Hi
I have only just joined but I have read a lot of posts in the past. Let me start from the beginning.
My daughter who is now 7 lives with her Mum, whom I see every fortnight but like most people on here I have difficulty seeing my children. I was with my daughters Mum barely a week and she got pregnant. I tried to support her through the pregnancy but things became strained. I was advised by both her Mum and her Mums best friend my daughter wasn't mine. I had a DNA test through the CSA and my daughter was proved to be mine. Cutting a long story short here.
I was paying CSA and then out of the blue (roughly 4 years ago), I got a new assesment through telling me to pay CSA for my daughter with her new fellas surname ( they are now married). Out of principle and rather foolishly I refused to pay the new assesment arguing that my daughter had, had her name changed illegally and my daughter was not known by the name they had assessed me for. They disagreed and said it was legal, even though I had PR. I successfully challenged in a Family Court that my daughters name was illegally changed and she had to change it back. The trouble I had in the meantime they put an attachment of earnings on my wages for £400 per month. Saying I was in arrears as I had refused to pay, which I did until they put my daughters legal name on the assessment.
Now this is where things get complex. In the meantime I had my son to my then long term partner. I was earning £1200 a month take home, they were taking £400 off me for my daughter and supposedly reduced 15% off the intitial assessment. This never brought my CSA down as they were still taking everything the law would allow them. Even though I was the only earner and £800 barely covered my bills. This obviously amongst other things influenced and strained our relationship and we split up when my son was under a year old. Without going into detail about how strained things are seeing him. eg.. my weekend with him last weekend, phone the night before I see him and she tells me she is off on holiday in the morning with my son. Which is good in a way as my son gets to go on holiday.
I used to offer my ex money but she refused and tell me to shove my money where the sun don't shine, this was a while back as my son is now 5. I have given her cash in hand (silly I know) as well as paying for his football and clothes etc... but she went to the CSA. They have assessed me as owing £8k even though I wasn't working for the last year and a bit.They said I had to inform them, my argument is although somewhat flawed is they take money out of my wages direct, so they would know if I was working or not. I can prove I was unemployed etc... I now live down south and travel to see my kids every other weekend up north. I have had to give a job up in the past as they left me with no money. Hence where some of the arrears have come from as they assessed me as paying CSA on working 96 hours per week. They based there calculation on one weeks work when there own guidelines are 6 weeks.
As I said it is complex, it gets worse they started taking money out of my wages when I started my new job ( again adding to my argument you know when I am working). They currently take over £500 per month and as I earn commission whatever that comes too as well (varies every month). My daughters CSA was cancelled a long time ago as we come to our own agreement. I bought clothes etc.. for her and gave her Mum a few quid, not much just what I could afford. The trouble I have is two things they have assessed me for my paying my son again with a name he is not known by. My now ex has changed his name to her name, again something which I have successfully challenged in court. Is it legal for the CSA to send you assessments and take payments for a child known by an illegal surname? By the way I am not disputing my son is mine as he is, I only have to look in the mirror if you get my drift. Also we have now agreed to go maintenance direct and the CSA are still taking £500+ a month out of my wage, an amount I cannot afford living down south and travelling back every fortnight. This has resulted in me not being able to afford to pay for my daughter as my rent alone is £650 per month for a flat ( one of the cheapest in the area). This has resulted in my ex ex threatening me with CSA again, as I am now working I have agreed to give them both £150 each per month. The CSA keep fobbing me off with excuses or that it is being transferred to a case worker.
Even though my case is handled by the sensitive case and admin team in Bolton, as they have openly admitted to me on the phone that they have made numerous errors on my assessments.
I know it is very long winded and believe me, that is shortened down quite a lot. I hate the CSA with a passion and read into this how you like. I want nothing to do with them, as all they have done is complicate things. I do not mind paying for my kids but a fair amount ( what I can afford to pay). £300 is still more than I can afford but it is better than £500. It would just give me more incentive to earn more commission in work to cover it, so I can afford to do the nice things with my kids. ie... take them on holiday, although we won't go into this as I find it hard to see my kids for the weekend.
Any advice is greatly received, also has anybody actually had the CSA tell them things like your daughter is starving because of you, as I have albeit a few years ago. I would be interested to hear other peoples experiences. I have never heard anybody say a good thing about them even parents with care (Mum's in 99% of cases).