Hi all,
I've been reading the posts on this website for a few days now & it has helped me no end - it has provided me with some invaluable information & also given me a sense of comoradery.
Like everybody else on these forums I have been to hell & back with the good old CSA (Cnuts,S##ts & Arseholes!!)& I am still living the nightmare!!
I am a NRP to two boys by two different mothers - I know how bad that sounds but I was a father at the age of 19 & my relationship lasted 2 years after he was born (she buggered off with my best friend) & I became a father again at the age of 23,went on to marry the boy's mother & divorced the violent,alcoholic Bitch last year after a series of beatings culminating in a full set of broken ribs!!It's such a pity that the circumstances surrounding the break-up of our relationships doesn't preclude us from being shafted senseless by 'Good Old CSA'.
Anyway,enough of that . . . . . .
The main reason for my post (which will be one of my many horror stories!!) is that going back a couple of years I made a private agreement with the mother of my first boy,to pay £250 per month (the actual amount assessed on CSA1 was for £480 per month) because I absolutely could not afford the current payments as I,like many of you,was getting deeper & deeper into debt just trying to live day to day.This went really well for 12 months until I received a demand for arrears totalling £5760!!
I phoned the thieving bastards & tried to explain that this could not possibly be the case as I had been paying £250 per month (as agreed) by direct debit directly into her account.To my surprise (no,really) they were not aware that an agreement was in place & that I would have to prove otherwise.I then provided evidence of the payments via my bank statements & was then sent a revised total for arrears of £2760.Now,I realise that that I was stupid enough to trust the scheming bitch without havig an agreement officially drafted by a solicitor but my question is quite simply this: How the bloody hell did I obtain my Ex's bank details in the first place & if she wasn't in agreement with the arrangement,why did she allow it to continue for 12 months? Does this not constitute an agreement? When you work for an employer without a written contract,the duties carried out & the regularity of those duties become 'Customer Practice' & an employer could not penalise you in retrospect for something that they feel you should have done if it falls outside something that has regularly occured.
I am scared to death to initiate a private agreement in future for fear that the scum will backdate any payments that they deem short of their calculations - what gives them carte blanche to move the goalposts as & when they feel like it?Has this happened to anybody else? I would love to hear your story . . . . . . . .
As aforementioned,I have many more horror stories to tell so please stay tuned . . . . .