CSA advice forum

CSA advice forum » NRP Discussion

1. endurance
   Member
   
   

   2 years ago I have met on one of the internet dating site 1 girl which visited me for 2 days, after what we had 1 hour chat. 3 weeks later after her visit, she rang me and told me she's pregnant. last year in october I was contacted by CSA and since then I pay £50 a week. I also done the DNA test and indeed the child is mine. I have never seen that child, nor her since she visited me. I have no idea if she still lives in Uk or not. All that she was doing was to send me some pictures with the child on the e-mail. I never responded back to her e-mails full of pictures and no words. I feel sick to speak with such a person who used a child only for her benefit (as we are both from an eastern european country where £50 a week is an average wage of 40hours/week). It is possible that she went to live there and in this case I should not pay anymore. All I want is that I pay her as less as possible because I feel used, I know the child is not quilty and should receive some money. Can you please tell me what should I do to pay as less as possible? Should I speak to my employer to declare very little money in my payslips? Or should I go self-employed? Or should I leave Uk for a while? Thank you very much

   Posted 9 months ago #

2. Mark148
   Member
   
   

   I would question the fact of why should two non UK citizens come under the jurisdiction of the CSA. If it works out that you do then I would leave the country and return to your homeland where hopefully you wont be screwed financially for the next 16 or 17 years by a Gestapo style system

   Posted 5 months ago #

3. Rita
   Member
   
   

   Welcome to the civilised world!! Here fathers have unlimited responsibility for feeding their wives and children – consider this a great learning opportunity and pay up.
   What she did was clearly wrong and cruel towards you and your child, but she did not do it alone – you willingly co-operated, so you should be responsible for the consequences for the rest of your life just as she is.
   It is very kind of her to send pictures of the child, she clearly wants to keep in touch – return the favour and send pictures of you, so that she can put them up in the baby’s room. Send letters or emails to let her know where you are and what you are doing, so your child has a chance to know. Your child will want to meet you eventually, and it is very important that you can honestly say you did your best to look after him/her and the mother. Remember, you are the second most important person in that child’s life forever, even if you do not see him/her for now.
   What you pay should not depend on her minimum needs, but on your ability to pay – that is how you improve your child’s chances of survival. Trust me, what CSA requires goes nowhere near to covering the cost of providing for a child. And why should she not receive full week’s wages? She works 24 hours a day looking after your child.
   Instead of looking to pay minimum, you should be looking to do your best to support your family, however unplanned it was. You chose to have a child with this lady, stop feeling sorry for yourself and make the best of it.

   Posted 5 months ago #

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