Simon says:

Simple one really

My ex-wife refused to accept my maintenance payments for my children as paart of an access dispute. A year later, through the court process I started to try and get access by, she made a CSA claim for maintenance, even though she originally refused my money!

Anyway, getting to the Point, the CSA have now made their assessment and I cannot afford it due to my other financial commitments (I’m not talking about a lavish lifestyle, just rent, food, essential bills).

What do I do, where do I stand? I know the CSA comes first, bit this now leaves me about £300 p.m. short. It Does doesn’t seem fair that they just base their assessment on how much I earn. I earn a good wage, but because of where I live, living costs are high. I have arrears of £900 which they agreed to spread over a year but even without the arrears I cannot afford the payments.

Amanda jones says:

Hi csa said I had to pay 40 per cent of my wages which I couldn’t afford I was behind with all my bills owed money everywhere I was suicidal they wouldn’t help me at all I eventually had my house repossessed and moved into a tiny flat still paying csa most of my money I was on the edge of ending it all I begged and pleaded with them with no sympathy at all from them , I eventually had to move back in with my parents at age 45 . I have now remarried and csa just kept putting the payments up putting a strain on my new marriage I eventually gave up my job I had trained years to do and which I loved and now have no income and my husband supports me it was the only way to get them off my back ..I had shared custody of my kids and because he was unemployed he lied and said I only had them one day a week just to get money from me they believed him not me even though I sent receipts for payments I made to him csa shoud be ashamed

David Bourne says:

Hello
I’m knee deep in arrears with this shower
Because of chargers which is not child support just the administration of …
They have put me in debt I’ve paid asked to pay direct to my ex who refused ok deduction of earnings in 11 months they have taken £3200 and still want more
No food no way of getting to work
I love my kids and if I had the a descent wage money would me no object
But I live in Britain that is corrupt for money council tax water tax TV tax road tax mot tax food and tax on petrol not only a child tax for profit ???
How is it in the best interest of the country to punish men biological parents who want their children in their lives
Be abused by a goverment agency for profit it’s just a scam to exploit money from the poor or low income workers
So kids don’t need homes toys food by the discriminated parent no just we are a bank
To give to controlling cocersive ex partners who think that they have a right to abuse us and our children
The law should be changed on all sides to make what is best for our children’s future
Not just to steal money right now
Oh we’ll take your car home
Again how is that in our children’s best interests
Child support my be lawful but taking garnished wages is unlawful

Simon Bolt says:

Hi,
I could really do with help/advice/cyanide pill, any one of those will do at the moment. I’m in £27k debt, which StepChange are trying to help me with, my income is less than my outgoings, i have a 3 year old Son who’s being assessed for Autism/Aspergers and our Landlord won’t renew our tenancy, won’t tell us why and so we have to find somewhere else to live….
Anyway….
I have two children with my Ex-Mistake and this new CSA firm are screwing me over massively. I was currently paying £300 a month with the old CSA but this new firm have turned up, flexed their muscles and all of a sudden they now want £500 a month from me!! The reason?…. HMRC have me earning £39,000 a year. Yeah i was, last April, but that company has gone into liquidation and i’m now scraping £32,000. But these scumbags don’t care, they have ‘Information’ on my £39k so they’re using that. It doesn’t matter that I have a dozen new payslips here, telling a different story, or about my money issues in the opening paragraph. Paying that much will cost me everything, my current relationship, my Son, any chance in affording somewhere else, everything! I thought my Ex and I were on OK terms, but now i’ve seen the real greedy, selfish, spoiled her and i’m glad we’re apart. This new CSA have FAR TOO MUCH power, they take nothing into consideration (ie, my debt and problems or the massive amount her partner earns) and you can’t turn to anyone for help or to argue against them. It’s like screaming at a brick wall. I don’t have the amount of money they are asking for and you can’t get blood out of a stone. But they are certainly going to try!!

If anyone has any advice that can help me i’d be grateful. I obviously want to pay for my children, but i need to keep a roof over my other one too!

Jai says:

If we all pull together I’m sure we can get our voices heard and do something about this? Maybe I’m being naive but they can’t just TAKR money.. or can they!?

Sue says:

I’m sick of the csa, my husband cannot afford to work
Full time because of the money they want, the council don’t
Take the money into account and I think they should, for us and his ex!
I have 6 kids who’s dad sadly passed away so no extra money for my kids, so mine are ment to go without and suffer because his ex is greedy and not even needing the extra income! Her new bloke has no kids to support and is on a high wage!
We are happy to buy and support his kids but the payments need to be calculated properly and working out rent benefits etc! It should also be classed as a income her end!
After all child benefit is classed as a income

John says:

I’m in the same boat as all of them of you. The CMF are a joke! I have one child I have a a mortgage and am just scraping by, got a bill today which they want me to pay £600 more a month!!! Tried to ring them but can’t talk till Monday. I have never missed a payment in my life but I fear now I could lose my house, and everything I have worked so hard for all my life. My ex doesn’t work, lives in ocean housing, got 2 daughters buy 2 different dads 1 is mine, 2 cats 2 dogs and lives in a ##it hole. Sitting on her backside while I am ripped off time and time again. I don’t begrudge paying for my daughter but the CMF never take into account your outgoings? What am I supposed to do? I can’t afford this, I’m going to loose everything. I’m beside myself with worry. Somebody please help us.

I hate CSA says:

Basically my ex stopped contact with his children and I never heard anything for a year, I was struggling to pay for my children so I called CSA! They told me he was eligible to pay something! 2momths down the line I have heard nothing and he’s just got married had a two week holiday in Croatia while I am struggling to make ends meat on my 16 hours of work! BUT my current partner has been told by CSA he has to pay £300 a month for 1 child!!! WHAT this is crazy money! I wouldn’t even expect that from my ex!! How the hell do they come up with these calculations! Yeah my partner has a good job! But what about our rent the 3 children who live at home the debts and bills! We can just about live now! I’ve had to leave my baby to go to work just so we can cover food shopping. We are both very depressed now. He’s been paying his way for 10 years for his daughter and all of a sudden his ex has got a greedy cow and wants more so she can fund her lavish lifestyle. His kid won’t see a penny of that. Yet my ex has a lavish lifestyle and doesn’t seem to have to pay naff all!! I don’t understand how all this is supposed to be fair in anyway!!!

Lee says:

My ex when we split demanded to know how much it give her before deciding how often I could see my 2 children. Cut a long story out. The cms have calculated my earnings 6.5k more than I earn and my payment have gone from £80 to £427. I have my kids Sunday 10 am through to wed afternoon,every week, and 2 weeks summer holiday. I can barely afford to exist as things are. They’re enforcing my missed payment and taking it from my wages.. over a weeks wages now cant get over time and can no longer provide for my kids in any way now. Having to leave work as can’t afford petrol etc.. but that’s ok for the cms even though it was set up to ensure children don’t live in poverty when with either parent. They have it so wrong. Shes not in any need of my money as she has a new partner who supports her. She’s had 7 holidays in two years 6 without the kids. And yet I’ve had none as I can’t afford to take my kids away. Just so unfair..when will women be told to do extra work and provide for they’re children like us men are doing. I for the last 2 years have never missed a payment and for the 3.5 days I don’t have the kids, I work 60 hrs a week. Not I’m losing everything including my children yet again because of an unethical system.

Cms biggest fan says:

Is there anyone who can help fathers ???????????? If so please we need the help we really do need it and I just wonder what can be done way cms to be fair they need to take into other people outgoing for rent etc someone out there help us ???

Danielle antrobus says:

Surely there should be a protest to parlement if you get local mps involved fight for fair child maintenance I was a single mum and got nothing coz my ex partner was self employed and zero income but iv been on the other side a good farther left in debt becouse of a greedy ex she’s claiming benefits illegally and says her partner who works full time doesn’t live with her we r basically paying for all three children two of witch are not my husbands but because he has a good job she get £40 a month more for 1 than I got for 3 it’s not even going to the child I think if we can get all the letters to parliament they would have to address it get the meds involved so people can’t ignor it and start a campaign farthest for justice worked dad now see there kids

Jane Devenay says:

Why is anyone allowing this to happen? My daughter inlaw claims other benefits so will remain in her nice new 4 bed , while my son has been told he’s got to pay 139 a week plus arrears and the collection fee .
Of course he understands he has to pay towards there care but he’s a fisherman, living in high rent costal town .
What foul government department try and rip someone’s life from under them .
Come on sites like fathers for justice do something 😡

Nick says:

Amazing that we live in a society where it benefits myself & partner to separate with me having to leave my 3 children and move into a bed sit as I cannot afford the payments to the csa for my son from my previous relationship over 11 years ago. The csa are asking for £348.00 per month.
Now once I’ve left my current partner & children she will now be able to claim full rent allowance 25% deductions in council tax along with other benefits we are not currently entitled to, even though she is a stay at home mum with no income.
Now I can live in a property and also get a 25% deduction in council tax.
My current partner can then put a csa claim in and the money for all now 4 children is 524 per month now my old ex is only entitled to 138 per month to figure.

ian says:

My story is very similar to many above, Initially had one job where quarter of my wage goes to pay CS. I have never had a problem paying. But i can’t afford with my bills such as rent, water, elec, council Tax, i haven’t eaten properly for months and regularly have to go to a friends and ask for help. its depressing and a rolling circle. There is no answer, i work now 2 jobs, but bear in mind a second job is taxed at basic rate, and CS calculate using the total from all jobs so i end “keeping” only 55% on the money earn’t in the second job. i do not go out, i have no contract phone. i am minus each month relying on friends. there is no help for me, im unable to downgrade from a 1 bed studio flat as still cheapest around. i cant share as i do have the children to stay occasionally. there is no saving for emergency costs such as find other transport due to train strikes. or even being able to buy treats for the kids when i see them and i see them every week. I feel like a shit dad because i can’t afford to take them out or treat them not even be able to buy a book. I despair whilst the quality of my life deteriorates, ever hungry working 2 jobs to no ones benefit. the kids are always left disappointed. I hate to think what my own children think of me, always tired I do the best with what i have and i be the dad that i can walking to see them each when ever i can. im tired of it. and after all this…. there is no where to ask for help, earn too much to get help from council or universal benefits. i would actually earn more living off benefits and using the system.

Terry says:

At the start of January I got a letter saying my payment was going up to about £100 a week and also getting charged £10 collection fee but IV always paid monthly plus I missed a couple of payments last year which I have tried to catch up on and known I was £144 in arrears which the letter I received in January said but just received another letting beginning of February wanting to increase my payments again because my ex doesn’t think she is getting enough and I’m know in arrears of nearly£1000 have had no communication with CMS and every time I call on the phone for over an hour trying to get answers and tell them I can’t afford to pay what they are demanding but all I get told is I have to pay even though it could cost me my home marriage and time with my younger kids and what makes it even worse my daughter who is 18 stay at school 5 nights a week and only stays with her mum 2 nights just don’t understand how the CMS can destroy a parent who wants to pay but can’t afford what that are told to pay

Darren says:

Yes they can and will.
It will stress you upset you and cot you everything.
So so wrong im therr now
Pleaded and begged
But no help i will give uo work its the only way
I live my girls an have always paid but cannot afford new calculation
Its wrong but the only way.

Ivan Reece cowen says:

I have a mutual agreement paying my ex I have 2 children with, however my 3rd child with someone who wants nothing to do with me but yet still wants my money through csa is so brutal I’m going to have to quit work and claim benefits… as I am getting no help and pushing more in arrears with payments and every day living costs… I live on my own and have my full rent to pay… it’s like paying for my rent twice a month paying csa as well it’s just too much… I have my other Bill’s I have to pay and I’m struggling with everything else! This is putting a massive mental health issue on me… constantly depressed and stressed out as am just not making enough to live happy… in fact I’m working to pay Bill’s and that’s it. Phoning csa didnt help I was constantly told I’m the paying parent and they just work the figures not interested in me at all just as long as they get payments. In which come out my wages before tax so it hits me hard.

Marie says:

We are in the same boat. My partner had an agreement with his ex and was paying a mutually agreed amount every month. Has never missed a payment. We contracted Covid in March and as a household had to isolate. She went nuts when we told her we couldn’t have the children whilst isolation. Now as a backlash reaction she has gone to the CSA. The figure they have come back with is absolutely ridiculous. There is no issue in paying maintenance, just the amount that they are saying needs to be paid. They calculated it on HMRC figures, my partner has changed employment and is no on a lower salary. his ex was also a spendaholic and racked up £10,000 worth of debt in his name. At first she was paying for this as she agreed the debt was hers but now, since the Covid Isolation incidence she has also stopped paying that with the attitude, its in your name deal with it. So not only have we got the maintenance amount to pay but also the debt that although is in my partners name is intact hers. We are just about to send the mandatory reconsideration. The letter is 13 pages long, it also includes a complaint to be forward to the DWP Complaints handling team. We have already decided that we are taking the complaint all the way up the ladder to parliament if we have to and if the are assessment isn’t done fairly we will follow the appeal process and take this as far as we can. We are not taking this lying down. Total bias towards the parent with the children and no consideration for how the paying parent is going to live. Discrimination at its best. If it wasn’t for us being a couple and living together, he could not afford a roof over his head and to feed himself after they take what they want. How can the government justify taking that much money off people that they are forced into poverty. How is the minimum living wage not taken into consideration and protected. Then the maintenance works out on the balance left, if any at all.. Surely as a human right people require the basic living wage to be protected to be able to live.

Nick says:

What kind of a society do we live in when theft like this is legalised?
It is a joke, I won’t give my entire sob story here as it is the same as the rest.
Two things worth mentioning are – When I first split up with my ex I paid the mortgage and all the bills for the first year and thereafter agreed to pay the mortgage and let her live in the house for free and sign it over to the kids. I was in the process of doing all of that when the CMS told me a case was opened against me. I avoided paying by telling them she was living in my house rent free and I was paying the mortgage which was a similar fee to what they were asking. They didn’t care, they just kept tabs on my ‘missed’ payments and treated me like a criminal that wasn’t paying for his kids.
The lesson here is never make an arrangement without it being written up by a legal professional, all the texts I sent about the agreement we had made meant nothing!
So the arrears started. Nothing I did or said reached any kind of sensible ears, and the arrears mounted.
The other thing worth mentioning is that this April, for some unknown reason they added over £2000 worth of arrears which I have questioned because that’s about 3-4 months worth of what I should be paying, so even if I had made no payment, that amount shouldn’t have accrued.
I asked over and over again for it to be explained but it was if the person I was talking couldn’t understand simple maths and that it was impossible to accrue so much arrears in one month when I don’t owe that much. They are upping my payments regardless to clear the arrears off which will leave me with £50 a week to live on after all necessary living expenses are paid. And I will have to use that money for food too which some might call necessary as well.
The next lesson is don’t try to reason with them, it doesn’t work, and it only serves to frustrate you. Accept that they are a law unto themselves and currently answerable to no one. It won’t help you in any way other than to stop you wasting time on the phone with people that cannot hear anything you say.
I’m getting a part time job, if I earn under the tax allowance and don’t have to pay this ridiculous amount of money I will actually be better off financially.
I work 50-60 hours a week in a decent job, but I’m not doing it to have my money taken by a corrupt government that supports this corrupt agency that then takes most of the rest of what I earn.
Where’s the incentive to work and achieve and build a life for yourself?

BrokeFather says:

I am in the same situation. I have been paying £257 per month for CSA. and this year, thanks to coronavirus, income has taken a tumble. So paying £257 was going to be a stretch. Then they wrote to me and said because I earned £x amount last year, I am now to pay £336 per month. This now means that when I get paid, I haven’t got enough to pay all my bills and pay the increased csa.
I rang them to tell them my situation and the girl on the phone told me “this is the amount, you have to pay it” and when I said I was not going to be able to afford to pay my rent or other bills she said and I quote “not our problem, this takes priority over anything else. If you can’t afford your rent, move”

So in short… if you can’t afford it, the CSA response is “tough”

Paul edwards says:

My x wife took out a loan and I Guarantor to the loan she has not paid the loan so I pay 400 a month and 100 maintenance
She has now taken me to the csa what can I do

Jay Will says:

Hi Michael i would like to help. Let me know how we can make contact.

Jay Will says:

Just reading your comment made my blood boil they’ve contacted me and been ringing me everyday and it has caused me anxiety.

Jay Will says:

I’m now in the same boat and fillike shit how can our elected representatives create a monster like the CSA/CMA and not be held accountable for putting good decent hardworking father’s into poverty they do not consider their non residents living costs it’s legal extortion. We seriously need to come together and think of strategies to cause chaos to either bring down the CMA or get it reformed.

Dan says:

CSA sent me a letter telling me my payments are changing due to HMRC telling them Im earning more than I am, I believe they have back dated it, they expect me to go from £111 per child (I have 2) to £1020 per child, that’s ridiculous and £2040 is more than I take home. I have raised appeal with CSA still waiting for a reply, they state they reply in 7 days but haven’t, im waiting for 7 working days to pass and if they still dont reply then I will use that in my favour. How ever I have no idea how I am going to pay for my bills, rent, food etc I can seriously see how people end up suicidal from all this.