Our children need the support they deserve

September 17, 2014

Of all the stories on here, I understand everyone’s frustration. I have 3 children by my ex husband.

We split 3 years ago on Halloween. I opened a case within 4 weeks and I haven’t had a penny. Why because he’s self employed or jumps from job to job, thus avoiding payment.

The systems all wrong, csa should have the power to attach to national insurance numbers not just employers. Then our children would get the support they deserve.

I want my child to know that his father did his fair share

September 17, 2014

My son is nearly 10 he sees his dad every other weekend nearly 52 days a year I have not received any money of him for over 8 years to contribute to my son apart from 60 pound last year to help pay for school trips.

What ever his dad buys him be it clothes or toys I have never seen anything as he makes sure he brings nothing to my house he has started working away a lot at the moment Germany I not sure what his job is but he relays on me to sort our son out when he away.

This Times it’s for three weeks so my son will be at home for the three weeks and is a bit upset about that .his dad’s wife has not offered to help and have him witch I think is unfair they have a baby which is his half sister but they don’t have time for my son witch brings me to this point.

I have never wanted anything from his dad but he can’t keep leaving his son behind at weekends and I think it’s now time to make him realise what he has as well as his new family.

I want to make sure my son has money for his future and so he knows his dad has done his fair share in making that possible……. thank you I now need to know what step are to be made to claiming csa for my child.

What is the minimum that should be provided for an overnight stay?

September 16, 2014

What does an overnight stay include? My girls go to there dads but he doesnt feed them there or do any washing.

They dont even have any bedding on there beds.

Please help.

Why won’t the CSA check properly?

September 15, 2014

My ex works full time and his partner of ten years works in the oil industry. They have no children living with them.

They have holidays to the Far East every year. They have nice cars and a lovely house. The csa calculation shows his income to be a part time income of £800 per month and ask him to pay £80 per month.

He definitely works full time so he has given them false info. The csa won’t do another check now for two years. I asked him to pay for my sons school trip to France but he said no.

Do I need to give him any more?

September 14, 2014

Hi I need to no if I have to pay csa for my 3 children.my ex partner has the children full time but they come to me 3 times a week.they sleep over too I don’t revive any money for them he claims the tax credits for them and I have to pay for food bus fair and dinner money for my children I also buy Christmas birthdays and Easter etc.

I have all the recipts as proof can you tell me if I do need to give him any more than in already spending on them many thanks.

CSA never listened

September 14, 2014

I gave and i still give my daughter everything. but CSA gave my ex everything without listening to me.

I paid for my house at63k and she sold it for 300k which i recieved nothing is that csa procedure.

P.s.my daughter loves me so CSA havent won apart from making a b*tch rich.

Why should I pay CSA when he never supported me?

September 13, 2014

This may surprise you, but I’m actually a mother wanting to avoid the CSA – this is why.

15 years ago I had a casual relationship and fell pregnant. His father and I attempted to live together but it did not work out – he took drugs, went missing for days, and gave up his job – expecting me to support us, whilst he did nothing.

I already had a 4 year old and worked 4 days a week as a secretary. Needless to say he was out on his ear. He did not see his boy for nearly 18 months. I’d hear on the grapevine he’d been to this party & that & was generally behaving like a teenager.

I got on with my life, continued to work & study & when my children were 6 & 3 I went to university to train to work within the NHS. I worked all sorts of jobs & all sorts of hours to make sure neither child wanted for nothing. I got a good job in the NHS and all the while it was just me & the kids. We were extremely close knit & happy. My boy had contact with his dad from about the age of 4 as he had sorted his life out somewhat.

He NEVER EVER paid maintenance!! I can count on one hand the number of times he’d slip me, say £20 towards a pair of shoes or what have you. He’d got himself into masses of debt & had an IVA – meaning his income was vastly reduced.

Anyway skip forward & a couple of years ago I met the love of my life. A year later we decided to move in together. This is where the real problems started. My son didn’t want to move area (we were moving 20 miles away). Understandably, at 13 he didn’t want to leave his friends. He asked to go and live with his dad – also I think he was upset that he wasn’t the only man in my life anymore – not that I left him out in any way my children were my no 1 priority – always!!

To add to this we lived on the edge of an estate were drugs and anti social behaviour were rife. My son had started mixing with the wrong crowd at school & this was the perfect opportunity to nip that in the bud.

His dad at this time had just split up with his wife (she threw him out for being unfaithful). After discussing the options with my son and his dad we agreed that he would give it 6 months and if he really hated it he could live with his dad (in my mind this was never going to happen). Just before we moved my son and I had an argument about cleaning his room – when I came home his dad had picked him up.

In the meantime we got on with the move and I fought to get him a place in the local school – which is one of those highly sought after – had to go to a formal appeal and won. Decorated my boys new room and bought his birthday presents. All the while his dad had rented a grotty house, changed my sons schools and promised him the world – being told by my son … me and dad are taking a year out to cycle round the world.

12 months on my son is a completely changed boy/young man. He is rude, surly – wont see his grandma (my mum – who helped raise him with me) is running around the streets late at night and is generally being a little sh*t. His dad hasn’t taken him to Blackpool never mind round the world.

I’ve been left feeling like my hearts been ripped out – watching my son turn into what he has become. his dad doesn’t really care about him and i’ve been told is drinking quite a bit. Yesterday I received a letter from the CSA – why the @%&* should I pay him money. I raised my kids single handedly – without a penny. I worked (sometimes two jobs) studied and built a better life for us Ps my daughter is 19, studying and her brother pretty much ignores her too – despite how close they were.

How is how I’ve been treated humane?

September 13, 2014

I divorced in 2002 with a Private Agreement for Joint Custody for my (3) Children.After (5) yrS the PWC decided Main Custody and Claimed CSA against myself.

From 2007-Present Day I have only had contact with my Three Children on approx 4 occasions . A total of £30,000 in CSA not to see my Children – How is this Legal or Humane???

I have just recently started contact with my Son after (5)Five years . Hardly surprising due to severe Behavioural Problems and Seperation from his Natural Mother he Violently Assaulted me to the point I believed I was dead! Why is CSA allowed to ruin Families Lives??

My son is presently being evaluated in a Mental Health Hospital – Not his fault but a selfish PWC who has denied me access to my own Children, this should never have been allowed.

1. We had a Private Agreement the PWC agreed 50/50 Custody and was supposed to pay me Maintenance which he reneged on and he Claimed CSA against myself .

2. If a PWC has CSA -Child Benefit-Tax Credit then if they have CSA access to your own Children should be arranged to maintain health/care and welfare of the child.

3. My Child is in a Hospital as he violently assaulted me and now I am still paying the PWC how is that legal or Fair??

Fed up with how CSA treats NRPs

September 12, 2014

Hi there, after reading this blog, it makes me realise, that we are not the only owned who are soooo fed up with the CSA attitude to non-resident parents!

My husband & I have been married for nearly 12 years & have been dealing with constant attacks from his ex all this time, she is using CSA to stress us out, emotional & financially.

The reason why their 10 old marriage broke down-is that she has been sleeping with her own sister’s fiancé, YES! You have read it right! You thiugt these things can only happen on Jeremy Kyle show- now it happens with people who use Dr. title in front of their name!

So after leaving business to her as well as half of the house , cars etc & taking care of all the loans/credit cards & voluntarily monthly contributions towardsds 3 children, my husband found himself dealing with CSA for the first time.

When I met my husband he was broke & had to work from home as he had no money to pay for business premises, but he always been the best dad anyone can dream of & spend as much time as he was “allowed” with children. (We have kids every Tuesday till Wednesday & every second Friday-Monday as well as half of all holidays.) All these years we had constant accesment from CSA & most of the teme managed to prove our point, but it takes determination & a lot of time writing letters/phone calls.

While every time she felt like it-another investigation will immediately follow, it’s almost like a game for her, as we have never failed one payment for the last 13 years not accommodated her requests to look after children extra while she is on holidays. She is married to the same guy she has left my husband for ( not to mention she hasn’t spoken t her own sister for over 13 years).

Recently, we had another assessment asking to show our business accounts, my husband & I own a company 50/50 so CSA should only look at his income not mine, but they have assessed us on our both income & it’s been over 4 months that we are trying to prove them wrong. What I have learned is CSA are never wrong, even the error is obvious! We are nor dealing with the appeal unit, but feel like it’s just not going anywhere.

At present time, our accounts are getting deeper into overdraft & soon we will start failing to pay for the house we all live in ( we have a 7 year old (as well as 15 year old & 18 year old who we pay CSA for) We regularly speak to the appeal unit & they tell us that our case is the next in line, but it has been like that since end of June. The ex on the other hand enjoyed another luxury trip to Maldives ( she goes there couple of times a year) but still claims that it’s not enough money to buy school shoes for my step daughter & on many occasions she had to ask for dinner money from me, as her mum did no given her enough for the months, you would have thought CSA contributions are for the children & not for luxuries for the ex.

Sorry it’s such a long story, but we feel like giving up our jobs & moving somwhere far away. It’s ot like we don’t want to support the children, but even they saying to us that if we can give them money direct-they will be able to have control over it, they old enough to see that.

I think CSA is the most unpleasant, useless & pointless organisation, with rude & incompetent stuff who have complete disregard to any human right. I know a few mothers who has never received payments from their exes & CSA not bothered chasing them up, but when you have a job & pay maintenance entry months, also contribute extra on top of the maintenance for clubs, trips, clothes, etc & pay your taxes- you are the perfect target for them, they can play God with you & get away with it.

If I owed the CSA, they’d take money without question

September 11, 2014

iv been paying csa for nealy a year now and iv had my daugter every other weekend for the last 7month ‘wud the money iv payed be refunded??

Becouse im dam sure if i owed the csa, they’d take it without question at a stupid rate weather i live or die thts how much the csa take into concideration to the father off the child, discrase on grate britain in many fathers and mother eyes

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