Can I force the mother to take a DNA test to prove I am not the father?
March 3, 2013
I’m asking for a little advice on my current situation.
In January/February 2010 I had intercourse with a woman. We weren’t very familiar with each other and didn’t see each other again since.
The woman had stated that after venturing home she would use a form on contraception to prevent any trouble.
Instead however I got a message a few weeks later stating that she was pregenant.
She had recently broken up with her first partner and was adamant that it would be his and not mine. The logic behind this was that the ‘sync’ was correct.
Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t want to have a child at all, especially with this unknown woman. I did however understand that this was a serious issue and that it should be treated correctly. Standing up to talk about it neutrally and calmly I was only greeted with the reoccurring message of “It’s not yours!”
This wasn’t enough to satisfy me and I asked for further proof regarding this ‘sync’ process and what it was we should do if it was mine.
Instead all communication was shot down and eventually buried to one side.
I did not hear from this woman again for a year and a half.
In early September 2012 I received a phone call from the CSA whilst at work.
The CSA had apparently been trying to contact me for a while (I had received no correspondence) and needed to talk to me regarding this woman’s child.
I later received a message from the woman stating that her ex-partner had taken a test to finally prove that the child was not his to remove the responsibility from himself. Interestingly the man is no longer attracted to women.
I had a gut feeling since the very start that I was going to be unlucky enough to be burdened with this problem. After trying to take things the correct way and having it pushed back in my face it was only right for it all to come back in my face a year and a half later.
Just my luck. I was now a father of a child somewhere in the United Kingdom that I did not want to be a part of from the very start. I felt like the victim of some unfair prank to force two ex-partners to stay together that inevitably backfired, leaving me to pick up the pieces from two strangers.
I feel at this part it would be appropriate to note that I am a 21 year old male and that this woman is now 19.
At the time I was completely exhausted from the concept of having to deal with this all over again and felt completely powerless to avoid any kind of disaster considering the ever-beating need for male attention and insecure behavior of the mother.
Stupidly, I gave up. I did not admit to being the father of the child and I am not on the birth certificate however the CSA took my passive behavior of paying direct debits to avoid more conflict when I was down and almost out as “I am the father.”
Now after a much needed boost I am looking to undo this mess although the CSA seem to offer no service once a case has been closed.
Is there a way I can get them to assist me in opening this case and resolving the next 17 years of my life?
If not, is there anything I can do outside of the CSA to put this together again?
From what I understand I can take a DNA test although if the mother declines I’m stuck paying solicitor bills which is not something a 21 year old can afford.
I’m asking for any advise that may help my situation!
Thank you in advance.