Please calm down, i know its hard! what good will it do in the end? your child (children) will then lose both parents!

When i first wrote this about the CSA i was in a terrible state and wanted to end everything! My nightmare ended when i finally got speaking to a MAN at the CSA and not a women!!. The gentleman was very understanding of my situation and this is the part i could not get my heAd over!! He told me that he could not understand why they have not accepted my offer of paying them back £60 per month as this was more than fair compared to my earnings, when i explainded to him about being told my house was to be sold ect he said yes this is true and can in extreme cases happen BUT! this is normally only when someone refuses to pay us! or is in extreme debt, He told me to leave this with him and he would get back to me. Later that day i got a call saying that as long as i paid the £60 per month and kept up payments no further action would be taken, this all happened because someone at the CSA actually listened to me!! Anytime i got a women on the phone at the CSA i felt i was spoken to like SCUM!! just a man that has no care or respect for his child, it is a discrace the way they speak to you! we are human beings!! not monsters! Yes the CSA needs to be there for the fathers that don’t give a t**s but please don’t treat us all the same!!

I still have not seen my daughter since my first post on here and still everyday i long to one day see her again, even though she will be older, she will always be my wee girl in my heart, i know i have and still am missing so much in her life it tears me up inside, the thing that keeps me going is that one day i hope to see her again and explain my side of the story! am i going to say how much i hate her mother and partner when i see her again and say how much hurt they put me through??? No! I will only say, ” i have missed you so much and i love you Lauren, we have so much to catch up on, please give me that chance”

I have had enough hate and hurt in my heart over these years, i don’t see the need to share that with my daughter, she will know when she looks into my eyes for the first time again just how much i have missed her without saying a word.

My advise to fathers out there going through the same thing is, please be strong! There will be days you feel you can’t go on but you must! Go to a mirror and stare, look at yourself and say ” this won’t beat me!” Keep saying it, shout it if you must! Just don’t give up.

Peter

Am In A Similar Situation Am Paying CSA Everything They Want,Never Missed A Payment They Want More I Give Them More. Now Am In Arrears Cause Of Them Can’t Pay Anymore Thinking About Packing In Work Work Is Not Paying Now. Just Going To Pay CSA.

They Are Threatening Me With Prison Now. But Before I Go To Prison I Will Make Sure They Will Have A Reason To Do It. I Will Go And Murder My EX.

That Is How I Feel At The Moment.

I know that this dont help you, but I want to say that you are not alone, the delightful CSA have now said that he has arrears of £3000 but wont tell him where from or even how as he has paid every week since SHE put in her claim. They have now said that to accomidate the money for her (as lets make no mistake thats where its going, to her!! her kids wont benifit from it!) they have reduced his protected earnings proportion to £134.99 a week! we have a house 3 children and a life to lead too! How do they expect us to live?? My partner rang them up in tears and he said i may as well end it all as i cant provide for the family i have now, let alone her! and the nasty woman on the other end of the phone said, “well we still well get money from you”………. what even if he’s DEAD??? I am astonished at the level the CSA call goons go to upset these poor fathers, my theroy is half the time the woman kicks the fellar out so she can move her new one in….SO THATS HER CHOICE…….I dont see how it can be allowed to have a mother who will take, take, take, off the poor struggling man but dont allow acces………….MADNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All I can say to you peter is like my partner one day they will read all the court letters and all the things that their mother has done will be brought to light and they then will be able to have that right to choose………AND I CANT WAIT FOR THAT DAY!
It must be awful for my partner as he only has memories and a very few amount of pictures to remember them by……He wouldnt even recognise them in the street!

Good luck xxx

F*** the csa and all that work for them

Kerry

- once there you will be amongst 1567 other’s who are having or have had problems with the agency and child contact, you could gain much needed support and advice.