is threats of prison, threats of my driving licence being taken off me for two years, what good that would have done for me working i have no idea, and then there were threats of taking belongings which i never had but where i was staying they were gonna try and come and take my mums and family members stuff to pay my monthly support, again theres where the bitterness starts to develope,
    No child should suffer mentally, physically, finacially, but the system provokes the situation where the father has no more to give,

  233. Ash on March 20th, 2012 10:50 pm

    Excuse the spelling mistakes im dead beat , bed calling,

  234. Rebecca on March 20th, 2012 11:16 pm

    Sounds like you’ve had a rough ride. I think a lot of men on here don’t have it that bad. They are more complaining about how they can get away with not paying a penny. Thats why some women are getting nasty about it. Women on here are not complaining about men like you. They are complaining about the men who wont even leave the tv in the house.
    Just some serious advice, if you still have a mortgage on that house and your name is on it, make sure she is keeping up with payments!!!

  235. Ash on March 21st, 2012 5:49 pm

    I agree Rebecca , personal things aint important,
    I signed the house over took nothing, mortgage is all hers ,

  236. john on March 24th, 2012 2:47 pm

    csa sux i started my own business im earning about £30 a week at the moment as I have only just started! I have 5 children with my wife and one from my ex the csa said i have to pay £35 a week for a child i have not seen since her 1st birthday at the mothers choice not mine how fare is that i only had to pay £5 A WEEK out of my job seekers and I was better of then where is the justice !!

  237. Ash on March 27th, 2012 6:03 pm

    John the csa dont take that into account, and yes its so unfair , its like if your looking for a place to rent they look at what you earn not what the csa are taking,

  238. Claire on March 28th, 2012 9:11 am

    I would just like to say I am shocked at the comments regarding “how can I not pay CSA”. Ok then shall the PWC also not pay and let your children starve to death! Some NRP’s can only afford to contribute a small amount, this I understand, but at least they are trying to assist in the financial care of their children. Others, however (including my ex) who not only went to court to withdraw his contact order with his children whom he was seeing with no dispute from myself, then went on to try and run our daughter over! He is earning a substantial amount of money, driving a new range rover sport, living in a detached 4 bed house with an acre of land ( him, his wife and a baby) which he pays £2000 per month for point blank refuses to pay any money for his children whatsoever! I would be happy for any contribution. I am not a sponger, I work part time to support the children. My new partner supports our children and we help to support his child from a previous relationship. So please don’t tar all PWC with the same brush.

  239. Ash on March 28th, 2012 9:40 pm

    Claire yours is a isolated case and should be dealt with accordingly,
    No one is tarnishing all PWC with the same brush, read the comments carefully and you will understand some of the circumstances,

  240. dil on April 3rd, 2012 3:11 pm

    i have been offered some unpiad time off from work due to stress related to the divorce which I am going through. my payment to the PWC is £460/month when I am working. I am trying to find out if I still need to continue to pay this while I am on unpaid leave (I cant afford to pay if I dont get a salary but dont know if I am still required to pay even if I do not get paid myself). any advise would be appreciated. thank you.

  241. Ash on April 4th, 2012 2:34 pm

    Dil ring the csa straight away, they will access it, if you aint earning by law you pay nothing, if your earning reduced wages you pay accordingly, but you must ring them,

  242. allan on April 6th, 2012 11:52 am

    hi all….
    well after 14 and half years the CSA are now taking money from me. The fact that im paying for my daughter and have done since the day she was born doesnt bother me. What does bother me is the fact that my daughters mother has a second child, younger than my daughter, but yet she refuses to claim against his father. He has never paid a penny since day one………….yet she meets up with him now and then to have a nice cosey dinner with him.
    This new claim arose earlier this year after instead of putting my DAUGHTERS money into her account, I was giving it straight to my daughter. Along with payments, I would also give my daughter money for shopping trips with friends, tickets for concerts etc etc etc……
    Now i have my bill come through of £87 a week, as well as £ 600 and odd pounds arrears…WTF….
    My question is to you all, (although i probably no then answer), is there a way to raise a case against her other childs father????
    I have nothing against this guy, in fact hes a good guy, what i do have a frustration with, is the fact that since day one, I have provided for my daughter, yet he has never paid a penny, yet im the only father having a claim raised against…

    To me it seems as though my daughter has been nothing but a money token to her mother since the day she was born.
    When she was born, I was serving in the british army in germany. I came home on 2 weeks leave to witness her birth, and spent 2 fantastic weeks with her, only to arrive back at camp to find a CSA claim form waiting in my mail box for me, with a claim raised against me….

    Make up your own conclusions……

  243. gman on April 12th, 2012 6:48 pm

    WELL ash
    another day in court and yet again no further forward the system is a real joke that is 4 days i aint been able to make any money i have managed to raise the money £262 for a dna test that was paid today i just hope this gets put to bed i have put myself in debt in order to pay this not that they care im just another meal ticket 1 of many i handed all my accounts to the csa they now say i owe more money even tho i make half the wage i used to how the fuck does that work the bitch from the csa that goes to court need a good kicking she was making shit up as she went i should name her and shame her on here as i made sure i got her card (SLAG)
    still i wont pay untill they can trace the pwc and get a dna test from the child my solicitor rekkons if they cant find her the case might get through out of court and case will get closed is this true
    gman

  244. A.R.W. on April 13th, 2012 11:36 am

    To the lady who works for the CSA
    How do you try to be fair?? My ex is self employed earning over 50 k a year and only pays £20 a week for our son, that is what the CSA have decided he should pay-he was the one who decided he wanted to pay through the CSA. I have always worked 2 jobs so that I’m able to support our son, I have been with my current partner for 18 months, he has a son from a previous relationship that his ex has decided he is no longer allowed to see since he moved on and started a new relationship with me. She has now had another child to her current partner who works full time whilst she sits at home claiming income support etc and pretending to be a singe parent.She put a claim in with the CSA and now my partner who earns 18 k a year has to pay her £75 a week! how is that fair when you compare how much my ex earns and his CSA payments??? the CSA is an absolute waste of tax payers money, staffed by rude, ignorant, mini hitlers who all seem to be on some kind of power trip. I am not surprised people try their best to avoid paying them if our experiences are anything to go by.

  245. Ash on April 13th, 2012 7:53 pm

    gman i cant see the dust settling there mate, it may get thrown out of court if she cant be found, she can be found, murderers are found all the time, all i can say is the CSA has no sympathy what so ever for the NRP, its like everything in life threats threats threats, it would cost the goverment more to send you to prison for 6 months, then you lose your job then have to go on jobseekers, which again cost the tax payer, its like in my case own my own business with a partner who relies on me for work and getting him about coz he cant drive , i put my case to the CSA and they can compromise if they want to, you have to have full facts in front of you to get anywhere with your case, as with me i refused and refused, i know pay 130 a month for 3 children, i think thats more than fair, there are men who pay that for 1, Keep the thread going mate coz this just gets better and better,

  246. Ash on April 13th, 2012 8:01 pm

    A R W, i can see where you are coming from,but bitterness towards the CSA workforce isnt the answer, yes i admit they do sound like little hitlers, i told one once i couldnt pay what they were asking, all she said this is how we work it out, nothing iv not heard before,my words were i,ll do what a couple of my mates have done and thats commit suicide, i came close believe me because i had no one to turn to, her words were Mr R thats down to you what you do with your life, but this is what you owe, can you imagine what was going through my head at that time,
    Its all down to the goverment that have given the burden to another organisation,
    Avoiding paying the silly amounts of money they say you should pay is a demo need organising and put forward to the twat David Cameron, untill that happens nothing will change for the best, if people taking thier own lives havent sorted things what do you think will, life has no meaning compared to that shity stuff we call money,

  247. jack on April 13th, 2012 8:51 pm

    Susan on July 22nd, 2010 3:03 am , you made someone homeless, to make someone homeless you also make them destitute, can you really sleep sound at night knowing that little Tommy has got a new play toy but his daddy is wandering the streets cold, alone and in danger? and at what benefit can a father be in that situation, none at all, you yourself took it all away. he cant see his child, he cant have him over to stay, you took his home, he cant get a job because you took his home, daddy cant make any money to help provide because you took away the amenities for him to provide. what sense is that?

  248. gman on April 14th, 2012 4:55 pm

    ok mate i will keep you posted but 1 thing will never change no matter what is said the csa will always back the PWC
    p.s aileen crilley csa 07881510222
    she is the pusher of all majour cases

  249. Ash on April 15th, 2012 2:16 pm

    gman without more and more support from people like us and our followers the csa will back the PWC, again run by a woman, and i say that with no disrespect to all woman, i just wish the battle of the sexs where men are always to blame for split ups or even violent relationships would stop. look at any soap, and chat program, in everyday life men are branded the bastard and the cause of all problems, without getting onto religion just look back in history where in the garden of eden who took the bloody fruit from the forbidden tree, WOMAN, hence why man is suffering to this day,

  250. fuk the csa on April 17th, 2012 12:06 pm

    what a great site, i have moved houses and jobs over the past 7 yrs to avoid 40% of my wages being taken.

    i did go to court and agreed to pay £150 per month (what i fort was total) in fact this was just money i owed them. i gave them every bit of info they asked for that day (work, bank details, NI number) any way later on THAT DAY!!!!! CSA contacted my employer to find out my contract and employment status to start proceddings to claim ongoing maitainance (wankers) any way since then they have repeatedly taken more than i can afford so i will not speak or listen to them. every bit of information i gave them that day they have used to there advantage, contacing my employers, using my bank details to take money strraight out of my accoun, NI to chase every little thing i have ever done.

    i am sick to death of them, the women that rings from csa (michelle wood) is a total bitch and will not listen.

    fuk them and the scrounging mums that claim.

  251. Ash on April 18th, 2012 11:13 pm

    To the above, well said in your comments, frustrating it is, but the law will never change unless we get a list of people who are prepared to organise something and present it to number ten , twat David Cameron,

  252. pfft on April 19th, 2012 2:11 pm

    “hey gary, sorry to hear whats going on with you, i really hope something good happens for you, after all when it comes to all that you have to look after number one which is yr self”

    DEAR FLINT and i am quoting you above FLINT,
    All that you have to do is look after yourself? have you ever heard of contraception? or the fact that no contraception is 100% effective. Every time you have intercourse with another woman, pregnancy is a risk. Nearly everyone knows this, and nearly everyone will man up. If you don’t want a child, and you don’t want to be with the woman, then don’t sleep with her. simples!

  253. Ash on April 19th, 2012 6:16 pm

    To the above, what a pathetic statement, its not always the case, contraceptive, who plans to have children, mainly couples who have been together and want them, some woman trap guys and believe me play the game for an easier life so she can live off benefits and then screw the man,

  254. Jack on April 20th, 2012 9:46 am

    There’s too many money grabbing lying bitches on here. I have two kids by two different women. Both were long term relationships so the trust was there. At the start of the relationships i told both women that i didn’t want any children, they were both happy with that. Then they both decided to trap me by forgetting to take the pill etc and now they wanna fleece me for all i have even though i don’t get to see the kids!!! You can’t have it both ways women so shut the fuck up. Don’t expect a man to stay with you just cos you’ve had a child by them you insecure money grabbing, using kids as a weapon mutha fuckers!!!!!!
    And as for the CSA, you can all suck my cock, pathetic twats.

  255. ella on April 20th, 2012 10:16 am

    Hello, I have 4 children, my 2 middle kids see their dad every weekened and he gives me a set amount every month for them both, we sorted this out orselves and it works great. I am now married and have 2 more children with him, his ex girlfriend is seeking csa for her children who he does not see as she won’t let him, she’s an evil, manipulating human being, he has not seen these children grow up or had contact with them its all come about just lately as our 12 year old (whos my husbands) and her 12 year old (whos my husband) thats right they are the same age age she was my best friend since nursery and was cheating with him behind my back, well anyway these 2 young girls have found eachother and wanted to see each other, which we let happen as it is only curiousity, well now after all this time as her daughter as seen my daughter the claws have come out. She is married now and has been for a few years they are stable and have money it is now just for pure spite as my husband lost his job a couple of years ago and I only work part time and as I’ve said we have 4 kids who live with us, so money is tight. I am interested in your conversation so I am able to keep my husband out of trouble with the csa and the magistrates and this will not help keep my family together :(

  256. ella on April 20th, 2012 10:27 am

    speaking for myself when I decided to have children I knew what I had to do they were gonna be with me no matter what happened and I always knew there was a possibility that the father of my kids would not be there, I made the chioce to have children and like I said my ex partner and I share responsiblitiy as this is the grown up thing to do I would never do what she did and use my children as a weapon just to hurt the other person as it does not benefit the kids at all. I would hope that any mother is chooses to have children would think this way too but unfortunatly there are people out there who do this, it makes me sad for the kids

  257. Ash on April 20th, 2012 2:35 pm

    Ella nicely put,

  258. jo on April 25th, 2012 10:27 am

    personally csa dont give a damb how anybody feels. my husband was having his daughter every other weekend paying £30 to his ex weekly he was the one doing the 120 mile trip to collect his daughter and taking her back. that wasnt enough for the money grabbing ex. she stopped him seeing his daughter for weekends went to the csa £41 he pays but weekend access has stopped hes aloud to see hi daughter for a day when the ex says its convient. she has put £11 above a relationship between her daughter and my husband. this is when the csa and the mums make me angry. i am a mum of 4 there is no amount of money could be better then a father in my childrens life. my husband is not the dad of my children my ex is, so i no what its like to be a single mum ive been there….

  259. claire on April 26th, 2012 1:55 pm

    It makes me laugh how the men on here are mouthing off, im a nrp to my two older kids who decided living with dad was a better option as he doesnt discipline them at all. I have a court order which is continually ignored by my ex and when you try and get this court order upheld no one is interested. I hardly see my kids as the father lets them have sleepovers on my weekends and pathetically leaves decisions up to an 11yr old on whether they want to see me or not is this fair? I currently pay £5 a week for my older two as im on JSA and im loathe to find a job i dont see why i should pay for two kids that i dont get to see, also i am loathe to line my exs pockets when he is earning in excess of 25grand per year. And dont get me started on Crapcass they couldnt organise a raffle and they are prejudice against single women who have suffered abuse, in short they are arseholes who dont care about anything, other than ticking their little boxes.

    Non resident parents get treated like shit

  260. michael c on May 2nd, 2012 11:12 pm

    hi,my ex partner took me for everything i had while we were togeather and still now we are appart.i moved from england to northern ireland to be with her and her two kids,we ended up having a child of are own and i was supporting all 3kids her ,paying bills and keeping the house.only now she desided to finish are relationship one day on the spot out of nowhere! i am fighting her thru court to see my son who i adore and she has now stoped my contact with him and wants csa money.when she kicked me out i had to move back to england with only the clothes on my back and my car now i have no job,car,savings,money,family or place that feels like home.you realy do have to be careful who you choose to be with,unfortunatly i choose a woman who broke my heart,ruined my life and trys at every oppertunity to hurt me more

  261. sarah on May 4th, 2012 4:35 pm

    Hiya

    I’m seein both sides. I was a single parent to my 9yr old till she was 5. I worked full time an never ever asked for a penny from her dad I was proud to say I can do it myself. Her dad has never asked to see her or pay for her an that’s his fault. I’m now married with 2 new children 3 an 7months. An I’m still workin but part time an my husband works full time. His EX wife use to tke £50 off him each week. She threw in “if u marry HER ill take u too the cleaners” bare in mind they have been divorced 9years an I didn’t know him back then. We have been together 5 years. Now the csa have said he has never paid for his other child. The EX wife said she has never had any money. Now my husband is bein financially raped (sorry if offensive) for £103 a week. They say he owes £4000 in arrears? When asked for proof from the csa they said its confidential??? Were livin on the breadline but the csa don’t care they said “they are classed as a debt collection agency, an payin them is more important than payin ur rent”

  262. bridie on May 9th, 2012 12:43 pm

    I have been a single parent for over 20 yrs always worked and paid for my own kids. I did go to the csa for help for my 3 kids but he dodged it and now it seems pointless concidering my youngest is an adult now. All my ex has managed to do is make his children see that he is a looser and that I am the only one who has ever provided etc… I feel proud I did it on my own but a little financial help would have been nice. But i also see the other side too my new partner is having a terrible time with the csa. He doesnt mind paying for his kids but they are financially bankcrupting him. he doesnt even see them now and she got an order out on him which she needed no evidence to get so he can go know where near the house. she tells lies, breaks the law, and is mentally abusing his kids but everything is on her side. there is no justice for dads no rights nothing and I know this because we have ventured down every alley. this country should be a shamed of its self just because your female does not give you the right to abuse the system. there are no serious deterants for these women nothing, so why should they stop? Good honest fathers dont stand a chance in this system the law needs to be changed drastically and all circumstances of the fathers life should be taken into account when deciding how much he should pay. just because he doesnt have the kids does not mean he should not have a quality life. plus i think all income of the mother should be taken into account too when determining the amount to pay. It makes me a shamed to be a woman when I see whats happening

  263. Single male on May 10th, 2012 8:46 pm

    Hi everyone I’m just looking for some advice

    My ex got pregnant while I was with her 4 years
    Ago and soon after left me. Everything was a bit rough for a while but eventually she agree to accept £150 a month. This was fine for a while and we even got back together. But then she left me again and about a week later I lost my job. She instantly went to the csa but as I was out of work I didn’t have to pay anything. I eventually got a new job but was a massive pay cut and debts and bills got tough to pay and I had no money left to give to her. After about a year csa started taking from my wages (no letters recieved telling me) managed to get it brought down from £500 a month (over half my wage) to just £190. Things got better and I got a few pay rises but now I’m going to university in september to do better in life. But obviously money is goin to be very tight and I want to get a part time job to help.

    My question is does anyone know if CSA will deduct from my part time job which I will only earn £50 a week on and will they expect me to pay from my student loans? It’s no like I’m doing it just to get out of paying and I will be living of pot noodles and bread for 4 years.

    Ps I havnt seen the child in 3 years and have no idea where she lives or have any method of contact, not even facebook

  264. Single male on May 10th, 2012 8:48 pm

    Don’t know why I put single male as my name in above post it’s andy

  265. Nobody interesting on May 10th, 2012 9:52 pm

    My son is 17 next month and never received a penny in child maintenace, he’s never seen his dad, but I’m proud to say I’ve raised him on my own with the help of my fantastic parents, it makes me so sad and angry to see some mothers who want to take their children’s fathers to the cleaners, they should be happy and grateful that they are getting maintenance money, I would have been grateful for a tenner a week, I’m just glad that my son isnt bothered that he’s no dad and I hope when he has children he will be their for them unlike his dad!

  266. kirsty on May 17th, 2012 2:58 pm

    the only thing that yous can do to stop csa is move to another country, thats what my ex done &csa said he doesn’t have to pay, so i closed the case, i didn’t want csa in the first place, he thought if he paid through csa he could take my son when he wanted to, he missed so many week ends with my son and my son got so upset, so after i seen my son getting hurt week after week ( i told my ex he wasn’t seeing his son anymore, that didn’t bother him) so he left the country so that he didn’t have to pay another penny,

  267. Lucas on May 21st, 2012 3:34 pm

    OK….. All im going to say is if people don’t want to pay for whatever then all the best to you but you are going to die lonely and sad because all you going to do is either be single OR date loads of money grabbers which is not good.

    I am going to be a farther soon and I am working full time and my partner is guess how old we are 21! and we have not SPONGED any money off the government we have brought our own house not thanks to parents money or anything we did it by ourselves working hard every day and just living a normal life so if we can do it and that age why people who are MUCH older do it them self’s, Its just selfish and you are going to be depressed and moaning about how much the world should own you money. Anyway last bit of my rant is that YES it does take 2 people to make a baby whats the point of having sex with someone WITHOUT nothing to protect you both and when the deed is done run away from your problems, Honestly i bet you can not afford a car or a nice house or anything? whens the last time you went on holiday without worrying about money? ANYWAY…. have fun moaning to other people because you have no TRUE MATES! and please for god sake pick up a dictionary and spell correctly please!!!!!!! BTW me and my partner have never been more happier when we found out she was pregnant because it was planned!!!!!!!!!!! and our baby is going to grow up healthy and happy with hes/her new job wile your baby! is going to grow up exactly like you!

    Take care :-)

  268. gman on June 15th, 2012 7:03 pm

    well hello ash may i say i have missed this site as i have been on a little holiday (hmp durham) for non payment of child support yes that’s right jail as you know i was in the middle of my battle with csa……… so a DNA test was taken paid for b me at £255+ a £35 doctors fee the test was positive so at a court hearing this was said so the judge said i had to re-pay all back dated costs at a rate of £90p/w + £25 csa so i made my case clear that if the csa had not of put block after block on me getting a DNA i would not owe £4990 so i could only pay back at a rate of £10p/w+£5 csa as i only earn a small amount and i was asked if i walk out of court today would i avoid paying the full amount and i said if you mean the £115p/w then yes the judge said that will be all mr********gman please stay standing a few words were said then i get the shock of the week when they come back with 6 weeks take him away so a bit of advice don’t argue with the courts just avoid paying when you walk a free man but i would do it all over again if i had to i have been out 3 days and i will pay my csa but at my rate not theres as i simply cant afford it!!!!!!!!!!!
    gman

  269. Richard Cole on June 24th, 2012 9:05 am

    I have noticed most here are from England. Don’t feel bad men, we have the same problem here in the USA. I spent 106 days in prison and I still have not went to trial. I am in the arrears alledgedly 42000$. I was relieved from work because of my health. I have some disc problems in my back, plus severe hypertension. I am 57 years of age. My ex-wife commits adultery exposes my children to alcohol, which is documented and I am still being charged for to boys who were emancipated 6 and 5 years ago. Thats why the arrears are so high. Just for fairness here, why do you women think you are owed all of this money. When you were married, it was never an issue. Basicly they have now criminalized divorce. This is the most unconstitutional piece of legislation to ever be passed here. Our jails are now full to capacity at tax payers expense because of the so-called deadbeat dads. I have applied for disabilty, but the bullshit red-tape to go through is a nightmare in itself. This is plain old debtors prison. I have to undoughtedly agree with one commit here about Sharia law. Under that law a woman that commits adultry is issued the death penalty. Here if a woman decides she wants to abort her pregnancy, she doesn’t need here husbands approval, but if the husband decides he wants a vasectomy, he needs his wife’s approval? Its plain to see whats going on here. This is part of the communist manifesto. Destroy the family. We non-custodial parents are going to have to stick together on this problem. For the record the government has never addressed the 300 billion dollars that the 20 million illegal aliens cost the tax payers of this country every year, and then folks can’t understand why governments are going broke. I hate to say it, but they only way to deal with bullys is to gang up on them and beat them down.Enough is enough. My children have suffered long enough.

  270. jeremy grove on June 26th, 2012 9:17 am

    well, i can understrand some guys point of view , i paid my ex regular as clockwork, then she went to csa and said i hadnt been paying, the csa told me although i had proof of giving her the money i couldnt prove it was for the kids so they charged me again and there was nothing i could do about it ,apparently even though i had proof of giving her money she has to tell the csa its for the kids which she said it wasnt , she left me with massive debts as it was , she opened up numerous credit accounts without me knowing and i got lumbered with the lot ( thanks to our brilliant justice system) so now im left with a massive arrears on my csa which i have already paid once. the csa even told my ex to stop me having contact with my kids until it was paid off , it worked for the first 4 years , yes 4 years she wouldnt let me see my kids, even my parents wanted to see then and she wouldnt let them ,

    so to anyone who thinks that doing the right thing and supporting your kids , this does not help you one little bit , in fact the csa pick on the easy targets the ones who will do anything for there kids , there easier to pin down then fathers they have to chase

    at the end of the day its the woman who controls everythign , shame they scream equality when it suits them

  271. beth Ramsden on July 4th, 2012 6:18 am

    Sadly, i can see this from both sides.. my husband is on benefits due to ill health and doesn’t pay child support for his kids with his ex.. but.. we live 200 plus miles away.. every fortnight he drives to pick the kids up ( an 8 hour round trip) brings them to our house, then on sunday does the same in reverse to return them.. when the judge asked her to do half the driving she refused point blank… we also provide the kids clothes, shoes etc.. which they wear back to mums and ultimately ruin and we have to replace.. the csa therefore put him at nil payment because we do everything.. financially it has screwed us so we are having to move with my son 3 hours closer!!! on the other hand my ex refuses rto pay for our son my son is 13 years old.. we have just started to get £14 a fortnight, he owes £20,000 plus yet when the csa catch up with him he leaves his job, and goes on benefits, they take from his benefit dorectly for a few months then he goes back to work and it then take a good year to find him and then another 6 months(ish) to get an attachment of earnings and he then leaves his job before the first payment is due.. he has not seen my son since he was 3 months old when after we split i took my son every week to meet him in town gave him all the baby stuff he needed and money in case he needed anything else, i then found out by arriving early for collection one week, he was spending the money in a gambling machine and palming my son off to anyone who would watch him. we havent seen him since because he doesn’t give a shit even though my son has approached and asked him to get in contact.. so not all women with the kids are bitches… and not all nrp are pigs either…the system is the one that doesnt work and never will when courts favour the mother so much and do bugger all to prevent their behaviour.. as for those that want to pay but refuse the ex the money not the kids.. there is a syste with social services that the money can either be paid directly to them to provide for the kids or that the money is paid to the mother but she has to provide receipts for what she spends it on.. good luck all

  272. Chris Woodford on July 5th, 2012 6:58 pm

    I’ve been reading all the above comments, and have to say this country is a joke. If you don’t work and have kids you can screw who you want and the British tax payer picks up the bill and what’s worse the father who works and pays for you woman to lie on your back has to then lose even more of his wages in csa. There’s no complaints when everything goes the woman’s way but as soon as she gets bored its a different story, may be you should remember what it was like in the 40’s and then think how lucky you are, all this kind of crap wouldn’t happen back then. I work a huge amount of hours each week just to keep my house and car running, and for some skank who claims all the benefits under the sun is then allowed to claim my money is a joke. I can’t see my son because of the hours I work, my job has and always will be put above a child because without my job there is no child. And thats what has been forgotten, children should be seen not heard, women should be seen and not heard men should be seen and not heard, in fact everyone should remember there place within society, if you don’t work your entitled to nothing, if ou have kids but now way to support, they should be taken away from you, you can’t support kids on constant handouts, that’s what my son lives on, handouts and he will have no understanding of the big evil world because he is protected by the sum that run this country.

    All the women on here who claim poverty, get a grip, close ur legs and move on. I think personally this whole country needs a dam good shake up and perhaps rules that were in place many years ago should be brought back, that really will shit you up. Call me sexiest it dosent bother me, because this is also applies to men who don’t work and claim benefits, keep it in your trousers. We are to soft, my ex wife claimed she suffered mental abuse because she couldn’t hold down a job for more than 3months, she deserves nothing and I used to say. Mental abuse is the best case for her physical abuse would have meant me being locked up. Long and short we all need to remember our place and that includes all sexes when we do that things might be a lot different

  273. Kay on July 18th, 2012 12:24 am

    I never thought in a million years, I’ll be writing a comment on here.
    Well in my case, my ex has got 5 kids… from 3 different men… well I am one of them.
    Anyway, when we had our first child together, I made it clear that was it, she absolutely refused and this led to our separation. I couldn’t take living away from my child, and I wanted the family to be together… then we tried to work something together, we got back together and she then appealed to me that that she wanted this baby and that’s all and after the baby, she just want to send the rest of her life with me.

    To cut it short, we had the baby, and she ended the relationship 5 months after the baby was born.

    Meanwhile, I have never stayed away from kids, I have always buy them stuff, call the eldest every evening before she goes to bed, I visit them, I get them shoes, clothes, etc, etc…My eldest is about to start school, I have bought her uniform…that was what she wanted from the last time I visited. And of course, I got her a pair of trainers she asked for bec she hasnt got a pair…The last school shoes i got her has worn out, I got her another pair and I have got her another one ready for when she start school in September.

    But CSA wants me to pay an extra 144 every month? I work in supermarket?!

  274. Maffers on July 20th, 2012 12:58 pm

    Interesting read here.

    My main points / experience:

    * Girl gets pregnant after one month. Discussions, during early stages that I didn’t feel our relationship was ready for a kid. But she chose otherwise. It takes two to make, but the woman can make the ultimate decision on whether to keep or not and the guy has to pay.

    * We evevitabally split up and we go down the route of the CSA, as the break up was less than amicable.

    * I’ve been angered by the CSA who do appear to be crap for both the mothers and the fathers. But in the end, the law is the law and they try to do there job. They just do it in a very unprofessional and disorganised way.

    Here’s where the opinion part comes in.

    1. In a case where the mother looks after the child, why should the father pay if the woman decides to have the kid?
    2. When the woman re-marries / lives with a new guy, shoudln’t that signal the end of any support from the NRP
    3. Where does the amount the NRP end? I accept that I should pay something, but it does make life hard, so I work harder to gain pay rises/bonus’s etc, only to find that the PWC gets a slice of this. Should there not simply be a maximum payment?
    4. Someone above mentions it costs 150k to bring up a child – but does that mean the NRP should foot the bill for the whole amount? At a certain age, the PWC has the opportunity to at least work part time (and thats not taking into consideration other benefits they might be entitled to).
    5. This didn’t happen to me, but a friend was left with loans, mortgate etc after his partner cheated and eventually left him. Is it fair that he should be made bankrupt because of paying the CSA and isn’t this a good argument for expenditure being taken into account.

    To sum up – if you do have sex and have a baby the nrp should pay something. But how much should it be?

    Would it not be fairer to have some sort of system where the NRP is simply docked a minimum amount across the board (similar to the way we are taxed) – then there would be no need for the CSA then.

    There are some woman out there who play this system and there are some crap Dads out there too. There are also some NRP who have no choice but to take steps to avoid paying, as they need to survive too – surely there needs to be some consideration towards the NRP – as I think it is so easy to just say “but what about the child”.

    Anyway to sum up – and I’ve only seen it mentioned here once or twice – is there anyone challenging this process and if not, how could we go about it?

  275. bestinterests on July 27th, 2012 10:23 am

    Dear All,

    In response to the last post, yes I am actively fighting a corrupt and unfair system and have been for the last 8 years.

    I have had some success on my case and now pay £0.00 maintenance through the CSA and have contact with my children. Now the CSA are only involved on the peripheries I actually have a good relationship with my daughter and quite a civil relationship with my child’s mother.

    I would be very interested in meeting like minded individuals.

    I make a disclaimer here, none of the following is intended to constitute legal advice, merely personal opinion. No warranty or guarantee is implied and any reliance you the reader places on the following is entirely at your own risk.

    I make no apologies for this being a long post as this is a fairly complex topic.

    My opinion is that whichever parent the child is with should be paying for the child. It is just common sense, so if my daughter is staying with me I foot the bills, when she is staying with her mum, her mum foots the bills. It is that easy.

    I am angry at the CSA for depriving me of contact with my child for many years. I have been lied to by “government” officers, witnessed first hand unfair and unlawful tactics and been legally threatened several times. Indeed, the CSA wrote to my boss which undermined my good standing in the firm I was in. As a lawyer good standing is everything, what right to the CSA have to jeopardise my career? Legally – none, I have a right under the Human Rights Act to not have my property or employment interfered with by the state. This is an unqualified right.

    So I would be interested in teaming up with anybody who wishes to undertake LEGAL methods to continue the fight my grandfather started, a fight against fascism and unfair control. A fight against unlawfulness and corruption. A fight in the best interests of my children and the children of UK citizens; for the system as it is, is not in the best interests of children.

    I have some suggestions; I opine Judicial Review could be a friend. Magistrates often seem to err on the side of the state, this is no doubt why the CSA has it drafted into the Child Maintenance and Support Act cases are to be dealt with by magistrates. I personally would try and get any case out of magistrates court, it is a civil matter and magistrates are not family law judges. Many people think there are two pleas, guilty and not guilty but there are many (nine in total I think). One of them is pleading that the Court has no jurisdiction to hear the case, ie you want the matter “sent up” to be dealt with by jury. Another plea is the forum is not appropriate, so if you already have a family case going, perhaps for contact, the magistrates could be invited to transfer the case to a more appropriate forum like the family court. I have seen many cases of magistrates getting it wrong. Get legal advice, appeal and Judicial Review. Magistrates need to know if they are going to be unfair in their application of the law then they will be appealed and complained about. You can also complain to HMCTS and the Lord Chancellor’s office, if the magistrate has dealt with a case unfairly. Magistrates have a duty to act in a fair and impartial manner.

    The process of judicial review is complex so do your research if you are going to JR a decision. Basically, JR is a process of having a judge look at the decisions of executive government. The CSA are an executive branch of government. They execute the law, all of a sudden they seem to think they have a judicial function which is contrary to the doctrine of the separation of powers. Technically you could have every CSA decision you recieve JR’d. If everyone JR’d every decision of the CSA the system would likely cease to function.

    I am in the process of gathering information for legal means within the confines of the data protection act. (I keep an address book by my telephone). If there are government officers who are taking delight in taking houses of people and reaching beyond their powers then they need to be stopped. We have already had evidence on this forum of one such CSA employee. This needs to stop, this is not what responsible government is about. The CSA have contacted me at 20:00 in the evening, I managed to get a CSA officers personal contact details, I saw no reason why I should not telephone them at 20:00 in the evening at home to discuss my case. They did not like it very much.

    Providing actions do not constitute harassment, I would have no objection to naming and shaming CSA officers on the internet, surely giving out details like telephone numbers and addresses can only make contact easier and the system fairer. They build up information on parents; we can start gathering information on them. Not for blackmail purposes or anything like that you understand, that is not my intention. My intention is to ensure a fairer system that works in the best interests of the child.

    I have taken to billing the CSA every time they send me a form. I have a charging rate, if a client requested me to fill a form in I would probably charge them, so why should the CSA be any different.

    I have not been paid yet, but once they owe me a little bit I might just take them to small claims or serve them a statutory demand for payment. Why not? They would do far worse to me if they could.

    I did try dealing with them in a civil manner once over. I was polite when they telephoned and gave them the information they asked for. Now I NEVER SPEAK TO THE CSA ON THE TELEPHONE, if I do I give the following caution, “please be advised this call is been recorded for the purpose of crime prevention, you do not have to say anything but anything you do may be given in evidence against you” They have hung up on me the last 3 times. Get everything in writing, ask questions, send them long letters, complain to supervisors about officers, managers about supervisors and directors about managers. Complain to your MP when they get it wrong. They make a lot of work for me so I delight in making a lot of work for them.

    I give them the minimum of information required by the law. I have no assets in my name. This household has an income of nearly £100,000 but the CSA don’t get a penny. None of it is in my name, and I am not employed, not claiming state benefit and do not have an income. I don’t have to pay them a bean. That said my daughter wants for nothing and is happy.

    I would say I am winning, and have been for quite a while now. I would rather not have to deal with them at all though. Every so often I get a form through asking for info. Unfortunately my handwriting is very bad, but I do provide them with all the information I am legally required to do so. (And send them a bill for doing so).

    Whilst there are organisations who can help I have never used them, I would however be very interested in meeting like minded people who would like to see a system that acts in the BEST INTERESTS OF THE CHILD. I believe this is a charitable purpose, and could be set up as a charity even. If we all stand together, and use lobbying and legal tactics we can encourage the powers that be to invoke a fair system that acts within the best interests of our children and mediates problems to find solutions instead of making peoples lives a misery.

    1) Writing to our MP’s on a weekly basis
    2) Complaining and escalating complaints when the CSA get it wrong
    3) Building up information – information is key. I can discuss this more privately with people.
    4) Meetings and marches
    5) Getting the press involved, appoint a press officer to manage press releases. I have some good contacts in the press with a high level of integrity who are always willing to honestly document news.
    6) Judicially reviewing incorrect decisions, appealing incorrect decisions
    7) Reporting instances of harassment
    7) Always ensuring you are paying a fair amount

    There are many others.

    I am doing this for my children.

    A message to the CSA – how dare you interfere with my family life. What right to you have to act outside your powers and the law to bring misery to so many. I will fight you with my last breath. I will never surrender.

    If anyone is interested in joining me in fighting corruption and unlawfulness in a legal and appropriate manner through the power of solidarity and political lobbying I would love to hear from you, perhaps you might only have a few minutes a week, perhaps you have more time to donate…If we all stand together we can ensure a better and fairer system for our children.

    You can email me/us at bestinterests@(nospamplease)gmx.com. I promise to keep your details as confidential as I can, and subject to legal privilege where appropriate.

    You can of course email me anonymously though any illegality or abusive posts will be reported to the appropriate authority. I promise I do not work for the CSA, I have worked in government before but I strive to always act with the up most integrity and I treat confidentiality as sacrosanct.

    bestinterests@(nospamplease)gmx.com (Just remove the (nospamplease)bit !)

    If you want a system that acts in the best interests of children and takes into account the feelings and wishes of both parents to provide solutions, not problems, heart ache, grief; and financial ruin I would love to hear from you.

    I look forward to hearing from you.

    Kindest regards

    A concerned parent

  276. hayley orwin on September 24th, 2012 5:14 pm

    i wish my ex was half as decent as anyone on here as he onlythinks about himself and when the next bag of weed is coming his way he has 3 kids one of which he carnt see as he got taken to prison for being a pedophile because his babys mum is under or or was under age at the time the other two dont even know who he is because he has hardly ever seen them because he was in prison for most of there lives he was a complete prick to me when we were together and refuses to belive that his daughters his his mum got involved in most of our relationship and controls his life he left me in his room most of the time and went out to see his mates i paid for everything and he stole from me and he nickd my dog who i got for my 18th birthday i even got him a loan for 250 so he could pay for his kids birthday presents and get the train there but he still took me for a mug kicked me out when i was pregnant and refuses to get a dna test i had to get a loan out and get myself in debt to pay for my daughters clothes and cott and buggy and everything it isnt even about the money i gave him plenty of chances to come and see his daughter and he didnt even bother …………. its people like that that i hate ..

  277. cj on October 15th, 2012 2:32 pm

    well after reading a few of these comments i was shocked. my ex partner does not pay csa as we have a mutual agreement where he pays half towards all the kids needs. but threw csa its only parents that have no contact that pay 15% if u have ur child 1 night u take 1 seventh of and so on but some men (not all) wont support their child(ren) the choose to ask the mothers for clothes nappies and even food in some cases them men dont deserve to have their child. csa can be a bit steep to pay but can u really put a price on your child? i certainly cant

  278. Egbert on October 25th, 2012 6:27 pm

    Britain has a cheek to bitch about other countries human rights when men are being hounded by the state for basically having sex! The CSA is an abuse of human rights: a BRTISH abuse of human rights. I bet you don’t get this shit in North Korea or Iran! And then the children don’t get even get the money half the time. Its a stealth tax, the money is used to pay the CSA nazis wages and bonuses and MPs expenses. Its not about supporting the the child at all! And I bet the CSA is operating at a loss!

    But as the saying goes, where theres a will theres a way. They can be shaken off

  279. samantha mcdermott on January 30th, 2013 3:34 pm

    Hi, I am wondering if someone could help me my boyfriend has let his dad use his bank account for CSA now he has told the bank to counseled it but yet they keep taking money are they aloud to take money out of my boyfriends bank account if he is not the person who is ment to be paying it any advice would be great.

  280. Alice on January 30th, 2013 6:48 pm

    if your boyfriend has supplied his account details for CSA payments for his father’s case then they are entitled to take the money as per the schedule sent to the NRP (your boyfriend’s father)

    If the arrangement between your boyfriend and his father was that his father would give your boyfriend the money but has stopped doing so your boyfriend can cancel the Direct Debit (either by going into the bank or using online banking if he has it). The CSA will then contact the NRP (his dad) and it is up to him to make arrangements for his maintenance to be paid.

    You say your boyfriend ‘let his dad use his bank account’ so that indicates that his account details were not used without his knowledge – as such your boyfriend would not be able to claim back any payments from the CSA, if his Dad was supposed to pay him the money to cover the DD but has not done this your boyfriend will have to get the money from his dad.

  281. samantha mcdermott on January 30th, 2013 7:02 pm

    he did cancel the debit with the bank but they are still taking money

  282. Alice on January 30th, 2013 7:46 pm

    If your boyfriend has cancelled a direct debit with the bank and they continue to pay it then this is an issue with the bank – your boyfriends needs to speak to his bank asap

  283. samantha mcdermott on January 30th, 2013 7:56 pm

    ok thanks alot for your help

  284. Richard on February 3rd, 2013 3:37 am

    Well here’s my story. I’m 26 let me start by saying I don’t consider my self a “father” (nor will I ever) as I have no interest in the child which I will speak about or any other children( not that there are anymore thank goodness) as I do not care for children I am not maternal in the slightest. My ex- friend got pregnant unbeknown to the both of us apparently… Hmmm. I was working and received a txt message telling me she was pregnant, it was mine, she didn’t know she was pregnant and it was to late to get rid of it. Albeit I was obviously shocked nevertheless telling her clearly from the start I had no intention of raising a child and shed known my views on children for years (seemingly these are supposed to change when there are children involved no matter how old and ingrained you’re beliefs are). I am not ashamed to say I just plain don’t like them or being around them. Never have never will let’s make that clear. So she said she wouldn’t tell anyone it was mine ( i never asked her to but i did take the offer of dismissal) but she did. She let everyone know in fact resulting in the loss of a few friends and loved ones because in there view “I wouldn’t step up” ” i needed to grow a set” etc. This and other actions of hers prompted me to think she wasnt interested in what i felt which is fine with me but what isnt is the feeling that she was convinced “i would come around to the idea” or “circumstances would somehow change how i felt” So time went on Id decided to give her money from the start which I was not happy with doing or felt obligated to do. I’ve seen the child once I have no interest in repeating that exercise. So more time went on she like the majority of people would, wanted me to be involved and wanted me to get to know it. I did not agree. She grew angrier and just would not listen even though I told her as straight as I am telling you now and the onslaught of nasty text messages and phone calls ensued. Same expected phrases “grow a set” “you should feel guilty” bla bla bla. Some disgusting phrases i had never had thrown my way before. It just became tediously annoying and I stopped paying her the money, stopped replying to messages and phone calls. If she felt so strongly about it having two parents she should have put it up for adoption which i believe i did suggest at one point. I never had a say in wether I was to do anything for a child or have one I don’t feel obligated in the slightest where most people would because basically they are taught to feel a certain way and act and live a certain way but I believe we have one life and it is mine and mine alone I am proud to say nobody will ever tell me how I should feel, how I should live my life, how I should act and though I have been told I am cold, heartless, selfish etc i say I am not brainwashed and I am not one to be pushed and coerced into anything I do not want or like. But for all you who just totally disagree I should have my own life and live it as I see fit and those who believe I should be punished and tortured for “my unforgivably despicable behaviour” you will be glad to know she has sent me a text informing me I am and I quote “sooooo mature” and she “has no choice but to go through csa” and I will happily go to court :) no doubt being ordered to pay child support and I will, grudgingly of course! But happy in the knowledge that she will have taken it to those lengths and still not have gotten what she wants. In essence. Me to be a “parent”

    I will finish by saying i find the notion of ANYONE having deep seated expectedness for another to willingly contradict their own beliefs toward an institution and do something that they truly do not want to do because it is an excepted social convention laughable.

  285. Sally on February 3rd, 2013 12:34 pm

    Hi Richard

    I don’t think you should be punished or tortured…. You ‘should’ be entitled to make your own decisions in life but I’m afraid the bad news is tat your life IS NEVER your own when the CSA get involved….

    There have been many debates on here about what is right and wrong and you have been 100% straight about your position… You didn’t want children, the person you slept with knew this, so the choice she had was to accept this and agree to bring the child up without any financial contribution from you or to abort the child and wait for Mr Right to come along (I know I’m going to get shot for that comment, especially as,I’m a female) …. She chose to sleep with you knowing your feelings ….

    However , the reality is, you are now a cash cow for the person you slept with and for the CSA… I wish you well…. Please keep us update on your progress…

  286. John on May 22nd, 2013 4:45 pm

    Here’s my story, my ex fell pregnant unexpectedly, our relationship to me was dull and crap and we spilt a few times. Just before I was going to call it a day for good I was dropped with the bomb shell that she was pregnant, even though she was on the pill. Obviously these things can happen, but I know what I think, she knew we were coming to an end and trapped me. Just one of the many spiteful and selfish things this girl would do.
    To give you some sort of background information into this situation so people can grasp the sort of bloke I am and the waste of space she is. Even though I was unhappy with the situation I told myself I had to man up and deal with the responsibility. I decided to give my ex another go thinking that as she was going to be the mother of my child I could make an effort and do things right, be a loving dad and loving partner and be a family. So I set about finding somewhere to live. Even though I was 30 I was still at home with my parents due to the fact my family is close knit and also due to the fact of not being able to afford a mortgage of my own. I didn’t want to waste savings/wages on rent, but here I was ready to provide and support and I found myself doing just that (renting) because of the situation I found myself in. Throughout all this my ex had no job, no source of income and was dependent on her mum and step dad. I was about to take over.
    I found a flat via a housing association based on my earnings. It was a complete shell and I spent in the region of £7000 making the 1 bed flat look very smart and modern. After skinting myself out, one Saturday while I was doing overtime my gf decided to take my debit card and spent over £300 on surplus things for the flat without my permission. All this in the company of her mother, who should’ve known better. I’m telling you this so you can get a feel for the sort of bird she was. A row ensued, to which she said for the first and definitely not the last time “you will never see your daughter once she’s born”. So I threw her out, here I was my head barely above water trying to set up a home and I’ve just been threatened with not being able to see my unborn child. Disgraceful. To cut the story short on me and her we never got back together. She made me miss the birth and tried to deliberately to make me miss the registering of birth. Oh and just for good measure she refuses outright to have my deceased sisters name as my daughters middle name. The girl is a complete bitch.
    Then she finds out I have a girlfriend. At this point she tells me again I will never see my daughter again and I have 2 choices, either my daughter and her, or my partner. Once she knew I was prepared to choose she cut out all access and refused to let me see my daughter. I was paying her an agreed amount of child maintenance but low and behold I then had the csa on my back demanding to know all my earnings, which I had to base on my lag tax return (which included nearly 8months of overtime pay). So now not only am I paying for a flat that was supposed to be for my daughter, I am now paying a very inflated rate of child support and I was also paying solicitors fee of £200 an hour. All I wanted to do was to see my daughter. After ignoring all of my letters she texts me one day demanding more money and saying she’s never stopped me which infuriated me, but was actually the start of getting somewhere as at this point she agreed to go to mediation (another free service for her but in the region of £90-£120 per session for me). I was earning £2000 a month, minus £700 rent, £250 travel, £340 csa, problably £250 solicitor fees a month, £200 car, £100 car insurance, £90 council tax. Leaving me with fuck all for the mont!!!! Oh and it took me over 4 months to get to see my daughter!. Fast forward a month and things have gone bad again. Even though the csa have calculated the amount I pay her she is now trying to insist on more money saying she can’t survive, although she’s told me (not asked) that she’s taking my daughter to Spain for 2 weeks. I’m not happy about it and now her phone has been off for a week. Solicitor said she can’t legally take her but a court order would probably still allow her to and it would be expensive. One of the conditions in the mediation was that my ex has to be in attendance when i see ny daughter because she said my daughter wouldn’t know who I was (yeah I wonder fucking why) so the last time I see her I said this has to stop, I wnt her on my own. She said no this and that she wantes to leave with my daughter to which i said she’s welcome to go but my daughter will be staying as i only get to see her for 4 hours. Cue her calling the police and trying to get me nicked for not allowing her to leave. As it happens the old bill were more on my ade and said she should leave my daughter with me while she leaves for a. Hour if she wasng happy. She agreed to this and actually picked her up saying this is the way forward. But now she’s gone missing and changed her number. This week I will be stopping her money. Women out there can say your only robbing your daughter but I am not, so far I’ve spent £2000 just to get the right to see her, and just because her mother is bitter and jealous she has made it hard at every possible moment for me and my family. I missed my daughters birth, first Xmas and most of the first 6 months of her life. I’ve now had enough and I’m going to make it as hard as possible for her. I feel for the men on here who have honestly tried their hardest to see their children but constantly come up against a damaged bitter ex who is shameless in using her kid(s) as a weapon for emotional blackmail and financial gain. The only advice I have is for any dads to try and get registered as self employed. From this financial year I am lucky. I have a close friend who owns a limited company and who has seen my plight first hand. He is paying me shit money (£150) and giving me payslips as proof, then the rest of my wages he is giving to me cash. All the amounts paid into his account have already been taxed so he doesn’t have to explain anything to the tax man. I’m about to notify the csa and plan to get the amount I pay down from £85 (not seeing my daughter remember) to around
    £10. My reply to anyone who frowns on this is simple, if that piece of shit cunt can’t afford to look after them give her to me – she can have anything she ever wants!!! Oh and because my wages are supposedly so shit I’ll get my solicitor fees paid for aswell. If your not self employed I do really feel for you (if you’ve tried to do the right thing) because they have you by the bollocks!!! Bitter jealous money grabbing ex’s really need being locked up and gassed.

  287. Cat Nash on June 20th, 2013 1:48 pm

    Wow! I have read a few comments on here today it seems like a good place to vent and get some much needed advice. My husband had a ex from hell the had a little boy together when I first met him the had been split up for over a year she had been unfaithful to him and ended the relationship. My husband had a fantastic relationship with his son until we got together I had never met her and had only been with my husband for 1 month when she called me( god knows how she got my number) saying she’s going on holiday for a week abroad with the guy she had the affair with would I watch the little boy? After much discussion with my now husband I agreed to take care of him while he was at work I am a registered child minder so it is my job. Well things where then on and off between me and him for over a year and at this point we had split up he managed to get her pregnant AGAIN! ( will this man ever learn I hear you say obviously not!) well he stole her straight he does not want the child and told her to get rid of it this was after claiming she was on the pill ( think of the most vindictive person you have ever met and times it by 10 and you still will not be close) she said she will never ask him for money and not expect him to have any thing to do with it. Well here we are 5 years later after the start and we have had the csa on our case for years to be honest I’m sick of it I understand he has to pay for his son but why should he pay for the other one that he never wanted y do men not get a say in these things women should not have all the control. I myself make payments of £55 a week out of my money as he is self employed and his money is not reliable they are now asking for more? No longer see the little boy as his mum ( if u can call her that coz she’s dragging him up) decided 2 years ago she did not want me around him she’s twisted and jealous I call her the most expensive whore my husband ever used because that’s all she is I wouldn’t mind so much if the money went on the children but is does not she’s a known drinker and drug user and has social services involved because she’s that much of a good parent me and my husband did every thing to make his little boy welcome on our home and it backfired in may ways so how does being self employed help with the cas because its not helping us at the moment and to be honest I’ve had enough I’ve told my husband today that if they try and take more money then he has to give up work and look after our baby that’s due in 3 months and I will have to go back to full time employment because what they are asking for is unreasonable especially as he never wanted one of them in the first place and made it very clear I don’t think I can cope with much more at this rate the csa are just going to break up a happy family unit for a whore my husband stupidly slept with and believed her that she wouldn’t screw him over :-(

  288. darren on July 24th, 2013 2:02 am

    Nrp finished payments case closed left with nothing no house no car all taken all apart form my pride in the fact that in my very last phone call from the collections department i upset the vermin to the point he had his line manager phone the police and send them round to belittle me but this gave me some comfort that after all these years i got to you,One day we will stand tall together and stop this dictatorship where a lady can take all and leave us poor and deprived in my next life i want boobs.

  289. T-boner on July 24th, 2013 9:50 pm

    Not being funny, but if any of the desperate single mums need a bit of help with money, then I dont mind helping out . I need 7 good lookers where I can stay once a week for a proper boning session, no ties except ill help with the bills. Ill pay for my share in each place and a bit on top and there will always be food in the house. It will work perfectly.

    Any desperado’s up for it?

  290. Andy on August 12th, 2013 3:41 pm

    CSA = Sponsored Singlemotherhood Association.

    90% of PWC = Lazy, bone idle women who think they are owed a living by society. They want a baby and see “benefits” and the “CSA” as they easy lazy way out of working hard like my Mother and Father had to. They find a man, use him as a sperm doner, and then break up an innocent childs home to fund their lazy lifestyle, and even have the cheek to try and take the moral highground. Ive seen it hundreds of times, thousands, our society pays them to break up family’s, and so that’s exactly what they do. After breaking up a childs life, they suddenly know every trick in the book, and even with all the free money they sponge out of us, child allowance, tax credits etc, they then stop us seeing our kids as well (beceause nothing is ever enough for these scummers, ever).

    And all you so-called middle class women who do this, yes thats you too, “scummers”. You are on the bottom rung of society, and deserve all the bad mouthing that society gives you. Filthy, disgusting, lying, scum. You children should be taken away from you, given to their fathers, and you should be shot. You are a disgrace.

  291. skippydo on December 18th, 2013 3:05 pm

    Please may spread the word and please let’s try setup a REAL COLLECTIVE RESPONSE to this mess.

    A protest March for fairness! on FEB 1ST 2014 @ 10 DOWNING ST and DWP Head office.

    Who’s in?

  292. Antonio on July 10th, 2014 4:40 pm

    The CSA is a debt collection company and it works like a bank… they make money.
    They do not really care if the child grows without suffering. In my case my ex partner spend the money going out and drinking. I still have to pay, they do not check how the money is spend.
    The system try to make yourself to feel bad if you do not pay so you have no choice more than surrender and pay.
    CSA is like a mafia you cannot even skipped an address change cuase you could fall paying £1000 penalty.
    Even paying my children are suffering…

  293. Louise Robertson on August 10th, 2014 12:28 pm

    I think it’s terrible any father would try to avoid paying for their child, I consider myself to be very lucky my ex partner pays 180 per month towards our daughter,he earns over 26k per year I do not ask him for anymore than 180 as he takes her every weekend she has a lovely room at his house everything she needs clothes shoes toys ect, he also takes her extra nights if I need him to , he’s a great father his gf is brilliant with my daughter , over all I’m very happy, maybe it would be easier if parents could come to a mutual agreement which is fair for the child, the way I see it many but not all Pwc see fathers as cash cows, nrp know this then don’t want to pay this is were the problems start for many people , every case is different with right and wrong on both sides , it seems the only one that suffers is the child ,

  294. maria on August 11th, 2014 8:23 pm

    18 years ago we were being robbed by the CSA for my husbands then 7 year old child. Up to them getting involved we had always paid maintenance, and lots of other things. She went short of nothing. CSA got involved and basically the amount was a second mortgage. Her mother and husband were both living off the state which meant we had to foot the bill for whatever the system was paying them. We would never have been able to make a good living if we stayed in the UK even though we both worked hard, and had two children to provide for.

    We took off abroad and haven’t paid since other than sending the child money over the years.

    My question is, if we wanted to move back to UK can we still be billed for arrears?

  295. rach on August 12th, 2014 8:12 pm

    did you inform them that you were moving abroad? did you keep proof that you informed ie a reply from them acknowledging receipt of your letter? if not then im afraid they could still have been billing your maintenance and will hit you with a huge arrears bill if they find out you have returned

  296. blob on November 19th, 2014 8:55 am

    You need to be on Industrial injuries benefit. If you are it messes up the calculation and you don’t have to pay anything no matter how much you earn. try it out on the CSA calculator. I suspect they will try to ignore it and do the calculation wrong. In which case I will just make payment with no admission as to liability and then I will put it in front of a judge as a civil claim for a debt and claim the court fee and my costs as a litigant in person based on their unreasonable conduct. I’m sure they will soon get the message and stop chasing me as I will do it to them every month until they stop because they are losing money. It costs me a lot of money because of my disability so I’m prepared to fight for my rights which the government appear to have accepted as legitimate reason not to have to pat CSA

    Ex and her family have been harassing me and it’s all documented and evidenced. So if she tried to go after me in any way financially I will suggest we agree a drop hands approach to any financial claim. If they don’t I will remove it from girls court and instruct a solicitor to ring a civil claim for harassment. They will wish they hadn’t as I am confident I can get in excess of £25,000. Then when I have a judgment, if they don’t pay I will make them bankrupt. I don’t think they stand a chance outside of girls court and family proceedings, You need to find a way to get some type of financial claim as a separate civil matter and not girls court family proceedings.

    Ex could also still face private prosecution because she committed a criminal offence by making a false allegation to gain an advantage in custody, serves her right that she is frightened when she realised I had recorded the whole thing. Only person she got into trouble was herself as police weren’t interested when they knew it was all recorded

  297. andy on November 25th, 2014 3:27 am

    the fuckers have finally caught up with me after 15 yrs,,,, originally they wanted £96 a week which was a total joke so i went self employed,,, their assessment should be around the £ 74 k mark according to how much they wanted originally,, rediculous amount,,, funnily, since being self employed ive earnt significantly more than when i was on the books,,, and the letter stated i owe measly 22k,, wtf,, who plucks these figures out of the air? anyhow… im gonna reply to the hand delivered letter tomorrow, simply stating,, im not in work, and they can go spit,, i was blocked by a court from seeing my son when the bitch ex fucked off when he was 3 months old, i havent seen or heard from them since… does it bother me,, nope,, i havent got a single paternal bone in my body. im nearly 50 and loving my life without kids. come next april, i will do my tax return on £5190 and smile .

  298. nicholas clark on December 13th, 2014 3:26 pm

    you lot make me sick you slag dads of for not paying but you dont know the facts my x is on drugs she has sold everything i have bought for my son her new partner has sexually asulted all of her kids and theres nothing i can do the police can prove it they wont admit it even though the evidence is ther so why should i give them money just to buy more drugs and then they become more violent towards the kids

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