CSA advice forum

CSA advice forum » Child Support Agency

1. haleyt76
   Member
   
   

   Hello Everyone. I am new to this site and to C.S.A. I have tried desperately to avoid going to C.S.A. but my ex pays me maybe £40-£50 a YEAR! I tried to make arrangements that were amicable between us and only asked him for £25 per week. Just to pay for basics or any trips they may have. My boys are 10 and 5. Expensive ages and I know it will only get worse. When I ask him to look after the kids he says he is working. When I ask him for money for that week he says he hasn't had any work. He does have the boys every other weekend so I have no complaints there. The problem is he pays nothing and I have to move out of my house so the boys can spend the weekend with their dad because he lives with his mummy and daddy (because he refused to pay his bills and lost his flat). I know he is taking advantage of the situation but surely this isn't right or normal for that matter. I have decided that in the New Year I will give him 6 months to find his own place or he will just have to pick the kids up in the morning and bring them back at night time and also I have decided to go to C.S.A. Even if he doesn't work he should be getting JSA right??? My fiance has 2 girls and pays over £400 per month for them and can't even see them because he wont talk to their mother. I see my ex husband doing what he is doing and see my fiance going through what he is going through and it seems so UNFAIR!! Am I right to finally stand up and sort this out? Will I be able to get anything from him if he is self employed?????

   Posted 5 months ago #

2. andy123
   Member
   
   

   Sounds just like my ex... Good on you trying to sort outside CSA but if no joy then go to the CSA as it sounds like you have nothing to loose in anycase. We pay our taxes to run the CSA for when really needed, i.e. when absent parents refuse to pay, like your ex. They will ask him to provide details of his income etc, if self employed he may well be able to make the figures in his favour, but I don't think you have anything to loose.

   Posted 5 months ago #

3. Mark148
   Member
   
   

   He has shown himself to be unable to 'man up' to his financial responsibilities as a father. The longer you leave the more your children will be deprived of additional funding to support their welfare. My advice would be to approach the CSA NOW and secure a financial income to support your children.

   You now live separate lives and by letting him use your place for contact gives out misinterpreted signals to all those important to you. By denying him the use of your place will force him into sorting a place out NOW for himself and overnight contact with your children rather than delaying the inevitable in 6 months time.

   You can obviously maintain a friendly relationship with your Ex for the best interests of your children but don't let him walk all over you as this will set a precedent which will more than likely be abused.

   I hope all works out well for you and I wish you, your children and new partner the best.

   Posted 5 months ago #

4. Rita
   Member
   
   

   Haley, I'd agree with Mark, your ex has had enough time to pull himself together. CSA will only act from the day you contact them, so start now, it will still take 12 weeks and possibly brings no results, but at least you will have done your best for your children.

   Don't let him use your house, it sends the wrong signal to him and to the children, he needs to stand on his own two feet. It is his duty to make your life easier, not for you to support him.

   Best of luck with your new life, but tread carefully. Your fiance has a lifelong responsibility elsewhere and you might want to meet the ex and get to know his children before tying the knot - just to get a better picture of what you'd be getting yourself into.

   Posted 5 months ago #

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